Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg need to cage fight it out already
Twitter is threatening to sue Meta over the new Threads app, continuing Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg's social media spat
Aux News mark zuckerberg
We were promised physical violence, and instead, all we’ve gotten is tepid memes and litigation. The antagonism between Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk continues, but not in the form of a cage match, which could have been kind of funny to watch. Instead, the social media guys are sniping at each other on social media and threatening legal action, which is boring and played out. Oh well.
The drama, such as it is, has to do with Meta’s newly launched Threads app, a Twitter competitor connected to Instagram. Twitter is in what the kids might call its “flop era,” particularly following the recent “rate limit” issue, so Threads has arrived at just the right time to steal some of Twitter’s glory. Zuckerberg poked fun at the similarity between the two platforms—and rubbed salt in the wound of his rival, whose greatest ambition is apparently to be seen as a champion shitposter—by posting on Twitter for the first time in more than a decade. No caption or nothin’, just a simple “Spider-Man pointing at himself” meme to get the point across.
Well, no doubt that got the notoriously thin-skinned Musk riled. But it’s not just glory Threads is stealing from Twitter, in Musk’s eyes. In a letter obtained by Semafor, a Twitter lawyer accused Zuckerberg of “systematic, willful, and unlawful misappropriation of Twitter’s trade secrets and other intellectual property.” The company is threatening to sue Meta over intellectual property rights on the basis that Meta hired ex-Twitter employees who “had and continue to have access to Twitter’s trade secrets and other highly confidential information.” (Reminder: Musk has gotten rid of a whole bunch of people since taking over Twitter.)
“Competition is fine, cheating is not,” Musk declared on Twitter in the wake of his legal threat. He also warned the masses about jumping on another Zuckerberg bandwagon after Facebook and Instagram: “Any social media monopoly is despair,” he philosophized. He also made a rather shaky case for sticking with the bird app: “It is infinitely preferable to be attacked by strangers on Twitter, than indulge in the false happiness of hide-the-pain Instagram.”
We’ll see if Twitter actually goes ahead with a lawsuit against Threads, though it seems exceedingly unlikely. They never followed through on the cage match proposition, so clearly the billionaires can’t be trusted to see something through to the end. If they really wanted to earn loyalty for their respective apps, they should try doing so via feats of strength and gladiatorial battles. Then we’d really, really respect them—right everyone?
70 Comments
They’re just trying to figure out who’s going to top. If they hurt each other in the process, it’s a small win for democracy.
Where you woketards gonna crawl to when Zuck/Musk buy this blog?
We sure are in the timeline that got dropped off the changing table multiple times. There surely can’t be a dumber one in this infinite universe.
This is big deal in the basement dwellin woketard community!
COUNTERPOINT: Nah. It’d absolutely be two pasty billionaires dry humping each other. It would not be an actual, satisfying fight. In legitimately any sense of the word.SIDEBAR: The fact that this is even a remote possibility is fucking embarrassing.
It’s not at all a possibility. Neither has any intention of actually getting into a ring with the other. It’s posturing and attention-seeking, and the media/public is entirely ready to buy the lie.
So you are saying the solution is to kidnap both of them and drop them on an island and it runs off Thunderdome rules?
It’s the only way to be sure.
Thunderdome rules? Hell, Jigsaw needs to be in charge of the “cage match.”
I dunno if I’m okay with the possibility of either of them making it off that island alive.
Well, modified Thunderdome.
Neither of them can be considered “men,” and neither should leave.
Only if we have a lottery and the winner get to hunt them and then eat them.
No, the winner of the match has to fight benevolent, hyperintellient architect of the post-singularity simulation we all live in and psychic supersoldier prototype and Brazilian ju-jitsu practitioner John Carmack:
Only if there’s a big bomb scheduled to explode basically as soon as the helicopter dropping the two of them off is clear.
This. Watch Musk especially pull out at the last minute and claim that he was just joking. Like you said below, it’s just more of our dumb and sensationalist media trying to wring clicks and views out of the Elon Musk show.
COUNTERPOINT TO THE SIDEBAR: I don’t care, I want to see these two assholes embarrass themselves.
