Meat Loaf is making a dating competition show called I'd Do Anything For Love… But I Won't Do That
TV Features Meat Loaf
In this world where everything is either about superheroes or some cheap and lazy “we can film this over Zoom!” bullshit, it’s nice when an idea comes along that is just goddamn great. We’re talking about ideas that prove there is an art to entertaining people, that not all media needs to be the sort of disposable trash you put on in the background while you do something else. This story isn’t about one of those idea, but damn, it sure is nice when that sort of thing comes along.
Anyway, Deadline says that Meat Loaf has teamed up with production company Nobody’s Hero—best known for Netflix’s Nailed It!—to create a “relationship competition series” called I’d Do Anything For Love… But I Won’t Do That (yes, like the song) where couples compete in “a variety of comedic physical games” that test how much they actually trust each other. It’ll all be set to “a soundtrack of classic hits,” with Meat Loaf executive producing and serving as an “ethereal figure behind the madness” (we’re picturing the Banker from Deal Or No Deal, but he’s wearing one of those frilly poet shirts, he’s absolutely worthless without Jim Steinman holding him up, and he’s close with that bad family we don’t talk about here anymore).
In a statement, Nobody’s Hero’s Christopher Potts and Jonty Nash said that their goal is “to create shows that are funny, clever, and buzzworthy, but two out of three ain’t bad,” with Meat Loaf adding, “You took the words right out of my mouth.” Credit where credit’s due: That’s pretty funny. But why stop at “I’d Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)“ when Meat Loaf has a decades-long career of ballads that could be turned into TV shows? This is The A.V. Club, so obviously we’re just going to riff on that now.
Bat Out Of Hell: This could be an American Ninja Warrior-style obstacle course thing, with contestants trying to escape from the Devil and be reunited with their beloved. Maybe they could do the course on motorcycles, but I’d Do Anything For Love is really just riffing on the title, not the content of the song, so it seems like cheating to bring in motorcycles or tunnels where the deadly are rising or a young boy who is starting to “foam in the heat.” (Also, what does any of that mean?)
Paradise By The Dashboard Light: This could be another dating show, maybe with a hidden camera conceit so the contestants don’t know they’re on a TV show, and they’re stuck in a car until they agree to either break up and get married. There could be some legally binding element where they’re contractually obligated to stay together for eternity if that’s what they pick. Every episode can have armed goons who check up on previous contestants to see if they’re still in love, and if not they get sent to Phil Rizzuto’s Pressure Cooker where they have to try and survive the terrifying Suicide Squeeze. (Again, though, these are the lyrics to the song.)
Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad: A quiz show, obviously, where contestants have to answer three trivia questions. If they get none, one, or three right, nothing happens. If they get two right, Meat Loaf (who will be hosting this one) says “two out of three ain’t bad” with a little shrug. There are no winners or prizes.
Rock And Roll Dreams Come Through: This could be some kind of singing competition show, but that’s a little on-the-nose. Maybe it’ll be a drama series about a teen runaway (Angelina Jolie) who is shepherded through a dark and gritty world by some kind of magic jukebox man while saving people’s lives with rock music. Then, in the end, even though she’s now learned about the fantastical life-changing power of rock ballads, she goes back to live with her mean parents. Actually, that’s just the plot of the music video.
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I don’t even care what the show is just so long as it’s hosted by Meatloaf in a blouse drinking from a goblet on a throne in a castle.But that’s always true.
MEATLOAF: Welcome to my castle. Tonight… Downton Abbey.
“From TV GUIDE, January 1999: ‘All in all, I found “The Sopranos” to be a smart, thrilling, and thought-provoking new drama. The only questionable element is the off-putting and truly inexplicable inclusion of pop sensation MEATLOAF as a “Crypt Keeper”-esque master-of-ceremonies leading in and out of every episode from his ornate throne in a billowy castle on a hill. I mean… what the fuck, HBO?’”
Is that real?
