Post-grieve Succession by making a “meal fit for a king” at home

Succession is over. Shiv, Kendall, Roman, and, yes, even Greg and Tom are gone. The source of endless relatable moments for those who, like the writers of The A.V. Club, live lavish lifestyles due to our wealthy, grumpy, media conglomerate-owning daddies, Succession held a mirror up to society, reflecting how great we all look. But while Shiv, in all her girlboss glory, and alpha male Kendall gave us moments that screamed, “that’s literally me,” all paled in comparison to the finale, when Roman acted like a real human boy for a change and was slightly more pleasant around his family simply because he cratered American democracy and got beat up while antagonizing a democracy-obsessed activist. Licking a step-father’s cheese will do that to a man.

We’re talking, of course, about “a meal fit for a king,” the classic children’s game in which participants toss a bunch of gross crap in a blender and force their sibling to drink it. Now Succession fans (Succeeders? Successors?) can play at home with simple household ingredients. For a meal fit for a king, please add the following to a blender: Milk, Tabasco hot sauce, bread crusts, Branston Pickle, raw eggs, cocoa powder, and the spit of a Siobahn Roy. For a plant-based alternative, substitute any milk alternative for the milk (we recommend oat for that thick and creamy texture) and silken tofu for the eggs. If Sarah Snook is unavailable, any consensually acquired saliva will do.

As for who would drink this thing, well, one little boy who will never be king did. Per EW, Kendall Roy himself, Jeremy Strong, told HBO’s official Succession podcast that he drank the meal and it was disgusting. Though after a few takes, Strong felt it necessary to go outside and retch before jumping into the ocean to wash the Branston Pickle out of his hair.

“Yeah, I did drink it, yeah,” Strong told host Kara Swisher, with all the “yeah” s fans crave. “I wouldn’t know how not to drink it. He wants it that badly, that he’s going to drink whatever that is. But it was disgusting.”