Fast X review: From Vin-tage to Vin-sanity
Vin Diesel reasserts himself as the heart and soul of the Fast and Furious franchise with this death- and logic-defying sequel
Film Reviews Hernan Joaquim De Almeida
What did we do to deserve Vin Diesel, that manly man of a vintage they haven’t been bottling since the heyday of Axl Rose’s first bandana? Vin’s tough but he’s tender. He puts women on the exact pedestal feminists thought they’d knocked over maybe 40 years ago. He’s loyal to his friends—the dead ones especially. And as he moves through the world as he knows it, powered by some unquantifiable mixture of ostentatious humility and laid-back self-love, he makes you believe that all the contradictions he embodies can be brought into balance with a crooked smile and the sound of his Barry White baritone crooning, “I don’t have friends. I got family.”
Make no mistake: despite their increasingly hectic ensemble structure, Vin Diesel is the entire organizing principle of the Fast & Furious movies—if they can even be said to have one. In Fast X, he isn’t onscreen overmuch, but when he’s not there the others talk about “Dom” the way Nathaniel Hawthorne’s parsons talked about God. What’s he doing? What should we do to please him? What would he do if he were me? It must be psychologically exhausting to be Dom Toretto’s friend.
That’s especially true in Fast X, where the villain’s sole purpose is to get revenge on Dom by knocking off enough of his “family” to make Dom suffer grievously before he gets popped too. The villain in question is a way-over-the-top Jason Momoa as Dante Reyes, psychotic son of Fast Five villain Hernan (Joaquim de Almeida), and heir to not much of anything. Dom and company wiped Hernan out when they memorably stole his hotel-sized vault in Buenos Aires by dragging it away behind their cars. Dom then used it to bash the man and his mercenary armies to death on a freeway that does not exist, in a scene that arguably launched the demented lunacy phase of the Fast franchise, and which is recapitulated here both in flashback and in a new variation involving a rolling neutron bomb.
Momoa is introduced in a couple of cutaways as a background character in all that Fast Five mishegoss and placed inside one of the anonymous vehicles Dom slaughtered, where Dante barely survived. Dante lost his dad, so Dom and him? Well, it’s personal.
About Momoa: He is not a solid enough performer to overact exactly, but he’s overdoing, well, something (and scenes of him attempting ballet and painting the nails of a corpse raise the uncomfortable prospect that “something” is homophobia). Coming out of the press screening, one audience member cried out joyfully that Momoa’s performance was “so absurd, it’s awesome,” and that is a way of looking at it, one supposes.
You get why Momoa would try to magnify whatever it is he thinks he’s emphasizing because the entire franchise is a hectic mess, albeit a beloved one. What started as a relatively plausible action flick set in the world of street racing expanded to become an Ocean’s 11 heist movie (Fast Five); then a Mission Impossible-style espionage action franchise (Fasts 6 thru 9), populated by comic book villains with names like “Cipher.” From around four movies in, every new development in this crazy franchise has been exponential: the recurring cast is around 30 actors deep, and the action scenes stopped trying to be CGI-plausible at least three movies ago.
These are blue-collar Bond movies now, scripted by your drunken uncle who is so impatient to get to the ’splosions and flying cars that he’s rushed past everything else to reach the “good stuff.” Gravity bends for Vin and his crew the way it obeys the commands of the flying sword fighters in a vintage Wuxia movie. So if you came for plausibility, you aren’t doing this movie right. You either go with it or you don’t.
But the focus inside the avalanche of stunts, asymmetrical plot elements, and mismatched genre tropes is still what Vin, and his alter ego Dom, would call “values.” Faith. Family. Honor. Loyalty. Because Dom is the last of a dying breed. He’s seen things a man shouldn’t had oughta seen, and done things a man shouldn’t had oughta done. He chuckles a lot when he’s with his family, but he rarely makes a joke and he almost never laughs. He’s in a grief state all the time, attentive to what’s missing, like a war veteran who’s lost too many comrades to the enemy, except Dom’s enemy is Life. And Diesel believes in Dom so hard that for two hours and 10 minutes, he makes you believe in him too.
No wonder Dwayne Johnson refused to come back for what we’re being told is an extended, multi-sequel last round-up for the Fast family. Johnson is inarguably the bigger star, but within a Fast film, there’s just no room for Dwayne and Vinnie’s self-love in even the widest of widescreen frames. The Rock is a modern action star after all—a charmer and a politician who never seems fully to buy into the imperatives of the action films he stars in; even as he punches a bad guy through a wall, he already seems like he’s going to reach over and help the guy up, and maybe ask for his vote in November. In Vinnie’s world there are rules—what used to be called a Code of Honor—and the first but unspoken rule is that, while everyone can be heroic, only one guy gets to be the Vinimitable, Vinvincible, VinDomitable hero.