And Meat Loaf fuckin’ hosts it for a whole minute, before shuffling over to catch his breath while Ellen Foley hosts until the chorus.
You’re easy to please.
I just watched Sound Of Metal last night and one of the first lines is a joke about Meat Loaf’s last hit song. An undercooked movie with a great sound design concept, I will say. Back in the fall of 1993, I dismissed Meat Loaf. I was 20 and going to parties where ‘Paradise’ was played as a kind of joke. Oh, isn’t that 1970s Jim Steinman rock tune that sounds like a Bradway number funny (and Total Eclipse of the Heart)? But I had a musician friend who defended ‘everyman’ rockers like Meat Loaf and Kiss. He liked cheering for the unattractive little guy who made it big…and then landed a big sequel project 16 years later.
I would watch anything for fun…But I won’t watch that.
We had Meat do a Cameo for my dad’s birthday. One of my brothers had us add “Your kids said to send nudes. And I’d do anything for love, but I won’t do that” to the suggestion box. Meat didn’t quite understand, and the result was really, really funny. This video is one of my prize possessions.https://www.cameo.com/v/5f3d7b54ed9cf50021836658
That was fantastic.
Butt Stuff. It’s butt stuff he won’t do, isn’t it?
The first time I heard the song I thought it was about butt stuff. There’s not a lot of things it could be.
I would do anything for love…but I won’t leave the seat down!
Specifically rimming. Mind you, most Meatloaf songs are about rimming. Even his real name, Marvin Aday, is an anagram of ‘Rim A Van Day’.
He recently said it was pegging. Or getting pegged.
‘I Would Do Anything For Love… But I Won’t Do Thaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhh!!!’
ok, but he legally changed it to Michael after Levis’ “Poor Fat Marvin Can’t Wear 501s” ad. I’m pretty sure it was revenge for JIM including it in the song. “Can’t you see my faded Levi’s, tearing apart?” yeah, we get it. It’s a boner joke, Jim.
Ah, didn’t know that. Understandable.
No no no he’ll do butt stuff. Just not with you…
You know I never liked this interpretation, because, with a face and body like that, of course he does butt stuff. I mean he looks like a werewolf who got stuck mid-transformation.
Apparently, it’s apologize for being cult45? He’s made several non-political FB posts the last few years that immediately turned into Qult45 vs Demlibs and he’s deleted them within hours, it got so bad. The political ones didn’t even last an hour.
He would do anything for love except denounce his buddy Trump. Fuck Meatloaf.
And he’s apparently a climate-change denier. I suppose when you have enough money, you can endure the hurricanes and such a little better than the poors and still endorse policies that make everything worse.
I can think of a bunch of foods I’d fuck before meatloaf.
You STAY AWAY from my pie!
You STAY AWAY from my pie!That’s not what your mom said.
I can’t believe it took somebody that long.
Bagels, for starters.
Ouch!
He sucks big time. Also, Paradise by the Dashboard Light came up on a Spotify list recently and I actually listened to the lyrics for once . . . that song is sexist trash and makes him sound like the exact kind of prick he appears to actually be.
He didn’t write it…
Hmm, you can make a game like Hot Potato and call it “Hot Potato, Bless my Soul.”. Ya know named after RHPS song.
Dude has some good music. His stint on celebrity apprentice was hilarious because he would get extremely pissed off at everything.
With Bat Out of Hell I was picturing more a combination of Dancing With the Stars / Masked Singer and Death Race 2000 / Running Man. Too bad Richard Dawson isn’t around to host it.
Years back, he had a game show on AXS TV that was fun. I’ll watch anything with Meat Loaf.
