Dwayne Johnson has some notes for his wax figure
The Musee Grevin in Paris' stab at a wax Rock was, er, not the most accurate
Aux News Dwayne
Dwayne Johnson has gazed into the eyes of his own wax visage, and he doesn’t like what he sees.
Over the weekend, the Musee Grevin in Paris’ wax version of The Rock was loosed upon the world, and the world responded accordingly… mostly by pointing out how much Wax Rock looks like Mr. Clean, Vin Diesel, or any number of other bald, white men that are definitely not named Dwayne Johnson.
Now, at long last, Flesh Johnson has weighed in on the whole affair. In an Instagram post today, the actor reposted a video in which comedian James Andre Jefferson Jr. roasted the shit out of the statue (to use a technical term).
“You know Black ass Samoan The Rock? They turned the rock into a pebble,” Jefferson said among other insults. “It looks like The Rock ain’t never seen the sun a day in his life… You made The Rock look like David Beckham. It looks like The Rock is going to be a part of the royal family. Did y’all even Google him?”
“I knew my boy @jamesjeffersonj had this Rock wax statue in his roasting crosshairs,” Johnson replied in his post, before offering an artistic critique of his own: “For the record, I’m going to have my team reach out to our friends at Grevin Museum, in Paris France so we can work at ‘updating’ my wax figure here with some important details and improvements- starting with my skin color. And next time I’m in Paris, I’ll stop in and have a drink with myself”.
Still, even if the museum does make the suggested alterations, it’s hard to imagine this vision of The Rock ever resembling anything other than a pretty smug gym teacher or dad at the barbecue. It might just be better (if a little horrifying mid-process) to melt the whole thing down and start from scratch.
18 Comments
“mostly by pointing out how much Wax Rock looks like Mr. Clean, Vin Diesel, or any number of other bald, white men that are definitely not named Dwayne Johnson.”It totally looks like him even if it’s not dark enough.
I don’t know, those sharp cheekbones freak me out a little.
I think the head needs to be a little longer and narrower, the eyebrows are all wrong, and there’s something off about the mouth. It’s a bunch of little things, but you add them together and you get a guy who doesn’t look like the Rock.
How do you screw up The Rock’s eyebrows, it’s literally been one of his main things for almost 30 years. Probably #3 behind his muscles and his mic skills.
Looks like the Rock to me. I mean, my facial recognition is not fantastic, but if you showed me that sculpture and asked who it is, I’m pretty sure I’d know who it’s meant to be…
It might just be better (if a little horrifying mid-process) to melt the whole thing down and start from scratch.Can you smell what The Rock is cooking? Because it smells like a candle…
To be fair, that Nick Offerman wax figure next to it isn’t any better.
Comment of the year
“You made The Rock look like David Beckham.”He just called his own wax figure a candyass.
That’s not the Rock. That’s the guy who was faithfully transformed into the Scorpion King monster in The Mummy 2. See the dead eyes, the pale glossy skin, the wry grimace at being trapped for thousands of years? Talk about good casting!
If I had a nickel for all the times The Rock fell into the Uncanny Valley, I’d have two nickels.
…Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened more than once.
What are the chances the photo’s overexposed because it’s under a giant spotlight? Is it the black & blue dress all over again?
In the header photo there are two real people standing next to it under the same light- and he’s whiter than both of them
They’re not, the most basic level correction shows that
Flesh Johnson
Every time I see that picture, all I can think is, “Wow, Freddie Prinze Jr. got bald and swole. Must have been worried Buffy was going to ditch him for Angel or Spike.”
Dwayne ‘The Chalk’ Johnson