Ready the tinfoil hats: Congress to hold open hearings on UFOs next week
The hearing will be the first of its kind in over 50 years
Aux Features Unidentified flying objects
Alright, now we’re finally getting somewhere: Next Tuesday, the U.S. House of Representatives is scheduled to hold open hearings on all those pesky unidentified flying objects (UFOs) unidentified aerial phenomenon (UAPs) buzzing around above the heads of small town Japanese residents, military personnel, Tom DeLonge, and President Obama. The public discussions are the first of their kind in over half a century—the last being the Project Blue Book investigations which ended back in 1970.
According to The New York Times earlier today, next week’s UAP chats come after Congress received a nine-page “Preliminary Assessment” authored by the Office of the Director of National Intelligence last June that analyzed 144 reported recent incidents, only to find that they could explain just one of them. One. So yeah, probably best to interview some experts on the issue.
And just who comprises the star-studded lineup of professionals ready to blow the lid off this whole UFO UAP thing? Why, both Ronald S. Moultrie, under secretary of defense for intelligence and security, and deputy director of naval intelligence, Scott W. Bray, obviously! Who else?
…Alright, so not the sexiest of names we were hoping to see slam down photos of autopsied aliens in front of Nancy Pelosi, but we’ll take what we can get here. If nothing else, those organizing the panel hope to shed at least some light on the genuinely perplexing sightings, as well as “reduce the stigma” for those in the military to come forward when they actually see something they can’t explain in the skies above us.
“This may be the very thing that brings Democrats and Republicans together, at least for an hour or two,” joked Rep. André Carson, chairman of the House Intelligence Committee’s subcommittee on counterterrorism, counterintelligence and counterproliferation. Ha ha! Good one, Rep. Carson! Nothing like making light of both human-borne and extraterrestrial existential threats.
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20 Comments
I’d be a lot more impressed by this if it wasn’t an election year.
Man, I feel like it’s been an election year since long before I was born, and I’m so fucking sick of it
Not only that, but it’s also the most important election year that’s ever been had, ever. At least, according to all of the email and text blasts I get, which is about fifteen a week now, all because I donated to the Sunrise Movement or whatever shit during lockdown.
The saddest part is, it probably is the most important election, but so were the last couple and after a while you can’t motivate people with that statement no matter how true it is.
Try running for office once. Trust me, you’d be begging to be on the outside looking in.
Mini-soapbox time! Technically, every year is an election year at some level. And if people would take it seriously every year, we maaaaaaybe might not be in such a dire situation we’re currently in.
Obligatory pedantic reminder that anything that’s flying and you don’t know what it is is a UFO. Doesn’t have to be aliens….or does it?
You’re right, in fact I consider aliens to be only the 3rd mostly likely cause of the truly unexplained aerial phenomena that have been captured in 2 or more media (camera+radar, eyewitness+radar, sonar+thermal, etc)1. is our own selves from the future doing god knows what, for god knows why
2. is signals or objects slipping through from another dimension that occupies the same space as us (intentionally or unintentionally slipping through)3. then and only then, do we get to aliens
Can we focus on identified flying objects first? Because birds are fucking weird as shit and I want answers, goddammit.
Birds aren’t real, dude…
But they’re angry!
Sponsored by Top Gun 2 and those are films of Maverick chasing Xenu.
They’ve been here for a long, long time.
Jokes on you, Drew. I ain’t never took mine off.
If there’s no aliens, then who keeps probing my anus?Explain THAT, skeptics!
Instead of a hearing on UAP, how about a hearing on WAP?
Is Bokeh a threat to civilization? Inquiring minds want to know.
I, for one, welcome our new alien extraterrestrial overlords. I mean, they can’t possibly be worse at getting things done than Congress.
What a great use of everyones time, what with the largest war in Europe in decades, the cultural backslide of womens rights, and LGBTQ people being attacked for culture war points by a party well past done with democracy. Yes lets talk about fucking dots in the sky please…