Armie Hammer apologizes for calling lingerie-clad woman "Ms. Cayman" in horny Instagram post
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Armie Hammer became the internet’s main character last week when some disturbing (and unverified) screengrabs of messages he allegedly sent went viral. In them, the sender declares themselves “100% a cannibal” while participating in fetishistic roleplay language that some experts say violated consent. Soon after, a number of Hammer’s exes emerged with allegations of inappropriate and nonconsensual behavior against the actor. “He did some things with me that I wasn’t comfortable with,” one ex, Courtney Vucekovich, told Page Six, adding that she “wasn’t safe” when with him.
Hammer’s secret Instagram account, @el_destructo_86, was discovered amidst the discourse, and, while it was filled with plenty of juvenile chatter about drugs and sex, one post in particular is causing uproar. “Well… my ex (for a very good reason) wife is refusing to come back to america with my children,” he wrote below a recent video tour of his hotel room at the Ritz Carlton in the Cayman Islands. “So I have to go back to Cayman… which sucks. Except there are a few silver linings. Like fucking Ms. Cayman again while I’m down there.” A lingerie-clad woman with her face obscured, presumably “Ms. Cayman,” sits on the hotel room’s bed on all fours.
This didn’t sit too well with the Miss Cayman Islands Universe Committee, which wants the world to know that the woman in the video is not the official Miss Cayman. Hammer, drowning in poster’s remorse, offered an apology to the Cayman Compass: “I would like to clarify that the person in my video, which was stolen from my private Instagram, is not Miss Cayman. I am genuinely sorry for any confusion my foolish attempt at humor may have caused.”
His apology comes after the Committee took to its social channels to say it was “disturbed” by the video. “The role of Miss Cayman is in part, to serve as a role model to young Caymanian women,” the post reads. “The depiction of the woman in the video goes against all that our organisation stands for and the Committee is consequently requesting that Mr. Hammer immediately remove all references to Miss Cayman from his social media channels.”
“My deep sympathies to Miss Cayman, who I don’t know, and to the entire organization as I had no intentions of implying she was actually Miss Cayman,” Hammer continued.
Hammer, who we imagine won’t be posting anytime soon, decried what he calls “vicious and spurious online attacks” last week. He also dropped out of Shotgun Wedding, a Lionsgate feature in which he was to star alongside Jennifer Lopez. “I cannot in good conscience now leave my children for 4 months to shoot a film in the Dominican Republic,” he said in a statement.
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That pic is a blast from the past, so to speak. I’m amazed anyone else, even on the internet, even remembers that show.
“Trust me; I know what I’m doing…”
My favorite quote from the show is, “I’d like to fight you sometime.”
Remember the one where an Elvis impersonator was killing other Elvis impersonators by braining them with a gold-plated microphone?
“Why did you tell me the secret?”“Two reasons: you’re a woman, and you have a phone.”
40+ year olds with secret-instagrams remember it well.
I only learned about it and watched it on streaming a few years ago! I was born in ‘85 so I was too young, if it had survived in cable repeats it would have been right up my alley in the 90s. It was people talking about it here that made me seek it out, I believe.Did you know he did kind of a follow-up series in 2012, updated in craziness and extremity to compensate for how much more dark and violent TV overall had become since Sledge Hammer? It was called Bullet in the Face and it had Eddie Izzard in it!
“Every breath you take, every move you make… I’ll be watching you. That’s police talk.”
Angie Tribeca owes this classic a debt.
It’s edge of millennial pop culture and the AV Club. Getting a Sledgehammer reference beyond Peter Gabriel is just a Venn Diagram of two overlapping circles.
I would like to clarify that my relationship with Little Debbie is exactly what you assume it to be.
I know its taboo but me and my Aunt Jemima are consenting adults, don’t judge us. The fact that our neighbor Mrs Butterworth watches is also none of your business!
“I Can’t Believe It’s An Orgy!”
