God bless Glenn Danzig. He’s always been fully committed to his own idea of art, whether that’s been the full-steam-ahead punk rock of Misfits, the heavy metal of Danzig, or the extremity of his comic book company Verotik, a portmanteau of “violence” and “erotic.” But all of that has clearly been a prelude to his true calling: making one of the most batshit ridiculous horror anthology films ever put on screen. Within the first 60 seconds, a narrator pokes out a woman’s eyes with her fingers, and it works all too well as a metaphor for what this movie puts the audience through.
Tonight was opening night of Chicago’s Cinepocalypse Film Festival, a horror genre fest that traffics in the gleefully disreputable, much to the delight of its dedicated fans. But this year, no one was prepared for what awaited them. The fest kicked off a few hours ago with the debut of Danzig’s first feature as a writer and director (among many other credits—he did the score, too). Verotika, based on his comics of the same name, played to a packed house, all of whom were eager to see what the frontman for several of the most iconic names in punk and metal had to offer the world of cinema. But within 10 minutes, the howling began. It was a deeply, powerfully, almost worryingly funny film, a misfire of the highest order—and as a post-screening Q&A with the director demonstrated, none of that was intentional.
“You guys laughed in some of the places I wouldn’t have, but that’s cool,” Danzig said when he took the stage. (This may be a slight paraphrase—I was rushing to write it down in the gleeful aftermath of this apparently accidental comedy.) This wasn’t quite the willful misunderstanding of a Tommy Wiseau, but it wasn’t far off. Danzig has made what, in his mind, is a deeply serious tribute to the horror anthology films of the ’60s and ’70s; he name-checked Mario Bava in particular, which was apt, as it often felt like Verotika was a Christopher Guest-level attempt to send up the operatic horror of that era. From the first frame to the last, the poor acting, comical staging, and delightfully bad camerawork suffuses every moment with unintentional comedy.
How to do justice to something so poorly made, but with such obvious passion and care—a joy for all the wrong reasons? How to pay tribute to the porno-esque production design, so pronounced that one might spend each of the three sequences in this triptych of macabre tales waiting for a pizza delivery guy to enter the frame and say, “Well, if you don’t have any money, how are you going to pay me?” How to properly applaud the straight-faced, comically protracted shots of actors staring into the distance? At one point, a woman looks into a mirror for minutes on end, while the camera zooms in…then out…then in…then out…then in…and so on. A guy in the row ahead of me started laughing so hard, it drowned out several of her lines, which was fine. The mix wasn’t so hot to begin with.
Let’s start with the first story, which finds a woman with eyes in her nipples (this is never explained) going to sleep and unleashing a vengeful id, a spider who has grown to massive size and become humanoid after her tears fall onto it. (Don’t ask.) The acting is of the hilarious “smell the fart” variety made famous by Joey Tribbiani. The staging, meanwhile, is wholly incompetent, with the images cut together with the abruptness of a VHS cassette that’s been taped over one too many times. During one scene, a random woman has a conversation with a man in a darkened alley, and then the camera pulls back to reveals she’s having a casual chat with an eight-armed spider creature, who then snaps her neck. Cut to the news anchor describing the scene, and saying the killer is being called “The Neckbreaker.” It’s spectacular.
The second tale is less ridiculous, but equally dumb. It features the adventures of a mysterious woman (boldly called “The Mystery Girl”) who dances in a strip club with her face shrouded, but who cuts off other women’s faces at night to place over her own deformed visage. (Why she would bother to steal faces when she just keeps them covered is a question no one thought to ask.) Highlights of this story include too-good-to-be-true moments like the cops, standing over the body of yet another woman with her face cut off, saying, “The killer’s motive is clear: He cuts their faces off.” (Again, this might be a slight paraphrase; I was scribbling fast and often.) Some of the standout acting here includes a role for Courtney Stodden, the former child bride of reality TV fame. She gets—you guessed it—her face cut off. Her performance is bad, in the best possible way.
But the last segment may be the worst (read: best) of all, a period piece about a medieval queen who bathes in the blood of virgin girls she executes to stay youthful. It resembles low-rent cosplay, below even what you see in Syfy movie-of-the-week tripe, and features scenes that go on so long, you wonder if it must be a joke. Then Glenn Danzig comes onstage after the credits roll and assures you it’s not. “I don’t wanna direct some Academy Award piece of shit,” he tells the crowd, and he clearly means it.
