Dennis Rodman's first TikTok video is equal parts charming, confusing

You probably know Dennis Rodman from one of his many iterations: defensive anchor on multiple legendary NBA teams, nWo member, star of some perplexing action films, Celebrity Apprentice contestant, and, most recently, cannabis cryptocurrency pitchman and good friend to North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. You maybe don’t know about TikTok, but the gist is this: It’s Vine, but with licensed music that’s ostensibly for making lip-synching videos but is usually used for, well, other purposes. Here, via Jack Kennedy, is what happens when you combine TikTok with its newest user, Dennis Rodman.

Yes, that’s a five-time NBA champion slapping away at what appear to be concepts that he, presumably, does not support, all to the sounds of Owl City’s “Fireflies.” Some of these make sense, such as Rodman boxing out the word “Shaq,” against whom Rodman played notably tenacious defense. LeBron James and Rodman’s careers never overlapped, but hey, this is Rodman’s TikTok, so “LeBron” gets slapped away with ease. Similarly, “hate,” “alcohol,” and “flopping” also have no place in what we’re guessing is Rodman’s home.

Less coherently, “TikTok” and “smartphones” face The Worm’s wrath, despite this being a TikTok video shot and edited on a smartphone. “Politics” also gets the ax, even though Rodman is, woof, possibly this country’s most accomplished active diplomat. In the end, the only thing Rodman has space for is “love.” Well, that and the music of Owl City.

It’s a good TikTok. Is it “Arnold Schwarzenegger chasing a small horse on a large bicycle” good? Of course not, but what is?