“I know its taboo but me and my Aunt Jemima are consenting adults, don’t judge us.”Consenting? Now I’m bored.
Don’t be ashamed to admit it – Mrs. Butterworth gets in on the action too, she doesn’t just watch.
Hey, if little Mr. Pillsbury didn’t like getting poked there, he wouldn’t giggle each time, right?
Gruesome and inappropriate?
My Things Armie Hammer is Gonna Apologize For This Week bingo card definitely did not have “besmirching the honor of a Caribbean island’s beauty queen” on it.
In further news, singer Billy Ocean has publicly apologized to a Carribean Queen for assuming that they share the same dream.
Billy Vera renews his 1987 pledge to subtract twenty years from his life, and fall down on his knees in order to kiss the ground that she walks on.
Has he apologized for pressuring a woman to get into his vehicle?
😂😂😂😂
This whole thing is rather amusing. I love hacks at the AVClub taking us along on this ride pretending that we’re all collectively concerned and horrified that some B list celeb likes weird kinky sex stuff. I also love the absolute shameless and stone cold slandering this site throws down – someone said she wasn’t comfortable with what he did and someone else claims she didn’t feel safe, and Collburn immediately converts that into claims of non-consensual activity. Like literal libel in one step. There’s no reason why someone can’t agree to something that later makes them uncomfortable and still have it be consensual. Dan Savage would even say that’s the cornerstone of a solid relationship.
“CARRIBEANQUEEN.
I was hoping for an older Caribbean Queen sketch reference:
Armie Hammer going completely off the rails during a bitter divorce is not something I want to take pleasure in, but here we are.
Marriage is obsolete. He played himself.
have your token ready for the “cancel culture” reference… 😀
That guy is weird.
Blood doesn’t taste good at all.
Lol, coward. My blood tastes fantastic.
You sure that’s not corn syrup?
He’s a patriot! ‘MURRICA!
You should check your blood sugar levels.
I’ll do it when I return to civilization, currently I’m in some cheap Chinese knock off of America called Korea. When I return to civilization where health care is free then I’ll look after myself.
mine tastes like type one diabetes 🙁
I may have that, my leg just gets numb from time to time. Again, with healthcare costing money here in Incheon, USA I shan’t go to the doctor’s.
I’m sorry about that, if you want to check on your own you can get some ketone strips from Walgreens or CVS and do a self-test. Just for your own knowledge. That was my first step.
Vampires are the hipster IPA craft beer snobs of the undead.
So are zombies the Pabst Blue Ribbon-chugging rednecks of the undead?
nah, they’re the meth addict ones ^^
It seems like he’s privately all sorts of crazy, but I’m looking forward to the publicaly crazy. Not in a cannibal hurting people way more like dressing stupid and spouting nonsense. An Anne Heche on the beach talking about aliens sorta benign thing.
*Lawrence Martin in traffic*
*Margot Kidder in traffic*
WINNING
As an old man over 40 who only recently got an Instagram account, where I post very boring pictures, I have to ask, who is the secret Instagram account for? Like he has a bunch of friends who want to see these posts about fucking and drugging and shit? Is that common?
Probably other rich kid weirdos like he is.
Likely. I could comprehend it if he was a 18-24 rich douchebag, but he’s 34! and a father!
He’s been a rich kid his whole life though so he probably never grew out of it.
Yeah, and that “daddy” stuff is 1,000% fuckin gross if you’re an actual daddy.The cannibal stuff on the other hand, is a New Thing to me, and I’d join his fan club were he sending lascivious DM’s about eating people’s brains.“Oh girl, I just wanna shamble through a graveyard, moaning and stumbling in my torn up clothes that are ripped in alllll the right places, til I sink my brown teeth into that skull. Awww yeah.”
Tina Belcher has entered the chat…
Really? I’m older than you and my secret Instagram is pretty wild. It’s filled with blurry pictures I take accidentally on the phone that I barely understand that the grandkids got me, on the account that I don’t remember I have, on the internet that I sent all that money to that nice Nigerian prince on. Isn’t that wild?