God only knows if this movie will ever see the light of day outside of a few film festivals. I sincerely hope it does; everyone should get the chance to see what Danzig’s ego hath wrought. I don’t even want him to be dispirited: This may not be the reaction he was hoping for, but it’s so much better than I could ever have imagined. This is funny on a level that most comedies can’t achieve. It’s that rare fusion of painstakingly expressed love and total lack of ability that deliver the best of bad cinema, and he should be proud. The director of Birdemic wishes his intentions were this pure. All I want to do is watch this movie again, with as many of my friends as I can assemble. Glenn Dan-zigged where he should have Dan-zagged, and for that we should all be profoundly grateful.
264 Comments
Oh hi Glenn . . .
* 7 excruciating minutes of Danzig’s pale bare ass mime-thrusting into some poor unsuspecting young actress *
so, the video for “She Rides”.
You know, that doesn’t sound *too* dissimilar to some Danzig videos…
You invited all my metal friends! Good thinking!
I got the results back. I definitely have eye-nipples.
I just like to watch you guys…with my nipple-eyes. eta- (a new Danzig lyric)
Nipple eyes/Are watching you/Watching your every mooooove….
See, Tommy Wiseau at least has a very good excuse — he’s clearly some kind of space alien. Glenn is just a doofus from Jersey. I honestly don’t understand how he can be so utterly clueless and out of touch.
Isn’t “from Jersey” sufficient excuse? He’s The Metal Situation.
He looks like poorly rendered artwork for Munsters fanfic.
You know, I wondered about that since he kind of answered his own question while asking said question.
“I honestly don’t understand how he can be so utterly clueless and out of touch.”I’m going to guess money and fame were heavily involved.
from JerseyI think that’s about all the answer you need.
“This is bullshit. I did not cut her face off, I did naaaaaaaht.”
[TOSSES FOOTBALL AROUND IN PARK]
METAL CHEEP CHEEP CHEEP!
Spoiler Alert: The football is a breast with eye nipples.
“Oh, hai, Maaahk, let us deesmembur hur and den play Amer-i-cahn footbawl wit hur bodee pahrrrts.”
“The killer’s motive is clear: He’s tearing them apaaaht.”
I have often contended that if, one day, you decided that you needed a much more Punk/Metal name and decided to change your last name to Danzig, that you would have also considered changing your first name as well. Especially if your first name was Glenn.
TIL that his last actually isn’t “Danzig”…
I know. His stage name. But it’s still silly that he is Glenn Danzig.
Wow, from that header picture, I now know where the design for the Scream mask came from.
“YOU ARE TEARING ME APART, SPIDER-CREATURE! No, literally.”
Hahaha, Mark. What a boob-eye.
During one scene, a random woman has a conversation with a man in a darkened alley, and then the camera pulls back to reveals she’s having a casual chat with an eight-armed spider creature, who then snaps her neck.I WANT TO SEE THIS NOW.This sounds like the unholy amalgam of Dario Argento and Neil Breen.
Right? To me it sounds like some amazing, bad-cinema magic trick. I have to watch it to see how he pulls it off.
Neil’s last two have disappointed me. Fateful Findings may be his zenith.
I have Twisted Pair and I’m waiting to watch it with my 3 brothers during our shitty movie night. I’ve been laughing about the trailer for a year now.
I agree, though, that Fateful Findings is his greatest work. It’s a disasterpiece.
Twisted Pair is for sure better than Pass Thru, which I think was boring for all the drone shots. I think Neil got access to a drone for Pass Thru and just went apeshit with it. Twisted Pair returns to some of his lunacy. But still not quite as fun as Fateful Findings.
I watched Pass Through and it was nearly unwatchable. It also had a really weird anti-immigration tone that was pretty bad.
Yeah, his sociopolitical views are a bit baffling. He *seems* anti-corporate and eco-friendly and populist but he routinely appropriates native culture and the less said about his weird, age-inappropriate “romantic” leading ladies the better. He’s all over the damn map.
Twisted Pair is even crazier. I was disappointed with Pass Thru, though.
