Clerks 3 opens with My Chemical Romance's "Welcome To The Black Parade," apparently
Aux Features Trevor Fehrman
Kevin Smith is feeling nostalgic. On his plate is a Mallrats sequel, a potential reboot of Clerks: The Animated Series, and, of course, the long-gestating Clerks 3, which he’s rewritten after his first stab at the threequel fell apart. Now, as we reported last year, Clerks 3 is, like Jay And Silent Bob Reboot, going meta, with Dante (Brian O’Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) making a movie about their lives—one we imagine will look a lot like Smith’s own Clerks.
Smith took to his Instagram on Thursday to share that, after beginning the writing process in late December, he’s now wrapped up the first draft of the movie. He offered up the opening stage directions as proof, and shared a statement about how the heart attack he suffered a few years back factors into the script. He also confirms the return of Jay and Silent Bob, as well as Clerks 2 characters Elias (Trevor Fehrman) and Becky (Rosario Dawson). “[T]he premise of the flick allows anyone who was in Clerks or Clerks II to return in some capacity,” he adds, and we can’t wait to see the return of “Navy SEALs Guy.”
There’s not much to glean from the script itself thus far, except that it opens with Dante arriving at the Quick Stop pre-dawn. Underscoring it, apparently, is My Chemical Romance’s operatic “Welcome To The Black Parade,” a far cry from the Alice in Chains jam that set up the original. Will Dante be the “savior of the broken, the beaten and damned”? It’ll be a while before we find out so why not snap off a stick of Chewlies Gum and read Smith’s full caption below.
I started writing CLERKS III on December 28th and just finished the 101 page first draft last night! But the writing doesn’t begin when you start tapping the keys: I’ve been stirring this stew in my brain pan for awhile now. So when I sat down to put years of daydreaming into actual words, the typing part of the writing process was pretty brisk. Fake New Jersey (or what I’ve long called the View Askewniverse) has been so much more preferable to visit than the real world lately – but I’ve told the tale I wanted to tell, so it’s time to step back, hand the script off to a trusted few, and then tinker further based on the feedback. For those keeping score anymore, this is actually Clerks III v.2. I had written a different version of Clerks III about 6 years back – one which I’m now very happy we never made (although I used the opening scene for @jayandsilentbob Reboot). This is a much more personal story than the previous incarnation, drawing directly on the heart attack that nearly killed me (3 years ago next month). It was oddly triggering writing those scenes, as it was the first time in awhile I contemplated how close I came to shuffling lose this mortal coil. But far more than make me mindful of my own mortality, this script to Clerks III makes me laugh out loud. Dante, Randal, Elias, Becky, Jay and Silent Bob are all back, and the premise of the flick allows anyone who was in Clerks or Clerks II to return in some capacity. After a bummer of a 2020, this is how I want to spend some of 2021: at @quickstopgroceries in New Jersey where it all began, with friends and family. And when we finally roll cameras on Clerks III, I will know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I *am* supposed to be there that day!
72 Comments
WHEN I WAS
A YOUNG BOY
MY FATHERgot mad when he caught me watching Dogma on Comedy Central
Haha I had this happen to me with High Fidelity- we were watching the movie with him asleep, and he happened to wake up at the moment when John Cusack imagines his ex having sex with Tim Robbins- he thought it was some Baldwin/Basinger-style sex scene.
Yup, I got in trouble with my teacher for showing a VHS copy of Clerks in my high school (that’s how old I am).Something about the “37″ scene just rubbed him the wrong way.
You should have pled a Velvet Underground reference defense and state the “37″ is related to this gem (posting the Big Star version cause I love it and I push that band like a Jehovah Witness)
Lemme know if you ever need helping spreading the word about that band.
There’s dozens of us…DOZENS! Also:
I have to admit that I bought the Big Star albums entirely on the recommendations of other people, and the only album that I bought on other people’s recommendations that disappointed me more was Wilco’s Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. I listened to Big Star twice, and the CD has been gathering dust for 20 years, Wilco I only listened to once.Don’t fall for the Big Star propaganda, people!
Ignore this madman, people! He’s probably a Led Zep fan or even worse a Prog rock fan! He’s insane!I also didn’t like the Wilco album, but as a huge Replacements and Badfinger fan I love Big Star. As the bassist in my old band used to say “They’re so fucking poignant!”