Don’t knock yourself dude, that pic you took of your thumb was high art!
Get Off My Lawn!*shakes cane specifically purchased for shaking at kids on lawn*
I desperately want to believe you’re an early Gen-X person but I just can’t quite bring myself to think of anybody from that era being acceptably aware…
I’m not much younger than you (33) and I’m not hip to the trends of today – don’t even own a single instagram – but I teach college kids, and they write papers about fake instagram accounts and stuff. It’s apparently a very big trend, where people make secret accounts so they can complain about their friends, enemies, exes, etc., to a select group of people. This seems to be the same thing, except being conducted by an older rich and famous man-child instead of a teenager.
if you’re a celebrity you’re basically obligated to have a front-facing public IG account, but if you want to use the platform to, say, hit on women who aren’t your wife or post pictures you don’t want the public to see you’ll need a separate one.he also seems to have some serious frat guy energy, so he probably NEEDS the validation of posting to his friends that he’s cool and does drugs and sex.
Came here to say this. It’s not common to exchange numbers anymore it’s always “What’s your Insta” now. Honestly I like it compared to just getting a number. So many times I can look at someone’s social media and pick up red flags that would have taken a few dates to pick up on. Like the fact they are married ect. ect.
This is Common:
I want to give you more stars.
“Like he has a bunch of friends who want to see these posts about fucking and drugging and shit?”Ever been around humans with penises?
Yes, people have alt-twitter accounts for all kinds of reasons. it’s a form of expression. people have them to explore kinks; closeted people have them to express their homosexuality; people with eating disorders have them to talk about their illness without stigma.
I think it’s common to have a “rinsta” (real instagram) and “finsta” (fake instagram account. Ironically, the rinsta is where all the curated, often performative shit goes, and the finsta is the private one where people just act like themselves for a select group of friends.
Disclaimer: Don’t use instagram myself, wouldn’t be surprised if the terms fell out of use a few years back due to the nature of slang.
Yes, and unfortunately, yes. Have a whippersnapper explain the terms finsta and rinsta to you.
I assume celebs use secret accounts to share with one another privately.
Im 43, my exact first thought, who the fk is he making those for??? Even If the answer is”himself” that’s incredibly ducked up and really…douchey?
As my Dad taught me:“The biggest difference between Men and Boys is the cost and size of their toys.” and“A man can have as many women as he can afford. For our family that’s generally One or None.”I’m disappointed in Arnie, to be sure, as I’d expect more from someone who portrayed a real American hero like the Lone Ranger (somewhat based on post- Civil War black US Marshal Bass Reeves, who used an Indian guide to help him find outlaws in “Indian Territory” – Oklahoma). Clayton Moore famously gave up alcohol and wild women because he took it upon himself to be a role model.Shame about Arnie, but the temptations of wealth and status get to some men.
I think people need to take a break from social media. And when I say “people”, I mean everyone.
There are people here? Oh, how the AV Club has changed.
wtf are people lol
I’m sorry Miss Cayman. I am sooo weeiirrd.
Has he apologized a million times?
“Sorry Ms. Cayman Oooh! I am for real.”
Never meant to eat your supple thighsSauteed crisp and served with shoestring friesI’m sorry Miss Cayman (What a great meaaal!)
He sounds like a creep and honestly kind of an idiot, but I’m laughing at “Then he ghosted me!” We’ve all been ghosted before, man and woman alike, it’s a dick move and not fun, but I’m not exactly calling myself a victim over it.
“Ms.” isn’t the same as “Miss.” This whole thing that beauty pageants do where they claim they’re all about providing young women positive role models is bullshit.
It’s like the old “I read Playboy for the articles.” Positive role models don’t need to be judged on how they look in a swimsuit. At least the Miss Cayman committee is honest enough to add “in part” before the “provide role models” language. I just wish they’d been honest enough to add that the other part is to provide Caymanian men of all ages something to masturbate to.
