Here are some free ideas for that Jenna Ortega-Aubrey Plaza movie
Aubrey Plaza has already confirmed she's "down" for a collaboration with Jenna Ortega—it's high time someone got the ball rolling
Aux News Ortega
On Sunday night at the Screen Actors Guild Awards, Jenna Ortega and Aubrey Plaza efficiently maximized their joint deadpan slay while presenting the award for Best Male Actor in a Television Movie/Limited Series. As they stood together onstage, they jokingly pretended not to understand why they would be paired together, or what they have in common, despite speaking in a nearly identical monotone.
Asked afterwards if she would ever collaborate with Ortega, Plaza said yes, and even threw her own idea for the film into the mix. “I’m down,” Plaza told Entertainment Tonight. “We’ll just kill everybody with our eyes.”
Now that Plaza has verbally greenlit a hypothetical project with Ortega, there’s no time to waste. In the name of striking while the iron is hot, The A.V. Club has compiled a list of free ideas for a new Ortega-Plaza movie. Screenwriters of the world (who haven’t already started on a Plaza-and-Ortega-kill-with-their-eyes spec), crack your knuckles and load up Final Draft—there’s work to be done.
83 Comments
So now the “newswire” is just made up shit. In a slideshow.*chef’s kiss
They should have just cast Plaza as Morticia
Think she’d have better chemistry with Luis Guzman?
Fun Home, the Tony Award-winning musical about the life of Alison Bechdel. True to the spirit of the Ortega-Plaza duo, every conversation in the film must revolve around a guy.
Pedro Pascal, of course…he’s married to Plaza and Ortega is their daughter. I have nothing else, but it’s the Puerto-Rican and Chilean-American sexy, family melodrama that I didn’t know I needed.
Pedro Pascal! Everyone’s favorite programming language! Get your copy at the computer store in Aubrey Plaza!
Oh yeah they’re all latino this is a cute idea.
You knew.
Have them smash!
eat dog shit
The best, most obvious, and most unlikely idea is not on this list.
Heathers, but give Plaza the Christian Slater role?
2 girls, 1 cup?
double D?
they look more like an A or B size cup ahaha not that it matters really, all boobs are awesome regardless of their size.
A remake of “Freddy Got Fingered” with Plaza as Tom Green’s character and Ortega as Rip Torn’s?
Ok, but which one gets fingered?
We all do, my caffeinated friend. We all do.
Oh, alright then.
A movie where Ortega and her high school girlfriends make a pact to all get laid by prom, and Plaza is the wacky kinda new-age mother?
#9 would be the closest to what we’re ALL thinking.
Thelma and Louise 2. Opening scene: the convertible lands on the other side of the Grand Canyon. They turn to each other: “Let’s get some payback.” Danny Trejo plays the arms dealer with a heart of gold.
Bound remake?
Aubrey Plaza is 38 and Jenna Ortega is 20 so the age gap for them to play mother/ daughter seems pretty much right to me, though you don’t think of Aubrey Plaza playing someone’s mom. Which would make it interesting
She played a mother in Child’s Play, and it was pretty odd
The mother of a child? Did the child play? Sounds pretty on point to me.
As odd as it seems, she already played a mom in Child’s Play.https://www.avclub.com/on-the-late-show-aubrey-plaza-talks-playing-her-first-1835538432I dig your idea though. I think it could work out.
Oooh, oooh, OOOH . . . am I the first to kick the knowledge that she played a mother in Child’s Play? Oh, let it be me!
Agreed, although the Freaky Friday remake idea wouldn’t work as anyone who saw The Change-Up knows.Swapping two people with similar comedic personas and personalities is largely pointless.Swap either of them with a perky optimist, then you’ve got gold.
Yeah that idea made no sense to me. The fun of a body swap premise comes from two vastly different people dealing with expectations they aren’t used to and struggling to act like the other person convincingly. If they had the same personalities there would be no conflict. Ortega has range though, she could play a perky optimist (like in Jane the Virgin) or a shy normie (like in X).
Is Ortega this year’s Ione Skye: makes one noted piece of media, the press and public gush over her incessantly, then is never heard from again, replaced by next year’s “it” girl.
Aubrey voicing the mother/demon slayer in adult animation Little Demon. She got the chop down to the thee.
yeah hard pass on these 2 playing themselves
I’m a fan of most of the work that Plaza does, but I’m getting pretty bored with the one-note “Aubrey Plaza” character she keeps returning too.
She wears shorts and acts “weird”!
You forgot the obligatory hoodie.
my bad.
She’s got that “batshit crazy girlfriend” energy that is irresistible.
Emily the Criminal (it’s on Netflix) from last year was something different for her. Good movie.
