A woman married her dog on live TV, but it's fun and not creepy, we think?
Aux Features This Morning
The United Kingdom is going through tough times. Boris Johnson, a straw-haired charlatan whom Donald Trump called “Britain Trump,” has become prime minister via a long series of compounding national blunders, and the threat of a no-deal Brexit looms larger than ever. The U.S. women’s national soccer team put England’s best hope for a soccer world title in the trash. Piers Morgan still roams the streets with impunity.
So, on the one hand, we feel compelled to cut our friends across the Atlantic some slack. On the other hand? They got ladies marrying dogs on morning TV shows over there.
This clip comes from ITV’s This Morning, which is sort of like The Today Show if The Today Show had people marrying dogs. The bride is named Elizabeth Hoad, who said she’s suffered through four failed engagements. The groom is Logan, a golden retriever who we don’t have to tell you is a very good boy. The two walked down the aisle to a live rendition of Paul Anka’s “Puppy Love” from a former X-Factor contestant, the wedding was officiated by a Big Brother contestant, and the best man was a Love Island winner. (British reality TV, it should be noted, has long since surpassed its American counterparts in absolute freakshow shit.)
There is, we must say, a lot to like here. The dog, of course, is wonderful, and looks absolutely stunning in that tuxedo. His wedding band is a great touch, too. The dog puns are solid, and many kudos to Elizabeth for rescuing Logan from an abusive home. All of this does not change the fact, however, that this is still a lady marrying her dog on a morning show.
In all, our ruling is that this is slightly more charming than creepy, but watch yourself, Britain. Don’t push it. At the very least, this is certainly far less upsetting than that time everyone from The Today Show dressed up like Peanuts characters.
Woof.
51 Comments
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Well done white bitches you managed to prove the incels, of all people, right.
C’mon, back in ‘81 British TV spent a whole day covering a woman marrying a dog.
When reached for comment, the dog said “I just want a good bitch to settle down with”
She’ll fix him.
Welp… The fundamentalist Christians said that once we legalized gay marriage, it would only be a matter of time before people were marrying their pets. I thought they were crazy, but I guess they called it. Have we double-checked to make sure the Earth isn’t just 3,000 years old?
“This!”
Would this be the same Christian Fundies that overwhelmingly voted for a thrice married, serial adulterer and sexual predator who wants to fuck his own daughter?
Exactly. Right after gay marriage was legalized. The slippery slope got them too!
The very same Christian Fundies that support and voted for noted pedophile and serial sexual abuser, Roy Moore.
cheated on the first one with the second one
We still haven’t gotten to box turtles. Yet.
“Lady marries dog after four failed engagements.” ALMOST beat Hemingway.
Four failed engagements – that’s unspeakable tragedy, comedy, or both. Normal circumstances can’t cause that for a woman under 80.
Uh…consent?
Bingo! This is super gross and NOT comparable to some dinks dressing up in weird/bad costumes. And the further jokes here are making me feel icky inside.
I’m pretty sure the imaginary reasons why you think this is ‘super gross’ that you’ve made up in your head are far, far worse than anything that will actually happen between this woman who married her own dog.
Uh… it’s a fucking dog? Did you want it to sign a release? Get a blood test?Approve of the registry at Target? Who gives a shit?
Uh…it’s a fucking joke?
Fair enough. I still need to know if the dog had any say about the registry, though.
Well he’s a male so I doubt itThank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week
This is the Air Bud porn parody nobody asked for.
Speak for yourself!
[Guy in a powdered wig holds up an original copy of the Magna Carta] “There’s nothing in Ye Olde Rule Booke that says a dog can’t legally marry a human being.”
As long as the cupboards are full of peanut butter they’ll both be happy.
Not sure who’s worse: you for making that comment or me for laughing at it.
Doesn’t matter who’s worse. We’re all going to hell.
the lady who married a dog
The bride is a very hot gal, so this is either a shameless publicity stunt, or a sad case of mental sickness. Shame on British men for not helping her timely.
You’re either being very kind or need new eyeballs.
Jesus fucking christ. I nominate you as worse than this segment, which is in fact horrifying.
Just so they don’t show the wedding night.
Welcome to Trump’s America’s Britain. Thanks Obama!
If that dog could talk it would have been five failed engagements.
I mean, a lot of people remain in sexless marriages.There’s no sex, right?
No, she was spayed as a teenager.
I mean the police will be asking that also
So we can expect a huge wave of Furries immigrating to Britain then?
At the Reception guests had a choice of either fish or Snausages.
That dog has no idea what is going on. All he knows is that if he does the trick, she will give him a bone.
I think he gives her the bone, but I haven’t kept up to date with this sort of thing.
I mean, how low can you go from here?
The man walking the bride down the aisle is TV presenter Eamonn Holmes, one of Alan Partridge’s friends. This explains all you need to know about This Morning.
I miss the old days of television before people married dogs. Things were so much better then. You know, when someone’s mother was a car.
Oh my giddy aunt!
Four failed engagements says it all. Four guys ran for the hills from this one.
Honeymoon on Porn Hub.
There is absolutely nothing “creepy” about this in any way.
“Marriage” never explicitly has to imply sexuality or even attraction.Marriage is a mutual living agreement. Nothing more, nothing less.
This is fucked up and offensive on so many levels, as are most of the comments in this thread.
It’s always a golden retriever!I realize now that I’ve spent… exactly the right amount of time exploring the darkest corners of the internet.