I agree with the part about role models not needing to look good in swimsuits, because a lot of that that can be genetic or based on socioeconomic class (hard to find time to work out, pay gym fees, get a trainer, and afford healthy food if you’re working multiple jobs that barely cover bills) and if a beauty pageant wants to claim that they are inspiring youth fitness, that is true to a degree, though there are plenty of bodybuilding competitions where you also have to stand around in a swimsuit but in this case they’re actually ripped from working out all day, and are judged on muscle not T&A. Not to insinuate that beauty queens don’t work hard to maintain their figures, just that I think bodybuilding competitions (while they can provide an unrealistic model of fitness) take a lot more work than whatever is expected of Ms. Universe Pageants.
On the other hand, I’m glad they have these competitions because typically the top finishers get scholarships to college and that can be lifechanging. One of my teachers in high school was Ms. New Hampshire and she wouldn’t have been able to afford college without winning that competition. I kind of lost my point, but I think it was that being a role model shouldn’t be looks based, though one has to admire their dedication to fitness while also hoping that kids don’t grow up seeing slender women in bikinis as the only ideal of beauty.
You’d get more stars for that speech if you’d delivered it wearing a sea-foam one-piece that accentuated your legs and decolletege.
How do you know I wasn’t wearing that when I typed it up? Only it was teal, not sea foam, thank you very much.
you don’t think Surely Wolfbeak is a positive role model?
Maeby, maybe not.
I don’t have much of an opinion on Armie Hammer (ignorance on my part, not callousness), but it’s interesting to see how various sources are talking about the texts. I’m not going to go into detail since this is my main account here, but as someone with an unwanted but unquestionably there violent fantasy who also holds strong feminist views in reality, I hope it starts dialogs on where exactly fetishes like these come from and the differences between roleplay and actual intent. Both to give voice/explanation to paraphilics who’ve always been ashamed to talk about it, and to get help for the extreme minority who actually are dangerous, like the Armin Meiwes’ of the world. S&M became almost vanilla over the years, why not the weirder shit? (not suggesting that erotic horror will or should ever be mainstream, just more understood)
From what kinky friends have told me, Hammer’s issue was that he didn’t follow the basic rules of consent, and that’s hugely damaging to people with paraphilias who respect their partners. This will bring on a flurry of basic fetish explainers but a big chunk of the population won’t read them, they’ll just point to this one famous person who was abusive about his cannibal fetish and condemn everyone who has one.
Yeah, I’m probably hoping for too much out of people’s willingness to be open-minded, especially after being exposed to someone taking it too far (and hey, I don’t blame anyone for rejecting the idea, a huge chunk of people are still struggling with the existence of gay people let alone violent roleplay). I do get a dark kick out of Armie and Armin both being part of the cannibal/Dolcett/etc. community, though. Funny coincidences there.
Dan Savage grants absolution to the average person but celebrities are not allowed to be sloppy-sexy.
You may not want to use the phrase “a huge chunk of people” in a sober discussion of this particular fetish.
There’s a merchant in Venice that would like a word with you…
dude needs to get off the sauce. Maybe switch over to pig’s blood, or tomato sauce with some iron additives. “Army, we love you… but you have a blood drinking problem and you need help.”
why not the wierder shit? Hmm, good question. S&M is rooted in expressing violence and fantasy within sexual contexts, ideally with consent. But, as we all know, there’s that undercurrent from the very beginning. A few years back, I was caught up in a relationship with a sexual sadist against my consent, and he saw fit to whip me with a fucking belt whilst I was in my underwear, in bed, about to go to sleep. you can imagine I was less than impressed… it wasn’t something I had ever thought about. physical flesh on flesh is healthy, the rest is nasty territory.
get that we’re all products of our upbringing and previous experiences, but what kind of upbringing leads to drinking blood? Like, a mother who didn’t know how to cook the meat? The medium rare steak wouldn’t listen to me!
why give that airtime except for the ultra-rich and slightly silly. maybe i’m not getting it.
