Gwyneth Paltrow skiing testimony somehow drags Jimmy Kimmel and Taylor Swift into the Goop
The Goop Field is active, as Gwyneth Paltrow took the stand today in her civil trial for a 2016 "ski and run" incident
Aux News Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow is in the midst of one of the odder performances of her career this week, as the Oscar winner took the stand in a Utah court room today to testify in the skiing-based civil trial she’s currently embroiled in. Across hours of testimony, the questioning got what we can only think of as “Goop Weird,” including references to her “friendship” with Taylor Swift, accusations of colorblindness against a witness, and one of the few times (as far as we know) that Jimmy Kimmel banter has ever been used as potential evidence in a court of law.
The latter was brought up by attorney Kristin VanOrman, who’s trying to prove that Paltrow ran into her client, 70-something Terry Sanderson, on a Utah ski slope in 2016—and not the other way around, as the Paltrow camp is attempting to assert. The bit of Kimmel show dialogue in question was apparently a clip in which Paltrow said that she was “always running into things.”
At the core of the argument—which sees Paltrow counter-sue Sanderson for $1, plus what are likely to be very hefty attorney fees—is a basic question of who hit who. (Sanderson says Paltrow collided with him, causing, per Deadline, “several broken ribs and a brain injury from the alleged blow.”) The only eyewitness to come forward appears to have been a guy named Craig Ramone, who Paltrow has all but accused of lying on the stand, saying he was “40 feet away” from the incident, “and color blind.”
Paltrow says Sanderson collided with her from behind, causing her to wonder in the moment if it was some kind of attempt at sexual assault, saying that “he was making some strange noises that sounded male.” Paltrow made it clear in her testimony today that she quickly dismissed the idea that Sanderson had nefarious reasons for the collision. (Although she still certainly contends that he hit her, not the other way around.)
Meanwhile, the Swift stuff barely makes sense, even in context: VanOrman brought it up in relation to Swift’s own $1-in-damages court case from a few years back, against radio host David Mueller, asking Paltrow if she’d taken inspiration from Swift’s choice of damages. Paltrow said she and Swift are merely “friendly,” and not actually “good friends,” and that they don’t talk regularly ; VanOrman then apparently brought up a Goop ad in which Paltrow appeared to be sending Swift a vibrator as a gift, but a hateful judge who doesn’t want us to understand this stupid world we find ourselves trapped in cut her off before we could find out why.
Paltrow’s kids, Apple and Moses, and husband, Brad Falchuk, are expected to also testify in the trial; the plaintiff has attempted to make a case that Paltrow was distracted by her kids when the incident happened, although the actor denies it. Sanderson is suing for $300,000 (down from an initial multi-million pursuit) to cover costs from his injuries.
40 Comments
Now I’m just a simple small-town lawyer, but it’s pretty obvious to me that they simply collided into each other like a couple of characters in a Hanna-Barbera cartoon.
Case closed and I’ll accept my legal fees in the form of that Goop-branded vibrator and a 32-pack of batteries.
I will send you the vibrator forthwith, good Sir! More or less used.
Witnesses clearly heard the collision:
Now I’m just a simple small-town lawyer, The plaintiff’s lawyer has actually used that line at least a couple times.I don’t think it’s nearly as effective as he thinks it is.
We have some footage of one of the cross-examinations:
Look, I’m just a caveman. Your society confuses and frightens me, but if a woman can’t ski out of control into a dude and leave him unconscious and deserving of $3 million then I’m not sure why they dug me out of that glacial creavasse.
“Now get me another Dewar’s and water, pronto!”
Most of those vibrators are usb rechargeable so you should feel free to make some other plans for the batteries.
A simple country lawyer, who visited a farm once and learned how cows work, cause he grew up in a city. Not even kidding (cued up to 3:01).And THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is how executive function works!
Plantiff’s attorney was miffed when Paltrow balked at getting off the stand and recreating with her how a man came up from behind her and forced her legs apart and involuntarily spooned her for the jury. She was pretty insistent until Paltrow’s lawyer finally objected and they had a side bar.
