Brian VanHooker of Mel Magazine, we salute you. You have gone where few would dare to tread. You have willingly looked for the monster in the closet, the fiend under the bed, the shadowy figure crouched behind the billowing curtains. You saw a nightmare, and walked up to it to find out what its whole deal was. You, Brian VanHoooker, saw the nightmare animatronics at Chuck E. Cheese, and somehow, you dared to ask, “what the hell?”
VanHooker is the writer behind Mel’s expansive new story, “An Oral History Of Those Creepy-Ass Chuck E. Cheese Robots,” which is exactly what it says on the tin. If your paths never crossed with Jasper T. Jowls or Pasqually P. Pieplate, here’s a little taste:
The piece, which is worth reading in full, gets into the origins of Chuck E. Cheese (“I said to myself, “I got it! They have Mickey Mouse, I can do Chuck E. Cheese, it’s sounds the same, see? Mick-ey-Mouse, Chuck-E.-Cheese.” So that’s where I got it from. And Nolan had a rat costume in his office, so it worked out.”) as well as the initial idea to use animatronics (also Disney-inspired). But it starts getting really good when VanHooker takes us through the great pizza wars of the 1980s, and the arrival of rival force Showbiz Pizza—and that battle leads to the decline of both businesses, which in turn leads to the creepiness, which is why we’re all here.
As they get older, they do the same thing as humans. When you’re born, you’re cute as hell, but as you get older, you just get creepier and creepier. With animatronics, it’s no different. They’re going to get creepier and creepier if you’re not keeping up with it. So if you go to a place like Billy Bob’s Wonderland where they’ve still got their show — man, I don’t know how they do it, but they got the creepiest show I’ve ever seen.
Things are falling apart and they let it rot anyway. The eyeballs are completely turned around in the head, the arms are hanging off. They wrapped duct tape around Billy Bob’s hand to keep it from falling off, and the duct tape is coming loose. The faces are so creepy it’s almost become art, you know?
We cannot do this wackadoo story justice. It’s worth the click-through, we promise.
17 Comments
Show-Biz pizza to me, forever in my heart.
came here to post this….the documentary has been done
Came here to post that. I think the whole thing is up on YouTube. It’s worth the watch.
Dear AV Club and all the Gizmodo sites,
I am begging you please to stop with the auto-play videos with sound. I have no idea how this is supposed to drive clicks or engagement or whatever when I can’t even see what’s making noise.
The owner is an idiot who assumes Web 3.0 is no different from Web 1.0, and adjusts the advertising accordingly.
Here’s a long form article if you want to avoid the video, but still want the sordid details.http://www.showbizpizza.com/info/history/history.html
Oh I read the article, it’s just a general complaint about the site.
Yeah, probably ain’t happening any time soon.https://theoutline.com/post/8145/deadspin-video-ads?utm_source=FB&zr=euicvbnn
If I have to hear the Muppets and J.K. Simmons try to sell me insurance one more damn time I’m gonna lose it. The internet was great before commercials
I wasn’t aware until recently that you could buy beer at Chuck E Cheese. And I guess that explains why there is a whole sub-genre of Chuck E Cheese fights at youtube.
This seems very much like Alabama
I didn’t watch the full 14.5 minutes of Chuck E Cheese brawls in that video, admittedly. However, I’d be willing to bet that no less than ⅓ of the incidents in that compilation are from my shit hole home state: South Carolina. More specifically, the Columbia location just a few miles from my house. I can recall at least 4 major donnybrooks at that place since 2017, all with accompanying video evidence and multiple criminal charges. That place is one of the most notorious spots in one of the rougher areas of my shitty little hometown.
My mom said beer was the only thing that made that place tolerable.My mom doesn’t drink beer.
“Nolan had a rat costume…”That was because he ordered a coyote costume and they sent him the wrong thing. Originally it was going to be “Coyote Pizza.”https://www.mashed.com/113919/untold-truth-chuck-e-cheeses/
I worked at Chuck E. Cheese in high school, ama.
Please take a few minutes out of your day to watch this. It’s incredible.