It sure sounds like this guy wants to sue the NFL because the halftime show made him horny

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It sure sounds like this guy wants to sue the NFL because the halftime show made him horny
Screenshot: CoachDave.TV

Dave “Coach Dave” Daubenmire is a right-wing Christian activist most famous for videos where he advocates for reclaiming the term “homophobe”; gets real worked up about “male butt sex” via comparisons centered on, weirdly, washing your hands at Wendy’s; and screams about how being called “bigot” is comparable to a racist slur that he’s more than willing to start shouting to make his point. Now, after being forced to confront yet another of his seemingly endless dark nights of the soul during last Sunday’s Super Bowl halftime show, this paragon of moral clarity has found himself so horned up he wants to sue the NFL.

This plan was discussed on the Monday morning edition of Daubenmire’s YouTube livestream, which was excerpted in a clip from Right Wing Watch for those who aren’t into a full hour of this stuff. In it, the good coach announces that he thinks “we oughta sue” the people responsible for presenting Shakira and Jennifer Lopez’s terrifyingly sexy medley to those who just wanted to watch some good old-fashioned football without having to worry about going to hell in the process.

“Were there any warnings before that Super Bowl halftime show?” he asks. “Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old young son, whose hormones are just getting ready, just starting to operate… Was there any warning that what he’s going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”

His blood pressure rising—perhaps even higher than it did when the sinful Super Bowl cameras zoomed in on Shakira’s truth-telling hips shaking from side to side—Daubenmire suggests heading to court to hear if the “right to porn” trumps his “right to watch it.” He screams about not having been sufficiently warned about “crotch shots” (J.Lo, we learn, is well-known to the secular world as “an expert in crotch shots”) and says it’s “discriminatory” to mix his desire to watch football with his fear that having seen scantily clad women might stop him from getting into “the kingdom of Heaven” and “put [him] in danger of hellfire.” He caps off the point about how “they won’t even let you talk about homos on Facebook!” and quickly estimates the damages he’d seek at “about $867 trillion.”

Just in case you thought Coach Dave wasn’t serious, he posted a video on his detested Facebook to clear up what he meant about “the debauchery” that he admits he “didn’t even have it come into my house” because “past Super Bowls” forewarned him of the evil. Instead, he looked up clips filled with those gosh-darned “crotch shots” and, having thought clearly about all of this, says he still plans to find a lawyer who’s ready to help him sue the NFL, Pepsi, and anyone else he holds responsible.


Watch the above for more elaborations on this theme, including an aside that compares the halftime show to him bringing his “two very attractive daughters” into a public school to “sit down and twerk and do crotch shots.” While he works on getting the roughly $867 trillion payout he rightfully deserves, let us hope that his lawyer at least advises him to avoid these kinds of analogies in the future.

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405 Comments

  • weirdstalkersareweird-av says:

    Oh. K.Let me know when he fucking dies.

    • sarcastro7-av says:

      Seriously.  Why can’t this guy also announce his late-stage cancer?

    • nosleep4giant-av says:

      Just let him hook up with the lady that was complaining about Cam Newton’s dancing and they can screw each other for an eternity on top of a foosball table, leaving the rest of us alone to never hear their asinine bitching again.

  • ralphm-av says:

    What a complete tit!

    • panthiopliconica-av says:

      You’ll be hearing from my lawyers.

    • lattethunder-av says:

      Given the targets of his ire, “complete ass” seems more appropriate.

    • presidentzod-av says:

      including an aside that compares the halftime show to him bringing his “two very attractive daughters” into a public school to “sit down and twerk and do crotch shots.”That’s ….4 tits? And 2 crotches?

    • hell-iph-i-kno-av says:

      Were there any warnings before you posted that? 

      Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old young son, whose
      hormones are just getting ready … just starting to operate … Was
      there any warning that what he’s going to read in your post and it might cause him to get
      sexually excited?

      • sassinak11-av says:

        I will seriously never understand the idiots in the US.Sex (assumed to be between different genders) = BadAttractive woman dancing = VERY badSex between people of the same gender = VERY VERY BadSex between people of the different races = Bad (but the most often viewed porn ironically)Guns = GoodGuns murdering people (regardless of stripes) = Very GoodCursing = Its ok… (not too bad)Cursing in the name of god = GoodAttempted Rape = BadAttempted Rape involving someone that professes they are a christian = Its ok… (not too bad)Lying = (to me, VERY bad… but to someone else, Good)I mean its almost like the bible they profess to love so much they never really listen to at all and like to interpret on the fly as long as it meets their needs.

    • chuckrich81-av says:

      We’re not talking about the Janet Jackson halftime show.

    • mjensenwv-av says:

      you’ve just sexually aroused 12 year old boys across the internet.

    • heywooducuddleme-av says:

      Total wanker

  • lattethunder-av says:

    Be back in a few. Gonna Google pics of this dude’s daughters.

  • presidentzod-av says:

    He’s complaining because it’s so easy for him to get a boner? Is that the gist of this thing? Because people pay reeeeeallly good money these days to get a boner. Or, uh, so I’ve heard.

    • westerosironswanson-av says:

      Exactly. His cause of action is that getting an angry boner . . . damaged him? And in fact caused him damage in the amount of *does some quick googling* roughly 9x the total amount of wealth owned by everyone in the United States?Honest to goodness, I think exposing his 12-year old son to this might have been the best thing that could have happened to said kid. Because it might just acclimate him to the fact that the responsibility is on a man to control his erections, rather than on society to shield him from things that might cause erections.

      • lattethunder-av says:

        He doesn’t have a 12-year-old son. He has an adult son who likes downloading kiddie porn.

      • presidentzod-av says:

        I think he’s got a crucifix on his hat. That’s like, an upside down boner in this case, I guess? Like, down with boners?This dude is obsessed with dick, in all it’s turgid, or lack thereof, forms.

      • btaker-av says:

        And in fact caused him damage in the amount of *does some quick googling* roughly 9x the total amount of wealth owned by everyone in the United States?Yeah, but they are going to need that much money if this becomes a class action lawsuit and every aroused person in the world tries to get a cut.

      • mjensenwv-av says:

        to be fair, walking through the women’s section in your average Wal-Mart is enough to get a 12 year old boy sexually aroused. “Are those socks?” *Boing*

        • davidcarroll3-av says:

          From the West Wing:Evangelical: “Show a teenage boy pornography and his mind turns to thoughts of lust”Toby: “Reverend, show a teenage boy a lug wrench and his mind turns to thoughts of…

        • schlamispit-av says:

          A gentle breeze could get me aroused when i was 12.

          • mjensenwv-av says:

            why’d you have to mention gentle breezes? Now I have to go to the bathroom.