How about a show called “Meatloaf” and it would be like Ellen’s Game of Games except everything would revolve around meatloaf. You miss a trivia question? Meatloaf throws meatloaf on you. You want to win that car? First you’ve got to climb Mt. Meatloaf; made out of real meatloaf. Surprise guest Ian Petrella who played Randy in A Christmas Story, comes out and hilariously re-enacts his scene where “he hates meatloaf” but in a surprising twist, Meatloaf beats the shit out of him because he said something bad about meatloaf (not Meatloaf…this is where Meatloaf gets confused and later, apologize profusely) and at the end Meatloaf sings a song. Preferably about meatloaf.And yes, it’s on the Food Channel.Either I’m a genius or this quarantine is really starting to get to me.
https://thayloitainha.vn
> There are no winners or prizes.That is a common factor in ANY game show involving Meatloaf. Meatloaf is not a rock singer and never has been. Steinman wrote (and continues to write) Broadway show versions of rock songs, and Meatloaf was (and is) a wannabe musical lead who was always too fat to get cast as anything but the comic relief. If you view him as a reject theater kid who ‘showed them all!’ and is now old and embittered that he never got his Tony, it all makes much more sense.
when I think of ML singing I think of John Belushi or even David Lee Roth singing—they have the attitude and desire, but not the ability so much
Roughly 20 years ago I found myself watching a VH1 special on Meat Loaf where he joked that “I would do anything for live, etc” is a fun line because you can substitute anything for the word “that.” So basically it’s taken 20 years for the lowest common denominator to reach “adapting a comment Meat Loaf made on VH1 in the early 2000s.”
I am unashamedly a Meat Loaf fan, but that is 100% true
“You’re an actor. Actors don’t make records. You’re like Ethel Merman. You’re like Robert Goulet. And I tell you, I have never been so mad at someone…We’re walking down Fifth Avenue in the middle of the afternoon, and I’m screaming FUCK YOU!!!! up at those offices. because I was gong to show them.”- VH1 StoryTellers
I’d do anything for fame; but I won’t lose weight.
He lost weight in the 90s, but then had to put on a fat suit to play Robert “BitchTits Bob” Paulson for Fight Club. He kept losing his pants in the black tie dining scene. When they run outside, he’s last one out and they fall down again as Brad is speaking. You can see the fat suit underneath.oh yeah, he’s been vegan since before then.
“Steal Meatloaf’s Paint” – a wacky reinvention of the classic Kimmel/Stein game show, co-starring Gary Busey
No. NO! Fuck you. No.
That song is about butt stuff, right?
Can’t wait for Trent Reznor’s dating show for Furries.
?
I saw him in his ‘down years’ circa 1990 or 1991 where some also unknown band named Blues Traveler opened for him. I was basically against the stage and the sheer amount of sweat that flew off both guys was incredible (and disgusting)I’m not kidding when I say Ted Striker had nothing on them.
His name was Robert Paulson.
This entire show sounds like a joke Jay Leno would make in 2003.
I don’t know, sounds like a joke made by a decent comedian (so not Leno).
I don’t know if you’re old enough to remember but the early 2000s were the golden age of proudly, self-consciously, trash reality shows. There was one where the women got plastic surgery, there was one where a woman who was adopted had to guess who her birth father, there was Temptation Island, there was Are You Hot. It became a sort of cultural shorthand – reality shows were trashy, lowest common denominator garbage. There was a subplot on the Sorkin wankfest Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip where the bad network executive wanted to create the trashiest, most immoral reality show of all time, and the good network exec had to stop him, in the name of good old-fashioned quality network dramas, like the West Wing.So this show, that’s basically a C-lister song title reworked into a reality show, sounds like the lowest common denominator trashfest that in early 2000s, was a stock punchline. Maybe an SNL sketch.
So my Mother-In-Law loves Meatloaf, and lived in one of the first markets where his music was ever played. For her 60th birthday we decided to get her a Cameo from him, thinking he might sing happy birthday and say thanks for being a fan for like a minute or two.Turns out, Meatloaf is a wild card. He sent us back a 40 minute long video, telling random stories about various happenings throughout his career. It was amazing. At the end of the video he wrapped up with “Happy Birthday from Mr. Loaf, but you can call me Meat.”
In this day and age, the show will devolve into “What’s the grossest sex-adjacent act I can getpast the TV censors?”