Our world’s collective fear of Furbys is born not from the stout, fluffy bodies of these ostensible “toys,” but rather their dead, piercing eyes, the likes of which promise to emerge dimly from the dark when one turns off a light. There’s some comfort, perhaps, in knowing their whirring robot brains can be reprogrammed to our liking, but it’s undeniable that they find power in numbers. This has prompted the frightened to destroy every Furby they can find, be it via water jet, hydraulic press, or a blistering hot ball of nickel.
The threat of destruction, however, has simply prodded the Furby to evolve. Like a Resident Evil zombie, the humble creation is taking on new, stranger forms. There’s FattyFurby, for example, but more prominent is LongFurby, who seems to be enrapturing Twitter’s Furby cognoscenti while instilling a simmering dread in outsiders with its twisted, Cronenbergian riff on the Furby form.
The rotund nature of the original Furby made it easy to love. Trading that for the serpentine torso of the LongFurby, which feels poised to curl around your neck at any time, adds a dash of menace to the creature. The Furby community, however, assures you that there is nothing to fear.
“I’m still discovering her quirks as I go!” Aloe, the LongFurby’s mad creator, told Vice, going on to clarify the creature’s mythology, which unfolds thusly:
As the mother of her race, she’s a woman, although Aloe says all Furbies are non-binary and can choose their own pronouns. She weighs 15 ounces and is three feet and two inches long. She’s two weeks old and already a divisive internet celebrity, inspiring baby coos from one side of the web and screams of horror from the other. She loves gardening, pizza, and hot dogs. She’s part of a family of 21 other, regular-length Furbies, including a black and pink one named Punky, a crowned queen named Big Deal, and an orange one named Pumpkin Spice Latte. Fans can buy their own LongFurby for $80 plus shipping.
Vice reports that, as of now, the waitlist to buy a custom LongFurby is more than 35 orders deep, though that number has probably risen by this point. Go to FurbyFuzz.tumblr.com to get one for yourself, but be careful should you try to destroy it. Something tells us this one won’t go down as easy as its counterparts.