Last year, we told you about Romeo, a Sehuencas water frog whose utter inability to get laid threatened to spell the end of his entire species. Today, however, hope has reared its slimy, bug-eyed head: Romeo has a girlfriend.
Found in a Bolivian cloud forest approximately 10 years ago, experts feared that Romeo was the last frog of his kind. Since Sehuencas water frogs live to be about 15 years old, herpetologists were concerned Romeo would never get it on with anyone, and his species would be no more. An expedition earlier this year to the same cloud forest where Romeo was discovered, however, yielded an amazing find: five more Sehuencas water frogs, two of whom are female, and one of whom just might be catching feelings for Romeo. After clearing her for potential parasites, the female frog, Juliet, moved into Romeo’s tank, and Romeo, the horny old bastard, made his first mating call since 2017.
“Romeo has been really sweet to Juliet, following her around the aquarium and sacrificing his worm meals for her,” said the museum’s chief herpetologist Teresa Camacho Badani.
Make no mistake: this frog is ready to fuck.
Before meeting Juliet, Romeo’s situation was so pathetic that scientists at Bolivia’s Museo de Historia Natural Alcide d’Orbigny even created a Match.com profile for Romeo. “I tend to keep to myself and have the best nights just chilling at home, maybe binge-watching the waters around me,” Romeo’s profile read. “I do love food, though, and will throw a pair of pants on and get out of the house if there’s a worm or snail to be eaten!”
The awkward online dating phase of Romeo’s life is now over, and the Global Wildlife Conservation have set up a donation page where those who want to throw Romeo a few bucks to help celebrate him finally getting some action can do so. There are more hurdles to overcome, after all, namely that Romeo is still a big-time virgin who doesn’t have any clue what he’s doing between the sheets. Frogs, you see, do the nasty via a process called amplexus, a position in which the male frog holds the female until he can fertilize her eggs as she lays them. For some frogs, amplexus takes weeks or even months. So far, the longest Romeo has lasted is 15 minutes.
Don’t worry, Romeo, it happens to lots of frogs.
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15 Comments
But I heard fucking a frog would cure your AIDS.
You’re making things up again, Arnold.
*cautiously raises hand*
I’m afraid they’re not asking for volunteers, old bean.
That is not a bean and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t stare at it while addressing me!
Frogs, you see, do the nasty via a process called amplexus, a position in which the male frog holds the female until he can fertilize her eggs as she lays them. For some frogs, amplexus takes weeks or even months.I don’t care if she’s the Kate Upton of frogs. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
Put me in, coach! – Gordon.
This deserves many, many more upvotes.
The doctors really just want to see if they’ll fuck and then kill themselves.
I’m not some kind of creepy frog fucker, but $20 is $20.
Romeo is all of us….Okay, Romeo is some of us….Anyhoo, Godspeed Romeo.
TL;DR – If there’s hope for Romeo, there’s hope for all of us.
Excuse me but did you guys just assume their pronouns? Come on guys. Very hetero normative of you guys.
It’s all just a misunderstanding.He’s been exclusively swiping left on Ribbt.
What does Tucker Carlson have to do with this??