          • schlamispit-av says:

            Pro Tip: bathroom air “hand” dryers can give you that steady breeze.  Careful with they dyson ones though….

      • lennyvalentin-av says:

        You’d think his last name was Kellogg, the way he goes on about the sexual thoughts of 12-year-old boys… What a freakshow, seriously.

      • cgo2370-av says:

         Dismiss the screeching allcaps troll, there’s nothing of value there. 

      • taumpytearrs-av says:

        To be fair, when you are 12 years old you absolutely cannot control your boners. You can control what you DO with said boners and learn to be respectful and responsible, but you have no control over the pup tent in your gym shorts or the ever terrifying “getting called up to the black board when you are FULLY erect, like more erect than you will ever naturally be at any other point later in life, because the universe is playing a cruel cosmic joke on everyone going through puberty.”

    • professorzoom-av says:

      He’s probably madder because he couldn’t get a boner

    • breb-av says:

      I’m pretty sure he already had a boner watching a bunch of sweaty meatheads smash helmets.

    • andtrollingishalfthebattle-av says:

      That boner is the literal key to the gates of hell.

    • cybersybil3-av says:

      It is the responsibility of society to remove all temptation from his sight, much in the same way that it’s a woman’s responsibility to keep completely clothed at all times lest a man catch a glimpse of her bare ankle and be lured into lustful thoughts.

    • slowlycrazy-av says:

      Or because he does not want to admit that he was more turned on by, what’s his butt, last year shirtless on stage… and his butt

    • machume-av says:

      I’m pretty sure he’s actually suing because he didn’t get a boner. Your really hard-core self-hating closet case tends to also be a prude about displays of heteronormative sexuality, because their lack of reaction to it reminds them of the thing they’re desperately trying to repress.

    • rallybeetle-av says:

      He’s complaining because he wants to get that NFL money.Godspeed, sir.

    • tomcat1483-av says:

      I mean according to every other advertisement I see on…. completely legitimate websites I frequent. that is an issue….

    • SarDeliac-av says:

      No, the claim that “hot women turn me on” is his beard.

    • touch-me-av says:

      Did you bother to watch the video? he’s talking about how people are getting a stripclub perforamance without any warning in their homes while watching a football game.

    • secondmouse-av says:

      We’ve all learned something here: Kneeling before Zod could put an eye out.

    • heywooducuddleme-av says:

      He’s also complaining that his 12-year-old son got a boner. From what I (female) understand, he’s going to be very, very busy the next ten years or so if he’s going to sue everyone and everything that gets his son a boner

    • ichibahls-av says:

      He’s complaining because after four hours, he had to see his doctor.

    • eatthecheesenicholson2-av says:

      He seems to think that accidentally getting a boner is a mortal sin. Which 1) it’s been awhile since I was in Sunday school, but I don’t recall that being a thing. If anything the opposite: there are just pages and pages about people fucking.2) $867 trillion isn’t NEARLY enough to compensate you if you truly believe the NFL has caused you and your family to burn for eternity in a lake of fire. Unless you really hate your family.3) I was raised Catholic, so I know that you just have to go to church, tell a priest you got a boner to Shakira and J Lo (and also, chose not to leave the room or just turn off the TV during halftime, for reasons we will never know), then you do a dozen Hail Marys, and then you’re all cool with God.

    • vinylrake1-av says:

      He’s complaining because he’s a rabid conservative in a religion that has taught him that everything about sex is wrong.  To say he’s ‘conflicted’ is the understatement of the century.  Religion tends to really fuck people up in regards to sex and normal functions of the human body.  This guy isn’t even a very extreme example.

    • toooooooooot-av says:

      his son was charged for child porno. there is a genetic disposition in this family, they  have some weird sexual problems.

  • shadowplay-av says:

    “I did not watch the halftime show live, but you better believe that I watched and rewatched clips over and over in the past week. Using every available watching technologies, including pausing, slo-motion, close-ups. (Oh man the close-ups.)All in the confines of my locked darkened study on my internets.”

    • kencerveny-av says:

      “Strictly for research, of course.”

    • stephdeferie-av says:

      come on, that’s clearly not a quote from him………..he would’ve used the words “crotch shot” several times.

      • shadowplay-av says:

        “I studied every crotch-shot extensively. From every available crotch-shot angle I could grab. I searched other crotch-shots throughout previous Halftime shows to compare to this year’s series of crotch-shots. I even looked down other, darker avenues of the internet to research crotch-shots. Believe me, I have first-hand experience of the corruptive nature of crotch-shots.”

      • loopychew-av says:

        I was wondering why you were going to say “that’s clearly not a quote from him…OF COCK!” but I guess I don’t have to wonder about that.

    • secondmouse-av says:

      Best part of this: All of his future Youtube recommendations.Algorithms are the Devil’s math!

  • bryanska-av says:

    Anyone angrily vlogging into a camera while in a car, is a nutjob. What is up with that venue being the place for white bearded guys to finally get things off their chest. 

  • coolmanguy-av says:

    This dude definitely jerks it to extremely weird porn

  • robert-denby-av says:

    He caps off the point about how “they won’t even let you talk about homos on Facebook!”I’ll admit to a lack of familiarity with Facebook, but I’m fairly confident that there are a few LGBTQ+ groups operating on that platform talking specifically about homos.

    • yummsh-av says:

      I’ve got homos all over my Facebook. Sometimes they’re in groups, sometimes not. Most times they’re just kinda there.

    • mjensenwv-av says:

      If the gentleman is searching for a place where he may be freely allowed to discuss “the homos”, maybe he should try grindr.

    • timtheninja-av says:

      A large portion of my friend base are gay. They talk about being gay all the time. They do not get banned for it.It’s almost like the kind of “talking about homos” matters. 

  • precognitions-av says:

    if shakira gets sued she won’t have to swear under oath, since her hips don’t lie

  • hellboyfriend-av says:

    I want him to go through with this lawsuit so badly, but I know no lawyer would ever waste their time on this.

    • kencerveny-av says:

      A big retainer and desire for a high-profile, bullshit case may change any one of a number of lawyers’ minds. Damn winning. Think of the billings and publicity!

    • lattethunder-av says:

      Watch Dershowitz do it.

    • smalleyxb122-av says:

      There has to be a pro-boner joke in there somewhere.

    • 50drunksinabar-av says:

      Rudy would do it pro-bono.

    • lucilletwostep-av says:

      Oh yes, some lawyer will DEFINITELY take this, but they won’t take it on a contingency fee basis (that’s where you think you might win). They’ll charge him for a retainer and then billable hours. Bleed him dry for this foul cause … fine by me!

      • hellboyfriend-av says:

        you make a very good point. now i want him to go through with this even more! i wonder how much it’s worth to him?

