Come one, come all: It’s time to get your bids in for an evil occult soul-selling device on eBay
An item called The Vessel Of The Ritual Of Damnation is up for sale from a California tech non-profit
Aux Features eBay
It can be hard to find the perfect gift for the evil wizard in your life. What kind of present, after all, will excite someone who already owns dozens of black robes, golden chalices, goat skulls, and ritual daggers? Well, it turns out, eBay is currently offering the one item the Satanic priest in your life might not already have: A cursed artifact called The Vessel Of The Ritual Of Damnation.
The Vessel (also referred to as “A Sorcerors Lens”) is currently going for $13,333.33 USD, marked down from its original price of $66,666.66 and ships from California. Its condition is described as “used but absolutely capable of use.” As to what that use entails, the seller says “this extremely rare item was created for use in the Ritual Of Damnation, and it was used to place 3 irremovable marks on the lateral and medial muscle of the right eye.”
“The Ritual Of Damnation was a visible and permanent representation of [the participant’s] confirmation to serve the masters [sic] commands—forever,” the listing continues. This process, we’re told, was popular among “actors, actresses, and entertainers” from the ‘60s to ‘80s who wanted to sell their soul to the devil in exchange for a career and, it seems, needed a cool glass sculpture to make that happen. As for the Vessel’s quality, we’re assured that it “is hand-formed from materials that are cursed and its design allows the subject to view their master as they state the Vow Of Damnation.”
The Vessel has been certified, apparently, by “an engineer and a photo-optical technician to ascertain the veracity on the claims of its properties.” It was donated to the seller’s “research program which has produced a complete encyclopedia of celestial, atmospheric, and surface photographs that demonstrate and confirm the existence of an inhabited realm hiding in plain sight.”
Curious about how a company called Not 4 Profit Inc.—one whose eBay listing notes that sale proceeds go toward “programs that benefit students, seniors, education, and communities”—ended up with such a powerful item, Max Read dug into the item on his Substack and opened an enormous can of worms.
In short: He found that Not 4 Profit, which usually sells old computer accessories and electronics, is run by a man who goes by David Moriyama or, on his YouTube channel, August Day. After learning that Moriyama is big into both technology recycling and the occult, Read managed to get him on the phone for an interview.
Moriyama told Read that his “family is very ancient, very ancient,” explaining that he holds “the first surname on the planet” and that his family is “well known amongst history and legend.” As part of the work he does to honor this legacy, Moriyama started Not 4 Profit, which repurposes old laptops donated to his company and gives them to students. “It is simply the case that the anodyne computer-recycling nonprofit is also, at the same time, an occult-mysteries nonprofit,” Read writes. “And so it is perfectly natural for it to sell both the Vessel Of Damnation and an old Siemens laptop.”
As to how the Vessel itself ended up in Moriyama’s possession, he references his “friends within the Hollywood industry” and the evil device’s historic use as a magical way to help revitalize flagging careers by trading in a soul for new show business opportunities. Read linked to a (very entertaining) video about how that whole process works—and a visit to see the Vessel itself, packed away in an ammo crate and surrounded by Bibles—if you want to go further down this bizarre rabbit hole.
Once you’re done, if you’d like to spend a whole bunch of money on the thing, it’s still up for auction on eBay. Otherwise, check out more of the story on Max Read’s Substack.
[via Boing Boing]
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14 Comments
“The Ritual Of Damnation was a visible and permanent representation of [the participant’s] confirmation to serve the masters [sic] commands—forever,” the listing continues. This process, we’re told, was popular among “actors, actresses, and entertainers” from the ‘60s to ‘80s who wanted to sell their soul to the devil in exchange for a career…Yyyyyeahhh, I’m gonna need some evidence to back up the claim that multiple “actors, actresses, and entertainers” underwent this ritual, much less that it was “popular”.
Doesn’t anybody go to the crossroads at midnight any more? Or is that only for guitar players?
Isn’t that beard enough of a mark of the beast?
You’re thinking of Ted Cruz’s beard.(Seriously, it’s a normal-looking beard on a normal-looking man, but the combination is somehow cartoonishly evil-looking.)
Quite agree.
I’m going to have to take exception to Ted Cruz being a normal-looking man. The visual evidence is clear that he appears to have been removed from the kiln well before he was finished setting and the clay started to pool before it finally dried.
If you need to put irremovable marks on someone’s eye muscle, I can think of some cheaper things you could use.
Moriyama told Read that his “family is very ancient, very ancient,” explaining that he holds “the first surname on the planet”
I don’t want to give anyone here undue cause to doubt the veracity of this story but this seems unlikely to me. Moriyama is just Japanese for Mountain Forest (or Forest Mountain technically, though the former makes more syntactical sense to me). That’s got a suspect chance of being one of the first Japanese surnames, as most people’s names were just pulled from clans or nearby features or areas. There are plenty of mountain forests in Japan, but Moriyama doesn’t seem to be an especially common name. It’s also my understanding that Japanese surnames were not really a thing until the Meiji era, though if it was a clan or noble name, that could maybe technically be quite old while not being technically a surname. There was a Moriyama clan, apparently, though it wasn’t particularly big, noteworthy, or even old comparable to the rest of Japan.
It’s also my understanding that surnames in general are a relatively recent thing, which is why a lot of European ones are just named after jobs people were doing. So even if your last name is Stuart or something, it doesn’t necessarily denote that many centuries of family ancestry. A few hundred years is old, but not how I would define ancient.
Anyway, cool glass bowl I guess.
Curses! You’ve found the one hole in this story of the Hollywood devil bowl that eats souls!
My family can trace its lineage back to the first humans. In fact I can directly trace my ancestors back to the first mammals. Actually there is a single unbroken line of female DNA in my family that runs from my mother back to the first species on Earth that had males and females.
omg, I think we’re related
Now this is just absurd. If you’re descended from mammals, then why are there still mammals? QED.
Looks like the same kind of fancy late 70s glass ash tray all my aunts and uncles had before they quit smoking in the mid 80s.