Eternals-director Chloé Zhao teaches fans about birds, bees ahead of Marvel’s first sex scene
For the Eternals sex scene, Zhao thought the physical act of lovemaking was essential
Aux News Chloé Zhao
Sex doesn’t really exist in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Most of us just assume that Tony Stark and Pepper Potts’ child from Avengers: Endgame was the product of banter-based copulation. Nevertheless, Oscar-winning director Chloé Zhao, armed with her Academy Award and a desire to present Eternals as a movie for serious people, aims to change that.
Eternals will be the first Marvel movie to depict the physical act of lovemaking. That’s right. Two main characters in the film will bump uglies, do the horizontal hustle, knock boots, give it a little of the old [wolf whistle][dog panting] [old timey car horn “owooga”]. Which is to say, there’ll be a brief, PG-13 sex scene in the movie that (as you can see, dear reader) we’re all mature enough to handle.
So, if you can stop snickering for a second, here’s what she had to say on the subject. Hey, quiet back there! This is important!
“From that moment to what you see on-screen there was definitely a lot of discussion about how to do it,” Zhao told IndieWire. “But I think the desire to do something different is a very natural desire for where Marvel Studios is right now. I think it’s like Westerns coming into the revisionist period of the ‘70s. I think it’s happening to superhero films — or at least we’re on the edge of that. And so these scenes just started to happen naturally.”
“For us to be able to show two people who love each other, not just emotionally and intellectually but also physically, and to have a sex scene that will be seen by a lot of people that shows their love and compassion and gentleness—I think it’s a really beautiful thing.”
Many expect Zhao to bring a naturalistic approach to superhero movies, notably Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige. Earlier this year, after seeing Eternals footage of the Earth’s natural splendor shot with a motion picture camera, Marvel Studios honcho reportedly bragged about the cinematography to Disney execs, like he had just seen the Lumières brothers’ The Arrival Of A Train (albeit sans the screaming).
“And I had to keep saying, ‘This is right out of a camera; there’s no VFX work to this at all!’” Feige said. “Because it was a beautiful sunset, with perfect waves and mist coming up from the shore on this giant cliffside — really impressive stuff.”
Since we don’t know which characters, you know, get down with a bit of hanky panky, we can only assume one of them is a CGI character and that one of those hilarious superhero movies without special effects videos is on the way.
117 Comments
HULK SMASH
Indeed, Hulk fucks. Where do you think Skaar and Hiro-Kala came from?There’s also his daughter Lyra but she was a test tube baby conceived by Thundra swiping DNA from Banner.
Ah yes, I was told that was a specific…gif that would be relevant to this very article.
And every one in a while, Hulk pass. Even Hulk have standards.
I look forward to outraged yelling by idiots who think that having to explain sex to their children is the worst thing that’s ever happened to them.
As long as nobody dies from radioactive semen we’re gold…
Every time I see that page the whole “screaming, raining, lasers” aesthetic just overwhelms everything else.
Didn’t the same thing happen with the Hulk and his wife at one point
No, the Abomination infected Betty with tainted blood.
Was that how it originally went or a retcon? I swear I remember Bruce blaming himself
Yep it was a retcon. Eventually Nightmare brings her back (But not before sexually assaulting her in order for her to conceive a child. It’s best to pretend it never happened since it’s never really mentioned outside of the reveal.), she inexplicably becomes Red She-Hulk, loses that form, and than becomes Harpy again.
Oh that’s nice. Was that PAD’s idea too? I remember reading that he decided to end his Hulk run by killing Betty off because he was depressed over breaking up with his own girlfriend.
No Peter David had nothing to do with that. Apparently he was going through a tough time with his divorce and that’s why he killed off Betty. He regretted it later. No the Nightmare stuff was from during the whole “Mr. Blue” era that reads like a goddamn fever dream.
The best three panels in all of comics history.
That’ll only happen if it’s Phastos and his husband. If it’s Sersi and Dane, them no one’s going to be thinking of the children.
It’s Kingo and that weird hairless Deviant. Why do you think Kumail got in such good shape?
Kids love the Eternals! You’ve ruined…uh… I want to say Mercury? And the blond one! Are they the group with the dog?!? How dare you!