    • backpedalpussycat-av says:

      If he has enough money for a retainer, some lawyer will definitely file papers for him. I’m certain some lawyer out there could easily milk him for a couple years while filing paperwork that’ll never go anywhere.

  • alliterator85-av says:
  • joe2345-av says:

    My first thought was is this guy is just really horny for Latina singers but then I started to get that Lindsey Graham vibe as well. A few stiff drinks will loosen this guy up and we can get to the bottom of this either way 

    • sarcastro7-av says:

      “stiff”
      “loosen”
      “bottom”

      Careful with your posting, friend – you might be hearing from Captain Fuckwit’s lawyers with horny talk like that.

  • robert-denby-av says:

    Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be a Christian and believe that your omnibenevolent Creator set you up in a world specifically designed to land you in eternal torment.

    • congo23-av says:

      Well, he doesn’t believe his creator did that. He believes it’s the rest of us, and the NFL with our darned Free Will that’s trying to undercut him at every turn.

    • Bladecutter-av says:

      Honestly, if watching Shakira and J Lo shake it up is all that gets this guy put in hell for eternity, I say that it’s well worth it.And also, the dingbat didn’t even watch the Halftime Show when it was LIVE.
      He waited until after the game was over, when (hopefully) none of his children were around, and now he feels violated.The fact that he avoided it when it was live, and seeked it out afterwards, would guarantee that even if he tried to file a lawsuit, it would get thrown out.But that does guarantee his one way trip to Hell, however.
      He looked at something he considers porn.
      He’s fucked.

      • merchantfan1-av says:

        Not to mention the Super Bowl isn’t usually a chaste affair. There’s always a few “sexy” ads and previous costumes include Janet Jackson’s costume and act not even including the pastie grab, Prince, *Madonna*, Beyonce etc

    • touch-me-av says:

      Imagine that a mammal like you with limited brain cells could fathom the way a higher being (supposedly a God) thinks.

    • nopertol-av says:

      You don’t have to wonder. You live in the USA, where it feels like a nonstop Hell these days for anyone that doesn’t bow to the Cross.

    • kencerveny-av says:

      He does it because he loves you!

    • sxp151-av says:

      It’s hell.

    • wombat23-av says:

      there are different schools of though in Christianity. many, including the one i follow do not see hell as a place you are sent, but one you go to when you cut God out of your life. Hell is sparsely detailed in the bible, usually referring to ghennom which was a real place people went to dispose of garbage. But its less that God set up a furnace to burn people and more that people’s lives either draw them closer to or farther from God, and when we die its not that god chucks us into the fire, but that we walk away from god into the place of lost things. Just as heaven is not some charmin commercial with harps, but the closeness of God. but its more a choice we make of what we are drawn to. material things and pleasures, or oneness with god. obviously, this is one of many interpretations, and for others, they like the furnace..but thats more a place for them to want people they do not like to go, rather than where they think THEY will go. And before we get judging them. Did you joke when the koch brother died that he was in hell? lotta people did. How often do we joke about Hitler being in hell? For some people’s sense of justice, if there is a place after life that is merit based, there has to be a place for bad people to get theirs too.and pedantically, christianity is not the only religion with a hell, buddhism has naraka, shinto has the jigyokos, some forms of judaism have sheol and the aforementioned ghenom. basically the idea that the bad are punished and good rewarded is ingrained deep in humanity, so if hell didn’t exist, maybe we had to create one.and for the topi at hand, this uy most likely is what i call a “control christian” and primarily follows a nationalized, deeply secular version of Christianity that is less about god or love, and more about laws and rules to give him outgroups to hate and ingroups to zealously defend. I would bet money he has a trump hat. I’m not a fan of this interpretation, but a lot of other old white guys do seem to like it a lot.

      • velocity6-av says:

        TL;DR: It’s more nuanced then Madptarmigan is making it seem and this guy is just what some might call a “God and Country Christian” who is so extremely legalistic he loses sight of the love and grace part about what he actually believes.

    • weeptalker-av says:

      So…is he implying Roger Goodell is Satan? Because he might have a case there.

  • cinecraf-av says:

    Even odds this guy later gets busted in a sting soliciting an underage male. One does not protest this much unless they are compensating for…something.

  • darthchimay-av says:

    Who wants to bet his lawyer will turn out to be Larry Klayman?

  • pontiacssv-av says:

    “to those who just wanted to watch some good old fashioned football without having to worry about going to hell in the process.”So watching a bunch of guys running around in spandex who a jumping on each other. 

  • kencerveny-av says:

    Instead, he looked up clips filled with those goshdarned “crotch shots”
    And watched them repeatedly

  • roboj-av says:

    It aint just him. Far-righties/evangelicals have been doing their usual screeching and hollering online about how those durn Latins corrupted the yooths of murica with their blasphemous, skimpy cloths and their anti-Trump, pro illegals “propaganda.” Seriously:https://www.redstate.com/brandon_morse/2020/02/03/the-halftime-2020-show-was-a-social-media-ready-political-message/https://hiplatina.com/super-bowl-too-sexy-racism/

  • fronzel-neekburm-av says:

    They’re going to throw this out. I tried to sue the Saw movies for the same thing. 

  • btaker-av says:

    I don’t understand. If his 12 year old son sees the show and gets sexually excited, wouldn’t that be a good thing? I would think that all homophobic parents would want make their adolescent boys watch it just to be sure they pitch a tent and are growing up straight.

  • nilus-av says:

    Just to confirm, this is the sport that features sideline entertainment from women dressed in short short skirts and/or hot pants shaking their asses and boobs right? Yeah I thought soSo what is the over/under that this guy is doing this, at least partially, because he a racist and two latinx women gave him a boner?

    • dead-elvis-av says:

      That’s his excuse, when it was really the football men in tight pants that tested his zipper.

    • Enginerrrrrrrrr-av says:

      It could actually be more basic than that in that he can’t believe this CHRISTIAN NATION could possibly be ok with showing scantily clad women arousing men in public and getting paid to do it!

    • westerosironswanson-av says:

      Well, and also, Shakira is the younger of the two performers, and has had a career based on suggestive dancing for . . . what, twenty-some odd years at this point? I remember first hearing about her as a Britney Spears clone at either the end of high school or early college years, which was twenty years ago now. Point being, she’s a known commodity. You know what you’re going to get when you get a Shakira performance, and suggestive dancing that gives you ideas is what you’re going to get. It’s bit like he got a halftime performance from Johnny Cash, and then was surprised and outraged by the fact that Cash seemed sympathetic to people in prison and the poor.

      • CassiusLonginus-av says:

        Britney Spears cloneHoly shit. This has got to be the WRONGEST description of Shakira I’ve ever heard. Especially back when she was just venturing outside the Latin market.Also, what is more suggestive, a heritage form of dance that involves shaking hips or a “dance” where the “artist” is essentially enacting an orgy with clothes on?