The studio says Fast X is the first part in a franchise-ending storyline. But there is no other universe in which Vin Diesel can get paid $100 million dollars to grimace in front of green screens and spout aphorisms for about 40 minutes of screen time. End of the franchise? Don’t bet on it. Diesel has already intimated that the Fast movies might wrap up with a Fast XII. In one form or another, in whatever sequel closes this storyline down, something furious will this way come.
Fast X opens in theaters on May 19
60 Comments
Family. The movies. Family.
Let’s play the feud!
You never had me. You never had….YOUR FAMILY.
Diesel’s acting makes me want to curl up in a ball too.
Say what you will, but what other actor could deliver a line like “I live my life a quarter mile at a time” and keep a straight face?Plus:
Oh . . . kayyy . . .
Straight? That’s the gayest scene since Top Gun volleyball.
John Cena 100%, shit his beach full of dicks line from Suicide Squad destroy’s that Vin Diesel line.
well i’m happy this got such a bombastic review! my enthusiasm has definitely dampened since fate of the furious (because who can beat that title) but i’m still more excited to see this than something like indiana jones or transformers.not even a single mention of brie larson or alan richson!
not even a single mention of brie larson or alan richson!
Or any other actor besides Diesel and Momoa, or the plot (beyond the bare-bones Momoa-goes-after-Diesel-for-revenge) or the action or the set pieces or the location or, well, anything.That said, there are some good points in there about Dom himself.
would not be surprised if there was a ‘do not discuss the plot at all’ embargo haha.
Given that the average AV Club “review” these days is just plot summary with a brief personal opinion, this is refreshing.
I think Ray actually did cover the entire plot.
Well, granted, no one’s watching these movies for the plot.
not even a single mention of brie larson or alan richson!True, but if you want to get an idea of who they play, both are featured at the beginning of the movie’s final, very long trailer that dropped this week. (It’s 4 1/2 minutes long! Not sure if that’s the longest trailer ever, but I’m guessing it’s up there.) Looks like they hired Ritchson as a dual replacement for Hobbs as well as Mr. Nobody: he runs “the Agency,” but obviously has a Rock-like build. Brie Larson’s Tess works with him.There’s also no mention of, say, the long-awaited showdown between Shaw & Han. Or anything about its three Oscar winners: Dame Helen, Charlize, and EGOT winner Rita Moreno.OTOH if Tess meets Dom for the first time and asks, “Wait: aren’t you Groot?”, I will instantly lose my shit.
So, when are you actually going to review the movie?
Fast Family < Bobby Heenan Family
Are they better than the O’Doyle family though?
McPoyles or gtfo.
Ryan! Stab somebodayyyyhhh!
Wonder how this compares to other recent sequels? Of course they’re all ridiculous, but some entries (5, 6) are more elegant and have better stunts than others (9). I don’t like when they just coast on being a “Fast and Furious” movie; sometimes they transcend.
Sometimes they are quick and disquieting.
Well traditionally sequel X is when they go to space so it really depends on whether they do WWII space physics or real space physics. If the former it should be wicked cool. If the latter, well, expect a lot of really slow moving silent chases with not so much explosions as very brief bursts of flame.
they already went to space last movie bro.
Oh well then I think Hell is next in line.
Time Travel back to ancient Rome: Fast and the Fvrious: Chariot Drift
Yeah, I’m hoping for well executed stunts, not just bigger and stupider stunts.
“Vin Diesel reasserts himself as the heart and soul of the Fast and Furious franchise”Two questions.
1) Does this mean he had asserted himself as the heart and soul of the franchise at some previous point?
2) Does this mean that at some point after asserting himself as the heart and soul of the franchise, someone else asserted themselves as the heart and soul of the franchise?
Ooooo, the drama!
Dom Toretto’s favorite restaurant? The Olive Garden because when you’re there, you’re family!
Dom is the only guy that Olive Garden has denied the endless bread sticks deal due to his ability eat them endlessly.
*fambly
Dom Toretto only eats two meals…breakfastand break-furious
Dom and company wiped Hernan out when they memorably stole his hotel-sized vault in Buenos Aires by dragging it away behind their cars. Dom then used it to bash the man and his mercenary armies to death on a freeway that does not exist, in a scene that arguably launched the demented lunacy phase of the Fast franchiseProblems:“Fast Five” took place in Rio, not Buenos Aires, and since BsAs has no causeways, obviously no such freeway exists there – and btw the one shown does exist, just not in South America. (Like most of the movie’s location sequences, it was filmed in Puerto Rico or via bluescreen around a short section of the freeway.)If the “safe chase” sequence was the only over-the-top one in “Fast Five,” I think you could argue that it launched the franchise’s demented lunacy phase, but in its first 20 minutes or so, Dom, Brian & Mia help steal four insanely rare/expensive cars off of a moving train into the world-famous Brazilian desert (a.k.a. “Southern California,” considering rural Brazil is almost entirely jungle terrain), and – after the heist attempt goes wrong – they end up driving a vintage Vette off of a bridge into one of the Brazilian desert’s famous 1,000-foot-deep river gulches (a.k.a. an abandoned quarry in Atlanta later used again in “Furious 7″ for the scene with Brian dangling over a cliff on the villain’s bus after rescuing Ramsey).That’s especially true in Fast X, where the villain’s sole purpose is to get revenge on Dom by knocking off enough of his “family” to make Dom suffer grievously before he gets popped too.