Listen I want my kid to learn about sex the way God intended. Finding a box of water damaged porno mags in the forest
Neither here nor there, but was there some sort of silent compact amongst all of the men of the baby boom generation that they would only ever dispose of their old skin mags by dumping them in a wooded park or empty lot for the neighborhood kids to discover? Because it’s a cliche but it’s also something that literally happened to me (and as a 13 year old I offered a prayer of thanks to what briefly seemed to be a benevolent god) and a huge number of my peers.
It’s such a weird shared experience among Gen X and early Millennials. My friends and I once theorized that it was just one man doing it across the country, a sort of Johnny Porno-seed planting dirty magazine for preteen youths to find in the forests, train tracks and alleys across this great nation.
Mine was at the very bottom of an apartment building stairwell, in the dark, underneath the last flight of stairs. I delivered newspapers to the complex. It was actually my brother who found the mags and I think he was also using it as a hiding place for his butterfly knives or whatever. I’m pretty sure it was the stash of someone in the apartment who was trying to hide it from their partner. I think people also used to ditch this stuff in the woods because they didn’t want the neighbors, kids or garbage men to find it in the cans in front of their house.
We found our porn on our high school’s Ecology Bus, which was literally an old repainted school bus where people could bring newspapers and magazines and glass for recycling. This was in the early 80s before recycling went somewhat mainstream.
Mine were in a trash barrel at a nearby park, but glad to know there are others.
I found water-damaged 8mm porno movies in my Dad’s footlocker from when he was in the Navy, Nilus.Is that close?
Recently, when moving, I found a 20+ year old stash of filth. I couldn’t bring myself to just throw it in the recycling, so I went and found a thickly wooded area deep in a park, where I left the box. I don’t know if kids today are quite as appreciative, but always pay it forward.
I found a stash while helping to clean out my grandfather’s house after he died, then my aunt caught me with it in the laundry room (luckily I was just looking at it, not actively looking at it). Which, now that I type that out, explains a lot.
This doesn’t sound like the kind of movie young children would enjoy anyway.
That sounds like it could be a bit of a problem for an MCU film since its whole raison d’etre is to sell tickets and merchandise and make as much money as possible.
“I had to explain to my kids that Jeremy Renner has a penis! No one should have to know that!”
Try explaining that Renner’s is actually a sentient being; not just some figment of our collective imagination.
Have you ever had to explain sex to a six-year-old?
Yes; in fact we started explaining the basics of sex to our children when they were each five years old. We kept it age-appropriate (there’s only so much they can grok at that age) but there’s no reason to treat it like a creepy taboo.Have you?
Yes. Also taught my son the very basics at about the same age, for similar reasons and so it wouldn’t come out of nowhere when he did learn.
He got about half of it. A third.
(Working at an elementary school, I also see how rare that is and how many grades 4s & 5s don’t know much when taking sex ed.)But the idea that people do it for pleasure or not just when trying to make babies is a bit of an advanced lesson. Because it’s probably not a copulation scene.
a bit of an advanced lessonBy the same token, smaller children won’t really understand what they’re seeing, and it doesn’t take much effort to explain that it’s a thing grownups sometimes do and they don’t have to worry about it.The only actual problem here is that some people have been (incorrectly) taught that sex is a dirty taboo, and it makes them scared and nervous to talk about it. We should not be catering to those people.
Yes.
No thanks, I lived through the 80s already.
They should do it when they feel it’s time.
It’s what happens when the films a country watches are mostly sexless films for kids who could stand with a little more education in their lives.
My folks raised me without explaining a damned thing. Look how well I turned out.
You’ve barely committed any sex crimes this year! I’m so proud of you!
I think it’s great they’re going to give The Blob his very own sex scene.
But, nothing moves the Blob.
Was there not one in the first IronMan? Or does that not count?
Depends on how you define it. And, also, Paramount was behind that film so that may be why it doesn’t count.
The scene of Tony getting molested by a panda in extreme close-up for 45 minutes was cut from the theatrical release but is on the criterion edition
I played the Panda. AMA.
Does RDJ smell good?
Not that end.
Not with a couple of bamboo reeds shoved up his nostrils.
“reeking of panda love”
Was that chocolate sauce?
A1 steak sauce and chewed up bits of Twizzlers.
If we’re counting the Netflix shows, nothing will ever beat Luke and Misty getting it on in the first episode of Luke Cage. That was properly hot stuff.As for Iron Man, I think it cut straight to the morning after, with Tony nowhere to be found, and his date being woken by his robot then evicted by his PA. He was a fairly shitty person at the start, is my point.