        • westerosironswanson-av says:

          Well, okay friend, keep in mind that as a male, who preferred the Metallica and Nine Inch Nails that had been pushed off MTV in favor of the boy bands and Britney Spears clones that supplanted them, and had reliable access to the internet because I was entering or in college at the time, I was outside of her target demographic. Cut me a little slack here; I’m not saying that’s what she was, merely that this was what she was marketed as. There was Britney Spears, and there was Jessica Simpson, there was Shakira as individual performers, and then there were groups like Destiny’s Child. None of these were in my wheelhouse, but they were all things that were on MTV at the time, that seemed to be designed by marketing teams to closely copy one another once Britney Spears provided a strong proof of marketing concept.

          • lucilletwostep-av says:

            No man, just no. Men with access to the internet were PRECISELY Shakira’s target demo in the early 2000’s. Who do you think those hips were shaking for? Just admit that you were wrong in making the Britney comparison.

          • westerosironswanson-av says:

            Who do you think those hips were shaking for?
            13-year olds whose only alternative was the brassiere section of the Sears catalog? I could be spitballing here, I came out of a religious community that was, um, well pretty much as screwed-up in their assessment of proper sexuality as the guy complaining about Shakira here. But I stand by my assessment that Shakira was marketed as a step along an axis that as a nineteen year-old, I was supposed to be past. I will happily concede that she’s not a Britney Spears clone. But again, I’m talking about Joanne and Cletus, we-buy-five-albums-a-year marketing here. She was not marketed to me.

          • redraidereducator-av says:

            As a man who was growing up at the same time, albeit possibly a little younger, he wasn’t alone in his assumption. Yes, she shook her hips, but to a metal-head teenage boy in the early aughts, getting caught listening to Shakira or Britney Spears would make one a pariah. It’s a shame too, because she has a gorgeous voice, which I had forgotten about until the SuperBowl 

          • westerosironswanson-av says:

            Yeah, that’s the thing. I’m not trying to say anything about the quality of her music, and as a matter of fact, when it comes to music, I really kind of regret pigeonholing myself in the metal and hard rock scene back then, because there are a lot of really great singers and bands that I know little about just because they weren’t the music I was supposed to associate with. Like for instance, Heart? Heart is a really damn good band, lemme tell ya. As someone who likes guitar licks and a strong groove, Heart is exactly the kind of music I should have loved when I was discovering contemporary bands like the Rolling Stones, or Led Zeppelin or AC/DC (Heart’s actually been around for a long time). But I didn’t listen to it then, purely because it was “that girl band”. And that kind of stupidity sucks.So I have no problem saying that Shakira’s a great performer or singer, even if I have no familiarity with her aside from having caught “Whenever, Whereever” on its initial rotation. I’m just saying that she was definitely marketed as “Well, if you like Britney Spears, here’s a Hispanic version of Britney Spears for you!”, in the same way that Alizee was marketed as French Britney Spears, or Jessica Simpson was marketed as Extra Virgin Britney Spears. I don’t doubt that the marketing was wrong, just that was what the marketing was.

          • redraidereducator-av says:

            I think that was the case for many, if not most, young men, and one of the many factors that creates toxic masculinity. I remember during one of my first years teaching I put Alicia Keys on, and one particular student kept going on about how ‘that’s gay.’ After about 10 minutes of that, I asked him ‘soooo lemme get this right. It’s gay to listen to a female singer?’ ‘Obviously.’ ‘So please, elaborate for me and the rest of the class how it’s more masculine to have a dude sing to you.’The silence was deafening. And thankfully I discovered Heart during my freshmen year, but that was about the only female led group at the time, only to switch to Metallica and The Misfits during my sophomore year, then followed by East Coast and Houston rap my senior year. But now, as I make the trek into my third decade? Give me everything, just be good at what you do. I’m always on the hunt for new stuff, regardless of genre

          • presidentzod-av says:

            Fiona Apple’s Criminal video for the WIN.

          • amoralpanic-av says:

            Reasonably certain that video accelerated the onset of puberty for me.

          • merchantfan1-av says:

            Her crawling in leather pants in Whenever, Wherever played a definite role in my bisexual development. 

          • rktman16-av says:

            She was definitely in the “make dudes that are way older than you horny to sell records” mold. I think pretty much all young female singers were kinda cast in that role back in the late 90s/early aughts

          • stefanjammers-av says:

            I’m like you, and I’m wondering if you’re mistaking Shakira for Christine Aguilera. She was definitely in the Britney mold. 

          • xiratix-av says:

            You don’t have to explain yourself to that weirdo. 

        • presidentzod-av says:

          Hi. I got an RSS notification there’s an orgy?

        • seanbond007-av says:

          I think the “Britney clone” thing started because she jumped into (kinda corny) American pop music right around the time that she also dyed her hair blonde. Not saying I agree with it (I listened to her music for years before she broke into the English music world, so I knew she wasn’t), but I believe that was the gist of what I heard when she came over.

        • secondmouse-av says:

          “Point being…”

      • schlamispit-av says:

        Christina Aguilera was known as the Britney clone.

      • presidentzod-av says:

        Wait, Johnny Cash is sympathetic to what now???? 

      • rktman16-av says:

        This is what had me in stitches “ evangelicals enraged and totally caught off guard that two female entertainers do exactly what they have been doing for decades”

      • ripley2333-av says:

        “I remember first hearing about her as a Britney Spears clone”Ah GMG Commenters, never change being so terrible. 

      • kityglitr-av says:

        And considering that dance is cultural and has been around for at least hundreds of years I just don’t know what to say…

    • blindlemonchitlin-av says:

      LatinX is not a word, stop using it.

    • touch-me-av says:

      Yeah let’s go comparing women dressing shorts to a porn show, what a retard, are you even allowed to be here without supervision?

    • taumpytearrs-av says:

      “Yeah, but them cheerleaders speak ‘Murican!” Also, football has commercial breaks, right? And commericals still use scantily clad women and men to sell shit, right? I would also like to see his head explode when I suggest that his 12 year old boy might also be aroused by watching all those big men in tight pants getting rough and sweaty with each other.

    • diabolik7-av says:

      That’s what his tumour of a brain is complaining about. His withered evil libtard cock got turned on by two racially impure harlots. You know what they say, Coach Dave, if thy right eye offends thee….. 

  • elvis316-av says:

    It is pervy he dragged his 12 year old boy into this. 

  • bartfargomst3k-av says:

    So, by that logic, did watching Adam Levine lip-synching with his shirt off last year make this guy turn gay?