Twisted Pair is amazing
I’m finding that his cabal of corporations and government agencies conspiracy shtick has diminishing returns. Which isn’t to say that I won’t buy the sequel to Twisted Pair just to find out what the fuck his having a depowered twin has to do with…. anything.
I MUST see this.Then I MUST see the episode of MST3K where they watch it.
That last line should either earn you an “atta-boy” from the Pulitzer committee or lead to your immediate firing and blacklisting from the entertainment news and criticism field. Possibly both.This movie sounds like it was made just for little ol’ me. Though I wonder if Glenn can actually beat Al Jourgensen, who contributed a cameo and a score to Wicked Lake (2008), a truly awful ‘witches get naked and kill guys’ movie that ended up in the dregs of Amazon Prime…
Full disclosure: I thought of that line years ago, and have been waiting for a reason to use it.
You didn’t choose this movie from the festival line-up in the hope of using that line, did you?
I would’ve
You didn’t choose this movie from the festival line-up in the hope of using that line, did you?
Well, congratulations, you picked the perfect occasion.
I could kinda tell it was a line you’d been saving for a long, long time — and I think you deployed it most effectively. Bravo.I mean, unless Danzig crashes a plane in the next year or two. Then you’ll wish you’d saved it.
Rest easy, Raymond. AVClub has gone green, so recycling lines is not only encouraged, but expected.
I love it when a plan comes together
Goddammit, I loved it. That’s great hustle, even if that sweet missive has been percolating for years.
This is acceptable. Never waste a trump card.
Did you think you would ever get the chance? Is that part of what led you to watch a Glenn Danzig directed movie in the first place?
Never admit to using prepared remarks, unless you can blame someone else.I mean, he clearly Dan-zagged with this one, when he should have done what he usually does…
well played, sir. very well played.
Clearly! But I’m glad you did.
I figured you were just beating the comments section to the punch.
Thanks, I was trying to find a movie to watch while I worked today. Nailed it.
Boo!! Rental only, not included with Prime. So I started “Terror at Blood Fart Lake.” I look forward to a horrible movie. The intro does not disappoint.
You might also try TubiTV. I also can thoroughly recommend the movie “Don’t Fuck in the Woods.” The plot is… what? Yeah, that’s it exactly.
“Don’t Fuck in the Woods”I could probably watch a whole movie of random people telling their friends they were going to see this movie just for the reaction shots.
For those that seem interersted, Wicked Lake is available to stream FREE on TubiTVhttps://tubitv.com/search/wicked%20lakeI am not a TubiTV employee, just someone with an atrocious tolerance for deeply shitty movies.
Amazon Prime, you say…thank you in advance.
You’ve done your good deed for day by alerting me of the existence of Wicked Lake. I’d like to return the favor and point you towards Robo Vampire, also on Prime.
It’s on TubiTVhttps://tubitv.com/search/wicked%20lake
REQUEST FOR CLARIFICATION:
Does the eye-nipple lady ALSO have eyes in the normal place? And if so, was it tears from her eye-place eyes, or her boob-eyes that created the giant spider creature?
These are the kinds of excellent questions I am here for. She also has eyes in the normal place, and her boob-eyes don’t create the tears that birth the enlarged spider-creature, that’s her standard eye tears.
“[H]er boob-eyes don’t create the tears that birth the enlarged spider-creature, that’s her standard eye tears.”—Alex McLevy, The A.V. Club
More proof I don’t come here for the literary merit: I come for the deft wordsmithing that produces eye-boobs. And boob-eyes.What happens when a boob-eye gets an astigmatism, or conjunctivitis? And that photo makes it look like Glenn Danzig stole someone’s face and put it on crooked. What’s up with that? These are the things I want to know about.
It’s a brand new sentence!
Hot damn, that could almost be a Biastioc quote. Its like poetry.
The boob eyes might be a reference to the boob eyes in Ken Russell’s “Gothic,” which were based on a boob eye nightmare Percy Shelley had (about boob eyes). But somehow I doubt this boob eye information will make the boob eye scene make more sense.
He might’ve just stolen the idea from Gothic because he figured no one else had seen it. I don’t think think of eye-nipples as its own horror trope. Maybe this movie changes that.
We need one more: three makes it a trend, from what I hear.
Read that as Pete Shelley, LOL’d.
