It’s like our grandpa always told us (often unprompted, and at increasingly loud volumes over the years): If you call Joy Behar a bitch on national TV, they don’t let you lead a parade in Nashville anymore. Rap-rocker/human TruckNutz commercial Kid Rock found himself running afoul of that conventional wisdom this weekend, though, when he was booted from his prestigious post as Grand Marshal of the Nashville Christmas Parade after talking shit about the The View star during an interview segment with Fox & Friends.
Specifically, he said, “Screw that Joy Behar bitch,” shortly after launching into a miniature tirade about the evils of political correctness, because really, what else is Kid Rock going to talk about on live TV? Music? The Fox News hosts were, of course, shocked—shocked, we say!—that the Kid, that master of decorum, might have breached protocol in such a publicly uncouth way, issuing several apologies for the live incident. Behar, meanwhile, seems to have taken it in stride, saying on The View later that day that, “This bitch and these bitches will be happy to have you on the show and have a beer.”
None of this sat well, though, with the organizers of the Nashville Christmas Parade, who were probably already not absolutely overjoyed at the thought of having Kid Rock serve as their public face. (He owns a bar in Nashville that’s a major sponsor of the parade, so there you go.) Having found a good pretext for which to boot him from the proceedings, then, they immediately did so. Rock was replaced by “Waffle House hero” James Shaw Jr., who wrestled a rifle away from a gunman during a shooting in Tennessee earlier this year.
And while there was some suggestion that Rock and his associates might fight the decision—because if the combined might of all America’s tastemakers and music critics from 1998 onward can’t keep Kid Rock out of somewhere he’s not wanted, what’s a dinky little city council going to do?—but he eventually relented. He released a statement today, in fact, noting that while “My parade has been rained on!” he still supported the event itself, and especially the work of the Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital, which had a float in this morning’s festivities. It was actually kind of sweet, especially since he managed to not, like, pick a fight with Sheryl Underwood from The Talk while doing so.
Anyway, we’re sure all of this will someday make for a charming little information kiosk somewhere in the Kid Rock Presidential Library (Mall Of America edition).
40 Comments
Dr. Philbilly certainly earned this.
It didn’t help that he tied a rope to each wrist and ankle and told them if he got high enough, he’d be a parade balloon, too.
It’s kind of interesting commentary on Kid Rock that I have no idea if this is something he actually said and did or just some internet snark
Also: How does that not help? I would watch that.
It’s unclear whether Shaw performed his actions merely to save his own and several other people’s lives, or if he was motivated, either in some part or entirely, by the nookie. So are we confusing Kid Rock with Limp Bizkit, or is there some sort of glitch in random 1990s pop culture snark generator? I’m pretty sure we can do better than that. It’s unclear whether Shaw performed his actions merely to save his own and several other people’s lives, or _________. because somebody once told him the world was gonna roll him.because he wanted to be your lover and get with your friends.so he could go down on you in a theater.because every morning there’s a halo hanging from the corner of his girlfriend’s four post bed.because he’s a brick and he’s drowning (slowly).because the Dolphins make him cry.because the hooooook brought him back.
I noticed that, too. I’m embarrassed that I was immediately like, “No, that’s a Limp Bizkit song!”
I have always believed that the first rule in investigating is to “follow the nookie”.
It always is. In any situation.
So are we confusing Kid Rock with Limp Bizkit, or is there some sort of glitch in random 1990s pop culture snark generator?Clearly a Mandela Effect. Because in the world I grew up in, Kid Rock died in prison, but not before he regaled us with classic songs, like Bullfrog, HawWithTheHaw, and Cowpoke. Also, my timeline never had a Limp Bizkit. And I am sure we were better off for it.
They had some ok noise. I liked Break Stuff and that thing he did with Mef was pretty cool too.
You just gotta have faith, faith, faith-a.
It’s all a part of the Late ‘90’s Rap/Rock Nu-Metal Universe. A universe where every freak on a leash feasts on chocolate starfish and hot dog flavored water and no one gets down with the sickness. Where no one looks down on you for wanting to break stuff. Where bodies hitting the floor only happens as a last resort. Where everyone is too embarrassed to admit that even they don’t know what the hell Bawitdaba means.