This could be used to describe Deckard Shaw in “Furious 7″ as well, without a single alteration.
This feels like a perfect sponsorship opportunity for VinFast…
Not even AV Club wants to be associated with that trainwreck.
Exactly 0% of Fast Five takes place in Buenos Aires.
Was thinking just that while reading the review. Most of it took place in Rio…
Look, you can’t expect the A.V. Club’s current crop of writers to know that there’s more than one large city in South America.
At least they got the continent right..
Are you telling me the reviewer was so busy trying to concoct an argument that Jason Momoa is homophobic while casually being racist himself? Because that’d be so on brand for AV Club.
His name is Diesel and he dances in the sand . . .
Now I want to hear an album of him croaking out pop tunes in his husky monotone voice.
Why’d they hired Jason Mamoa to play the son of a Brazilian guy who was portrayed by a Portuguese actor?
Momoa is playing Joaquim de Almeida’s* son? I’m barely convinced they’re the same species.*AKA Latino Phil Hartman
Wait, that’s name of the guy who played the honeydick in Clear & Present Danger?Wait, he’s Portuguese?
*AKA Latino Phil HartmanNah, we’re not giving the Portuguese “Latino”, despite how much they cry about being technically Latino since Romance languages descend from Latin. He’s Iberian Phil Hartman at most!
No wonder Dwayne Johnson refused to come back for what we’re being told is an extended, multi-sequel last round-up for the Fast family.
Except he’s coming back.
Or he came back? Oh, was that a spoiler?!!
In Fast X,
he isn’t onscreen overmuch, but when he’s not there the others talk
about “Dom” the way Nathaniel Hawthorne’s parsons talked about God.
What’s he doing? What should we do to please him? What would he do if he
were me? It must be psychologically exhausting to be Dom Toretto’s
friend.
Dom returned to home planet.
Listen Ray, I know it’s not your problem as you’re just a contributor, but I’ve been following AV Club since it sprung up on The Onion website and lately it’s been nearly impossible to enjoy due to of all the pop-up ads. It feels like we’re in 2005 again and frankly it’s becoming unbearable. Any chance you know an admin that can do something about this? If not, there’s no way. I can continue to support this site if I literally can’t read the article. It’s getting worse than those click-bait ads at the bottom of your articles. Sending my best…
I’ve decided that if I have to pick a side in the Vin Diesel/Dwayne Johnson feud, I’d go with Diesel. They’re both insufferable and pretentious in their own way, but I think Diesel wants to be an actor and Johnson wants to be a star, and one of those I can respect more than the other.
Vin never punches down, seems to never have a bad thing to say against anyone, helped make a franchise that has had more diversity in its cast than most other huge blockbusters of its caliber, and is a giant nerd. Dwayne is not any of those things. He’s a real man. He can’t get knocked out. He’s a hustler, making a name of himself. He’s not some sissy ass loser lying on the ground, so whoever wrote that in the script better change it up so he’s sitting down instead!
oh i disagree about diesel not wanting to be a star (sort of). i think it’s the opposite – he already was a huge, dramatic, annoying star, and with the benefit of time he recognizes how good he has it with this franchise. as a result he takes it very seriously.
I miss that one deranged The Rock stan who would post his box office numbers and insist that he revitalized the franchise by coming on board for F5 (F5 being legit entertaining had nothing to do with its success, apparently). Ultimately, Diesel and Johnson’s exact brand of insufferable dickheadery means it’s no surprise that they were getting into pissing contests over who’s the coolest and nearly killing a billion dollar franchise.I couldn’t see either of them doing something like the subway fight in FF6 because they don’t “win”:
Rio de Janeiro is not Buenos Aires. Is not even in the same country or vicinity.
I know we’ve done Space, but I feel the next step should be the Moon,
Mars, space cars, spaceships. Time travel maybe. Then multiverse. Then all the other dimensions.
Is this true to the book? Because I need it to be true to the source material.
“Johnson is inarguably the bigger star” – tell that to the DCEU.“The Rock is a modern action star after all—a charmer and a politician who never seems fully to buy into the imperatives of the action films he stars in; even as he punches a bad guy through a wall, he already seems like he’s going to reach over and help the guy up, and maybe ask for his vote in November.”Dwayne is a shit talking piece of shit who doesn’t seem to have a genuine bone in his body. He really isn’t a good person, at all, and his morals are beyond questionable.
Err…did you not see the mid-credits scene?