It’s sad how people today have no idea about the history of eye boobs. Never forget!
How would Shelley describe boob eyes? I’ll go find out but here’s my guess:“She, going against natureHad her lesser orbs within the greaterSet in the place of nurtureWhat once gave can now receiveWhat once was hidden can now see”Doesn’t really sound like Shelley at all but that’s the best I can do on the topic in under sixty seconds.
The real boob-eye nightmare would be people shouting “yo, boob-eyes!” as you walk down the street, amirite?
Well now I just want a sequel where we find out if boob eye tears would also create a spider monster.
That makes sense.
Well, you see, this makes sense – I mean why would tears from nipple eyes do magic? That’d just break the suspension of disbelief…(Sarcasm)
It’s this sort of thing that ruined Avengers: Endgame for me.
Yeah… I mean, giant purple space alien with a magic glove that time travels? Okay. But come on – putting the magic rocks on a iron Man glove just ruins the realism it had going on…
From your lips to Stan Lee’s ears.
Well duh. If creatures came from her boob eye milk tears, they would be giant snakes. Its basic occult 101
Holy crap I’m dying. WTF are the nipple eyes for then!? And are we calling them nipple eyes or eye nipples?
I would argue that “nipple eye” is more fun to say.
This is the hard-hitting journalism I want from AVClub.
But there is an Instagram recap that says the nipple eyes did cry (right after the man she was blowing said “they’re looking at me” and ran) and fell on a dead spider. This is serious, we need to know the truth!
I’ve just seen it now, and it is indeed the breast eye tears that land on the spider.
Man, I really thought the tears were some bizarre lactation reference. But she cries out of her “normal” eyes instead? Why even have nipple-eyes if you’re not gonna use ‘em?!
I bet there’s several things in that post you didn’t ever expect to type.
Aren’t tears from boob-eyes just milk?
“Time to put in my contacts. Ugh. Worst part of the day.”
Is there some sort if bra/glasses contraption for the eyeboobed ..and would they be marketed as ‘See Cups’?The questions are endless
When she goes to topless beach does she have a giant pair of boob sunglasses?
Take your damn star, SIR.
Bra-focals.
“Hey! My eyes are up…! Oh, nevermind.”
Having eyes for nipples is just common courtesy, really.
You can get 34D contacts?
They’re prescription. You just have to visit a specialist optician, who loves his job.
“Ten contact lenses…sheesh!”
“Worst part? Or breast part?”
Maybe not the worst, but probably the horniest part of the day.
The most important question.
“When it’s cold out, can you see better?”
If anyone’s wondering, that’s from an old SNL skit called “The Women With Eyes On Their Breasts”. It played as a 50s B-movie about women from a planet who had evolved this way so their men would make eye contact with them. I think that’s Kirstie Alley in the middle.
…and does the piece go for the obvious “my eyes are up here” joke, or does it just leave that on the table?
I remember this from the comic – it was just as confusing then too…
This is precisely what I came here to ask. Thank you.
“Hey, pal, my eyes are up here!Oh wait, no they’re not. Carry on.”
I was hoping she’d have two nipples on her face.
“sucking face”
Two words: Nose. Vagina.
I have no questions. I’m just here to say ‘boob-eyes’.
Yes.
she has eyes on her face as well, the tear that drops on the spider are indeed from her boob-eyes. also the boob-eyes never blink haha
it sounds like the old SNL skit with Kirstie Alley where alien womens with eyes on their nipples come to earth and promise to give us their superior tech but the male leaders keep staring at their “eyes” and trying to grab them to the point where they leave. (Then a preview for a story about alien women with mattresses for backs)
I have almost no interest in horror movies, and even less in this kind of “erotic” horror movie, but damn if I’m not intrigued by how insane this sounds. I really love the line, “The killer’s motive is clear: He cuts their faces off.” That’s an MO, not a motive. That’s like saying, “We figured out his motive: it’s staging the killing to look like a suicide!”
It appears that in this case, the face-cutting-off really IS the motive. She wants the faces because her own is deformed. The question is, how do the cops know this, simply from the crime scene. Because most cops would, I think, assume it was the killer’s M.O., and have no way of knowing the motive.