From what i have read, zuck is, at least somewhat, legit. and his style, bjj, is one of the better ones for overcoming a size disadvantage. also given what we have seen of musk’s discipline, im doubting that he can actually fight, so while the whole thing is silly, i will be somewhat interested in seeing what will likely be a fairly decisive submission.
Also, gravity is much stronger on Zuck’s home planet, so he is deceptively strong for his size.
Two pasty billionaires dry humping each other would get woketards good and hard if one of them was Soros!
The main danger if they fight, is that they may actually respect each other afterwards and decide to team up…
Getting a lot of use out of this one lately
ELON: I want to be the greatest meme lord.ALSO ELON: Wait, not like that.
You’re meant to create the memes, not become the memes.
Ugh. It’s clearly not going to happen. This is exactly the type of attention-getting dog-and-pony the oligarchic pulls to get peasants like us to pay attention to them.
One way of making it more difficult for your competitors to get ahold of your trade secrets is NOT firing 80% of your employees.
I would honestly love if Musk filed a lawsuit and was forced to explain what, exactly, was stolen from him. The man doesn’t code and has zero idea how the front-end or back-end work and has zero interest in learning about it, so every time he’s forced to get detailed about the tech it’s really funny because he’s so bad at BSing.
Especially since Threads is just Instagram, minus the focus on pictures, with the ability to link posts together and share other people’s posts. They’re not exactly splitting the atom over there at Facebook HQ.
For sure, none of these social media sites are actually doing anything new. Hell, the pitch for Twitter was that it was a “microblogging” site, aka they took the features from pre-existing blog editors and then added a character limit. I would love to see what ideas were supposedly stolen because you just know it’s something lame that already exists.
I’m sure there’s somewhere in the Twitter sale that stipulates he gets to call himself the inventor of social media or something equally ridiculous.
Kind of like how he’s the “founder” of Tesla, a company that already existed when he came on board.
For sure, these guys are all about titles and credit. Have a buddy who likewise works in tech, he once had a job where a non-coding “manager’s” title was the VP of “Continuing Improvement,” just a fake title where he wandered around telling cubical workers they were doing it wrong, and he was making like $250k a year. For some reason these companies have decided that Middle Managers are the most important employees, which is why it’s funny to see the recent reports of Reddit and Facebook “flattening” their workflow by firing a bunch of middle managers lol
Also Space-X if I recall
Threads was actually launched in 2019 as an Instagram companion app but it didn’t get any traction and was shut down in 2021, even after they made it more like Twitter in 2020. It was just redundant to Twitter at that point and lacked a lot of Twitter’s features. That just goes to show how bad Elon fucked up Twitter and has no clue what he is doing. Meta revived a previously dead app and in a few days got 70 million people desperately trying to find a Twitter alternative to join.
It’s wild that we are living in a world where people are actually rooting for Marc fucking Zuckerberg.
You don’t get to 500 million enemies without making a few friends.
Woketards are desperate basement dwelling losers like you who never accomplish anything so they have no choice
You could cut the sexual tension with a knife.
If Zucks could have a baby, Elon would have already hit that ass.
Or paid some significant fee to impregnate Zuck via artificial insemination, it seems the ole muskrat can’t stand at full attention anymore…
This is gonna end in Zuck’s favor because, importantly, the man knows when to step back and let his lawyers do their job, rather than getting out in front of them/in their way because personal ego demands it.
Also I wonder how many of those people that used to work for Twitter a) were among the masses laid off b) are waiting on Musk to PAY THE DAMN ARBITRATION FEES SO THEY CAN GO TO ARBITRATION
“It is infinitely preferable to be attacked by strangers”. Man, if that doesn’t just sum up his entire management philosophy at Twitter. I don’t say this often, but well put Elon.
How about we just put them in a cage, weld it shut, throw a tarp over it, and forget it exists.
It’s a victimless crime.
So about this “rate-limit issue.” It says he’s limiting people to 1,000 tweets per day? Are there truly people who tweet more than 1,000 times per day? That blows my mind. What are these people talking about?
