Stand down, runtime police: Martin Scorsese’s next movie is only 80 minutes long
Martin Scorsese has promised the pope he'd make a movie about Jesus
Aux News Martin Scorsese
2023 was a banner year for movies. Filmmakers with personal, political, and unique views poured their souls into an array of films that broke formal conventions, turned the industry on its head, and proved that audiences still crave movies of substance and humanity. Unfortunately, the only thing people wanted to talk about was how movies are just too long. Well, all the people who found Martin Scorsese’s real-world account of human cruelty too long are finally getting what’s coming to them: An 80-minute movie about Jesus by 2023’s reigning king of long movies.
This is per a new interview for The L.A. Times. Scorsese says the film is a response to an appeal from none other than the pope, who compelled artists to make a movie about Jesus and get some butts in pews. The director says he based the screenplay on Silence author Shūsaku Endō’s book A Life Of Jesus and is “trying to find a new way to make [religion] more accessible” by focusing on the teachings of Jesus but doesn’t hit viewers over the head with them. He wants to “take away the negative onus of what has been associated with organized religion.” Namely, the assumption that services are just too long.
This wouldn’t be Scrosese’s first Jesus movie, but it would be his shortest. The Last Temptation Of Christ clocked in at a blader-bursting two hours and 44 minutes. Though Temptation is a masterpiece featuring spellbinding performances from Willem Dafoe and Harvey Keitel, it’s simply too long for people with dozens of episodes of Suits to watch. It’s nice to see Mr. Scorsese working to appeal to the modern moviegoer’s delicate disposition.
42 Comments
I downloaded a great copy of Killers of Flower Moon over a month ago, and still haven’t watched it. Why? It’s too freaking long. Will this be another film I downloaded for free and then never watched? And then deleted? Jeez Marty, I went through all the trouble to steal your “art” and then threw it away.
Killers of the Flower Moon is overrated and not that great, but if you can’t find time to watch a movie in your own home, that’s on you.
80 minutes is too long for you?Where were you when Quibi needed you?
If you can’t fit your movie in a Vine, it’s not worth watching.
Given the subject matter (Jesus), yes, 80 minutes is too long.
Weird flex but OK
If you’re holding off because it seems too long, just wait until you actually try to watch it. Shit is boring.
“An 80-minute movie”—Oooh! “about Jesus”—Oh.
All it would take is reedit the Mel Gibson movie into something much shorter and more palatable.
“But it comes with a free frogurt.” –Oooh!“The frogurt is also about Jesus.” –Oh.
To be fair, his first movie about Jesus (LToC) was pretty good, and I say this as an atheist. Scorsese isn’t some hack making crap to appeal to evangelicals, so I wouldn’t write this movie off just because of its subject.
That’s fair. I’m not writing it off, it’s just that my interest was piqued and then immediately un-piqued, so I’m back to feeling neutral about it.
Silence is also fantastic.
But what if it’s a progressive take on Jesus (you know, the way Jesus actually is depicted in the Bible), that entices the fundies in with the J-word but actually tells them all their hateful nonsense is all wrong?
Terrence Malick shot a Jesus movie (filming wrapped 4-5 years ago) that there’s still no sign of, but i bet Marty’s will come out first
Terrence Malick is only 45% done with adjusting the color filters for his movie, so we’ll just have to be patient
The director says he based the screenplay on Silence author Shūsaku Endō’s book A Life Of Jesus and is “trying to find a new way to make [religion] more accessible” by focusing on the teachings of Jesus but doesn’t hit viewers over the head with them.Maybe it’s just me, but that actually sounds fairly promising. Although what I’d really like is a movie that introduces Jesus’ teachings to the group that most needs to hear them, Evangelicals.
Exactly. This sounds…promising? Of course I can already hear the fox news pundits accusing the Hollywood Elite of trying to steal Jesus like they stole the election, but, you know, you can’t have everything.
Jesus Fucking Christ. Why the fuck does the world need another movie about Jesus?Talk about beating a dead horse.
He’s one the the most popular and enduring characters of all time. You’ll be telling me we don’t need any more Superman movies next!
Scrosose is getting up there in years and his blader is not as strong as it used to be, so….
Will this Gospel movie have Obama as the devil again?
“For as long can I remember, I’ve always wanted to be the Messiah”[cue “Rags to Riches,” by Tony Bennett]
“The pope asked me to make a movie about Jesus, so I will” *muffled whispers from offstage* “…apparently it has to actually get butts in seats as well, so in this movie Jesus will finally meet his hero, Peter Parker, the Spider-Man.”
Jacob Elordi IS Jesus Christ!
I’d be in favor of a movie about the teachings of Jesus that isn’t some weird Kevin Sorbo fundie crap.
Oh, is that the one with the Obama devil?
I wouldn’t know. I haven’t watched Kevin Sorbo since Hercules. Also that episode of Psych.
I liked watching Sandy punch him in The OC.
That does sound fun. Shawn and Gus best him in Psych, too.And this hurts me to say because I *loved* Hercules when I was a kid. And Xena, obviously. And the Highlander series starring Adrian Paul. Let’s just say I enjoyed Sunday afternoon TV.
never heard it called that before
What if it has Jim Caviezel in it?
Is he shirtless?
… a blad[d]er-bursting two hours and 44 minutes…Other than people with genuine medical issues, can people really not hold it in for three hours? Like, that doesn’t seem very long to me?
“The Last Temptation Of Christ clocked in at a blader-bursting two hours and 44 minutes.”What’s a “blader”? Something to do with replicants?
Jesus: Leonardo Di Caprio. Peter: Robert De Niro. Herod: Joe Pesci. Nothing can go wrong here.
Joe Pesci as Herod is pretty good casting, I reckons.
Alternatively: Di Caprio as Jesus. Jonah Hill as Peter. Margot Robbie as Mary Magdalene. Title: The Lamb of Nazareth
What’s a “blader”?
There are reports that Jesus intends to sue.
Correction: Temptation is not, actually, a masterpiece. Many of Scorsese’s pictures are but that one was slopped together in 58 days after the original film was cancelled by Paramount.