Perhaps we are meant to see this deduction as evidence that we are dealing with supercops with super-intuition. Or perhaps the film-makers don’t know the difference between motive and M.O. Or perhaps I am over-thinking this.
The MO is that she cuts the faces off, the motive is that her face is deformed and she wants a Dead Skin Mask (yes, that is a Slayer reference!). Two connected, but different, concepts.
face-cutting-offNot a motiveShe wants the facesThis is a motive.
There are few words that bum me out more than “erotic.” It makes me think of predatory photographers and Eurotrash swingers with no shame. Maybe this film will be the thing that finally causes it to be retired.
Just makes me think of Zapp Brannigan.
No one told Glenn that “MO” stands for “Modus Operandi” and isn’t, in fact, short for “MOtive”.
It’s incredible – it reminds me of Darkplace.
“The killer’s motive is clear: He cuts their faces off.”Shades of the infamous line from Plan 9: “One thing’s sure: Inspector Clay is dead — murdered — and somebody’s responsible!”
Maybe it was supposed to be a comma, not a colon.
I was there and have a couple photos if you’re interested. This entire thing was nuts. There were cops blocking either side of the stage as if he would get bumrushed during the ridiculous Q&A. He insulted the Marvel franchise as unoriginal, yet his entire third act appeared to be wholly lifted from the Countess Bathory segment of Borowczyk’s “Immoral Tales.” I also briefly attended the after party. I have a lot to say about what I saw. I was reacting openly to the screen and apologize if it was me who made things hard to hear.
Must give deets of after party.
Yo, now you HAVE to tell us what you saw at the after party.
Story time?
do continue …
I, too, am curious about what you saw.
I have always gotten the impression that Glenn Danzig takes himself *very* seriously, like ridiculously so, in stark contrast to the high-toned silliness of all the Misfits I’ve heard no matter who’s singing.
I once heard a radio show where they interviewed one of Danzig’s former band members who said that Glenn has an excellent sense of humor.
The host had the same reaction everybody else did: “What, really?”
The band member clarified: “Well, a good sense of humor about everything except about himself.” This, of course, makes all the endless Danzig jokes twice as funny.
That’s like having a vague impression that water is in fact wet, T.R.
He is serious about his book collection and the results are hilarious.
I remember first seeing that video around the turn of the century and everyone was just bawling with laughter. And this was a room full of people who love the Misfits / Samhain / Danzig.
So he’s not one of the few horror writers to have written more books than they’ve read?
lol. Are you referencing Garth Marenghi? If so, you just made my afternoon.
I just can’t watch that with a straight face because of his rampant shirtlessness. The Ghost of Christmas Past from The Future was right.
Thank you.
Perhaps, but he ain’t no goddamn son of a bitch.
That’s the real danger here, isn’t it? That Danzig’s extreme self-seriousness will lead him to bury this beauty in reaction to mockery and we’ll never get to experience it. The ideal situation would be for him to keep re-editing and reworking it for years like some kind of horror-movie Chinese Democracy, and repeatedly keep re-releasing the successive versions to festivals to ever more laugh-inducing results. Of course, that would only benefit us common people if some eventual home release actually compiled all the various versions, but again his dislike of mockery could preclude this.
surely Walerian Borowczyk already did the third segment more sleazily and opulently than Danzig could hope to do it
And to think that at one point he was a half-decent mucisian.
Half-decent?To quote My Favorite Murder: G’fuck yourself.
Sure thing, sport.
No, that’s Huey Lewis. And it’s Sports. You don’t know music.
Fine, chap.
I have lip balm.
I had a moment recently where I was playing “Mother” on my guitar, and I had the thought, “Shit, I’m a grown man. These lyrics are no longer okay.” Followed by the thought, “How old was Danzig when he wrote this song?”
Punk has been my preferred genre for decades at this point (I even have the requisite Black Flag tattoo), and I’ve always felt like the Misfits are a band I should like and/or appreciate. But man, I just can’t. Glenn Danzig is just the worst. He’s such a self-serious asshole, and everything in which he’s ever been a part of comes off as super corny and utterly insufferable. My favorite video featuring Danzig is the one in which he shoves Danny Marianino of North Side Kings, and Danny responds by knocking that mesh-shirted ass the fuck out. It’s always so satisfying to watch.