Kevin Smith isn’t nearly hip enough to know or care about Big Star. Dude is the bard of the most mediocre bits of barely-left-of-the-dial pop culture. The parts of it that cater to dudes, anyway.
I dunno…that first Clerks album was pretty good and had bands like COC, Bad Religion, Golden Smog…those aren’t exactly just left of the dial bands per se.
Man, I live in such a bubble. Most of my friends love Big Star that I forget they are not as well known as they should be. (Not trying to play the cool hipster here, just that I’m an old who was around in the mid-80s when the got rediscovered.)
Like a lot of folks I learned about them through The Replacements. I also had a CD of “Punk and New Wave” from one of those Time Life things in the very early 90’s that had “Thank You Friends” on it and that was the start for me. But yeah…a lot less people than you’d think know who they are.
My math teach in 7th grade (1984-ish) had a record player in the classroom that he would use when we were taking tests or working problems. Sometimes he let students bring in records to play; he was a pretty cool teacher. One day, a girl in my class brought in the Violent Femmes self-titled debut album, which was fine until “Add It Up” started. We didn’t get to bring in records anymore after that.
I performed that scene in high school drama, with the swear words replaced and got an F. Apparently the swearing wasn’t the only objectionable part.Also did “Is this your homework Larry?” as a monologue, with the swear words replaced. Beat a metal chair rather than a car. Got credit for that one.
Got credit for that one.Well, that’s what happens when you find a stranger in the alps.
Clearly the problem is that he was “36.”
I worked with an 18 year old girl who was brought up super xtian. She was allowed to watch any Kevin Smith movie, except Dogma. Her church didn’t like that one.
Call me very cautiously optimistic about a new Clerks animated series. The original was better than both the movies.
I’m actually surprised it’s taken this long to reboot the animated series.
It’s taken this long to come up with a second quotable joke.
It’s taken this long to come up with a second quotable joke.Why are we walking like this?
I’m just gonna take my shirt off…
GET OUT OF HERE
Because THE WEED OF CRIME BEARS BITTER FRUIT YOU OLD HAGThese are for you. 💐
Nothing can kill the Grimace.
Why are we walking like this?
I think there were a lot of rights issues at playDon’t do business with Harvey Weinstein and/or Disney.
Yep. A follow-up to “Mallrats” in either movie or streaming-TV form has been hung up because the rights to it was a big ol’ tangled mess.
had a lot to do with the other people they hired.
If a streaming service like Netflix picks it up, I can see getting Smith’s original, curse word happy version finally getting made. The question is was the fact that they couldn’t be ‘crude’ on ABC what led to it being so damned funny?
And that is a good question indeed.
Well played, “Clerks: TAS”.
I have to admit that I liked the animated series. Of course, it was stupid and generally a waste of time I should have spent doing something much more constructive, but that was it’s appeal.Just tell me when it airs and I’ll set the DVR—I’ll have to watch it after my wife goes to bed, like I do for my semiannual re-watch of Pulp Fiction.
Is it bad that I completely forgot that Clerks II existed?
I guess a rewrite will be in order if he can’t get the music rights!
I can almost guarantee that this was chosen due to the fact that Kevin is good friends with Gerard Way and could get the rights fairly easily.
Kevin Smith is feeling nostalgic out of ideas.FIFY.
Looking at IMDB, it’s been 14 years since Clerks 2; the gap between 1 and 2 was 12 years. I’m not even a huge fan of Smith, but I’d love if he pumped one of these out every dozen years or so; it’d be like the vulgar auteur version of 7up or Boyhood.
RIP Apted.
Back when he did Clerks 2 he half-joked about making another one every decade or so as a way to deal with where his life was at at the time. Clerks was about being trapped working in that store, Clerks 2 was about the fears he’d had about being a father. The original version of Clerks 3 would have probably simply been about getting older, but now it’s going to be about, well, you read the article. You know.He’s not an amazing filmmaker, but his best stuff always comes from a personal place. So I’m really looking forward to this.