No, we are not counting that.
He wasn’t that much better at the end, either. A better man would have reset the timeline to negate the snap ever happening regardless of the personal cost for starters and that’s even before we tackle the other things he did along the way.
He wouldn’t have even had to pay that cost if he’d just phrased the infinity stone wish right. Highlight child, Ctrl+C, Ctrl+Z, Ctrl+V. Simple.
Negating the snap would kill all the children born post-Snap, as well as erasing five years of art and culture, and undoing the survivors’ lives over the same period (including Bruce’s progress on Smart Hulk, and the formation of New Asgard). There’s really no “right” way to restore the Snapped.
But it was also a choice to advance things five years in Endgame rather than keep it to a matter of weeks.
I believe their is a few seconds of on the bed making out with a lady in her panties and a shirt. Very tame by any regards but probably the sexiest scene in the entire MCU at this point. Probably the sexiest any woman has gotten to be in the franchise outside maybe that scene in Iron Man 2 where Natasha is changing in the back of Happy’s Limo.
Natasha changing in the limo is not a sex scene, it’s just Happy (and by extension, us) non-consensually ogling her.
I did not consent to non-consensually ogling Black Widow!
Luke and Jessica breaking the bed was pretty fucking great too.
To be fair, during that morning after scene Tony was only known as “I run, man.”
And his assistant calling her yesterdays trash.
Which was before the studio was bought by Disney.
It’s a PG-13 scene. It will be two people in the dark kissing. Maybe the guy will be shirtless. It’s hardly showing the “act of love making”Call me when we see some genitalia. Or better yet, give me a tasteful PG-13 “sex” scene featuring the gay couple.
Ahhh, to be back in the 80’s where PG13 usually meant at least full frontal
My example of such oddity is the fact that that movie has a pair boobs across the scene at one point and it’s rated PG. That was when the rating board actually considers non-sexual nudity to not be something that would damage children’s minds, I guess. By the end of the 80s, side boob would get you an R rating. Also fun to look at the double standard of all the traditional action movies of the 90s getting PG-13 rating but the Wachoskis’ put their main characters in black leather and they get an R rating for the Matrix. Seriously compare the Matrix to any other PG-13 action movie of the era and the only difference is color pallet.
I know. It’s not fair that the youths of today can no longer go to a PG movie and see some gratuitous nudity. Now they just have to have an internet connection
Or have access to HBO (presumably standing for Her Boobies Out)
Back in the day Cinemax was the one you wanted. I always heard HBO stood for “Hey! Beastmaster is on!”
I imagine its also the number of police/ security guards being shot…
Just watched The Matrix last night for the first time in over a decade and yeah, absolutely no reason for that to be an R. The gun violence is maybe a hair more intense than that year’s Bond movie. (I was surprised to see Resurrections recently received an R as well.)
I think there’s 3 f-bombs in The Matrix which is an automatic R rating. That’s basically it.
Nope, it was totally PG-13 on the language front as well. I kind of wonder if the film was produced with a more accessible rating in mind and Warner simply decided that an R-rated action movie was more marketable at that time.
I rewatched True Lies a while back and found that one to be similarly pretty tame, action-wise, and that one did have characters tossing off just enough Effers to get to the R. Jamie Lee Curtis has one emphatic swear that heightens a little speech she gives, but otherwise it’s just incidental stuff that feels like it’s there entirely to get the rating.
Terminator 2 sorta falls into the PG-13 but R category too, couple of swears. However, I think the Terminator tearing his skin off might have pushed to the R as well. But when it’s on TeeVee all they do is bleep some of the language, even the eyeball coffee machine T-1000 kill is intact. Ditto with the hand bit. (I think there’s actually some sort of rating thing where if it’s robot or monster violence it doesn’t get an R)
It’s almost like these movies are primarily made for kids and not horny internet hipsters.
I’m just going to dial the first 9 numbers now so that I’m ready.
Who is the first MCU character to go full Monty! Well, honestly, it’s gonna be in Deadpool 3. So that answers that.
give me a tasteful PG-13 “sex” scene featuring the gay couple.I’m betting that is what this will be. We know Phastos is openly gay. The article has a clear lack of pronouns. The MCU gay representation of a random dude in therapy doesn’t cut it. The first MCU sex scene will be a gay one.