Nah, man. The Misfits are phenomenal. Corny? Hell. Yes. And I love them for it. The songs also fuckin rock. And I very much appreciate that none of the songs are about Thatcher or Reagan or American foreign policy or whatever the fuck. Skulls, Halloween, demon chicks, oversexed alien teenagers…. Yes, please!
This review made me laugh so hard, I cried, and then nearly threw up. I will forever wonder… What would have spawned from the sacred vomit of my laughter? I cannot wait to see this majestic travesty. Dear God: Wide release, please. I hope Glenn keeps making movies. He should title the next one, “There Will Be Tits” and maybe we can watch a man of the cloth be beaten to death with a dismembered demon penis. I wish it unto the Universe. Make it so.
Saturday Night Live, starring Kirstie Alley
“Their Eyes Were On Their Breasts!”
Danzig tried to make something shocking and horrific, only to end up making something pathetic and laughable?Isn’t that basically his whole career? The most horrific thing about Danzig is that he takes himself seriously, and he really thinks he’s some sort of transgressive type.
I never thought we’d hear from Courtney Stodden again.
“Everyone being in on the joke but Danzig” could also possibly describe The Misfits.
I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY
I MADE A MOVIE TODAYAND IT DOESN’T MATTER MUCH TO ME AS LONG AS…EYES ARE WHERE THE NIPPLES SHOULD BE (?)
(lost the tune in that last line, but still…)
You were doing so well, too!
so if you had to grade it..
There exists an alternate universe in which Danzig was cast as Wolverine.
But Wolverine with or without boob eyes?
He would be the surliest of X-Men.
It’s called Canada.
He’s got the height part right.
Good to see Danzig’s art is at the same level of garbage it has been for the past 25 years, although this sounds MUCH more pleasing.
I know nothing of this man – does he always resemble cheap CGI?
I thought the artwork to this had boob-eyes, but it’s got four eyes a one screaming boob. My memory for mutated cleavage isn’t what it was….
“What? I needed the work.”- Ennio Morricone
Ennio ain’t picky – dude has scored somewhere around 400-500 films/shows, and mountains of those are shit. Haven’t seen it, but Spasmo is apparently in the better end of those (as far as giallo goes).
Well if Loqueesha can end up on Amazon Prime streaming, then Verotika should be there soon.
Danzig’s popularity has always been a source of bafflement to me. Never will I understand how this cringy dumbass kitsch merchant was ever taken seriously. I say this as an old fart who drives around in the summer with my windows down blasting Iron Maiden and Mercyful Fate, so it’s not like I’m embarrassed to be seen rocking. But Danzig is cringe city.
WHOA. If I
had 20 eyes, I would use them all to watch this film.
What if you had eyes on your nipples?
As I am male, this would be horror business for sure
Hey, eyes down here.
I’m kind of an old softy I guess, but no matter how terrible the output, I applaud people who see their creative ideas through to the end. Like, how many times have I had what I thought was some brilliant creative spark and either never started working on it or started & gave up part of the way through? Bless those who are dedicated.
HI Glenn!
What up, Zod?!
I…need to see this.
“Glenn Dan-zigged where he should have Dan-zagged”+1, McLevy. +1.
I don’t even want him to be dispiritedI do, I hope this genuinely hurts him. Fuck that guy.
“I don’t wanna direct some Academy Award piece of shit,”The man is perfectly content to direct a laughable piece of shit.
“The killer’s motive is clear: He cuts their faces off.”I can actually hear in my head Bill Corbett, Mike Nelson and Kevin Murphy cackling at this line.
And here I thought Glenn getting knocked out in Arizona was going to be his greatest gift to me.
I want to see a horror anthology of things that actually scare Danzig. For his first story I suggest“The curse of the HOA who demanded you get rid of the pile of bricks in the front of your house”It’s a chilling tale of how no matter how rich you are, you can still be a lazy asshole who drives down home prices around you.
The second thing? Big fat dudes.
Damn, that didnt even look like a solid punch.
I remember Danzig getting knocked the fuck out, I couldn’t remember the other guy.
Don’t you mean the HOA that demands you get rid of the blood sprinklers in front of your house?