I’m in recovery now for cocaine abuse, and a huge part of my drug use was tied into pursuing my fetishes while high.
Glad you’re in recovery! It really does take you over, and I think that’s my whole thing here: I don’t want this fetish, I’d like to do my business without imagining knives and mutilation, and if this spurs any further research into why paraphilias happen and if they can be reliably treated for those who don’t want them, all the better.
exactly, mine is one I don’t want either, and drugs were just my way on acting on them. they weren’t violent towards others but violent towards myself. but I do think we need a bigger conversation, I know we often say “fantasy is fantasy, don’t judge” but I don’t like my fantasy.
So glad to hear someone else say that, it’s hard to get a sense of perspective when you can’t openly discuss it outside of the community itself since it’s understandably hard to reconcile someone being a real-world pacifist and a fantasy sadist, or masochist as the case may be. (in fact, the responses in general have been extremely heartening, I was fully prepared to start a new account after this, lol)
Listen, if either you are Armie Hammer can only get off by thinking of literially drinking the blood of a companion, and doing other werid canninabl stuff—-I mean thats strange but you do you.The problem here is consesnt. And it seems like he did a very poor job of making sure the partner was also in to it.
To be clear, I’m not into that stuff myself, I have a different flavor of fucked-up, haha. But yeah, I hate that it only comes up in mainstream discussion when someone like Hammer puts it in a bad light.
as someone who has looked into a lot of what has come up, people are not kink or fetish shaming him. well, the people who don’t know much are. what’s on the surface are his kinks and fetishes being exposed. if you dig deeper, it’s rape, assault, abuse of all kinds, manipulation, underage girls, etc. the amount of women coming forward is staggering.
Or: it’s time for you to question your own sexual fetishes and whether they’re healthy or not
Weird. It’s obvious by his apology that he intended Ms. Cayman to be taken as it has been. However I just thought it was a nickname. Like, if I were in a sexual relationship with a lady from Idaho, I’d call her Ms. Idaho. Not a title given, but a nickname given.Anyway, it’s still pretty sad that this is what he is apologizing for, instead of all the other whack shit he done.
“Experts” on “fetishistic role play language”? This sounds like a rabbit hole I don’t want to delve.
“Rabbit holing” is a thing too.
I was watching hockey last night, and the announcer said “Philadelphia Icing.” I feel like that should be a sexual euphemism, like a Cleveland Steamer is one.Any ideas? Like maybe sticking a D battery that has been in the freezer up someone’s ass?
It’s when 2 guys go to a bathroom stall at Wells Fargo Center at half time and ice each other’s cakes for 6 minutes each.
But there is no halftime in hockey!
Now there is 😉
With that single line, you’ve just launched the premise for a Tom Hanks movie about a women’s hockey league circa WWII.
When it comes to Philadelphia Icing and hockey, there isn’t a half time, it is (w)hole time
People who are deeply immersed in the fetish have begun icing each other’s cakes at 76ers games—that’s the only way they can feel anything anymore.
Thirdtime?
Then it’s at the intermissions, and who does who switches at each intermission. Geez, do I have to think of everything here!?
“ . . . “Philadelphia Icing.” I feel like that should be a sexual euphemism,”Probably just pouring road slush over a cheesesteak.
It’s what goes on your TastyKake.
And if you’re from Philly, the only place a D battery goes is up Santa’s ass!
I spit.my coffee on this thanks
LMFAO!
“…which was stolen from my private Instagram…”If this was indeed from a “private” Instagram, then it was up to Armie to 1.) tell friends/family/whoever about it and 2.) to accept their request to follow him. After that, it’s out of his hands what his followers do with his posts. It might be unfortunate that he felt like his trust was betrayed, but nothing was stolen. This isn’t like someone hacked into his personal photos/videos, these were things he posted on a social media account.