Here’s one Guillermo rejected: Once upon a time, in a small village, there was a gerbil named Jiminy Cricket. He was a small, curious creature who loved to explore and discover new things. One day, while he was exploring the forest near his home, he stumbled upon a wooden puppet named Pinocchio.Pinocchio was a lonely puppet who longed to become a real boy. He had been carved by a kind old man named Geppetto, who had wished upon a star that Pinocchio would come to life. However, Pinocchio was still just a puppet, and he didn’t know how to become a real boy.When Jiminy saw how sad and lonely Pinocchio was, he decided to help him. He crawled up to the puppet and introduced himself. “Hello there,” he said. “My name is Jiminy Cricket. What’s yours?”“I’m Pinocchio,” replied the puppet. “I wish I could become a real boy, but I don’t know how.”“Well, I can help you with that,” said Jiminy. “I know a thing or two about magic and wishes.”With that, Jiminy set out to find a way to help Pinocchio become a real boy. He knew that the first step was to make sure Pinocchio was good and kind, so he decided to teach him about right and wrong. He taught Pinocchio to always tell the truth, to be kind to others, and to always follow his heart.Pinocchio listened carefully to Jiminy’s advice, and he did his best to be good and kind. However, he was still just a puppet, and he didn’t know how to become a real boy.One day, while they were wandering through the forest, they stumbled upon a fairy who had been watching over them. The fairy was impressed with Pinocchio’s good heart, and she decided to grant his wish.“Pinocchio,” she said, “you have proven yourself to be kind and true. As a reward, I will grant your wish and turn you into a real boy.”With that, she waved her wand, and Pinocchio was transformed. He felt his wooden body grow warm and soft, and he suddenly found himself standing on two legs.“Thank you, thank you,” cried Pinocchio, hugging Jiminy and the fairy. “I’m a real boy!”And so, with the help of his new friend Jiminy Cricket and the magic of a fairy’s wish, Pinocchio’s dream finally came true. From that day forward, he lived as a real boy, always remembering the lessons that Jiminy had taught him about kindness, truth, and following his heart.
jesus fucking christ dude
It’s important to provide your gerbil with enough space to move around and exercise, but also to make sure that the enclosure is safe and secure to prevent any injuries. If you are using an aquarium as your gerbil’s enclosure, it is recommended to use a secure mesh or wire lid to allow for proper ventilation and to prevent your gerbil from escaping or getting injured.As for jumping, gerbils are active and agile animals that enjoy climbing and exploring their environment. Providing your gerbil with plenty of toys, tunnels, and platforms can help them satisfy their natural behaviors and provide opportunities for jumping and climbing. However, it is important to ensure that any objects or surfaces in the enclosure are safe and sturdy, and that your gerbil has enough room to move around without hitting their head on the lid or walls of the enclosure.It’s also important to note that gerbils are social animals and do best when kept in pairs or small groups, so providing enough space for multiple gerbils is important for their well-being. If you have any questions or concerns about your gerbil’s living space or behavior, it’s best to consult with a veterinarian or an experienced animal care provider.
The photo really highlights how much Jenna Ortega looks like a child
As opposed to what?
Apparently 20 year old’s must immediately look middle age upon leaving their teen years.
As opposed to the 1950’s where tweens all looked around 50.
…as opposed to a 20 year old
That is such a sexy photo
Gah! This is pedantic I know, but don’t use a hyphen to relate two people in a sentence, especially not their full names! “Jenna Ortega-Aubrey Plaza movie” looks like there’s a third woman in there named Ortega-Aubrey. En dashes, people, en dashes!“Jenna Ortega–Aubrey Plaza.” See doesn’t that look nicer!!(sorry)
feel better?
I don’t like either option, and I would use “Jenna Ortega/Aubrey Plaza movie.” Also all I’d really like to watch them do is stroke each other off.
Ahem.
A Death Becomes Her ‘remake’ that is revealed to actually be a sequel.
Machete 3: Machete in SpaceA movie where they both team up to slay a group of manic pixie dream girls.
Live action Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic with Aubrey as Revan and Ortega as Juhani.
A film where they’re two con-women who catfish each other and keep escalating the con until it gets completely out of hand and involves a cartel somehow.
The Lighthouse 2: Siren Song.
A film where they are best friends who met at a LARP gathering and have to manage crappy home lives.
A film where Plaza is a retired assassin teaching Ortega her ways right as things get weird and aliens invade.
A zombie comedy.
A Clerks reboot.
A Clerks reboot:
Yeah, I’d like to see Jenna ordering porn movies in front of a young mother an her child.
I’ve seen people using “go fuck Jenna Ortega” online as a slur meaning to call someone a pedophile. I’m sorry but she is 20 years old and yes that is young but she is legally an adult and she has a gorgeous face. I don’t know what’s hard to understand about that.