I highly doubt it will be. They want the movie to play in overseas in countries that censor LGTBQ+ content harshly. They may be skimming the line with Phastos in it at all but a sex scene with him and his Husband would just drop the ban hammer in China and other places. I am almost 100% sure this is Gemma Chan and Richard Madden going at it.
Is the first “openly heterosexual” couple in Marvel? I wanna see it all!
No thanks, I’d rather watch that guy on Pornhub who does calculus lectures.This is not a euphemism
If you want a euphemism I’ll give you one.
It…might be? The bisexual energy in the MCU is crazy strong. I might stay Bruce and Natasha, but I’m not sure she’s all the way straight.
I’m picturing it now: two characters push their beds together, lie down, and then hold hands. Moments later, one of them quips “Well, THAT just happened…”
I’m pretty sure that exact gag happened in WandaVision
Hulk hate puny banter…based copulation!
Didn’t Tony Stark seduce a lady in the first Iron Man?
“Maturity” has nothing to do with it. What a snotty, arrogant way of putting it.
Dudes in the comments lining up to bestow juvenile sex puns.No. Don’t tell us you’re being ‘meta’. You’re just being basic.
bASSic
Perfect. Also, “Who are the immature man children commenting on a Marvel movie?” is kind of a perplexing question. The easy answer is “the core audience.”
There’s no way it will ever beat Deadpool’s sex montage.
“happy womans lib day!”
“For the Eternals sex scene, Zhao thought the physical act of lovemaking was essential”I had to reread that sentence like three times before I understood that it wasn’t telling me that the actors had literal, unsimulated, on-camera intercourse for the sake of magical realism.
Well Thena & Kro do have have kids.https://comicvine.gamespot.com/ritter-twins/4005-72119/
Well that rules them out for having a sex scene… HEYOOOO!
Let’s hope this starts a trend. I can’t be the only one who’s been waiting for a film where Thor brings down the hammer.
…Iron Man shows us how he really got his name.
Aside from the fact that I’m a weirdo who finds most sex scenes in movies tedious and unnecessary filler, I’m really not really even sure what they could accomplish under the PG-13 rating anyway. So it seems potentially extra pointless. I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt, I guess, but I’ve always assumed that the primary motive of having sex scenes in films was an excuse to get actresses stripped down since they very rarely contribute to story in a meaningful way
I’m kinda with you. Back in the day, before porn was two clicks away and before everyone knew everyone else regularly used it, seeing Natasha Kinski in Cat People or whatever had its purpose. Nowadays, I can see that and much, much, MUCH more any time I choose.
Didn’t Tony Stark sleep with that journalist in Iron Man? I know that was before they locked down the MCU formula but it sure as hell is still canon.
Marvel movies are basically kids movies. Like Star Wars and other Disney movies. They’re there to entertain kids aged 8-12 who buy the T-shirts, backpacks, reader books, toys, lunch boxes, and more. Sex scenes have to be handled very carefully, because you can’t be certain of the maturity level of the kids watching.
Ant-Man shows a wee bit of Scott/Hope smooching, but only in service of a punchline. Guardians is probably the series that has pulled up closest to sexual explicitness. That whole scene of Ego explaining his search for a mate, with helpful dioramas forming to illustrate the point, and Drax’s whole line of penis-related questioning. Plus references to Quill’s pelvic sorcery, alien conquests, and his Jackson Pollock-esque levels of hedonism.
Tbh, I’ve never seen a sex scene in a movie that wasn’t about sex (like all those erotic thrillers in the 80-s) that actually added anything at all. The movie still has to convince me it’s interesting. The “stakes” seem totally boring and the enemy’s couldn’t ben less inspired so far.
Please let us see Richard Madden’s arse again. Please let us see Richard Madden’s arse again. That is all.
Will they cheat? If it involves the Makkari character then it will be blink-and-you-missed-it. Uh-oh…
Talk about deviant sexual practices!
ScarJo was in the MCU, so many wasted opportunities.
First Disney Marvel movie. Iron Man showed Stark hooking up with a reporter in the first ten minutes or so of the film. Although my favorite “getting stuff past the radar” moment when it comes to sexual content was when James Gunn put a robot brothel in Guardians of the Galaxy 2.
I know the Netflix series have been largely disavowed, but Jessica Jones and Luke Cage banging was hot AF.
You can have all the Super-boner-shenanigans you want; just don’t call Taiwan a “country”.
Ha… tell that to Ben Barnes and Amber Rose Revah.