Generous of you to assume someone in the comments read the article (I did). I haven’t trucked with his movies in a decade, but I liked the change towards projects like Red State. I’m always in favor of directors who go in whatever direction their heart takes them, though I’d say one of Smith’s weaknesses is conflating what he thinks his fans want with what he wants.
or yoga hosers that was really goodobviously joking
I’d say one of Smith’s weaknesses is conflating what he thinks his fans want with what he wants.To be fair, for a while that worked out pretty well for him.
I don’t know about that one chief
Seen a set of keys around here?
I don’t really understand the second half of Kevin Smith’s career. Like who is he making these movies for? Critics hate them, audiences hate them, they’re not financially successful, and all but the most die-hard of his fans have checked out at this point. He says he just likes hanging around with his friends but why does he need to film it? Is his friend group incapable of assembling outside of the rigid structure of a film set that they’re being paid to show up to? Even Adam Sandler – who transparently uses his movies to not only get his friends paid but to send them on lavish vacations – tends to still make movies that at least some people enjoy watching and that netflix can use to sell subscriptions.Anyway, guess I’ll just shut up and wait for the inevitable D- reviews.
I know Kevin Smith’s track record as-of-late has been subpar at best, but I for one am cautiously optimistic that Clerks III could be surprisingly great.The meta film within a film / career retrospective homage element has a lot of potential here.But I loved Clerks II, so what do I know.
I like the radio version of it where it doesn’t repeat the opening verses. It kind of reminds me of an anime OP.
I feel like I’m not supposed to like that song but I really like that song.
it’s a good song
It’s an iconic song
I always thought Gerard Way looked like a young Rik Mayall in the video, which I enjoyed.
That’s how you know it’s good! Liking it requires little effort on your part.
I have shed any predisposition over whether I’m “supposed” to like Welcome To the Black Parade. We need more anthemic rock bands, and MCR was surprisingly good at putting out that kind of music.
Is anyone else suspicious that this AV Club article is written by Randall? (I didn’t check his last name but I assume it’s the guy from Clerks.)
Only if he wasn’t supposed to be here today.
I do not appreciate your ruse.
With Dante’s beard, no less.
I don’t trust Smith anymore, but the one thing that makes me cautiously optimistic is that Jeff Anderson back in it. Last script got trashed because he rejected it (apparently it was supposed to prominently feature Randall finding love and that just… doesn’t work for the character at all), so the fact that they took another stab makes me more keen on this entire thing.
I do feel better about it if he’s signed on.
Jeff’s signed on. It’s pretty much the only reason they’re making a third one at all at this point.
If it was any other director with Smith’s recent record of just making substandard sequel/reboot after another with bombs constantly then his own fans would probably be shouting “hack sellout”.
I’ll never pass up a chance to hype Alex Lahey’s actually superior-to-the-original cover of this song.
I always get My Chemical Romance confused with That Petrol Emotion.
But, which version?
Given Smith’s track record lately I can’t wait to see if he can keep digging after hitting rock bottom!
By “lately” I assume you mean “the last 20 years.”
True. I guess I was just thinking of recent stuff but it really has been a slow decline for him for a long time now.
Clerks 2 was a masterpiece compared to shit like Yoga Hosers or Jay & Bob Reboot, though. I actually do hope he can make another good movie, or least something watchable, but maybe he was just too ‘90s to make sense outside of that cultural decade. Like Alice in Chains and Soul Asylum and whoever else’s music was in Clerks.
Well yes, but that doesn’t mean Clerks 2 was good. In fact, it was quite shit too!
One of the most disappointing things for me coming out of the indie film rise of the 90’s was that Kevin Smith never became a better filmmaker. He is hit or miss with his scripts but he, at the time, at least had an interesting voice.
Almost every film he has made has made the same mistakes, incredulous dialogue, inexperienced actors, and the same simplistic directing style that he has had from day one.
Red State was his most ambitious and inventive film and had it had a larger budget, I think it could have been a truly great movie. Alas, no one saw it and he resigned himself to Tusk, Yoga Hosers, and a seemingly endless, tired rehash of his old properties destined to become a string of self-referential, self congratulating Not Another Kevin Smith Movies.
I hope he finds a role for his talentless daughter again, as well as Johnny Depp’s. That’s what clerks 3 needs!