The key party spiked in popularity during the ’70s as the free livers and lovers of the previous decade’s counterculture attempted to maintain their libertine streak even as they settled down in the suburbs. It caught on as a last chance to feel the thrilling abandon of the lusty good ol’ days, and it’s on those same terms that our horny, confused pals of Riverdale retake the long-smoldering torch. Cheryl Blossom announces it as such, and even though she may have contrived the event as an elaborate ruse to get herself alone with Toni Topaz for a ill-advised bid to reconcile, a handful of different characters share her desire to re-experience their carnal past — or the one they would’ve liked to have.
The flirty soirée that serves as the centerpiece for “Lock and Key” straightens out the relationship dynamics for some and throws them into disorder for others, a catalyzing force in all cases. It’s a welcome shake-up after the relative inertia of the past couple weeks, proving that the rejiggered social terrain of the post-time-jump era can still consistently shift and evolve itself. It’s no coincidence that the party comes right at the halfway mark, an inflection point dividing the first part of the episode from the inverted second. Betty and Archie, for one, start the episode with a sweltering fireman roleplay and end it having parted ways from their casual setup. The sexy reckoning of the exchanged keys sends him Veronica’s way, and Betty’s freed up to devote more time to investigating the murderer her sister may have escaped. They’re both better off for it and so is the show, having forged a path through a plot juncture going nowhere.
The most upheaval comes to Kevin and Fangs, occupying more space in this hour than we’ve previously seen this season. We haven’t dug into the interiors of their relationship since jumping ahead to their mid-twenties, and they’ve seemingly got it all figured out — the boys have opened things up, so Fangs can get his rocks off while out on the road and Kevin can have the occasional romp with truck-stop patrons like Rick. It works for them, as suggested by the steam-room exchange that begins with “your lats are looking great, babe,” but there’s trouble in paradise. The news that they’re going to get married and raise Toni Topaz’s baby with her as a new-normal parenting triumvirate comes a bit too quickly, a hint that Kevin’s trying to fix a problem he can’t yet articulate. For him, the key game (and Rick’s surprise presence there, inviting a sex farce that never comes) triggers his realization that he’s not ready for the sudden rush into adulthood facing him.
Jughead is tumbling through his own plotline and, due to the recent uptick in his daily number of drinks, his own life. Plagued by visions of an otherworldly terror he just can’t shake, he’s trying to get some help with the alien encounter that might just be a Mysterious Skin-style repression tactic. More to the point, he’s headed for a link-up with Tabitha, tasked with carting him home and tending to him when he gets too wasted to partake in the key game. They get paired up, one of the more convenient matches in a game that ties itself up with undue tidiness, and it gives them a valuable push on the way to couplehood. But sectioning Jughead off from the other characters that complete this show’s delicate dramatic equation has weird side effects; Archie must now tap army buddy Eric for the bro-to-bro conversations he would’ve once shared with his burger-scarfing BFF, and the work-minded Betty has no romantic prospects whatsoever on the horizon.
The orbits of Cheryl Blossom and Toni Topaz intersect, their respective planets then drifting in opposite directions. The news that T.T. will raise her baby with Fangs and Kevin sends Cheryl Blossom into a furor, leading Toni Topaz to divulge her unnamed, convenient medical condition compelling her to have a baby while the having is good. But it’s not in the cards for them, Toni being far too sane for the ongoing high-Gothic soap at Thornhill. Cheryl then flings herself at Minerva, which, good for them? They both seem like pretty naturally melodramatic people, maybe it’ll be a good fit. At least everyone knows where they stand at this point, the futile pining having come to an end. Or maybe just the beginning of its end, but a significant step all the same.
It’s appropriate that this episode sees all the major characters convened in the old hangout room at school; the key party is one of those full-ensemble set pieces that clinched the best episodes of the pre-time-jump period, though there’s a satisfying bait-and-switch at play. The party itself doesn’t entail much sex or even sexiness, but the delayed payoff comes the next day as big plot developments ignite new fires. We move onward with great promise and a reconfigured relationship map, the romantic bedrock holding the show together while we try to be patient with the alien and highway killer subplots. Long live Archie and Veronica, the Ross and Rachel we actually want to see get together.
Stray observations:
- The disembodied voice of Katy Keene makes a cameo appearance this week, beckoning to us from the plane of nothingness she now inhabits post-cancelation. Her siren call lures unfortunate characters to the oblivion beyond the text, like the haunting choir of wails from the damned souls drifting through the river Styx.
- Hot take: I do not care for Cheryl Blossom’s key party dress. Looks like a bunch of dang flaccid icicles hanging off her midsection.
- Second hot take: weak sauce, teasing us with Reggie’s bisexuality only to backpedal his orientation into toe-dip experimentation that flames out with a single lip-lock.
- The mechanics of a key party in Cheryl Blossom’s consent-oriented safe space seem confusing to me. She’s saying that, once coupled and given the okay, anything goes? Is this not true of all sex, all the time — that you’re allowed to do everything you’re allowed to do? The whole key party concept seems anathema to our current paradigms of wokeness and diverse sexualities, necessitating a group of ten to twelve people all interested in and compatible with one another. Luckily, this isn’t hard in a town so conspicuously stocked with hotties, as Chadwick notes.
- Meme-destined quote of the week either comes from Veronica (“everyone’s a winner in a bull market,” she purrs, casting her glance Archie’s way) or Betty (“I don’t want my darkness to overtake you,” she says, with impossible earnestness).
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Cheryl’s pre-key party wardrobe was much better. The men’s shirt budget was reduced. The mothmen of Riverdale don’t look enough like moths.
It’s about time Veronica divorced Chad.
Minerva blackmailed Cheryl for a free portrait.
Is Kevin’s breakup the opening to introduce his canonical husband, Dr. Clay Walker?