  • sonicoooahh-av says:

    If “Right Wing Watch” wasn’t a division of Norman Lear’s “People for the American Way”, I’d suspect it was the product of an FSB troll farm based on this post.It sounds like something from their playbook. Take some uttering from a person with a handful of social media followers — a couple of clicks shows this guy has almost 1700 followers on Facebook — then blow it up to highlight divisions and motivate several voting blocs, sometimes even opposing groups with the same content because a divided America is a Russian goal.People who record videos of themselves in parking lots are not national news.

  • kgoody-av says:

    don’t give this boner poppin weirdo the attention

  • presidentzod-av says:

    Some Christian. He’s clearly forgotten the true meaning of Christmas- its the soft glow of electric sex. #RalphieKnows@1:14

  • reallydoingthis-av says:

    I’d say the worst take from from a male writer at the Boston Herald who questioned why this “lurid” halftime show wasn’t denounced by all those #MeToo-supporting women. https://www.bostonherald.com/2020/02/04/metoo-movements-silence-over-shaikra-j-los-shameless-show-is-deafening/First of all, dude get in your fucking lane (seriously – the dude is an old white man who writes columns about how horrible the Democrats are; it’s not like he’s actually got a thoughtful, nuanced perspective on sexual harassment). Second of all, MeToo isn’t about making women chaste little purity dolls. Women are allowed to be sexy/sexual – when they want to, on their own terms. Without, you know, being harassed or assaulted because of it. How fucking hard is that to understand? I swear, didn’t Trump make it easier for these fuckers to just out and out say, “I hated hearing all that goddamn foreign language on the TV while all them Spaniards pranced around”? Why do these idiots have to pretend to act like they’re protecting the sexual purity of this nation?

  • Tristain7-av says:

    “Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old young son, whose hormones are just getting ready … just starting to operate … Was there any warning that what he’s going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?” Your 12-year-old son gets boners ALL THE TIME… he probably gets them while sitting right next to you watching wholesome Christian programming. That’s what bodies do!

  • seanpiece-av says:

    $867 trillion is more wealth than actually exists in the world.

    You know, I’m starting to think this guy might be being a bit unreasonable.

  • hemmorhagicdancefever-av says:

    Puritan Crank Posts YouTube Rant, news at 11.

  • minimaus-av says:

    Daubenmire suggests heading to court to hear if the “right to porn” trumps his “right to watch it.”

    Wait until he finds out what trumps Americans’ right to not get shot…

  • hell-iph-i-kno-av says:

    Boy, Dave “Coach Dave” Daubenmire is really an ISIS kind of guy.  He’d fit right in with Iran’s Guidance Patrols.

  • gargsy-av says:

    Hey, let’s give this bigot some publicity!!! What a great idea!

  • cab1701-av says:

    What a piece of SHIT.

  • drkschtz-av says:

    The fact that the global connectivity of the internet *can* give people like this a larger megaphone, doesn’t mean that it *should*.

  • nilus-av says:

    So many questions1) Why is he filming from his car?2) Why is he called coach?3)  Why does he keep saying “Crotch Shot”?

    • huntadam-av says:

      I can only answer #1. It’s clear from 99.999% of MAGA type profile pictures that you’re only taken seriously if it’s taken in some sort of vehicle and with sunglasses on.

    • kencerveny-av says:

      I’m sure that “coach” is a nickname he either gave himself or was used sarcastically by an acquaintance and it just stuck.

  • Spoooon-av says:

    Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old young son, whose hormones are just getting ready … just starting to operate … Was there any warning that what he’s going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?Dude, he’s 12. Seeing a washer and dryer is enough to get him sexually excited.

  • jskenekene-av says:

    Has he met with Avenatti yet?

  • brandonihateusernames-av says:

    I’ve been following this guys for years, just because I love to scream at my laptop… But he’s a nobody with a minimal following who loves this kind of attention, which just fuels him to spit out more of this kind of content, which his few followers eat up. This article could just as well have said guy from Ohio who’s known for making idiotic commits makes another one about the supper bowl. Watch if you want to get pissed off.

  • kyletrail-av says:

    Who’s empowering this turd? Seriously.What a buffoon.

  • DrewPWeiner-av says:

    TVs have these things called “channels” that you’re able to change when whatever you happen to be watching isn’t entertaining you anymore. But for some mysterious reason Christards don’t seem to be able to push the little buttons. 

    • schlamispit-av says:

      “Jesus take the remote”

    • kencerveny-av says:

      There’s even a number of these “channels” dedicated strictly to Christian broadcasting (18 on my cable system, by last count). That, however, isn’t enough for some people. They want all programming to reflect their personal, so-called “values”.

  • tehncb-av says:

    It’s all fun and games until you remember that the nimrods in the league office actually did sue M.I.A. for $16.6M for flipping the audience the bird during her half-time performance at SB XLVI. Fun fact: a few years after pressuring her to take an absolutely batshit insane settlement offer from the league, her then-“agent”, Jay-Z, magically went to become the NFL’s “social justice czar” or whatever the hell they’re calling him.

  • jesus-presley-av says:

    Lol religion

  • udundiditv2-av says:

    This guy bought everything in the “angry white dude who rants in his car” starter pack.

  • harclerode76-av says:

    I cannot WAIT until the ironically contradictory skeletons start rolling out of this fuckwit’s closets.From a purely psychological standpoint, it’ super interesting telling that he uses what his daughters could do as a comparison to the thing that resulted in his…uh…episode of “Angerection Syndrome”.

  • smalleyxb122-av says:

    Where were the warnings?!!!I didn’t watch it because I knew what to expect.???Where were the warnings that your youtube clip contained unhinged batshit ramblings?I haven’t watched it, because I know what to expect, but where were the warnings?Expect my lawsuit forthwith.

  • pdoa-av says:

    I’d love to ask one of these wingnuts what they think of cheerleaders, then watch them contort. 

  • the-easter-bunny-av says:

    fucking dumbass

  • becauseyouareacoward-av says:

    I remember being a 12/13 year old boy.  It didn’t take Shakira and JLO for my hormones to rage.  A gust of wind could have set me off.

  • yesidrivea240-av says:

    Just be glad you don’t need Viagra yet my dude.

  • nogelego-av says:

    This is life imitating Phil Hendrie. I’m 99% certain this was a Steve Bosell bit at some point. I’m wondering if this guy hired the services of Delores Blasingame.

  • richardalinnii-av says:

    If this guy had any chance of winning, I’ll sign up to be part of this class action lawsuit. You might ask, oh what about your soul, Bob? Jokes on you, I’m a ginger and I want to get paid.

  • phutnick-av says:

    First, I have to give the caveat that I didn’t watch the videos because I’d like to keep my lunch where it is.That said, it seems like about half the time these guys end up going away when they get caught with a mouth full of cock. Possible that he’s actually mad because he didn’t get a boner?

