Chuck Norris rep slams Chuck Norris lookalike at Capitol riot: "Chuck is much more handsome"
Aux Features Chuck norris
There were a handful of entertainers at last week’s tragic storming of the United States Capitol, but for every Ariel Pink there seems to be a dastardly imposter or doppelganger. No, that was not the guy from Jamiroquai in the horned headdress, and how dare you.
The latest victim of celebrity impersonation is none other than Chuck Norris. While the dropkicking skills and questionable morality of Texas Ranger Sgt. Cordell Walker would have no doubt benefitted the ghouls who descended upon Washington, D.C., it turns out the guy in the below photo was nothing more than a no-name lookalike.
Norris representative Eric Kritzer confirmed as much in a statement to the Associated Press, explaining that Norris was in Texas with his family during the riots and, more importantly, “Chuck is much more handsome.” Norris himself—still somehow unverified on Twitter—took to social media to condemn the violence at the Capitol, although it’s worth noting that he has supported Donald Trump in the past—and that’s to say nothing of his very public homophobia.
Read Norris’ Twitter statement below, and judge for yourself who is truly the handsomest man.
Send Great Job, Internet tips to [email protected]
36 Comments
Norris himself—still somehow unverified on TwitterI would think that is a point of pride for him, as a way to show how little he gives a shit about twitter. As should we all.
In all fairness, being verified on Twitter is really random. You used to have to apply for it yourself, but nowadays it doesn’t matter.
So to be clear, Chuck Norris is still an asshole. He just isn’t a completely insane and stupid asshole
Like many of his fellow assholes, he’s completely for everything described, goes all in on all the conspiracies, but just believes this small group of people went a step too far, but they were still very well intentioned. Nobody supports a failed coup after the fact, but they’ll keep fantasizing about the one that works.
They use kid’s glove language with these insurrectionist supremacists. They call them “goofballs,” “jackasses,” “losers,” and at this point it honestly sounds more like playfully ribbing a fellow compatriot than anything else.
In Chuck Norris’ defense, he thought the insurrection was next week.
He’s old and was confused about the alerts on his phone like many old people.
Yup, he’s your stupid old school wingnut uncle who incessantly bitches about “Socialism!”
Boy, Trumpolytes have set the bar low. We really need voters to support a very small tax increase to fund an expedition for it as it is rumored to be somewhere in the Mariana Trench at the moment.
Which puts him in the top 30% or so of Republicans, according to recent polls!
The bar is set very low after the last four years.
To be fair, the Trump insurrection seems like something Norris would have participated in.
Coincidentally, “law and order” is what Chuck Norris calls his left and right legs.(I hate myself for posting a Chuck Norris Fact)
Don’t feel bad, a lot still hold up in a goofy way.
“Chuck Norris Facts” are the original “Alternative Facts.”
I’m enough of a LotR geek that at some point, I realized that most of the stories about Viggo Mortensen were essentially just Chuck Norris facts that happened to be true.* Thus, I hereby suggest that Chuck Norris facts be changed to Viggo Mortensen Facts, so that we can still enjoy them while associating them with something that was mainly relevant almost 20 years ago.**
*He really learned Elvish, he got a Haka as a departing king after filming, he was the best natural swordsman Bob Anderson ever trained, he really did swat that actual, real, sharp knife out of the air with his sword, etc.
**Yeah, yeah, I know, Green Book. But I can forgive him for that one.
The scene in the LOTR extras where Viggo and Bernard Hill receive the Haka is a real “cutting onions” moment.
Regardless of your thoughts on the film, if I had a chance to work with Mahershala Ali, I’d take it too.
Chuck Norris Facts were just Vin Diesel facts that caught on more.
He really did break his foot and stay in character.
wow, i had no idea. i would genuinely like to know more!
I get what Chuck was saying in his tweet, but it’s kind of hilarious when he says there’s no place for violence when every episode of Walker ends with the bad guys getting roundhouse kicked in the face.Though to be fair, there’s less violence in Walker than there is in, say, Hawaii Five-O.
Man now the words “law and order” are so loaded.
“Now”?
Trump’s continual use of it made it much worse.
They were always loaded, but time was, they were strong enough to carry a certain amount of weight, at least when deployed strategically. Kind of like a tentpole.A TENTPOLE!
Is it OK if I still like the show Law and Order?I mean, Briscoe was awesome.
I mean you don’t need my permission but I got kind of exhausted by SVU and moved over to true crime podcasts, which vary in tone.
Chuck Norris was asked by Twitter if he wanted to be “verified”, but he declined, stating that “no one keeps Chuck Norris in check”.
need maddox’s take on all this.
I don’t buy it. Not the imposter; I believe that was a look-alike. But I don’t buy for a second that Norris didn’t support every second of that sedition. He’s just covering his ass now that it’s over, and public opinion is clearly NOT in favor of it.
There is no room for violence of any kind in our society. *Except for all the violence inherent in preserving Law and Order
We, as a society, need to roundhouse kick violence of any kind out.
Chuck Norris doesn’t do push ups, he pushes the world down.
… and the Republicans want to keep it there. Peak resistance!
Chuck abhors violence….except when its inflicted by Walker Texas Ranger. On the bright side he didn’t sing his response.