When COVID weight loss tips started flooding my feeds, I wanted to combat those bad takes by purchasing some fat body art. Then I realized I could just draw my own. So I stripped down to undies and stared at myself in the mirror, my sketchbook in hand. Shoulders, thighs, a hanging tummy: My body translated into a series of round, confident, complicated shapes. On paper, I looked strong. I looked powerful. I looked like a Crystal Gem.
Steven Universe had sustained me through the pandemic. As I binged episodes, and the twee theme song wormed its way permanently into my brain, the show’s depiction of fat bodies stunned me. In the animated series from Rebecca Sugar, 13-year-old Steven is raised by a trio of powerful otherworldly beings called the Crystal Gems. Lithe, graceful Pearl. Broad, strong Garnet. Stout, compact Amethyst. And half-human, half-Gem Steven—short and chubby and charming, jamming on pizza and fry bits as he comes to terms with his supernatural powers.
I grew up seeing fat bodies in cartoons as dopes, like Homer Simpson, or villains, like Ursula the Sea Witch. Even popular, athletic Fat Albert was often the butt of the joke. (Sometimes literally—in one episode, his friends tell him he must play the elephant’s backside in the neighborhood circus.) In Steven Universe, Steven’s body just exists. There is no morality behind being fat or thin; no discussion of “good” or “bad” bodies. In 2020, as my body shifted in lockdown and negative thoughts came a-knockin’, I clung tightly to this reminder.
I’ve published my own ’zines and comics for a decade. But I only recently started drawing myself as fat. I watched most of the show with a sketchbook on my lap, doodling away while Steven developed his powers. He lifted boulders and leapt chasms and galloped across deserts on his magical pet lion. His clumsiness came from inexperience, and never from his chubbiness.
I’ve been fat pretty much my whole life, but when I started drawing memoir comics in college, I drew my body the way I wanted it to be: skinny. I rarely saw bodies like mine reflected in the protagonists of the comics I read. I couldn’t help mimicking the slim shapes of Ghost World’s disaffected teens, or the willowy bodies in Craig Thompson’s Blankets. My drawings looked almost-but-not-quite like me. They had my thick glasses and my swoopy bangs, but they didn’t have my tummy or my thighs. In my first ’zine, published when I was 19, I drew myself with a “Doritos gut” on one page—a glimpse of my sloppiest, most secret self.
A world without fatphobia means a world without diet culture. In Beach City, Steven frequents Fish Stew Pizza and The Big Donut with no concerns about his weight. In fact, in the very first episode of the show, the euphoria of a Cookie Cat ice cream sandwich activates Steven’s mysterious gem powers. What a nice twist: That eating for joy can unlock hidden abilities. There are no cheat foods, no guilty pleasures, no demonizing carbs or calories. Fry bits are just fry bits. Steven’s favorite snacks don’t have any moral standing at all.
Watching Steven’s body move on screen helped me pay attention to how fat bodies move in their own distinct ways. When I took long walks through the city, I focused on how my center of gravity sat in my hips. I drew pictures of myself walking through Chicago at night, my limbs round and loose. Drawing myself this way shifted what I saw in the mirror. Instead of considering what I didn’t like, I eyed my reflection and thought, “Wow, how can I draw that?”
If you keep your eyes peeled, other contemporary cartoons are making progress in this area as well. Adventure Time’s Lumpy Space Princess continues a tradition of brash plus-sized confidence harkening back to Miss Piggy. She-Ra And The Princesses Of Power broke from the 1980s Barbie-bodied source material to reintroduce characters with diverse frames. Princess Glimmer started with a stocky, wide-hipped build—and some fans were upset when traumas (and a character redesign) slimmed her down. (The plus-sized Spinnerella stayed that way throughout the show’s five season run.)
Of course, trauma—and months in lockdown during an endless pandemic—can make us gain weight, too. As my body shifted from March to December, I fixated on one Steve Universe character in general. Steven’s absent mom, Rose Quartz, gave up her form to bring him into the world. She’s remembered as a friend, a lover, a protector, and the fierce leader of the Gem rebellion. And she’s fat. I particularly love the animation of her chubby hands and wrists. I grew up self-conscious of my hands, one body part in particular I could never hide. But in Steven Universe, I saw a cartoon hand that looks like mine, attached to a body that looks like mine. And the character was a badass war leader with a huge pink sword. She’s a total babe. In a flashback episode, Steven’s dad Greg recalls meeting Rose Quartz while he’s touring as a struggling musician—“eight feet tall, gigantic pink hair.” Her largeness is the very thing that draws him in. He woos her with an XXL tour T-shirt. I wish I’d watched that scene sooner in my life. It took the entirety of my twenties to learn that someone could be attracted to me not in spite of my fat body, but because of it.
