Today, in “No, we can’t tell where the irony starts or stops now, either” news: Jeff Goldblum’s nipple would like you to vote.
That’s the major message we’re getting from a post that Goldblum (and his nipple) made to Instagram this weekend, anyway, recreating his famous, mostly-shirtless lounging scene from the original Jurassic Park. Said photo was, like Goldblum And Associate’s recent recreation of his “chaos theory” monologue from the same movie (with Sam Neill stepping into the Laura Dern part, while Dern herself cackled from a socially distanced doorway), intended to promote HeadCount’s #GoodToVote initiative, designed to ensure that as many people as possible are ready to vote in the upcoming election in the safest ways available.
The idea for the photo op—which, while significantly less nipple-y than the one from the movie, still has a fair amount of nipple in it—was actually floated in the comments for the earlier video, and then Goldblum (etc.) just sort of did it, because that’s what Jeff Goldblum does: Exist as a sort of weird, affable, jazz-playing genie (who also sometimes says some dumb shit about Woody Allen), who seems entirely ruled by the whims of his own amusement. (But hey: At least those whims are for a pretty good cause this time.) Jeff Goldblum’s nipple, meanwhile, has long been an enthusiastic supporter of democracy, with a long track record of speaking up for proper voting procedures, and against human rights injustices.
Jeff Goldblum’s leather pants, also present at the shoot, could not be reached for comment at this time.
25 Comments
How is he exactly as hot as he was the first time?
Depending on your views of swarthy men he’s arguably hotter with the silver hair.
I was gonna say, the long silver locks are doing it for me more then the original mini fro.
He’s… not?
Meh. He got older. I got older too. He’s hot.
I hadn’t seen that video before and I think it was exactly the laugh I was needing today. So, clickbait or not, thank you for this.
Boy, everybody forgot about those rumors of him being a creep really fast, huh?
That’s what you’re here for.
You’re creepy as fuck.
The things about rumors is they, in fact, not facts.
Tell it to Louis CK.
Victims of Louis CKs creepy shit came out and explained exactly what happened, thus they were not rumors.
They were rumors for a very long time because most if not all of his victims were scared to speak out against him, and anyone who mentioned them got routinely pooh-poohed until he admitted to it. It’s almost like it’s not hard to believe that if there are multiple instances of women saying a rich, powerful man has been creepy to them, there’s a good chance that there’s some truth to it. Especially someone like Goldblum who’s built a public persona around being horny.
So what do you want exactly? Are we suppose to kick everyone out of Hollywood who has a rumor about them? Maybe imprison them all “just in case”! Maybe just a firing squad for anyone who Recognition heard was a creep?!Seriously everyone here is tired of your shit. You do more harm then good.
I mean, maybe not just jump down the throat and be dismissive of every time a man is criticized? And oh okay, self-appointed spokesman of the site.
It’s a hobby. No more to it than that.
Dang you sure have a hard on for Goldblum. That’s figuratively icymi.
Hold up; might also be literally. We don’t know. We just don’t want to find out.
I’m all for listening to credible allegations, but the closest I saw was a journalist saying that people had told her Goldblum was a creep, and being very aggressive about not providing any more info. That’s not even “he said, she said” that’s “he said, she said she said”.
I mean, again, these things tend to start with anonymous rumors because people are scared to actually speak up and attach their name to complaints because of the opprobrium they get. Just look at the response to this comment.
No one asked or cares what you think. Literally no one. You don’t matter and you never will.
I wonder if that isn’t maybe more because you’re a dumb piece of shit who people hate.
If that dog’s not thinking “…for me to POOP on!” it’s such a missed opportunity.
as a Legends of Tomorrow viewer I’ve seen stranger.
I’ll tell you the problem with the political power that you’re using
here: it didn’t require any discipline to attain it. You read what
others had legislated and you took the next step. You didn’t earn the election for yourselves, so you don’t take any responsibility for it.
You stood on the shoulders of statemen to accomplish something as fast
as you could and before you even knew what you had you patented it and
packaged it and slapped it on a plastic ballot box, and now you’re selling votes, you want to sell votes.