200 goats invade California suburb, flagrantly disregarding social distancing guidelines
Aux Features goats
Because 2020 couldn’t get any weirder, residents in San Jose, Calif., came face to face with about 200 goats wandering through their neighborhood Tuesday evening. The scene, which looked like some bizarre version of the first few minutes of Dawn of the Dead, was captured on video by new local hero Zach Roelands. “This is the craziest thing to happen all quarantine,” he wrote in a tweet sharing the footage. We’re not sure that’s completely accurate, but it’s definitely up there on the list.
In an interview with USA Today Wednesday, Roeland explained that the goats are usually fenced off on a hill behind his home for a few days every year. They are brought in to clear out the dead grass in the area, which is prone to fires. But apparently the grass wasn’t good enough for these high-falutin goats and they somehow managed to make a break for it yesterday evening to rummage for snacks in his neighbor’s backyard. “They jumped up and … broke through the fence,” he told the outlet. “Eventually
they escaped into the street and started eating all the plants in …
everyone’s front yard.”
The goats made a mess in a few yards, but it reportedly only took a few minutes to wrangle them up. “The goats are actually pretty scared of humans, it seemed like,” Roelands explained. And while no one was apparently hurt, one Twitter user was right to point out just how dangerous this incident could have become: “This is literally how Mufasa died.”
The goats are, of course, not the only grazing animals eager to see people in this quarantine era. You may recall that a Montana on-air reporter had to social distanced himself the hell away from a a bunch of bison in March. Is it 2021 yet?
17 Comments
I am on Team Goats
Let’s face it, we’ve made a shambles of running the planet. It’s time to give the goats a turn.
No. Goats are assholes. When I was deployed to Honduras, our unit commander decided we needed a mascot, so he bought a goat (I was military police, so we were all just thankful he didn’t buy a pig.) They had flag football and when our team played, they would take the goat. One night, they asked me to take her back. This damned goat. She had a leash and I started walking and she just stood there. So, I said, in my best human-to-animal voice, “Come on!” (She had a name, but I don’t remember it.) She looked straight at me and sat.down. I finally got her back, but every time I was around her after that she butted me.I swear, I should have threatened her with el chupacabra.
Yes, Dionne. Just follow that pack of goats and you’ll get there without even having to ask for directions.
We were all kids once.
better than murder hornets.
Unless they’re murder goats.
ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Hey, did anyone hear how that monkey gang war in Thailand went? That sounds like the kind of thing we should maybe keep an eye on. Charlton Heston tried to warn us, people.
i just met a bunch of baby goats a few weeks ago and they are too god damn cute. it’s a shame they’ll grow up and look like this.
Those goats were part of an organized movement calling itself Liberaaaaaate San Jose-aaaaaaa.
Love how that shepherd dog near the end of the video know exactly what to do. “THIS IS IN MY GENES. I HAVE BEEN WATING FOR THIS MOMENT.”
That’s pretty much what I thought, but also the goat’s thinking “this is what we are trained for listen to our god the four legged fast fellow.”
More Covid-19 protesting! Where are their rifles?
What would gun advocates make of that many goats if feral?
Fucking city kids.