Alright, filmmakers and old-school Saturday Morning Cartoon Crusaders, this is it. This is the moment we’ve been waiting for. General Mills has put out an official call for all aspiring actors, filmmakers, agents, “tastemakers, dealmakers, movers, and shakers” in hopes of making their cereal-box monsters the next major film stars. That’s right. The Berries Boo and Franken are ready for their closeups, and you now have an opportunity to be responsible for this mildly dystopian turn of events.
On a website strictly dedicated to this effort, General Mills asks creatives from all sections of entertainment to send it any possible ideas. Those interested are encouraged to submit their contact info and credentials; however, the company is very clear: This is not a contest or pitch-grab. This is somehow a serious offer to, as they say, “work with the monsters.” So that Count Chocula/Riverdale crossover fanfic that’s currently burning a hole in your hard drive? That could be a thing. Whether the public would thank or throttle you for it remains to be seen, but the point is, General Mills is willing to open up that Pandora’s Box.
Sure, the idea of Franken Berry becoming the next deeply troubled prison guard in an Orange Is The New Black-esque CW musical sounds preposterous. But to be fair, this isn’t General Mills’ first brush with Hollywood. In fact, their relationship goes back to the 1960s, the decade that birthed the likes of The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle and Underdog. And while we continue to claw our way from under an ever-growing heap of reboots, maybe a challenge to create something new, no matter where that challenge comes from, isn’t the worst thing.
If you’re planning on giving this a go, take a gander at the Terms and Conditions, dust off that Boo Berry military mockumentary spec script, and get to work. Your time is now.
44 Comments
Count Chocula is the best cereal of all time.
(That’s all I got.)
Fruity Pebbles all the way.
Gives me diarrhea. To each their own
Crunch Berries is the correct answer.
Frankenberry ftw
Lucky Charms or generic fruit loops.I’m surprised I’m not diabetic.
I loved these as a child and I was feeling nostalgic at college once and bought a box. I now remember the unpleasant of feeling the individual sugar crystals scraping on my teeth and an overwhelming sweetness that buried any chocolate goodness. This is when I also realized that processed cereals, largely made from what are basically agricultural and industrial waste products, cost more per pound than some decent cuts of meat.I will still always cherish those sugar addled Saturday mornings of my childhood.
Cocoa Krispies. LOVED drinking the now-chocolate milk from the bowl.
I did, too. For me Cocoa Krispies came in a strong second after Count Chocula.
Monster cereals are not the same as they were 40 years ago. The cereal pieces are all full of air. There’s nothing to them.
I see. I haven’t had Count Chocula in decades. So I will just coast on my memories.
That’s all you need, it IS the best cereal ever, fact.
It’s not any dumber than the Transformer toys turned into a money-printing franchise.
Thank you for this headline, it brightened my day.
First thing I thought of was, They want to put Count Chocula on a boat, with a bunch of strippers?
Did I miss this episode of Agents of SHIELD?
You missed this episode of Preacher.
Cap’N Crunch with orange juice on the side.mmmmm, good times.
Nothing exfoliates the roof of my mouth quite like Cap’n Crunch.
Nothing turns my feces a radioactive shade of green quite like Crunch Berries.
YES! I came here to say the same…and fuck that pure corn syrup concoction.
I think the key to Cap’n Crunch is that it cuts lots of tiny fissures in the roof of your mouth and the sugar is absorbed directly into your blood stream.I have a lot of theories about breakfast cereal.
bring back Fruit Brute or no dice.
The monster trio is to Riverdale as Frute Brute is to Chilling Tales of Sabrina. They need to establish the big name characters first, then do an edgier show about Frute Brute on Netflix.
Weird that you guys went with Leo…
About 10 years ago, I did a poster mockup for Leo’s production company for a meeting they were doing with General Mills. They were going to license their characters and do a grimdark/real world version where Lucky the Irish dude was the protagonist and Chocula was a seriously mean-assed vampire.
I am not making this up.
I would proudly hang that poster above my mantle. Too insane.
I only did the digital work. They got it printed somewhere at a large format printer.
I was *supposed* to get a pic of Leo with it at the presentation, but you know, HOLLYWOOD.
You were ROBBED, sir. I’m sorry for your loss.
Yes.
sounds like you have something to send them!
I’m just hoping that they somehow cross over with the Dark Universe. I’ve been on pins and needles waiting to see what Universal comes up with after that Mummy movie!
Is it just me or do the Terms and Conditions seem to technically give them the right to use whatever you send them without you being able to do anything about it?“Notwithstanding the foregoing and anything to the contrary contained herein, I understand and agree that your use of property containing elements similar to or identical with protectable literary property contained in my Material shall not obligate you to me in any manner if you shall have obtained such property either heretofore or hereafter from sources other than from me. I hereby waive the right to make any claims and release any and all claims, including without limitation copyright infringement claims, against you arising from any similarity (whether or not such claims, if true, would prevail) between the Material and any other material which you may have the right to use and/or may be using now or in the future.No idea if that’s actually enforceable or not, and maybe I’m misunderstanding it, but this sounds like they could have somebody copy your material and give the copy to them, and if they did that, you’d just be screwed. I mean, I get what they’re trying to do, and it makes sense from their perspective, but it seems too broad. At the very least, that last bit should just have “and,” not “and/or.” I can’t see any reading of “and/or” which wouldn’t mean you’re waiving the right to sue over their use of material even if they DIDN’T have the right to use it.
“I will not be joining you. I breakfasted earlier and I do not drink … OJ.”
In my research for my honours thesis as an undergraduate I studied spatial memory in rats. Rats love chocolate. Rats love sugar. There was no better place to find that than Count Chocula. So, I used CC as the reinforcer.
The website that has written like a hundred thousand words about the gritty reboot of Sabrina the Fucking Teenage Witch has no right to mock this. None.
I called this over a decade ago. I was so convinced, I wrote a treatment for a Lucky Charms movie. It’s not bad, I think I’ll dust it off and send it in.
General Mills spokesperson: “We’re proud to announce our plans to create a series of movie and TV properties based on our extensive stable of cereal cartoon characters. Now…anybody got any ideas?….Anybody?”
He’ll always be skinny Ted Cruz to me.
Or paul ryan when he’s all grown up.
Finally. An outlet for my Franken Berry / Trix Rabbit slash fanfic.
How about the Monster Cereal/ Groovie Goolie mashup the world has been waiting for?
Sort of off topic but… Oops All Berries was an inside job.I wish I could say more but I can’t get into all the details right now.
“Admiral Crunch?!”