OOOOOOOOO DAAAAANZIIIIIGGGG…. YOU WANT SOMETHIN’ TO EEAAAAAAT
YOU MAKE OUR HOUSE BLEED RIGHT NOW!
HaHA. Wow. That’s some hilariously great writing. Bravo Sir.
Within the first 60 seconds, a narrator pokes out a woman’s eyes with her fingers, and it works all too well as a metaphor for what this movie puts the audience through. I look forward to drunk-watching this on Netflix.
The key to life is having someone who loves you to tell you “No”, when you present a hare-brained idea.
I met Danzig back when he had just started the band Danzig and I got the impression of that guy in high school who tried way too hard to be bard and mysterious. IT was hard not to giggle.
I simply must see this! It sounds like something you’d see in a Spike & Mike Film Festival, but not animated.
didn’t he used to show up on aqua teen hunger force? that was a damn funny show.
OK — it’s bad. But is it Blood Ocean bad?
The cast of Mystery Science Theater 3000 are gonna have a fucking field day in a ballfield with this movie. I can’t wait for that episode
I’m not convinced Danzig isn’t actually Tommy Wiseau. Look at those guys. Ever see them together in the same room?
Im thinking Dr Jekyl/Mr Hyde situation.
Could be a case of Mr Hyde/also Mr Hyde.
Youre right, I wouldn’t use “doctor” to describe either of em.
I did a plot summary on my Instagram. @bullyhuff
Thank you for this.
New Jerseyans can wax-poetic all they want about Springsteen and Sinatra, Paul Simon and Whitney Houston and all the other “voices of Jersey,” but Glenn Danzig will always be the hero they really deserve.
I guess here eye’s weren’t up there.
Here is hoping he embraces his inner Ed Wood.Still not a fan since he got all huffy about the Glenn and Henry Forever comics though:Rollins, on the other hand, thinks they are hilariously goofy.
Hi – I’d just like to point out that the face stealing stripper is a fucking rip off of a fantastic TALES FROM THE CRYPT episode. Thanks.
starring PETER ONORATItalk about semi-big stars of an earlier timeI really remember that episode very well, maybe just because boobs
Danzig also definitely remembers it because of the boobs.
“got the number 80085 tattooed on my neck…”
Holy hell, Glenn Danzig might’ve just made The Room of horror anthologiesI think you mean “the The Room.”
Holy fuck I need to see this
I’ve never wanted to see a movie so bad! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
I MUST see this movie.Then I MUST see the MST3K episode where they watch it.
Let’s start with the first story, which finds a woman with eyes in her nipples (this is never explained)
Let me take a shot: Glenn thought Ken Russell’s Gothic was too talky, but that nobody would notice if he swiped some cool stuff from it.
“Glenn Dan-zigged where he should have Dan-zagged, and for that we should all be profoundly grateful.”This is the single greatest piece of writing I’ve ever seen. Fucking bravo sir.
Sounds like he took the reactions about as hard as a punch from the North Side Kings, who I’m told are still undefeated.
“The director of Birdemic wishes his intentions were this pure.”They were. He’s another guy like Tommy Wisseau who’s trying to retroactively act like he was in on the joke the entire time, but he’s been sincere and oblivious with every one of his films before Birdemic 2. If you can still find interviews with him online before he made Birdemic, he worships Hitchcock and is(was) very serious about molding himself after him. Everything he’s done is an homage. Birdemic was a serious attempt at horror message movie.
Mommy?…can I go out and…MAKE TERRIBLE FILMS TONIGHT!?!
I’VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY: I need this movie TODAY.
I have nothing to offer but this:
I also offer that one day in the early 90’s I was working at Toys R Us, and Glenn Danzig and the band came in the store and browsed. He’s so short. It was an odd day.
they put him on the rack and now he’s jack white
When is someone going to greenlight my Danzig biopic starring Bruce McCulloch?
At one point, a woman looks into a mirror for minutes on end, while the
camera zooms in…then out…then in…then out…then in…and so on.
I kind of want to see it just for this scene alone!
I saw Danzig last year in Vegas and security was told to not let anyone take pictures or videos as that was Glenn’s rule. It was part of a festival, no way I’d go see his solo act.
From Aqua Teen,Carl: “um, what did you say your name was again?”Danzig: “Danzig, motherfucker”.
