Give ‘em points for trying: Mattel, consumed by power and flopsweat, is determined to turn every goddamned toy it’s ever made into a movie. It began with Barbie and Masters Of The Universe, then moved to Hot Wheels and American Girl dolls, and now the toy company’s new partnership with MGM is giving birth to a live-action “family adventure” based on the your grandma’s favorite toy, the View-Master. You know, that clunky, stereoscopic thing filled with blurry pictures of Donald Duck.
So, no, the View-Master name doesn’t have the same kind of juice that, say, Barbie does, but the toy’s enough of a blank slate that they could conceivably use it to tell any story they want. Also, the product’s attempts to pivot into virtual reality have resulted in a product that looks a helluva lot like the goggles Tye Sheridan wore in Ready Player One, so don’t be surprised if the final product veers in a similar direction. Virtual reality is, after all, finally getting good.
“View-Master was the first device that allowed families all over the world to escape their reality and take them places they never thought they could go,” said MGM’s Jonathan Glickman in a statement. “We couldn’t be more excited to partner with Mattel to create a family adventure integrating the old school turn and click stereotypic device with the modern world of virtual reality.”
Anyways, with Mattel on a cinematic rampage, all we can do now is hope they’ll make the Child’s Play reboot we’d actually want to see—one starring the finger-munching Snack Time Cabbage Patch Kid.
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Remember the Garbage Pail Kids movie? Hoo…that wasn’t good.
Anthony Newley’s finest hour.
That was the one that encouraged child labor for the fashion industry right?
That was great for an unintentional horror film. That monstrosity filled me with terror.
I didn’t see it until a few years ago. Oh God…it’s not even bad-good…
To this day my friends and I still bring up Windy Winston… usually when somebody passes gas.
Not sure why there’s so much skepticism about this. Roger Ebert famously said: “It’s not what a movie is about, it’s how it is about it.” The fact that a movie is based around a view-master doesn’t indicate whether it will be good or bad. It would be easy enough to say that the view-master is cursed and turn it into a horror movie, or that it is magical and turn it into a fantasy film. I remember when there was all this criticism about turning Pirates of the Caribbean into a movie — “they’re making a film out of a theme park ride?” That turned out fine. In the end, a view-master is just another prop, one that can be written well or poorly based on the talents of the creators handling the project.
You too can be a View-Master… bator.
Does anyone else feel bad for the one young executive who was at the other end of the table when the head executive said, “I’m going to point to you and you tell me a product we should make into a movie or your fired!” and then kept looking around in terror as the people before him threw out the easy ones?“barbie!”“Hot Wheels”“Um… viewmaster?”Poor guy.
I would’ve immediately jumped up and exclaimed “KerPlunk!”
“In an unstable world, one man will hold it all together with only a few, thin, sticks.”Man this thing writes itself. Starring the Rock and opening in 2023.
I’d see the hell out of that!
In a world devastated by global warming, one man will fight against powerful governments to save the polar ice caps.Don’t Break The Ice
Mousetrap. (Starring Jigsaw.)
GNIP GNOP!
KerPlunk: 5 minutes to set up, 30 seconds to play.
Why there was no one screaming “SCREWBALL SCRAMBLE!!!!!!” at the top of their lungs i don’t know.
Indiana Jones already did it.
…. god damn it!
Ball Buster!“In a world where balls were considered sacred and had to be carefully fondled, she did the unthinkable. BALL BUSTER! Starring the ghost of Bea Arthur.”
CROSSFIRE!!!
They should make “Battleship” into a movie. I bet that would be good.
I really enjoyed that movie, I look for it all the time to re-watch. I also loved John Carter on Mars.
I really enjoyed that movie, I look for it all the time to re-watch. I also loved John Carter on Mars. I’m with you halfway, Steven Pete. I never saw Battleship, but I loved John Carter a lot. Bought the dvd a while back for like ten bucks, no regrets.
The thing about “Battleship” that gets me is that the tie-in video game on PS3 and Xbox 360 was actually pretty good. OK, that may be overstating it: it was serviceable as a game, but it had more interesting ideas than a tie-in usually does, combining an RTS-lite strategy element with FPS action.
That is always the biggest surprise when the tie in video game actually tries. It was like when you watch an old Corman film and realize the director is actually talented.
Wow, that is a very good comparison!
Sounds like a good vehicle for a popstar to break into movies right?
Would rather have a Nerf movie
“It’s an experimental substance designed to completely rewire the targets brain functions on contact. They call it Neuro-Electrical Realignment Foam. N.E.R.F. for short.”
Recently bought a modern view-master for the grandkids. What a piece of junk, barely stays in one piece, so poorly made. The kids were bored with in within two minutes. “Is that all it does”. Going in the trash.
View-Master just doesn’t belong in a world where I carry a device that allows me to look up nostalgic pictures of View-Masters whenever I desire.
It would be interesting if it became a horror movie, a spin-off of The Wishmaster. The people would meet the View Master who allowed visions into someone else’s twisted wish-fail and would be unable to do anything to stop it… I don’t know if this is actually a good idea but I have a feeling it’s still better than what’s going to be churned out.
What if the movie was about a magical…I don’t know what this movie should be about. Is Adam Sandler up to anything?
I’m finishing up my Frisbee script at the moment and then I’ll start working on the three movie epic Lite Brite.
Didn’t TRON already do those?
Well, so I looked at wikipedia for a list of Mattel toys. The next big movie should be Chatty Cathy – ladies will be lining up for a role that gives them dialogue!But my favorite on the list? Here, I’ll paste it in for you:Snub Nose .38 (1958) A small toy revolver that comes with a holster.
Guns? In movies? That’ll be the day!
…and now the toy company’s new partnership with MGM is giving birth to a live-action “family adventure” based on the your grandma’s favorite toy, the View-Master.Hey, it’s not just your grandma’s favorite! I really loved mine growing up, and I’m only……nevermind, as you were.
My wife and I both had them as kids, and she still had some of the disks in her mother’s old attic stuff. I was delighted to be handed an actual viewer one day in Times Square as part of a marketing promotion, and our then toddler daughter was treated to some disk versions of old kids shows, and the latest model year Ford lineup.
Strangely, the View-Master movie will not be released in 3D.
Never forget:The Tick and his View Master of Justice
I’m picturing this as a remake of “8 mm”. I’m sure the right director could pull off a snuff film slideshow.
Big Wheel: The Movie.It’s about a bunch of kids riding around on Big Wheels and solving crimes probably. One of the Big Wheels is a magic Big Wheel probably.
Maybe they should, I don’t know, actually release a movie and see how it goes before they put any more into production?
Let me guess, there will be a magic View Master and when you put a location in you actually jump to that location.