  • filthyharry-av says:

    It’s incredible how many of these issues are predicated by people publicly acknowledging their complete inability to speak to their children about life. What’s so hard? “See that boy? That’s an ass!”

  • SabrinaQ-av says:

    Conservatives: “trigger warnings” lol
    Conservatives, also: OMG why did no one warn me the football dancing lady could turn me on!

  • rbrazil89-av says:

    Oh wow, I scrolled by this yesterday and thought it was a joke.I don’t need to know what makes old creepy white guys turned on.

  • congo23-av says:

    I’ll bet when he found out the meaning and origin of the Shakira tongue-flicking, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

  • ummyeahkotaku-av says:

    Why is this guy worth an article? Has anyone heard of ‘this guy’ before reading this article? His videos barely have any views

  • larrydoby-av says:

    Are we sure this guy isn’t Sasha Baron Cohen?

  • pedrosilva03-av says:

    Every year. The best one was when this same thing happened to other guy but the performer was Prince.

  • destron-combatman-av says:

    This dude needs to be put down.

  • lukewarmest-av says:

    He admitted in the first 30 seconds that because he didn’t approve of past halftime shows, he knew to turn off the TV for this one. Then he goes on to complain that the basis of his lawsuit is that nobody who tuned in for football knew that “debauchery” was coming at halftime. I hope a smart lawyer can bilk this idiot for all he’s got.

  • CalmDownItsTheInternet-av says:

    So much projection in that first video, good god. 

  • future-next-gen-s2000-owner-av says:

    Watching Shakira is never a sin. The only sin is a lack of Shakira in one’s life.

  • justsomerandoontheinternet-av says:

    But he has no problems watching players concuss themselves into a coma, or the fact the NFL has a large number of domestic abusers, and some felons, as employees…

  • nickysix416-av says:

    With all of the focus on the halftime show, I’m concerned that we’re forgetting our vulnerable young men and women who may have been corrupted by the close up shots and tight pants on all of the football players during the regular game. Who will advocate for them???

  • will-alib-av says:

    The baseball cap with a cross on it looks like something you’d see on South Park. 

  • chuckrich81-av says:

    “Were there any warnings before that Super Bowl halftime show?” he asks.admits he “didn’t even have it come into my house” because “past Super Bowls” forewarned him

  • prgames-av says:

    so his TV doesnt have an on off button and only gets one channel?  Who forced him to watch?

  • brillocubus-av says:

    As a former 12 year old boy I can attest that it took almost nothing to get me “sexually excited”. Hell, as a 45 year old man, it doesn’t take much…

  • davidr1982-av says:

    I suddenly have an urge to re-watch the halftime show on youtube. Thanks!

  • fartingvigilante-av says:

    Can you imagine being so sexually repressed that a little booty shake on TV sends you this far over the edge? Religion has done so much damage to us as human beings.

  • taoka-av says:

    I slowly start to understand the people who simply hate all mankind…its so ridiculous. I bet he has no problem to give a 12 year a high caliber weapon and train him to shoot. Oh and by the way its the same guy that said this “Daubenmire: Airplane Chemtrails Are Chemical Weapons”. No not only a right wing idiot but a total lunatic that thanks to the internet got some voice. And people give him the 15 Minutes of Fame he so badly wants.

  • disqusdrew-av says:

    I get it. He feels like his values are attacked. I’m sure this fine Christian man is also upset that Donald Trump is using the National Prayer Breakfast to lob insults and make veiled threats to people on his “enemies list”. /s

  • disqusdrew-av says:

    I get it. He feels like his values are attacked. I’m sure this fine Christian man is also upset that Donald Trump is using the National Prayer Breakfast to lob insults and make veiled threats to people on his “enemies list”. /s

  • hewhoiscallediam-av says:

    Meanwhile milquetoast crooner Adam Levine gets women all hot and bothered with his sweaty half naked body and no one bats an eye. Fuck off with your sexist women controlling bullshit my dude.

  • thisoneoptimistic-av says:

    my favorite genre of video is “boomer in sunglasses ranting at cellphone camera” so glad this delivers on 2/3

  • theamazingspiderdan-av says:

    Lucky for him, watching the halftime show on youtube is cheaper than Cialis.

  • buffal0wned-av says:

    If only there was a, i dunno….a sports-type website around here? Maybe it would report on such hard-hitting sports-related content such as this? Maybe it’d get some clicks and acclaim in the process? Just spitballing here, Herb.

  • tazer79-av says:

    Shouldn’t give idiots like this the attention they are so desperately seeking (Susan).

  • gnatba-av says:

    I don’t claim to be a legal expert, but I expect actively seeking out the “damaging material” absolves the NFL of all damages.It’s like walking into a restaurant, pushing past the employees to the kitchen, finding a chef’s knife, (assuming there is one), testing it on your wrist to see if it’s sharp, and then suing the restaurant when it turns out it is and you cut yourself.

  • lilmacandcheeze-av says:

    So this guy wants to sue the NFL because he did not watch the halftime show as it aired, but made his own choice to look up those clips later on…solid logic there.

  • jeanlucpickerd-av says:

    The correct solution for Christians is to switch from the halftime show, which isn’t really all that great anyway, to the puppy bowl. It’s famly-friendly and adorably cute. You might even forget to switch back because football is a dull and boring sport.The puppy bowl should really have a notice in the corner that lets people who switched to it during halftime that the halftime show has not ended yet. That way people who want to skip the halftime show but not miss the main game can do that. Plus they get to see adorable puppies! For those who think that’s not manly enough, I’d be cool with watching some ripped dudes working out in the gym with other people yelling random things in their faces. Everyone can get in on the action too.

  • returning-the-screw-av says:

    When I was twelve two balloons held close together suggestively could have caused me to sport a boner.So I don’ think this guy has an argument.

  • johnb300m-av says:

    Jeez, what an embarrassment.
    You go Dave!
    This behavior from you n other “Merican Chriiiiiichins, is really gonna welcome others to your cause. /s

  • suffersfoolsgladly-av says:

    I think what we got ourselves here is a furious masturbator.

  • burnersburnagain-av says:

    gets real worked up about “male butt sex”
    Classic right-winger. They always forget that lesbians are a thing. Gay always = men and anal.

  • insta5-av says:

    Ah yes, the ever-continuing fun adventures of the medieval, death cult followers and their forever struggle with basic human reality and nature.

  • Tommy861-av says:

    This guy deserves an “OK Boomer”

  • Anonimouse9-av says:

    Sounds to me he’s covering for getting excited watching men in tights handle balls.

  • ontwowheelsallthetime-av says:

    If all he wanted was to watch some good old fashioned American football, why would he have been watching the halftime show anyway? Shouldn’t he just be suing the NFL for having that pointless interruption of his otherwise perfectly wholesome sportsball event in the 1st place?

