Gene Simmons, bassist, consummate shithead, and a man so scummy and increasingly irrelevant he’s even been banned by Fox News, once appeared on Jeopardy! to celebrate Halloween by helping the late Alex Trebek put on KISS make-up, stick out his tongue, and flash the devil horns (no word on whether he paid Simmons for the use of that gesture with cash or credit). Now, though we ordinarily find it nearly impossible to listen to anything Simmons says, we’re happy to report some of his remembrances of Trebek, which are actually pretty great.
While speaking to Simmons about his new line of Gibson guitars and basses, Consequence Of Sound brought up his appearance on Jeopardy! and thoughts on Trebek. The most important insight Simmons has is that Trebek apparently “had a potty mouth” when “the cameras weren’t rolling.”
“We traded lots of, as they used to say in the 1800s, off-color jokes,” Simmons continues, strangely relegating a common term to a prior century. “ He was a funny guy and very kind and brave. I said, ‘You’re going to be putting on KISS makeup.’ [He said,] ‘Okay, let’s go.’”
Simmons also brought his usual “self-made man” bullshit into the conversation, saying that he and Trebek—guys born in Israel and Canada, respectively—are “both immigrants” who must have felt appreciation for there being “no limits to the heights you can achieve in America.” This isn’t possible “in Canada or Israel,” Simmons says. “You can only go so far.”
If there’s any takeaway from this, it’s not that Trebek sweared and enjoyed blue jokes when the cameras weren’t on. It’s that everybody, whether a normal, upstanding person or an animate hair clog like Simmons, loves Trebek. As The Demon himself himself puts it: “I haven’t heard anybody say a bad thing about [Trebek]. Lovely guy.”
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“no limits to the heights you can achieve in America.” This isn’t possible “in Canada or Israel,” Simmons says. “You can only go so far.”He’s not wrong. The best you can hope for in Canada is to become a floppy headed, beady eyed, puck slapping maple-sucker.
Anne Murray would like a word…
Anne Murray has a floppy head, beady eyes and I’m almost certain she sucks maple. I have no proof she slaps pucks but then, she was a gym teacher before she became famous so that is also very likely.
I never noticed her head.
The remaining members of Rush look around in anger…Also, the Kids in the Hall are going to crush your head.
Oh, you mean THESE floppy headed maple suckers?(RIP Neil)
You’ve got it wrong – that’s what we start out as. After that, the sky’s the limit, except in winter, when your front door’s the limit.
Are Canadians storming the Capitol Building? Achieve your pretty arse off, Pat.
No, they’re just storming the Maple Syrup refineries.ZING!
Glad you could put down your gun and your cheeseburger long enough to type this.
Hey, thats a BACON DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER.Tastes just like America—-just like Freedom!
I’m not sure that’s “great” because next thing you know Simmons will decide to describe the contents of those “off-color” jokes and if they are “bravely non-PC” then I really don’t want to know about it.
I can’t imagine any humorous jape, limerick or pun Trebek would have uttered could match the delightfully, scandalously ribald lyrics of “Lick It Up.”
Let’s all remember his real name is the marvelously snooty-sounding Chaim.
The same clown who insisted that Terry Gross could not pronounce it correctly because she has “a gentile mouth.” She slapped him down a peg or two.
whenever I see a quote from Gene Simmons I am reminded that Howard Stern used to have a caller who pretended to be Gene Simmons who I greatly preferred to the real one, because he absolutely excelled at taking the piss out of the real GS and his screaming arrogance and willingness to pimp out anything for a dollar. I’d much rather hear what Stern’s fake GS has to say about Alex Trebek.
Along with the fake Alex Jones, those sort of callers on Stern are the best.
Oh the heady days of Al Pacino’s Baby…
“I like to … UR-inate. And I looove goin’ poo.”
Infowars….dot comINFOWARS-DOT-COM!
“We are listener funded not Soros funded like you…”
I don’t think he was a caller, I think he was part of Stern’s “gang of idiots”, because I remember he was actually in the studio once with the real Gene Simmons basically taunting him to his face–I remember his imitation was so good that when he said something really bad, the real Gene Simmons would jump and say “this is the *real* Gene Simmons and that wasn’t me”. Absolutely hilarious.
Gotcha…you mean like Evil Dave. That’s even cooler.
If you listen to a lot of Gene Simmons blathering on about his business genius and all that you realize quickly he sounds an awful lot like a certain ex-president.
oh yes, didn’t he support Trump? I’d be stunned if he didn’t.
I don’t know. There was always a certain…darkness….someone taking themselves WAAAY more seriously than our former President let alone anyone else on the planet. Hell, Simmons proudly discusses his line of KISS branded caskets. Even Trump has certain boundaries. Even bandmate Paul Stanley, who lives not far from Simmons, has barely visited him and his reasons why are telling.
I am Doctor Remulak
“Call now, play Phone Jeopardy!” Anyone who’s heard this before knows Trebek had a bit of a potty mouth:
Why isn’t HE dead? Worst rock star ever.
It’s a good thing you reminded us how much a shithead Simmons is in that first paragraph or we would have thought you were an apologist.