And why not? Fat bodies rule! I understood that more and more, as I drew what I saw in the mirror. But before I could draw myself as a fat woman, I had to see myself as a fat woman. Not as a secret to be hidden behind flattering cuts and vertical stripes. Not as a “before” picture in a diet ad. And not as the cartoons I watched on the weekends, where fatness signified laziness or stupidity or greed.
Rose’s fat body signifies ferocity and compassion and power. Which brings up an important point in the show: On Earth, all bodies are chill. But on Home World, the Gems are ruled over by the cold, flawless Diamonds, who expect everyone to fit specific parameters. Any Gem who breaks this protocol is labeled “off-color” and shattered on sight. The whole point of the Crystal Gems’ rebellion is that Earth is a place where “flaws” can be celebrated or, even better, viewed as no big deal. The show’s big reveal—spoiler alert—is that Rose Quartz is actually a Diamond in disguise. I love that the form Rose chooses to represent rebellion and freedom is a fat body.
Loving my body went hand-in-hand with adding fat bodies to my media consumption. I watched Divine cavort and contort in John Waters movies. I built outfits inspired by plus-sized influencers like Gabi Fresh and Tess Holliday. I smashed like on Instagram accounts like Fat Art History and Historical Fat People. And I paid attention to my own reactions, from Steven Universe to Hulu’s Shrill to my own body in the mirror. These images shifted my brain from normalization to admiration—and then I started admiring my own body, too. During the pandemic, I’m learning that bodies will always change, but the ways we love our bodies can remain steadfast. I’m trying to see my body with gentleness, gratitude, and even a little awe. That takes a lot of work.
What a relief to peek into Steven’s world, to see what happens when a boy grows up with nothing but love and support. Sure, Steven Universe has shape-shifters and intergalactic teleportation and a whole island filled with sentient, Steven-shaped watermelons. But my favorite bit of fantasy is that Steven grows up in a world without the slightest whisper that his fat body will ever hold him back.
Have you ever drawn a blind contour? The whole point is that you don’t look down at your paper. You keep your eyes on the subject. As you focus on its lines and curves, your pen corresponds on the page. That’s how I drew my body in the mirror. And I saw it for what it was, free of judgement, not one thing I would change or hide. I made three portraits this way, and then I colored them in bright greens, pinks, and yellows. I pinned them above my mirror, where I can see them every day.
21 Comments
Love your contour drawings. They are divine (in every sense of the word). Movement, expression, authenticity – it’s all there. Great piece.
This is great. I love SU, and your work is a delight.
This is rad. Cool art and cool perspective.
Shameless plug alert: I’ve been writing reviews of each episode within the context of the whole series (meaning early posts are full of talk about where the show is going, etc.) since 2016 and I’ve only got sixteen more episodes until I’m finally done! The whole dang thing is currently longer than any Lord of the Rings or Harry Potter book, and I’m rull proud of it.
Wait, Glimmer’s body was officially redesigned? I just thought it was similar to SU where depending on the storyboard artist for the episode, her design might slightly vary.
Yeah, I think it’s more about the She-Ra art style evolving over the seasons than a real redesign effort. All of the characters change as the show progresses, which is common in most animated shows but also takes into account the fact that the characters are aging from teenager to young adults (the show takes place over 4 or 5 years I believe).
She got a bit taller and slimmer in later seasons but to me, it didn’t read as a change that happened as a result of a focus group or anything. I’ve known so many people who had “baby” fat that just kind of stretched when they had a growth spurt. What I loved about it in She-Ra is that it was never commented on one way or the other. There was never an episode where Glimmer learned to love her body or realize her worth “in spite” of her shape, and no one commented when she slimmed down. Bodies change some time. It just is.
Yeah, I took it more as she was growing up and got a bit taller. She-Ra was great in having a diversity of female body types.
I love how white people are so desperate to be oppressed they’ve created a world where you can choose to be oppressed by simply being unhealthy.
Amazing perspective, amazing journey, amazing work. Couldn’t agree more about fat bodies, body neutrality, etc. And She-Ra and Steven Universe are totally revolutionary in that way! They’ve been an inspiration to my own comics work. Plus, I usually don’t like blind contour drawings, but these are so great – so full of life.
This is wonderful! My partner and I have been revisiting (or visiting for the first time, in her case) Steven over the course of the pandemic, and its been wonderful to (re)discover all of the thoughtful, sensitive choices the folks creating this show made.As an artist and art teacher (who learned about this now-beloved show from an enthusiastic queer 9th-grader who championed it to me), I loved reading how this show influenced not just your attitudes toward yourself, but your approach to your artmaking, and the way you turn your artistic eye onto the world.This is just so great. Thank you for sharing!
we get it
you are fat
you are lazy except when looking for excuses
you are not going to better yourself
I’ve heard this show has very inconsistent character scales between episodes. Could that matter?