  • drunkenathlete-av says:

    If someone wearing this hat approaches you, do not engage in conversation!

  • therealfrying_sloth-av says:

    I want to sue every time some dumb mother fucker thanks god for winning something (like god gives a shit).

  • AndrewElias-av says:

    “Was there any warning that what he’s going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”

    Yes, the 10 or 20 times they mentioned that the half-time show would feature Shakira and Jennifer Lopez.

  • johnjohnson70-av says:

    And this, folks, is what religion can do to some people. Just like heroin, it becomes an addiction very quickly. Unfortunately, the religious addicts (theoholics?) use their personal beliefs as an excuse for wanton violence towards those deemed “evil.”
    Some of us are not safe as long as there are people like this Mr. Hetero-Hyde. And as long there is religion, there will be more like him. Such an unfortunate side effect because religion has some good philosophies for living a good life.

  • shiftitious-av says:

    Ok, I watched the performance and… Does this guy walk around with a medical team whenever he goes outside? Because if THAT was enough to get him horny enough to fear punishment from his little buddy up in the clouds, he must be on the verge of heart attack just walking around amongst ladies during summer.

  • mynameispants-av says:

    What do you think Dave Daubenmire was like in high school…?

  • dougquits-av says:

    Oh geez… Class Action, Coach Dave!

  • m42-av says:

    Why would anyone here actually watch this idiot?  He’s irrelevant.

  • John--W-av says:

    Man if only there was a way to prevent a person from seeing J-Lo’s crotch?Maybe one day science will discover something.

    • jalapenomilitia-av says:

      Well, when your head is so far up your own ass (as it is with “Coach Dave”) it’s hard to find the remote.

  • dresstokilt-av says:

    I wonder what it’s like to have that much free time.

  • finchbyrd-av says:

    Change the God damn fucking channel you idiot. If you had a free hand it could’ve reached for the remote.

  • goodwillthrifty-av says:

    I learned a lot from the half time show: it’s OK to objectify women. I thought we were past that, but I guess not!

  • mooseheadu-av says:

    He’s DEEP in the closet.

  • bdpower-av says:

    …down there

  • dudebra-av says:

    Coach Dave and the rest of the evangelical Nazis should just move to Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan. The spew the same garbage as the Taliban. The language is just different.

  • hlawyer-av says:

    They need to put some teeth into sanctions for filing frivolous lawsuits, like actual teeth from angry, hungry wild animals. If you file a billion dollar lawsuit like this, and it gets dismissed, you should be thrown to lions.

  • stefanjammers-av says:

    His “two very attractive daughters” comment tells me everything I need to know about this sicko. I hope against hope that they aren’t being abused, and that they find good therapists.

  • bosserdet-av says:

    Matthew 5:29 reads,
    And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out,
    and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for
    thee that one of thy members should perish, and
    not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

  • jamesll-av says:

    His son Zachary pled guilty to child pornography. Perhaps Coach Dave should have paid more attention to his own family instead of meddling in others.

  • feist1977-av says:

    I bet this same “moral” piece of crap is a trump supporter.

  • fiberman-av says:

    “Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old young son, whose hormones are just getting ready, just starting to operate… Was there any warning that what he’s going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”The fact that he thinks merely becoming aroused is harmful tells us everything we need to know. Eeew.

  • fairnhite451-av says:

    When you’re smart enough to realize that grifting on-line might make you popular … but far too stupid to successfully execute it.

  • mhking-av says:

    He ought to get off his fat ass and turn the goddamn channel if he doesn’t like it like normal people. Oh, wait. He’s clearly not normal people.

  • sadpipe-av says:

    “Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old young son, whose hormones are just getting ready, just starting to operate… Was there any warning that what he’s going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”It seems that it wouldn’t be a problem if only your 12 year old young son were gay.

  • waynemr-av says:

    Curious,does the VM mean Very mad?

  • RealmRPGer-av says:

    Reclaim “homophobe”? Is this guy related to Bruce Heffernan?

  • dynaco-av says:

    Did he ever collect any money from the “wardrobe malfunction” incident or did he wake up just in time for SB 54?

  • erictan04-av says:

    How did this jackass have offspring?

  • priorit13s-av says:

    Chances that this guy believes any of the shit he’s spewing…Zero. Some people will say anything for clicks.

  • ifsometimesmaybe-av says:

    It’s so telling that old white dudes are scared that they’ve found themselves in this modern world where they don’t need to hide their innocent proclivities in order to cling on to their statuses as the top of the social heirarchy. Like, come on dude (figuratively & literally)! Put stuff up your butt like you’ve always wanted to, and maybe focus on more pressing issues than trying to censor Shakira’s thrusts.

  • sadowolf-av says:

    He just has sub par training. There’s an easy home remedy for what ails him. 

  • shadomouse-av says:

    It was a halftime show with Jennifer Lopez and Shakira and he’s surprised that there was sexualized dancing?  He thought there should’ve been a warning?

  • gasolineisforhobbies-av says:

    Jesus has some pretty good advice for this douche: PULL OUT YOUR OWN FUCKING EYEBALLS IF YOU CAN’T LOOK AT A WOMEN WITHOUT GETTING UNREASONABLY HORNY.“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’[e] 28 But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.Matthew 5:27-30

  • nhreminh-av says:

    Gotta love that someone else’s actions would run the risk of landing him in hell. What a fucking putz.

  • melipone-av says:

    the only court that matters is the Great White Judgement Throne, where Coach Dave will surely be sentenced to Eternal Damnation for doing the “research” for his lawsuit, after he had already successfully avoided the show in the first place.“Instead, he looked up clips filled with those gosh-darned “crotch shots”

  • marklongoria-av says:

    How dare they have a bunch of scantily clad women dancing provocatively and showing off their crotchesAt an NFL football game! Think of the children! /sThe dude needs to get a life….

  • steve-o-reborn-av says:

    “Why the CIA wanna watch us….?”

  • nascarsux-av says:

    I think it’s trying to communicate.Also, I can’t help wondering if reporting on this idiot doing idiot things is just giving him more exposure. Sure, we can all ridicule him now, as we rightly should, but my life was just a tad better before I knew he existed.

  • stompoutracism-av says:

    Dave “Coach Dave”oh boy, sounds like a diddler, but, let’s not be hasty. “Were there any warnings that your 12-year-old young son, whose hormones are just getting ready, just starting to operate… Was there any warning that what he’s going to see might cause him to get sexually excited?”yep, bet he’s a diddler. 

  • hey-ya-av says:

    People like this just need to be shot. That’s not a joke or anything, just kill ‘em. 