I did not drink her blood.. I did naaaaat. Oh, Hi Satan.
I’ve never read a review that made me want to watch something as badly as I want to watch this now. Hope someone takes pity on us and it gets a DVD release.
An entire ensemble doing smell-the-fart acting? I don’t know if I can handle that. To date the most purely smell-the-fart performance I have ever seen is Ken Watanabe in Godzilla, which was something to behold, and not in any way a bad thing. But I struggle to even conceive of a whole movie of that.
Wait, are you saying Glenn Danzig is not actually Tommy Wiseau? I don’t believe you.
I need to watch this immediately! LOL
“The killer’s motive is clear: He cuts their faces off.” Strictly speaking, this isn’t a motive.Motive is: Why did I go see a movie about a killer cutting off people’s faces without any clear motive?Can’t wait for Rifftrax/MST3K to do Verotica.
Danzig looks like Dorothy just doused him with a bucket of water.
It sounds like Danzig might be the next Ed Wood. Also, I hope this ends up on Prime Video so it will fit in with the vast collection of low budget terrible movies, such as Ninjas vs Monsters https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2070759/?ref_=nv_sr_1?ref_=nv_sr_1
You neglected to mention his ‘classical’ album which was actually ok.
Just read the headline to my girlfriend and she just screamed “Goddamnit! Goddamnit! I HATE DANZIG!”She was all set to work in the art department for this movie last year, for a guy she had worked with in the past, but Danzig got pissy and fired the entire crew before she was able to join.
Danzig was born to make this movie. I like the first three or four of his solo albums musically, but I’m pretty sure that the lyrics were taken directly from the musings in my junior-high notebook, especially the ones about my smart-girl crush (code-named “Black Summer”, real name Teri Ziegler).
God bless Glenn Danzig and his perennial lack of self-awareness…
oh, i soooooooo want to see this now (with my nipple-eyes).
So….future Rifftrax fodder? Oh, I hope so!!
I SO want to see this now, and make a house party out of it. And by the sounds of it, Danzig’s taking it stride. Like, as long as the audience had fun with it, he did his job.
So my question: how does it compare to a really great flick like, say, MASSACRE ON AISLE 12? Asking for a friend
All this really tells me is that while Danzig was aiming for Bava, he landed on Joe D’Amato. There could be value in that.
Paging Rifftrax…
Is it ok to admit now that Glenn Danzig has always been over-rated and that what good days he’s had are long past?“He’s evil for real!” is not the same thing as “he is talented.”
-An Anonymous Nerd
Im very disappointed that Falling Down is no longer on the festival schedule. I guess it was not economically viable.
Thank you for this article, I’m gonna link it to my local horror festival. This sounds like a delicious addition to their lineup.Also, the lack of an extra ‘the’ in the title made me briefly imagine “the Room of horror anthologies”. Have to be honest, I’d like to see that too.
Glen or Glennda……nzig?
I AIN’T NO GODDAMN CINEMATOGRAPHERYOU BETTAH THINK ABOUT IT BABY
That picture up top makes it look like Glenn is getting clocked by a most spectacular albeit invisible left hook.
The nipperboobs may be a reference to a nightmare Percy Shelley has while staying with Lord Byron and Mary Wollstonecraft Godwin (author of Frankenstein, the idea for which was borne of the same trip) at Villa Deodati. Shelley, terrified, describes a woman with eyes where her nipples should be. Someone may have already said this but I didn’t go through all the comments—the anthology still sounds rank, though. My guess is that Danzig is a fan of the movie Gothic with Gabriel Byrne and Julian Sands (a film about the trip to Villa Deodati). I am too, but it’s also trashy if I’m honest. LOL
i need this is my life.
The thing is, he had a vision of what he wanted to do. He had the imagination, money and passion to accomplish it. Kudos.The downside is he is so terrible to deal with and so egotistical that it already sews a disposition against anything he does. People were genuinely curious to see it, but many for the reason that they want to see him fail.
I’ve seen excerpts and yes, the author is right about how it goes down, but I’m willing to bet GD had access to people who could have helped him realize his vision better and his ego probably wouldn’t allow that. Know that I am a fan of his music along with Samhain and Misfits. So this comes from a fan perspective.
An excellent example of the ‘Here, smell this!’ genre of movie reviews.