The lawyer then came back with something like “since you refuse to come down and let me demonstrate what he did to you” before another objection.
I’m slanting the language a bit to make a point, but I swear that’s pretty much how it went. I mean, she’s a Weinstein survivor. Did those witnesses have to let a stranger demonstrate what Harvey did to them in front of the jury?
it was honestly a wacky watch, and whatever feelings someone has towards Paltrow, this is a bogus case. Their skis got tangled together and they both fell very slowly.When the plaintiffs lawyer somehow thinks Paltrow came up with the scheme in cahoots with Taylor Swift because Swift also sued for a symbolic 1$ in a completely unrelated case? It was like an SNL skit, the lawyer truly think all Hollywood besties.
It was weird when the lawyer asked if she had a medical or engineering degree when she said the guy’s ribs got broke just from her falling on him.She fell on him.
His ribs got broke.
Therefore, his ribs got broke just from her falling on him.She doesn’t need some fancy degree to figure that out.And it sounds like the defense finally found an intern to make an animation. I can’t believe it took so long.
“She told me that she was Taylor Swift’s best friend but that Taylor Swift wasn’t her best friend.”
I thought Brad Pitt told Weinstein to stay the hell away from her?Your point is still a good one though.
I was gonna say it was probably the fist time “Vagina Egg” has ever shown up in a court transcript, but I think she actually got sued over the claims she made about them.
So nevermind.
Just to say, “fist time Vagina Egg” is a typo for the ages.
Well, how else do you lodge it up there, eh? Cherry picker?
Jamie Lee Curtis’s Oscar? Ew.
It is just me, or does she look like a de-aged version of herself in that photo??
Plastic surgery — the original CGI
Actually, I was noting how she finally looks more natural. A few years back, it looked like she’d had some fillers injected – she was looking overly plump in some parts of her face. Either they absorbed or she had them dissolved and is finally looking more like how I would expect her to.
Aaaaaaaveeeeeeeeeeee Marrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrria…grrrrrrratiiiiiaaaaaaaaa pleeeeee-EEEEE-naaaaaaaa….
Ancient curse from a bog witch
Wait, isn’t Gwyneth the bog witch, or am I completely misunderstanding how Goop is run?
It’s either been airbrushed or is in soft focus.
She looks just like her mother in some of the other photos.
Odo-esque.
Could anyone understand this article?
AV Club seeks not your understanding.
Yeah i understand it just fine
enjoy it while you can, pretty soon, ChatGHP is going to do a far better job at writing articles. All these bloggers will be flipping burgers at McDonald’s.
Why are even your US cosmostars so embarrassingly redneck? Not like Lasso or something, this Paltrow what an intense hick.
Why would she insert her “quickly dismissed” concerns of assault into this testimony? You don’t need to make an excuse for fleeing the scene if you claim to fled no scene.Not only do I not believe her, I don’t think she believes her.
I’m lazy and not rich so I have no personal experience here, but don’t ski hills make you sign waivers?
Everybody skis at their own risk, unless the resort does something negligent.Plus, they were on a beginner hill where more accidents will happen.
A beginners hill? lol the jokes write themselves!
This is why I assumed a resort would have people sign waivers, or at least have it in the fine print when you buy a ski pass. Skiing just seems inherently risky, like any sport, especially if you’re a beginner. The idea of skiers going after each other over collisions is something else, I suppose. It seems a bit opportunistic.
This could be partly the result of his insurance company. Having been involved in a couple collisions with cars on my bike (their fault both times), I learned both your and their insurance company will look for any way not to have to pay the bill themselves. So, if there’s a chance that the accident may be the fault of someone else, his insurance may be forcing him to seek what recompense from her before they will pay any additional fees. (This is just supposition.)
No they don’t.
Oh, come on, this took over 7 years to go to trial? Just give him the $300,000 already! What is that, 4 vagina eggs?