AMC thinks, somehow, Zoom meetings would feel good in a place like this
We come to this place for meetings. We come to Zoom Rooms at AMC to laugh, to cry, to tell our co-workers that they’re on mute
Aux News AMC
AMC Theatres, the governing body that named Nicole Kidman president of movies, announced earlier today that some AMCs would soon play host to Zoom rooms, offering the equipment necessary to hold 75 to 150-person gatherings. This means that “as hybrid work” becomes more common, companies will be able to bring their “decentralized workforces and customer bases” to movie theaters for their big meetings. “This combines the excellent experience of Zoom with the comfort and state-of-the-art sight and sound technology of AMC’s modern and centrally located theatres,” the company touts.
It’s about time someone figured out how to turn movie theaters into a weird co-working space. And, boy howdy, does it sound great? Who doesn’t look forward to commuting to their local AMC for a meeting that could have been an email or, at the very least, a quick Zoom meeting from home?
Upon launch, Zoom Rooms at AMC users will be able to easily book online, and in so doing can select their preferred theatres and meeting time. They will receive a three-hour block of time to virtually host their event across multiple markets at the selected theatres. AMC and Zoom will provide the necessary equipment for a fully functional Zoom Rooms experience, in the comfort of multiple movie theatres in multiple cities simultaneously. Typical auditorium sizes are expected to range between 75 and 150 seats, depending upon the theatre.
Theatergoers, which AMC now refers to as “users” to impress their new tech buddies, will also have the opportunity of enjoying a flatbread pizza, nachos, and a “Bavarian Legend Pretzel” as their boss lays them off. But don’t worry because somehow, heartbreak feels good in a place like this because theoretical “Zoom Rooms at AMC users” also have the option for possible movie viewings. AMC Theatres, they make meetings better.
25 Comments
I’m sad to learn that AMC has been hurt so deeply financially by lockdown that they’re resorting to other sources of revenue.
Maybe Musk will buy them. He’s really good at acquiring companies.
1) Cut the number of screens
2) Show only second-run movies3) Make concessions self-serve, charge for bathroom access.
4) Double all prices.
5) Profit???6) Bitch on Musk Twitter that no one is going to see movies in theatres any more because of sinister forces working against him.
…for him to poop on!!!
They will receive a three-hour block of time to virtually host their event across multiple markets at the selected theatres. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but Zoom is letting me know we only have five minutes left to wrap up this enormous meeting.”
Taking all bets on how long it takes for someone to film a porno in one of these.
I’ll take 10:00 this morning.
Zack and Miri Make a Scrum Meeting
One year ago today The SPR3 released “No Room” and it’s STILL not reasonable to go to the movies. Stay home and stay safe, everybody!
Zoom rooms —> “Zoom Rooms” 75 to 150-person gatherings —> 75- to 150-person gatherings that “as hybrid work” becomes more common —> only quoting those three words — especially just to paraphrase the original “has become more commonplace” as “becomes more common” — is completely fucking daft in every wayboy howdy, does it sound great? —> boy howdy, does it sound great. (not a question, no matter how much it looks like one) AMC Theatres, they make meetings better. —> I cannot believe anyone could type this and then say, “Yeah, that looks good. That’s how language works. Nothing wrong here”Matt Schimkowitz has clearly “quiet quit” his A.V. Club job and this is his form of protest or something. Which is cool and all, but we the readers suffer because of it, and that’s wrong.Try, Matt Schimkowitz. Try even though you don’t care about your job and you’re writing about the most banal shit imaginable. Try, like Sean O’Neal before you. He wasn’t always funny but you could tell he tried. You can, too. Do it for us
this is not a form of quiet protest. its a form of loud being shitty at your job.
My eyes couldn’t BE more rolled up in my head.
How is “does it sound great?” not allowed to be question? If the writer wants it to be a rhetorical question, it’s a rhetorical question.“AMC Theatres, they make meetings better.” Clearly just a sarcastic comment in the form of a slogan. Do you get mad at slogans? (I suppose you might be annoying enough to do so.)As for your other corrections, *wank wank*But let’s say all your criticisms are valid. On the one hand, his writing is not up to the standards of your annoying self-appointed mandate, yet on the other hand, you’re a shitty person. I’ll take a shitty writer over a shitty person any day of the week. If you don’t like the writing, do what well adjusted people do and just go the fuck away. It’s unfortunate how many people who see themselves as trying to improve a place actively make it worse.
boy howdy, —> literally any other expression than “boy howdy”
Grasping at straws is no longer confined to the AMC concessions counters.
Nicole Kidman president of moviesSo, is Vin Diesel, like, CEO, or…
Meh, sounds fine to me. Certainly better than like a WeWork.
Okay, cover the floor with big pillows, hand out the psychedelic mushrooms, turn on the Tangerine dream, and let’s get this meeting started!
I mean, let’s be realistic here: AMC is hemorrhaging cash and the C-suite has (probably) recognized that most people don’t want to spend $12 for a ticket to see yet another superhero movie. They asked for some “brainstorming” over the course of a million meetings, and Zoom Rooms are the “best| thing that they could all agree on.Mix into the fact that their financials also compel Zoom to make a(ny) licensing deal, this will work on paper. AMC stock is up a smidge after hours with this announcement. Task failed successfully?
yeah the specific ‘zoom’ of it all is very funny. we use microsoft teams at my work so this is a non-starter either way.
This sounds great. I could sit at home in my comfortable, reasonably clean space, or I could go to my comfortable, reasonably clean office, OR I could go to a gross movie theater, to a seat with all of the bodily fluids on it, and a floor that my shoes stick to, to breathe in the air of 100 of my closest coworkers. Definitely the last one sounds the best.
*cough*
*can of lysol to the face*
“ARRRRGH!”
While the idea of doing an actual Zoom meeting sounds horrible, the actual concept of simultaneously streaming to multiple conference rooms at once isn’t actually terrible.Imagine stuff like a Ted Talk, or like a ComicCon panel, or other presentations that can be hosted not just at a single location, but also simulcast to other locations for people who can’t make it.