California theme parks are re-opening and they want guests to keep their mouths shut. Good luck with that.
Aux Features Universal Studios
The theme parks are re-opening in California, which recently changed its guidelines to allow for parks such as Disneyland and Universal Studios to begin accepting visitors as soon as April 1, with numerous safety restrictions in place. And while re-opening the parks at all right now still seems like a pretty kooky idea, LAist reports that the California Attraction And Parks Association has outlined a safety plan that includes such precautions as “mitigating the effects of shouting” on rides. That’s right: It’s time to bring back “scream inside your heart.” Last summer, the Fuji-Q Highland amusement park in Japan issued this haunting instruction to visitors in an effort to curb the spread of COVID-19. As anyone familiar with 2020 will tell you, screaming inside your heart is actually not very hard, but that’s not really the energy you want to take with you on a roller coaster (a point unwittingly proven by the park in its video of two masked employees silently riding a roller coaster).
Obviously it’s impossible to police what a person’s mouth does on a roller coaster. But the CAPA is implementing several other guidelines to create a safe environment, and if these theme parks have to be open and people have to visit them, at least some effort is being made? Parks are limiting capacity to 15 percent, requiring face masks to be worn at all times except in designated eating and drinking areas, and implementing spaced seating on rides and attractions. In addition, parks will only be open to California residents for the time being, and are requiring that guests attend in small groups with a maximum of 10 people per group or household, and that they remain in these groups for the duration of their visit. Honestly, sounds like a real blast. Can’t wait to get back out there.
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The Pandemic Rollercoaster:“Cases are going up!”“Shut things down!”“Case are going down!”“Open things up!”“Cases are going up!”“Shut things down!”“Case are going down!”“Open things up!”“Cases are going up!”“Shut things down!”“Case are going down!”“Open things up!”
And you dont even need fast pass to skip the 4 hr line!
You left out all the vomiting.
I didn’t. *wipes mouth*
capitalism’s infliction of human suffering for profit knows no bounds
This is pretty much word for word something a right wing radio host would say. Except at the end they’d find a way to blame Vice President Harris.
Costumed Disney characters in the park are already obliged to keep silent. There’s nothing wrong or unnerving about guests doing the same and leading to a quiet library-like atmosphere. They should also cut the piped-in music so everyone can relax and reflect. Maybe get some reading done while in lines.
I admire your perspective on this.
Good luck stopping my youngest from screaming at everything. And yelling. And squealing.
Kids don’t need a theme park to scream. The sounds of kids playing happily kn a playground is not too different from the sound of someone having a limb amputated without anesthesia.
Can I still shit my pants on a rollercoaster as long I don’t scream?
No.
I remember back in the beginning, they were wondering could the rona be spread through human waste. They said they found that there is little to no chance of contracting COVID through exposure to feces or urine. So you should be ok on that.
Not true. Several countries have put out PSAs against rimming because it can be passed through poo.
WTF does Canada know about anything?!
Anyway, dude said he wants to shit on a roller coaster; he didn’t say anything about licking assholes.
I have nothing to add. I just wanted to make a note that I live in a world where these words were written down in this order somewhere, and I think its newfound existence may prove someone’s PhD. thesis about probability.
Just get my name right in the footnotes.
Can I still shit my pants on a rollercoaster as long I don’t scream?
Yes.
Right. Americans, keeping their mouths shut.
After all, one of the big Republican Trumpian talking points is that we can trust ordinary citizens to make decisions to keep themselves and fellow citizens safe.You know, like how we don’t need traffic lights and stop signs, or drug laws.
“Scream Inside Your Heart” sounds like a song by one of those bands that wear tons of eyeliner & get busted for creeping on 15 year-old girls.
It sounds like a Bad News song. The track that comes after “Masturbike”.
I’m in Canada, and a friend of mine in the U.S. recently posted family vacation pics of the Harry Potter theme park on Instagram. No masks, in line-ups, pretty crowded rides. I commented, “Wow, they’re opening up down there, eh? Up here in Canada most of that stuff is still shut down.” He got super defensive about protocols and his rights and blah blah blah and then deleted the post.
Judge him more for going to Potter-land at all than going during the pandemic. I mean, sure he was doing something stupid and dangerous, but he was ALSO contributing to a bigot AND a *bad franchise*. Yeah. Harry Potter never deserved your love even before Rowling outed herself as a garbage person. Come at me….
wow you have such an edgy take about something unimportant
Well there’s a whole protection spell on that part of the park.Covidious Lungfluidmortis!
I can’t speak for Universal Studios, but Disney is taking mask-wearing very seriously and has plexiglas between every row/section of rides among other measures.Now, I understand that it’s still generally a bad idea to go to a theme park right now … and that’s why you shouldn’t post pictures if you do choose to travel.
Disney has been blessedly strict about these things.Reportedly, Somebody took their mask off during Carousel of Progress and they STOPPED THE SHOW to tell them to put it back on.
I went to Potterland the year it opened. It was exciting at first, but overall the attractions were a resounding “meh”.
Yes, because I’m very worried about viral transmission on an open air conveyance going 60mph.
I’d say there’s a small chance of someone’s spittle getting on you when they’re screaming. That would carry it and possibly get in your mouth, nose or eyes. If everyone’s mask stays in place eh probably fine.
It’s mostly the waiting in lines inside enclosed stations and queues, indoor shopping venues that will need strict adherence to attendance caps, the requirement to wear masks, and the general unwillingness of an unfortunate section of the population to do any of the above.
IF EVERYONE ELSE IN CALIFORNIA COULD ALSO KEEP THEIR MOUTH SHUT, I MIGHT GET BEHIND THIS
Oh, yeah … this is gonna go well.
I don’t think there are any rides at Disneyland scary enough to make me scream. I mean, maybe Splash Mountain?I’m not counting the time I was 9 years old and the 6 foot drops at Pirates of the Caribbean caught me completely by surprise.
I didn’t scream on Splash Mountain as a kid, but I did blackout during the drop.
From what I’ve read during the past few months, the risk of outdoor transmission seems to be surprisingly low. When you combine that with the parks limiting capacity and spacing out riders, I don’t think I’d be worried about being outdoors at a theme park. It’s the indoor, theater-style attractions and the indoor restaurants that I’d be much more concerned about.
title: ‘want guests to keep their mouth shut.’
quote: ‘includes such precautions as “mitigating the effects of shouting” on rides.’Note that this quotes doesn’t mention guests keeping their mouths shut. That’s because the linked “Responsible Reopening Plan” doesn’t mention guests keeping their mouths shut. The word “mouth” doesn’t appear even one on that page.There is enough actual bullshit on this subject that we don’t need to manufacture additional bullshit.