Well, turns out Dave Grohl’s a biiiiiig pothead. A pot-of-coffee head!
The latest example of Foo Fighters’ decades-long refusal to take themselves overly seriously is a mock ad for FreshPotix, a treatment for coffee addicts like Grohl. (Grohl, a longtime coffee freak, first documented his ravenous appetite for joe in a 2010 video with Them Crooked Vultures.)
“My roast grew darker and darker until I finally hit pot bottom,” he says over shots of him snorting grounds and rolling coffee joints on the toilet. “I couldn’t be there for the ones I love when they needed me the most.” He describes bouts of sleep deprivation and nasty breath, the likes of which likely contributed to his ongoing feud with a 10-year old.
In a blunt-force parody of prescription medication ads that are 80% horrifying side effects, a peppy narrator goes on to warn of the “severe monkey peen,” “bald ass,” “peptic waltzing,” “weeping taint,” “nose chickens,” “back fro,” and “Pauly Shore” that afflicts some users. (And that’s just the beginning of the list, which also includes urges to “found your own colony” and “Tinselscrote,” a breakout of tinsel on your balls.)
Watch it below and, if you’re charmed, grab yourself a FreshPotix pen at the Foos’ online store.
That the Foos are palling around in the studio as COVID rages could signal that the band is recording new tunes. They could also just be trying, like the rest of us, to not spiral into oblivion as winter clouds gather in the grey sky.
Fuck it, we’re rewatching the “Learn To Fly” video.
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21 Comments
25 years after the death of Kurt Cobain former members of Nirvana still face issues with addiction. In the most middle aged way possible.
Gonna be honest, I kinda love the fact that Dave Grohl turned into grunge daddy.
all he needs is a Corey Taylor hat
“What a fucking pussy.”
David Lynch would also scoff at this.
Never a bad time to drop this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kL9Qhu_W18
That man is the key to a cure for Covid. Inject him with the virus and then wait a couple hours. You’ll have viable antibodies for vaccine production.
I’m not sure my body can vie with Keith’s antibodies. I might die from the cure.
At first I read this as Foo Fighters making fun of Dave Navarro’s caffeine addiction.
Honest question, does Caffeine really keep people up at night? I am a 20+ year addict to the stuff, so I realize I can’t tell anymore but I never remember a time that it kept me from sleep. In my youth I tried other stimulants that definitely kept me up all night and through the next day but caffeine never did that.
If I drink a cup of coffee I’m not sleeping for the next 8-10 hours, no matter what.
I injest so much caffeine that I only do it now to stave off the headaches. I can drink a 1 liter bottle of Coke Zero before bed and I sleep like a baby. My wife on the other hand has to stop drinking coffee/chocolate/whatever before 6 pm or it’s a long night for both of us.
Once upon a time I’d drink coffee all night while studying and go home and sleep like a baby. Now if I drink caffeine past 3pm I’m fucked for the night.
Any amount of caffeine can ruin my day if not careful. Even too much in the morning can keep me up later that night. Always was a mystery as to why I’m so sensitive to it until I was finally diagnosed with ADHD this year.
That made me think of this, a surprisingly moving and insightful story of the late Tom Petty’s coffee obsession: https://www.rollingstone.com/feature/tom-petty-death-biographer-warren-zanes-731414/
IS SOMEONE GETTING THE BESTTHE BESTTHE BESTTHE BESTOF BREW?
An email from Foo Fighters to ticketholders dated March 16 says:FOO FIGHTERS VAN TOUR 2020 APRIL DATES POSTPONED
Hi, this is Dave. Remember me? The guy who wouldn’t even postpone a show when my goddamn leg was falling off?
Well… playing a gig with a sock full of broken bones is one thing, but playing a show when YOUR health and safety is in jeopardy is another…
We fuckin’ love you guys. So let’s do this right and rain check shit. The album is done, and it’s fuckin’ killer. The lights and stage are in the trucks, ready to go. The SECOND we are given the go ahead, we’ll come tear shit up like we always do. Promise.[emphasis mine]
I unabashedly love Dave Grohl. He’s like a Snuggie that I can’t throw away. He’s punk, metal and dad bod at the same time. Who else pulls that off successfully and for as long as he has? He’s a national treasure, second only to Betty White. I will die on that hill.
Tinselscrote, it should be pointed out, is not the same affliction as Festicles. Tinselscrote only manifests the tinsel whereas Festicles has the tinsel and a comfortable amount of that fake snow that seeps through the skin, adding to the festive spirit of the disease.
now i know where all the Dads are
Extra toe and Oxford commas, lol.