John Legend and Kelly Clarkson’s “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”: less creepy, still pretty dumb
Aux Features John Legend
Let’s start with the good news: Kelly Clarkson and John Legend, two world-class singers with charming personalities who are sometimes on television together, did a holiday duet and it sounds great!
Reader, it is our sincerest wish that the news could stop there. Alas, we must move on to the previously reported, not-so-good news: The cover is of the jubilantly gross “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” which they attempted to make less creepy, with new lyrics written by Legend and Insecure’s Natasha Rothwell. That’s a nice thought and all, but the results are… awkward, at best.
That is definitely less date-rapey, but it is also not great in some places. Let’s review the highlights and lowlights.
The good:
- “Wait, what do you still live at home for?”: Cute in a celebrity novelty holiday album kind of way.
- “Maybe just a cigarette more / That’s something we should probably explore,” is pretty funny in context, we must admit.
- The ending, where they just sing “Baby, it’s cold outside” in beautiful belty voices. Make it last forever.
The innocuous:
- “I can call you a ride” > “I’ll call a car and tell ’em to hurry,” but neither are great. The car stuff gets worse.
- Many variations on “Okay sure take off” and “text me when you get home” and “It’s cool, whatever’s best for you.” All fine, whatever, but there are way too many of them.
- He gives her a comb to keep? That’s nice.
The bad:
- “Your driver, his name is Murray” is just too long a walk, sorry.
- “Well, Murray, he just pulled up outside.”
- Murray gets a line of dialogue? Enough with Murray.
- “He loves my music, baby, I’m sure,” about Kelly’s brother?
- “I’m a genie, tell me what your wish is,” to rhyme with “your lips look delicious.” The latter is from the original. The former would only have been acceptable if this were a duet with Christina Aguilera—John/Christina or Kelly/Christina, either works—and it was a little “Genie In A Bottle” reference.
Oh, no:
- “It’s your body and your choice.” I mean, it is, but oh, no.
The single is from the deluxe edition of Legend’s album A Legendary Christmas, which is out today. If you’re a person who’s good with listening to things and just ignoring the crappy lyrics, then this track has got your name on it; otherwise, maybe just skip this one when you start listening to the record on the day after Thanksgiving and not a moment before.
68 Comments
“It’s your body and your choice.”I’m OK with them de-creep-i-fying the song, but it’s so heavy handed.
And now Fox News has their hook.“It’s an old song with new lyrics where a man and a woman discuss killing their unborn child.”
That is fucking funny
The heavy handedness is a feature, not a bug. Or so I’ve been told in the past.
This line wasn’t even needed if they set the proper tone from the start (body language, anyone?).
Then again, I’d rather hear something original than another, ‘less offensive’ remake.
So really I’d better scurry, beautiful, please don’t hurry
Maybe just a half a drink more, put some records on while I pourThe neighbors might think, baby, it’s bad out there
Say, what’s in this drink? No cabs to be had out there
I wish I knew how, your eyes are like starlight now
To break this spell, I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell
I ought to say no, no, no, mind if I move in closer?
At least I’m gonna say that I tried, what’s the sense in hurting my pride?Okay, maybe the original lyrics were a tad problematic
Learn a culture before judgmentally commenting on it.
What, rape culture?
‘Woke’ culture?
What does this comment mean???
Where? Which lyric says “non-consensual”?
“Say, what’s in this drink?”
She’s flirting with him. As in “This drink has gone straight to my head, maybe I SHOULD stick around for awhile.” Jesus, folks.
Nope. Common phrase back then that had nothing to do with rufees and more to do with how strong a drink has to be to make you act a fool.
Nope. This has been addressed even in this very comment section, and a hundred times before. It was a turn of phrase at the time to excuse one’s own behaviour. Again, get out of your bubble and learn cultures and histories.