Sad. Not sad what as to what he’s doing, more like sad that the media got a hold of it. Grown white males can’t seem to get their fuck on anymore without the media getting into it.
I don’t know what troubles Mr. Hammer is going through, but going to the Cayman Islands never sucks.
“My deep sympathies to Miss Cayman, who I don’t know, and to the entire organization as I had no intentions of implying she was actually Miss Cayman,” Hammer continued.Must be hard for a guy who represents the very model of American exceptionalism and manliness to act like a human being once in a while.
Let’s just say what we’re all thinking: for anyone more than casually aware of the types of (consensual) kink that are out there, the most embarrassing thing about this is that Armie had an account titled @el_destructo_86 . Even your run-of-the-mill edgelord has to cringe.
He should have used a cooler name, like “Carlos Danger”.
“Seth Redahmer” really makes me laugh. Thanks, Comedy Bang Bang!
Ron Mexico (Michael Vick’s nom de plume) is still my favorite.
@hammer_time
I was thrown for a minute because Joseph Mallozzi’s twitter is @BaronDestructo and I was worried I’d have to stop liking Dark Matter and Stargate
this reminds me of a Justin Timberlake song… I just.. can’t seem to remember the title, y’know? I know it, but I don’t know it. Like there’s a line drawn around the missing letters, so I can discern the general shape but not the details. Memory is funny like that.
but honestly? Do we really wanna give men like that any more time? If there’s one thing these boys enjoy, it’s watching their games unspool in real time from a safe place. guess that’s how they get real closure. and we should be so grateful for it.
might go read a book or something. I used to love reading.
Wow, 2021 is off to a hell of a start.
I don’t give a shit about the content of Amie Hammer fantasies. The only truly bad thing see is the apparent lack of a safeword.
Although there are quite easy ways to end sexting RPs that go too far. Stop texting.
safe word in Hammer world: no. oh fuck no please.
“Please, Hammer, don’t hurt me!” isn’t direct enough?
No. It’s an S+M roleplay, the only and only situation in which No doesn’t necessarily mean no. That’s the point of Safewords.
No may mean yes, but “elephant” means a hard No.
only works if they’re a non-vampiric mammal.
He pretty definitively proves that some people have way too damn much money.
To be fair, there are two of him.
Please, Hammer, don’t hurt ‘em.
Okay, yeah, great, but…is Armie Hammer a verified cannibal?
Press: “Armie Hammer is a legit cannibal!”Eli Roth: You don’t say? Do go on.
“while participating in fetishistic roleplay language that some experts say violated consent”
Either it did or didn’t. This isn’t something we need to consult “experts” for.
This shit is fine when Dan Savage talks about it but apparently inappropriate for celebrities.Weird prudes.
I’m sorry, but from now until the end of time I will now just associate Armie Hammer with the German cannibal from that episode of The IT Crowd and that’s all there is to it.
Maybe he was just hangry.
the thing that is most jarring is what a dork this guy is. nobody and i mean nobody wants to hear a friend talk nonstop about getting laid. you’re just like “we get it guy, you’re a sex-haver”. neeeerrrrrrd
So the takeaway is there’s a difference between Ms. Cayman and MISS Cayman? Too fucking funny.
Wait what’s this about drinking blood??
In other news the governor of Mississippi is demanding an apology from the band Mountain and the estate of the late Leslie West for implying that Mississippi is a monarchy and not (barely) a democracy.
Someone really should set up a betting website. “Predict the Next Celebrity Scandal”.Kinda like mad-libs…Select from a long list of celebritiesSelect from a long list of known and potential scandals throughout history(For extra credit) select the year and month you predict the scandal will hit the media headlines.Winners can get… I dunno… giveaways like t-shirts, mugs, etc (but not money).
Does such a website already exist? What do you guys thnk of this idea?
who the fuck is armie hammer and why should i care?
I could go for a Red Stripe myself.