  • ftf21x-av says:

    I like how the left is all about fighting the sexualization and objectification of women, until they’re all for the sexualization and objectification of women.And if you plan to respond “yeah, but these women have agency, they are choosing to do this!” is that what you’re going to tell every 12 yr old girl that looks at this and says “oh, ok, so the value I bring to the world is obviously my pussy and (when I have them) my tits”?

  • chief043-av says:

    Am I the only one that felt really uneasy with him calling his daughters “very attractive”?And what was the random segue about the marching band?Beyond that, how the hell does any of this damage anyone, as he proclaims? Delinquency of a minor? First amendment? READING COMPREHENSION??Can I counter-sue him for being violently retarded?

  • wrecksracer-av says:

    The Lord brought Shakira and J Lo into this world nekkid. 

  • SmugAardvark-av says:

    And so continues two hallowed American traditions.1. Being offended by attractive women while young men are violently pummeling each other head on until they achieve genuine brain damage. Sex bad, violence good.2. Suing everyone for unreasonable amounts of money for having been offended.

  • pearlp-av says:

    Not the NFL’s fault that Coach Dave gets inappropriate boners.

  • nycpaul-av says:

    This guy is a bigger ass than J-Lo’s.

  • ksmithksmith-av says:

    I may not agree with J.Lo’s crotch, but I will fight for her right to put that crotch out there!(Actually I do agree with her crotch…)

  • miked1954-av says:

    Want to place any bets on whether this guy is a Trumptard supporter of the degenerate rapist blasphemer currently running the Republican party?

  • hulk6785-av says:

    You know this guy watches incredibly freaky porn in private.

  • operasara-av says:

    Crazy how he was forced to watch the halftime show, his television refused to go off or change the channel.

  • big-hood-av says:

    this dude has some repressed sexual tension that confuses him and scares him and when he was a kid i bet his mother caught him wearing her heels and beat him with a bible then his dad called him all types of homophobic slurs and made him join the football team and wrestling team witch confused him even more

  • russell0barth-av says:

    closet homo
    classic case

  • Bellelaur12-av says:

    “Dave, show me on the doll where Shakira and JLO DIDN’T touch you.” You horned up mediocre toothless “needs to wank more “wanker 

  • ftf21x-av says:

    I know we’re all woke and such, and about the ‘empowerment’ of chicks shoving their vaginas on tv, but you know what? MOST of the country aren’t ‘enlightened’ (and likely single, childless) 20-something blog editors.Here’s a humor site, but a sampling of how REAL PEOPLE experienced that shitshow:https://acidcow.com/pics/116498-kids-reactions-to-the-super-bowl-halftime-show-32-pics.html

  • ruefulcountenance-av says:

    I for one am utterly shocked that a Halftime show from Shakira and Jennifer Lopez might be considered sexy or even provocative. Fucking ‘warnings’!Shakira is 10 years older to the day than her long time partner, the footballer Gerard Pique. That has no relevance to anything, it’s just a cool fact and I like to share it when the opportunity arises.

  • Squander-av says:

    I know I’m late to this party, but this guy is a viral stunt artist. Giving him links is how he makes money.

    And I just gave you an engagement thereby rewarding you and encouraging you to propagate more memes I don’t like. Oh the irony… may it one day end my suffering.  

  • catlenfell-av says:

    God tested him. He failed. 

  • GildedFox-av says:

    If someone is only there to watch some “good old-fashioned football” then why are they watching the halftime show where there is literally no football being played? Seems to me you’ve had 50+ years of experience to learn that fact

  • frenchrickler-av says:

    I think the point is that is was far from appropriate for a general audience. And it surely was. Just because something CAN be done, doesn’t mean it SHOULD. People are forgetting that more and more, because bad is now good.

  • MisterMinister-av says:

    Matthew 5:30, “And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it
    away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your
    whole body to go into hell” Funny this is one of the few verses that the Fundamentalists don’t take literally….

  • quantity-question-av says:

    Asked to comment on his father’s accusations of puberty, the son said “CLOSE THE DOOR AND KNOCK NEXT TIME LET ME PUT A LOCK ON IT GAWWWWWD.”

  • RVAWino-av says:

    He sure gives off child molester vibes, doesn’t he? Perhaps he’s really suing because J-Lo and Shakira are too old for his tastes.

  • bananabunny-av says:

    “…he posted a video on his detested Facebook to clear up what he meant about “the debauchery” that he admits he “didn’t even have it come into my house” because “past Super Bowls” forewarned him of the evil.So if he’s admitted not having watched at home because he knew what to expect, what’s his logical argument, exactly? So let’s sue to get rid of every single cultural media reference that doesn’t have a G rating, just in case someone might go looking for material that makes them horny? Wouldn’t getting rid of that sinful television and computer be the Christian thing to do? WWJD? and all that?

  • artor-av says:

    “…Estimates the damages he’d seek at “about $867 trillion.” Is that all? I’m glad to see “Coach Dave” (not actually a coach- he got fired from that job years ago) is being a reasonable person about this. It was starting to sound like he’s an unhinged lunatic.

  • burnedoneanddone-av says:

    I don’t quite understand this kind of thing. Remote controls exist. If the show is too sexy for your religion, you can simply change the channel and comeback.Also, what about the cheerleaders? Or is it OK for them to be sexy since they’re in the background?

  • burnedoneanddone-av says:

    I don’t quite understand this kind of thing. Remote controls exist. If the show is too sexy for your religion, you can simply change the channel and comeback.Also, what about the cheerleaders? Or is it OK for them to be sexy since they’re in the background?

  • wrestlefire-av says:

    I knew it.I knew it.Look, it was clearly a booty fest, we get it.But I knew somebody was gonna complain — but this takes that to even a different level than I thought it was gonna go!

  • tracertloopback-av says:

    “Your Honor, I had to go back and watch this godless display 27 times to make sure that I had fully grasped the sin and the debauchery that was on display.  Someone has to pay for this, and for my dry cleaning bill, but that is TOTALLY unrelated.”

  • enormo-av says:

    He’s tough but fair… and not gay.

  • torchbearer2-av says:

    There was a dude on the local next-door that had a similar rant. Best part was when he noted he was not a fan of any professional sport, which led to people asking why he watched in the first place and him going on a rant about millennials.

  • toooooooooot-av says:

    it’d be cool if he had a heart attack and died

  • ftyperbruin-av says:

    sounds like this guy wants to fuck his own daughters just like our POS preznit does. fuck trump and his idiot deplorables.

  • labnerd-av says:

    I’m pretty sure that the superbowl half time show is at the bottom of the list of things keeping this guy out of heaven. 

  • danl512-av says:

    People like this aren’t Americans.  You voted for a man who “moves on women like a bitch and then grabs them by the pussy.”  You are a complete hypocrite.  Go away, back to the college football cornfields.  

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