And while I’m here I feel like people need reminding that Bella Ramsey is 19 years old. Just saying. These people are legal adults it’s not wrong for us to judge them as adults. Celebrities just be getting younger. (someone called me a pedophile for saying Bella Ramsey isn’t attractive. She’s friggin 19 I’m allowed to decide if she’s attractive and I don’t think that she is, I also don’t date a lot of white women though and she’s super british looking, idk what that means).
Anything else I need to know about you?
“A movie where they both team up to slay a group of manic pixie dream girls.”
Take your damn star.
It looks like Plaza is dressed for a Warrior Princess type roll.So maybe just go with a Xena/Gabby thing.Only more blood, of course. Waaaaaaay more blood.
Only more blood boobs, of course. Waaaaaaay more blood boooooobs.FTFY
Is Plaza going full Zardoz?
Connery’s costume had more of a Borat vibe.
Love all the original ideas in this click-o-matic.
FYI: The Dr. Emilio imposter account posting here in this thread is NOT the long-established account user known in the Giz family.
He’s attempting to get enough “cred” to drive the actual account user away. The actual Dr. Emilio has been a constructive, positive participant in Kinja for quite some time, so naturally, KKKremlin trolls that want to turn the conversation into a “conservative” hate sewer have targeted him and others for harassment.
Yeah, I tried reporting the troll’s comment, but it did the thing it occasionally does (usually on slideshows) where clicking ‘Flag’ makes the webpage turn white except for an X button and it’s impossible to proceed with the report.
Yep, that’s Kinja at the moment. I’m able to do it, but it takes some finagling. I right-click on the “flag” option and am able to open a new page, then I have to show pending again and tab-tab-tab down to the comment’s options again to get it to show.
Basically doing hot-key dancing because mouse options are unworkable in that instance.
Well, that’s good and stupid, but I’ll be using it. Thanks for the tip!
An adaptaion of the Korean movie A Tale of Two Sisters.
After being institutionalized in a mental hospital, Korean teen
Su-mi (Yum Jung-ah) reunites with her beloved sister, Su-yeon (Im
Soo-jung), and they return to live at their country home. The girls’
widower father (Moon Geun-young) has remarried, and the siblings are
immediately resentful of his new wife, Eun-joo (Kim
Kap-soo). As Su-mi and Su-yeon try to resume their regular lives,
strange events plague the house, leading to surprising revelations and a
shocking conclusion.
Not to yuck anyone’s yum here, but I’d think to cast folks as two of the four leads in a musical, you need to be able to, um… sing. Not “fun but facile parody of a brassy 50’s broad singing torch songs” sing, or lip synching to TikToks, but actually sing. Fun Home is extremely hard stuff, both in terms of acting and singing ranges.
Unless you were satisfied with, say, the likes of Tim Burton’s adaptation of Sweeney Todd. And some folk are. Again, not yucking yums. Just seems odd that this was one of the things the came off the top of someone on staff’s head to put these two in when neither are actually singers.
I think the entire slideshow is meant to be a joke. All the ideas are flimsy and they say so 🙂
“another idea that few people would watch and fewer would enjoy, but why not”
Sure, but that one is far more of a non-sequitur than the others, even the shark cage or Eeyore ones. Fun Home deals with some serious shit that really happened to a real person (most notably the suicide of the author’s closeted and sometimes emotionally abusive father). If the joke was to be the most absurd, should have just gone all the way and said, I dunno, a musical remake of Schindler’s List.
I know: I must be fun at parties.
Jenna Ortega could step into the naive shoes of Elizabeth BerkleyThis is another idea that few people would watch and fewer would enjoyUm, speak for yourself…
You’re into feet?That’s cool, no shaming here!
I say go against type and remake What Ever Happened to Baby Jane.
If I might suggest a more out-there adaptation?A movie version of the Kids in the Hall sketch characters Sizzler and Sizzler.Or a movie version of the Kids in the Hall “Nobody Likes Us” characters.Or Simon & Hecubus.Look, I love Kids in the Hall, okay?
…AND SO YOU ALWAYS SHALL!
The teen comedy where Aubrey Plaza plays a devil on Jenna Ortega’s shoulder is clearly the best choice because it also includes Meredith Hagner.
Too many reboot on the list. Where’s your creativity, guys?
How about an adaptation of Fay Weldon’s The Cloning of Joanna May?
A Home Alone/reverse slasher hybrid where they use traps and dry banter to casually defeat a string of serial killers trying to invade their home.
…yeah no i definitely agree with the showgirls one. yes please.
A soft-porn film. Perfect.
Don’t get my hopes up for a showgirls with these two!?! (but then again a new version will probably have 0 nudity ).
Wild Things?I’ll stop there.