I don’t think it’s a song that’s as bad as the Hot Take Industrial Complex would lead you to believe, but it doesn’t mesh great with modern sensibilities. I’m loathe to cut short the already repetitive Christmas radio playlist, but maybe we just let this one die rather than try out some terrible, awkward rewrites?Oh,and take Santa, Baby with you while we’re at it.
My very least favorite about the current entertainment landscape is the seemingly compulsive inability to stop recycling once popular properties. Why is it necessary to reboot a stupid song to make it marginally more awake? Write a new song and let the problematic and not very catchy song fade into historical obscurity. It’s been done before. All of these designated classic songs were new in the not too distant past. We could do it again. There’s no rule that says we have to keep recording the same 50 Christmas songs over and over.
I like originality, but, covers are kind of the bread and butter of novelty Christmas albums like this.
It’s obvious that low effort covers are the rule rather than the exception when it comes to Christmas music, so why put any effort into “rehabilitating” a problematic mediocre song? Just don’t record it. That takes zero effort. Or, if they feel like trying a little bit, take a day to write something different. It’s not that much harder to write a new song than to rewrite a bullshit song. Has any famous singer other than Mariah Carey even attempted to add to the canon in the past 25-30 years?
Celine Dion has done some new songs. Taylor Swift has done at least two new Christmas songs. Lady Antebellum has done at least one new song. Michael Buble did one. Justin freaking Bieber has done several.
Look, if the Justin Bieber Christmas album is good enough for John Waters…
Has any famous singer other than Mariah Carey even attempted to add to the canon in the past 25-30 years?Clarkson herself put 5 original songs on Wrapped in Red.
So this is pretty much firmly within “Old Man Yells at Cloud” territory. I should stop.
The Killers released an original Christmas song annually for 10 or 12 years. They were never the band’s best songs, but some were still very good.
I should look into those. I’m always looking into expanding my non-cheesy Christmas songs playlist. Low recorded a bunch of Christmas songs in the late 90s and 00s and “If You Were Born Today” and “Taking Down the Tree” see a lot of action on my stereo during holiday times.
No one can seemingly pull it off because Christmas music has to “feel” classic. Mariah’s track feels like it already existed 40 years before it was made. All this shiny, up-to-date pop simply cannot hang, because it’s too obviously commercial.That said, the artist who’s made the best go of it recently seems to be Ariana. I certainly don’t want to hear that Santa song, but her legion of fans seem to juuuust tolerate it enough to maybe make it a staple one day.
The last truly original Christmas song was by King Diamond.
Alright, we get it. People ignore historical context / actual meaning of a song they think is about rape. Enough already.
To spell it out, the song was written by Frank Loesser and originally performed by his wife and himself as a party trick for friends…
Current gen looking at the context, without actually looking at the context…that’s a new one.
Who needs facts and an understanding of what they are critiquing? We have feelings to replace that nonsense! /s
I get that some folks are so uptight about the merest suggestion of seduction involving any degree of persuasion beyond “two people spontaneously having exactly the same degree of hots and enthusiastic consent for each other at the same time” that they simply cannot candle “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” I don’t particularly respect it, but I get it, and am happy to not engage with that argument. That said, those in that camp who continue to make hay of it year after year, including this WTF remake/new take/whatever, can piss right off. 😛
I get that some folks are so uptight about the merest suggestion of seduction involving any degree of persuasion beyond “two people spontaneously having exactly the same degree of hots and enthusiastic consent for each other at the same time” that they simply cannot candle “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” I don’t particularly respect it, but I get it, and am happy to not engage with that argument. That said, those in that camp who continue to make hay of it year after year, including this WTF remake/new take/whatever, can piss right off. 😛
Your delightfully progressive take definitely deserved two posts.
“He gives her a comb to keep? That’s nice.”Because they just finished tussling in the sheets and her hair is messy.
It’s been worse.
…is it bad that I laughed at the “should I use the front or back door” line?
It would be bad if you didn’t laugh at every line.