Oh man, I hear you.
My first time watch SU, I was watching the episode with the together breakfast and I thought to myself “and now he’s going to be chided for choosing this horribly unhealthy breakfast” and then he wasn’t. They wanted to have Together Breakfast with him. A part of my brain nearly broke.
And that kept happening. I kept expecting criticism and he kept getting support instead.
And that’s how I realized my upbringing was extremely toxic and started to work through it. If I’d only had this as a kid.
Honestly so many scenes in SU make me cry. Tears of learning self-love and tears of mourning a difficult childhood.
gross. change your diet
I agree that positive representation of fat bodies is good, and that SU is a net positive for kids in this instance. I also hate the pervasivness of diet culture and fat jokes in kid’s medias. But there’s stuff in this piece that sounds a little weird to me. Like the fact that you find it great that beach City only features fast food places serving stuff like pizza, fries and donuts.
The way you phrase it (“only fast food, no “cheat food”) , it sounds like you would take it bad if the characters were shown munching on cabbage, salad or vegetable soup once in a while, which is a little weird. But i suppose you are upfront about your bodies issues in this piece.
I guess to me it’s different because i am not US/canadian and the food i ate as a kids was a bit different. And also because i am an envirronmentalist and i hope to see shows like SU, who are ostensibly very cautious about representation & morality… try to be as cautious with some new themes.
I think it’s normal and traditional that kids media feature a lot of kid-friendly food, that’s high in fat, salt and sugar and easy to love for undevelopped palates (not bitter or spicy, easy textures)… it’s escapism from the reality of having to finish once’s broccolis, (or the darker reality of being hungry sometimes). But i must admit i didn’t love that they were always drinking sodas in cans/plastic cups and eating processed food in throwaway packaging. I think medias like this are prescriptors, and SU seems very aware of being stat. Showing those characters eating as much home-made plant-based stuff as they do pre-made donuts wouldn’t betray the body-positive message.
I agree that positive representation of fat bodies is good,
and that SU is a net positive for kids in this instance. I also hate
the pervasivness of diet culture and fat jokes in kid’s medias. But
there’s stuff in this piece that sounds a little weird to me. Like the
fact that you find it great that beach City only features fast food
places serving stuff like pizza, fries and donuts.
The
way you phrase it (“only fast food, no “cheat food”) , it sounds like
you would take it bad if the characters were shown munching on cabbage,
salad or vegetable soup once in a while, which is a little weird. But i
suppose you are upfront about your bodies issues in this piece.
I
guess to me it’s different because i am not US/canadian and the food i
ate as a kids was a bit different. And also because i am an
envirronmentalist and i hope to see shows like SU, who are ostensibly
very cautious about representation & morality… try to be as
cautious with some new themes.
I think it’s normal
and traditional that kids media feature a lot of kid-friendly food,
that’s high in fat, salt and sugar and easy to love for undevelopped
palates (not bitter or spicy, easy textures)… it’s escapism from the
reality of having to finish once’s broccolis, (or the darker reality of
being hungry sometimes). But i must admit i didn’t love that they were
always drinking sodas in cans/plastic cups and eating processed food in
throwaway packaging. I think medias like this are prescriptors, and SU
seems very aware of being stat. Showing those characters eating some home-made plant-based stuff sometimes wouldn’t betray the body-positive message. But at home, at restaurant, at friend’s, at gig’s, or in a fantastical
location, they were almost only eating processed kid-friendly foods,
drinking sugary juices, and rarelly ever anything else, and i think that
was taking it a bit too far. It seemed to be done on purpose and it started to put me off.
Your reply got me thinking. I don’t remember any sodas specifically in SU but you’re right in that there was a lot of boardwalk food specific to a tourist town – fries, pizza, donuts etc. When fresh fruit or veg comes into the show it’s always in the same plot showcasing of one of Steven’s powers. If he gets saliva on a seed and then plants it, it grows into a living animate plant-animal hybrid. Watermelon people, pumpkin dog, cactus Steven. There are hints that his mother used the same power maybe eons ago in Steven’s neighbours, a family of onion people.
Sometimes they eat fruits but as a snack. For exemple in the “Do it for her” sequence it’s slices of oranges served with a juice that looks like a Capri-Sun.
Didn’t catch than the Onion family was created by Rose Qwartz. I guess among other war crimes she has to answer for the abomination that is Onion.
It’s fleeting, but I’d like to celebrate the brief moment when three trolls were sharing nine stars. That’s what we call a troll circle jerk.
There’s one scene that really hit me in the later half of the show, when Steven escapes the sterile Gem Homeworld and, back in the safety of his own kitchen weeps in relief while eating a peanut-butter sandwich. There’s no dialog in this scene or any music; Steven is completely alone. It was kind of hammy but I felt for that kid.