With Hollywood running out of cool toys to make into movies, Jerry Bruckheimer settles for Beyblade
It's time to "Let It Rip," which is the thing people say in Beyblade
Aux News Beyblade
Say what you will about the Transformers movies, at least the toys they’re based on make sense as the building blocks of a narrative. They’re vehicles that turn into robots, the cars are good guys, and the jets are bad guys. It’s clean, it’s efficient, and it embraces the long-held animosity between cars and jets.
Now, at the risk of over-editorializing in a news story (Again?! On The A.V. Club?!), the same can’t really be said about Hollywood’s latest toy acquisition. According to Deadline, Jerry Bruckheimer of all people is set to produce a live-action movie based on Beyblade of all things, with writers Neil Widener and Gavin James handling the script. Deadline says the two of them have been attached to a few in-the-works projects, like a movie based on old DC character Hourman and another sequel to Now You See Me.
As for Beyblade, which is apparently very popular and inspired a cartoon and stuff, it’s basically a game where you wind up a little top and drop it into a bowl where it smashes against your opponent’s little top until it stops spinning or breaks or falls into a hole. Deadline’s story notes that some Beyblades include “Ultimate Frostic Dranzer, Spin Dragoon, and Saizo” and that they fight in arenas called “Beystadiums.” We are also now just realizing that Michael Bay, director of the awful Transformers movies, should be the one taking this on instead of Jerry Bruckheimer. We could’ve said “more like Michael Bayblade” and it would’ve been slightly funny!
Anyway, any information about the plot is being “kept under wraps,” either so nobody spoils whether or not Ultimate Frostic Dranzer ends up being the bad guy or because Widener and James haven’t decided how to make any of them a bad guy. But at least movies about tops are making a big comeback, 12 years after Inception.
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Just to note, there are three Beyblade cartoons. The first one (Lasting three seasons), Metal Fusion (lasting four seasons) and the current one, Burst, (currently on its sixth season). The amusing thing about the anime versions is that the spinning tops always include some kind of spirit beast to make the battles look cooler.
It amuses me how, in a sea of toyetic series like Battle B-Daman, Bakugan, Cardfight Vanguard, etc., Beyblade somehow became popular enough to become a meme and transcend its throwaway nature.
Also:
You forgot the two movies Beyblade the Movie: Cecisive Battle! Tako vs Daichi and Metal Fight Beyblade vs. Taiyou: Shakunetsu no Shinryakusha Sol BlazeI kinda hope the live action film is either a bat-shit-crazy anime-inspired tour-de-force or goes for something similar to Good Boys in tone, where the game is just something the kids play here and there.
Honestly, if you are going to make a live-action adaptation of Beyblade, of all things, you kinda have to go in an all-out Speed Racer-esque direction, unless the staff is perfectly happy churning out some random Destined-For-Redbox movie.
How has nobody made a horror movie about Hungry Hungry Hippos?It could be the next Sharknado.I think hippos kill way more people than sharks.
Hippos clock in at a staggering 500 human kills annually. Sharks? A paltry nine. Cape Buffalo clock in at 200 so like…. yeah hippos
The Hungry Hungry Hippos movie exists (and stars Dave Franco character Xavier & Will Forte) in the universe of The Afterparty.
Maybe a sequel then.
Hungry Hungry Hippos II: Hangry Hangry Hippos
They’re back, and this time they’re ANGRY!!!
I feel like there’s still so much opportunity left in the board game IP sector that we shouldn’t have to dip into the bargain toy bin so soon. Where’s our Buddy Cop comedy Chutes and Ladders? The breakthrough summer dramedy Sorry? Why can’t I see the biting social satire Monopoly on Peacock already?I guess if we have to go the toy route, we should at least be compromising by having The Rock star in action thriller Jenga.
Monopoly would make a surprisingly good movie and the writers could jam it full of capitalist criticism.
The taglines practically write themselves!
Chutes and Ladders: It’s a long way down to the top.
Monopoly: This time, it’s business.
Sorry!: Not sorry.
“Chutes and Ladders: It’s a long way down to the top.”tbf that’d also work here
Scrabble: The Motion Picture
A Kevin Hart Monopoly movie was greenlit in 2019.
I look forward to Candy Land being a horror movie where all the sickeningly sweet rainbow creatures are just an illusion hiding their true Lovecraftian forms.
Damn, I want that movie. Hopefully starring Nicholas Cage.
I remember beyblades being popular in school for about a month before Yu-Gi-Oh came in and wiped the floor with it. They were also a pretty dangerous toy considering they had metal edges that could easily chip and become sharp
What i’m thinking s “how is Beyblade getting a live action adaptation before Yu-Gi-Oh?”Maybe that’s what they wanted originally but Yu-Gi-Oh was too expensive so they settled?
When was this? I had a boss whose elementary-age kids were REALLY into Beyblade, sometime around ‘08. I don’t remember ever seeing a reference to it since then.
Closer to 03 for me from what I remember
Battlebots was RIGHT there!
So are we going to see “Hourman in Havana” in theaters soon, or what?
They should make a movie off Crossfire instead. They would capture that incredibly lucrative older millennial who watched a lot of Nickelodeon in the 90s demographic, and they would already have a kick-ass theme song to start the movie with:
“Michael Bay, director of the awful , should be the one taking this on instead of Jerry Bruckheimer. We could’ve said “more like Michael Bayblade” and it would’ve been slightly funny!”Well Bruckheimer is a producer, not a director, and he’s hired Bay to direct some of his movies, so there’s hope yet.
I don’t understand.Is it pronounced like Beyonce’s Beyhive? Which I thought was “bae” but apparently is “bee”? Or is it “baeblade” like the “blade before any other blade”?
Im really surprised there hasnt been a Magic the Gathering movie yet. Over 20 million people currently play, with many many many more than that having played at some point or another. It already has major characters and storylines, decades of comic books and regular books, ridiculous amounts of story possibilities.
But yeah, lets make a beyblade movie. A toy that was a passing fad for a year, that was only played by little kids, and is unplayed nowadays vs a game that has over 20 million current players.