I don’t see the writers investing more in Kevin beyond what we’ve already seen… so prob not. Kangs is the only reason either character gets any screen time.
And as someone who’s afraid of moths, I like that they didn’t resemble my nightmares.
Mrs. F. wondered angrily why Archie was wearing a shirt while he worked on Veronica’s apartment. With a hard hat.
Wow, that was the lamest key party ever. I agree with your take on how Cheryl said everything had to be consensual yet then played it off as anything goes. Confusing.Archie. Also confusing. Is in a relationship with Veronica, then falls in love with Betty, causing them to break up. Then he goes FWB with Betty, only to have the feels for Ronnie. Fickle much? Plus, didn’t he have sex with both of them within the day? Ick.Also, who plans a family and marriage then just changes their mind? This guy, Kevin. Let’s be open, now closed, now nothing. How do these people stay together as friends and more?And Topaz…she has to have kids young? Isn’t that just called being a woman? I mean, most people have kids between 25 and 40. She seems just on track. They never name her disease or disorder either. Strange.Nice Mysterious Skin reference…but I feel the Mothman is probably really the Mothman as sad as that is. Though I wish it was zombies and the Afterlife of Archie plot line I though the show was going to be would finally kick in. The Mothman bites him, he becomes a space zombie and has to call Sabrina to help him resurrect himself. I know she is in some afterlife herself but still. Then Betty and Ronnie could become witches and it could all implode on itself. Which it is, anyway.Plus, Jughead is 25ish and people still call him Jughead? Did he wrote under the name Jughead? Why would he keep the nickname?I don’t find the TBK story interesting at all. I also thought two of those scenes repeated twice. Like Betty got a call in the beginning of the episode that the body was not Polly’s then when to the scene, called Alice and conveyed the same info. Then a similar thing happened later. Bad writing?I liked the icicle dress. I think they are trying to make Cheryl an ice queen who lives in a castle. It was one of the few things in this episode I did like.
After a seven-year dating hiatus in the army, the party never stops for Archie now.
I’d bring up tag chasers, but knowing Archie he probably did stay celibate for the whole seven years, because angst.
I didn’t think Jackson would be at the party and he ends up getting laid.
1. I actually liked CB’s party wardrobe.2. Why does it feel like the writers are suddenly pressing to reinstate the status quo from pre-time jump? Old writing habits dying hard? I haven’t seen them shoving Bughead back together (perhaps a result of their RL breakup) but here we go again with Varchie. And Kangs gets reset as well. Grrr3. Betty’s mom is nothing but a cardboard cutout of a character now. If they wanted to move on from the adults (or, rather, some of the adults wanted to move on from the show) then make the clean break and just keep Hiram around as the Big Bad.4. Why bother to introduce Chadwick Gecko, heir to the Spiffany’s fortune, if he’s just going to be a clown? Although his note about Riverdale being full of an absurd number of attractive people was on the money and I appreciated Archie’s reaction as well.
Bonus points: Jughead serving hangover realness in that bathroom mirror scene. Those under-eye bags!
Nancy Drew was delightful this week, as always. I love the matter of fact way they talk about the supernatural; it’s deadpan and delightful. The season seems to be slowly revealing its remaining season-long villain, and I cannot wait.
George speaking in a French accent was a delight!
This week’s award in CW Stupidity goes to Bess, though.
Hmmm, you are being blackmailed by a con artist that people know about, and accept you anyway. Do you:
Tell your gang of mystery-solving friends, who come up with a plan to snare him?
Tell the matriarch who has said that your past is past, and she doesn’t care?
Or, steal from that self-same matriarch, and play right into the hands of the vengeful con artist? Because this is the CW, you “protect” everyone by taking the most self-destructive course, and making it so no one will now trust you. She should move to Star City.
I’ll admit, I assumed she was going to loop the matriarch in on the plan, and was disappointed when she didn’t. I kept waiting for that “twist” to come, and then it didn’t.
On the plus side, Bess being a weirdly quickly adopted heiress hasn’t done much for the show, so dropping that might be good.On the minus, I’m not sure what Bess’ “thing” is plotwise if they do drop that. She’s still a delight to have around and gets great dialogue, though.
Key party. Right. Not a key party that’s really important. The other thing. Got it.
I am so glad to have Toni Topaz around–she’s the one that keeps the show grounded.
Well, this was interesting, since I never saw any of the last season (class, didn’t feel like recording it). Fangs suddenly got hot, Jughead looks terrible. Everybody else looks (and acts) just about the same?
I maintain that the best person for Cheryl is Betty. The “incest” (They’re third cousins. I’m not even sure that that counts as legally related.) plays into Cheryl’s gothic theme, and I feel that they’re the only ones that can truly relate to each other’s mental illness and trauma.
Liked this episode way more than the last one, especially with all the cast interactions. But I really didn’t need Archie and Veronica to fall back into each other’s arms just yet – I know it’s been years in show time, but it’s only been a few episodes for us, and I would’ve liked them to take their time bringing them back together (like they are with Betty and Jughead – although maybe they’ll actually keep them apart, especially since the actors aren’t together anymore). I was having fun with the Betty-Archie stuff for the time being.
Betty is concerned about ruining Archie with all her darkness…bitch, he’s been to prison. And was in a fight club in prison. And probably killed a couple people, I can’t really recall, but he was certainly murder adjacent a bunch of times and this was before he went to war. He can hang.
He fought a bear!
Meme-destined quote of the week either comes from Veronica (“everyone’s a winner in a bull market,” she purrs, casting her glance Archie’s way) or Betty (“I don’t want my darkness to overtake you,” she says, with impossible earnestness).Uh…Betty’s “I was so not ready” to Archie’s fireman role-play was what I thought everyone would fixate on.