I believe they’re just referencing another song from the rap-rock era that was popular when he last had a hit song. It’s in the same wheelhouse. The nookie motivated a lot of things in the late 90s.
No, they weren’t. Or they wouldn’t have edited their bullshit. Stop apologizing for these liberal pieces of shit.
That’s what happens when you want to look cool and smart and “with it” while writing for a glorified blog. You faceplant like the moron you are.
You’ve fallen victim to an elaborate sting. The anti-Kid-Rock-PC-Guvmint set up this article specifically to out people who knew enough about him to distinguish him from Durst. Having now overplayed your hand, you can soon expect a visit from agents who have sensible haircuts, reasonable levels of facial hair, an absence of body odor, and are wearing absolutely no articles of clothing that feature an American flag motif beyond a simple, tasteful lapel pin. If you run now, you may be able to escape and live to rock another day!
I’m just now realizing that Hootie meant Dolphins as in the team.
Thing is… Joy Behar is a total bitch.
Robin Tunney called her “a big ole’ bitch” in the episode of Celebrity Poker they were both on —she had been a guest on The View but Behar snubbed her when she tried to be friendly during the poker episode & Tunney then froze her out when she busted her out of the game. I still don’t want to hear it from Kid Rock though
Robin Tunney is a known witch.
And not just any bitch. But THE bitch.
Thing is … Behar and the rest of the View panelists are a bunch of C U Next Tuesdays. They say all sorts of vile, uninformed shit on a daily basis to an ignorant audience. Blows my mind that shows like that and The Talk and worst of all The Real stay on air.
Kid Rock? More like Old Man Rock.
There’s lots of things Mr. Rock could talk about on love TV
He’s the most hideous Michigan export since Tim Allen, but long live Bruce Campbell.
Hail to the King, Baby!
He should be replaced with Megyn Kelly. Similar to Mr Rock, there is nothing in her history that would suggest she would say anything offensive.
He’s Ted Nugent’s Mini-Me.
How about, fuck this 47 year old asshole making terrible music no one listens to, a spoilt middle-class fuck pretending he’s down and dirtily raw and real, and that he’s just a drunken shithead who was never good to begin with? How about he stares in the mirror and sees his aging drink-ravaged face, has a good cry, realizing he never had any talent, and he’s just an old dipso sleaze who still calls himself “Kid Rock”? He is neither.
Been there, done that. STill making shitty music. How’s your poor life going, pleb?
Middle class? His dad owned dealerships. If he actually worked his way up from middle class, I might have a modicum of respect for the untalented fuck.
“His dad owned dealerships.” This checks out.
Good point. It’s weird, but I read a lot of British papers and authors and articles, and I think I was unconsciously using their terminology. To them, “middle class” means what we think of as “upper middle class”. Really affluent families with nice renumarative jobs and clothes and a second home for vacations, maybe in France or the Hamptons. Actually, here we’d call them “rich”. But they’re not aristos, so they’re “middle class” there. It’s different. But yeah, Kid Rock was a rich kid from a rich family,(his real name is actually Rich) but he really is the low trash he portrays himself as, and fuck him.
I’m sure he’s heartbroken.
Sorry, but the dude who wrestled the gun away from a shooter should have been higher on the list than Kid Rock.I feel bad for James Shaw Jr. that he was called in because Kid Rock was dropped. He should tell them to go fuck themselves.
Wresting a public appearance from Kid Rock is only marginally less heroic than overpowering a gunman.
Just dropping in to remark that I was not aware Joaquin Phoenix was playing Kid Rock in an upcoming biopic.Hm? No, you’re crazy, because that’s clearly what the header image indicates.
Kid Rock looks like Dr. Phil cosplaying as Kid Rock.
I like to imagine that Kid Rock is Dwayne Johnson’s illegitimate lovechild in spite of the age working the wrong way. Kid uses his dad’s name as a desperate plea for approval and to shove his failures in the face of his successful and embarrassed old man. Someday though, Johnson will open up and give his offspring the love he desperately needs. Dwayne, please…come get your boy!
Good for James Shaw Jr. I’m glad he’s the parade marshal now. Definitely an upgrade over Kid Rock.