It’s a viewing cap, not a posting cap. Though I’m not quite sure how it triggers, because I don’t know what qualifies as viewing a tweet. I tried to trigger it myself, but lost interest pretty quickly. It doesn’t seem to be just scrolling through the timeline, but it might be that I just didn’t scroll far enough to reach the limit. There’s also a good chance the code is fairly shitty and capricious so it might or might not work as purported every time.
What I’m learning is that it’s just a good thing I never got into Twitter in the first place.
It was tweets viewed not tweets made, but it was all typical Musk lies anyway. What was actually happening was the servers were buckling and Musk was making excuses as to why they had to throttle them down. He claimed it was because of AI data scraping, but data scraping doesn’t overload servers. They also weren’t tracking views, it was utterly random if tweets would load or not no matter who you were. This coincided with Musk making it so that you couldn’t view tweets unless you were logged in. People familiar with networking and code started running tests and quickly noticed that this broke the Twitter API. Basically, different parts of the application couldn’t communicate with each other. The “logged in” requirement cut them off from each other, because Twitter wasn’t built that way, and they kept making unanswered calls to each other, 20+ times per second. It was a self inflicted denial of service attack. The logged in requirement was quietly removed a couple days later. Presumably because they couldn’t figure out a way around it wrecking shit. It was also stupid to begin with, and removed a massive amount of utility of Twitter for both users and advertisers. That’s been Musk’s whole tenure though. Stupid idea after stupid idea that’s essentially destroyed Twitter.
Ohhhhhh. That makes a lot more sense. Not the technical jargon, obviously I don’t get all that, but in general. lol
So, basically, its like if I put up a few dozen security doors between departments in your office building, but lost the fucking keys for ‘em.
I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: Musk is what happens if you give a basement-dwelling neckbeard money and power. It’s the reason he’s god-emperor of the CHUDs: he gives them hope.
The only difference between Musk and the basement-dwellers marinating body pillows in their ejaculate is that Musk had the money to make his fantasies a reality.
The logged in requirement was quietly removed a couple days later.It’s still there, or did you mean it was removed in the API?
Whoever wins, we lose.
Came here to post this.
Conversely, whoever loses, we win.
Basement dwelling woketards never win jack shit. Born losers like your hero Bernie Panders
Honestly the Spider-Man tweet is easily the funniest thing Zuck has ever done.
Indeed. To the point where I am deeply skeptical that he did it – or at least that he thought of it.
“They never followed through on the cage match proposition, so clearly the billionaires can’t be trusted to see something through to the end.”It is only Musk who can’t be trusted. He is the one whose bluff constantly gets called.
Yeah, I don’t think it’s necessarily to Zuck’s credit that he would actually fight Musk, but I do think that he would absolutely be willing to set up and follow through on a match. It’s like Logan Paul challenging Mayweather, in that they’re both desperate to prove they’re not the joke everyone thinks they are, except of course that Musk is the complete opposite of Mayweather. Zuck’s ego is satiated in a very different way to Musk’s, and I think this match would really get him off.
I really wanted it to happen. Zuck legit trains in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and would’ve choked Musk the fuck out. Not that I want to root for any billionaire, but Musk has climbed to the top of my most hated prominent billionaire list over the last year of his amplifying and echoing the most hateful people online.
Zuckerberg is under 40 and at the very least pretends to care about his physical fitness. That’s more than enough to make him the clear favorite in a fight with a paunchy and bloated 52-year-old man.
Basement dwelling woketards are so excited about this bullshit!
You can’t fire employees en masse on a whim and then enforce non-compete clauses on them, especially in California. Musk is going to lose.
My God! The one ‘writer’ who gets the one ‘story’ that unites all the commenters is … Mary Kate Carr???
Is “cage fight it out” another way of saying “have rough sex with one another”, because that’s what I think is what they both truly want.
Another failed resentful actor that was shunned from Hollywood who has vowed to bring them down. Their only available option for revenge is becoming an extreme right winger.
A cage match is so pedestrian. I vote for the world’s first zero-g knife fight, in low earth orbit, in an inflatable habitat.
Two billionaire douchebags enter!Zero billionaire douchebags leave!
“It is infinitely preferable to be attacked by strangers on Twitter,
than indulge in the false happiness of hide-the-pain Instagram.”Ol’ Musky saying the quiet part loud again.
JUST FUCK ALREADY …