The song’s in no way gross or creepy and never has been and didn’t need changed. Learn some fucking context.
I’ve never understood why this song became a Christmas standard in the first place. There’s nothing in the original lyrics related to Christmas. Kind of like how “My Favorite Things” gets played at Christmas despite having nothing to do with Christmas. Are we so short of actual Christmas songs that we have to smuggle songs in?
Christmas is when cold happens!
It’s not 100% Christmas-y, but there are a number of lyrics from My Favorite Things that fit with wintertime. – warm woolen mittens, sleigh bells, snowflakes, silver white winters.
So it’s like 4% Christmas-y
And bright paper packages tied up with string. Could also be someone’s birthday, but that sounds a lot like Christmas and not just Winter.
Like Jingle Bells and Winter Wonderland, it’s winter themed, which gets it packaged in with Christmas themed songs.
A lot of Jewish writers in the 30’s and 40’s were writing “Holiday” songs that expressly avoided referencing Christmas itself. Let It Snow, Winter Wonderland, etc.
There’s so many repetitions of lines like “yes, go ahead and go” that it started to be really funny. They’re so careful to emphasize that he’s not trying to coerce her into staying, that it ends up sounding like he really wants to get rid of her. “Yeah yeah tonight was fun and all, but your driver’s here, can you just go home already?” is definitely the vibe I’m getting from lines like: “I’ve got to get home / Oh baby, I’m well aware.”
You guys already did this article last week. Has this site gone into reruns?
You’ve moved into “the old married couple” phase of your relationship with the AV Club.“Enough. I’ve heard this story 100 times already from you. Just sit there and eat your toast.”
You know, guys, we can just…not sing the song. It’s not as if we’re suffering from a dearth of Christmas songs.
Does Murray get his own song next? I need to know more about this chauffeur.
John/Christina or Kelly/Christina, either worksThanks, now I want it.
So we just ignore the fact that this song is not about date rape and in fact both parties in the song are exploring consent, they just don’t want the neighbors to think anything is up because norms were different then? I hate this song, but it’s ridiculous to say it’s an ode to date rape. Christmas makes people crazy for clicks.
People don’t like a lot of nuance in their media these days I guess. can’t have any of those blurred lines.
This whole song is non-consensual because I never want to hear it!
Don’t force this song into my ears!
I’m Dreaming of a Woke Christmas…
I don’t mind people being offended by the original song so much as I mind people pretending to be offended. You all know better. It’s not about rape. Grow up.
Awesome. A song for people who eat meat but can’t stand to look in a butcher shop window because the animals have faces.
The new song sucks. Like I get that they wanted to update it and the old one was kind of rapey. But how about like make it good? An even worse crime is to take an old problematic song, and just make it suck.
Like Murray? What the hell?All they needed to do was change a few words and rhymes, not add an entirely new setting and characters. The original song was about two people, this John Legend version is a fricking movie.
The original doesn’t play well anymore, but the new one is laughable.
I see both sides of it, really. The original context of the song makes perfect sense and isn’t creepy at all – she wants to sleep with him, she’s just worried about what people will say – but by the same token, times change.
times change, but it’s not like there still aren’t situations we can find ourselves in where our mind fights with itself over getting out of a sexual situation our body doesn’t want us to get out of. It’s still easy for me to understand the thinking even if the exact situation is less applicable.
Times change…and a big part of why we keep having this debate is the fact that, despite that, every year or so, someone decides “You know what seasonal song we haven’t run into the ground enough yet?”
aaaaaaaand
20 goto 10
Times change but historical context is forever and you have to judge something through it’s historical context.
I gotta say, producing an utterly awful song to stick in people’s heads is a much more ingenious way to stop people from enjoying “Baby it’s cold outside” than just the usual annual Twitter outcry against it.
Thank you for reminding me to look up my favorite duo.
The two characters in the song were flirting. That’s the context of the song. People need to lighten up.