12 summer music festivals to get hyped for in defiance of your own mortality

Pitchfork, Riot Fest, Boston Calling, and more—there's only so many chances to see Halsey (actually, there's quite a few)

By Alex McLevy  |  May 13, 2022 | 7:00am
Music News Festivals
12 summer music festivals to get hyped for in defiance of your own mortality
Dua Lipa (Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty), Jack Antonoff (Photo: Jason Koerner/Getty), and Gerard Way (Photo: Mark Metcalfe/Getty) Image: The A.V. Club

As we enter the sweltering months of summer—the sun beating down, sweat dripping from our brows, our psyches releasing the pent-up ennui of a thousand nights spent inside wondering what fresh hell a global pandemic will exact next upon a population just trying to get by—one’s thoughts inevitably turn to when we’ll all get to see Green Day perform “Basket Case” on a lavishly sponsored stage. It’s called fun! And it is coming your way, in the form of the usual deluge of outdoor music festivals littering the country, like little doggie accidents on our national pee pad.

These festivals come in all shapes and sizes: Separated by size, genre, audience, or even ideology in some of the more awkward cases, there’s something for everyone to be found out there. To help you decide which fleeting monuments to capitalist rapaciousness (and the attendant artistic effort to push back against the encroaching darkness) you should visit, we’ve put together this handy list of some of the most notable events taking place over the next few shiny summer months. Take a look, maybe take a listen to the artists who will be performing, and see which festival looks best for you. We apologize in advance for the lack of an “Express Your Helpless Frustration At The Whims Of The Wealthy Dictating An Increasingly Feudal-Like Existence For The Rest Of Humanity As Oligarchs Use Bad-Faith Culture War Propaganda To Keep The Working Class Pitted Against Itself Instead Of Against Them” Festival this year, but it was bought out and renamed the “Doritos Presents The TikTok And JP Morgan Chase Funfetti Celebration Starring The Chainsmokers.”

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Firefly (September 22-25)
Dua Lipa Photo Ethan Miller Getty Images

Have you ever been at a crowded, messy music festival and thought to yourself, “This could use 100% more camping?” No? Well, then, best pass on Firefly, whose big draw is the chance to roll out a sleeping bag after a long day of musical performances, and stare up at the sky in a hastily erected tent, wondering if the Port-A-Potties will be cleaned overnight or if you’ll be walking into a literal shitshow the next morning. Dua Lipa, Halsey, Green Day, and My Chemical Romance are headlining, with Weezer, Big Sean, Gunna, and the comeback tour of Avril Lavigne all supporting. It’s , alternating steadily between names that provoke a reaction of “Oh, cool!” and those inducing an internal shudder. But more importantly, it arrives at the tail end of summer, one last hurrah before the leaves turn, fall beckons, and we re-enter a more thoughtful, less sun-dappled time. If you’re not happy where you are, do what you can to make a change. Whether it’s finding a new job or moving somewhere new, go ahead and take the plunge. We all deserve a brief respite from the avalanche of pain this life affords. Yes, the reaper will come for you—but make him fucking work for it.

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