Nic Cage lands the role of a lifetime in Willy's Wonderland: Murdering evil animatronic beasts
Film Features Willy's Wonderland
First, they came for the innocent night security guards in Five Nights At Freddy’s, and we said nothing. Next, they attacked a group of simple TV-show fans in The Banana Splits Movie, and we similarly remained silent. But now, we can be silent no more: For the concept of evil sentient animatronic animals has now threatened national treasure Nicolas Cage (see what we did there), and such base treachery will not stand.
He may be a little late to the party, premise-wise, but Willy’s Wonderland, the latest entry in the malevolent-animatronics subgenre of entertainment, looks like it has the potential to easily be the best. The reason is simple: This time, it’s Cage who is forced to confront these creatures and brutally execute them, one by one. The actor plays a drifter whose car breaks down near the Chuck E. Cheese-like fun factory of Willy’s Wonderland, and in exchange for repairs, the owner hires him to spend the night performing janitorial duties in the place (like you do). Soon enough, a group of young people show up to warn Cage’s mysterious hero that he’s not really a temp janitor, but the latest human sacrifice for this demonic institution. Of course, such warnings turn out to be unnecessary; as one of the kids, who is obviously a fan of Watchmen, says: “He’s not trapped in there with them. They’re trapped in here with him.”
For his part, Cage looks like he’s treating this as his chance to do a gloss on Eastwood’s Man With No Name, as he doesn’t speak a single word in the trailer, instead exuding quiet badassery and waiting to go HAM on some feather-and-metal creations—starting with an ostrich. Add in Beth Grant as a local cop, and Willy’s Wonderland looks like the kind of campy horror treat that could make for an excellent midnight movie, provided the film refrains from winking too hard at the audience. (Bafflingly, the YouTube description includes a link to willyswonderland.com—but if you copy and paste it into your browser, GoDaddy cheerfully offers to sell the domain to you. Huh?) Regardless, we’ll know the entertainment value soon enough: Willy’s Wonderland digitally and on demand February 12.
25 Comments
Has Cage paid off all those massive debts they talked about him having in the 2000s? I know he was in the hole for a lot of money but he seems like he’s been working pretty steadily in the past 10 years, if he didn’t go & buy any more castles or whatever he ought to be in pretty alright financial shape.
I was thinking the same thing. I heard he makes just about anything to get a few bucks for his money issues, but come on. Dude is in a lot of garbage. Like a lot. Is this like a Krusty the Clown type situation?
I was under the impression, and maybe it’s apocryphal, that he legally can’t turn down a role if he’s capable of doing it.
He’s also said he doesn’t do well when he isn’t constantly working on something.
Yeah, being in an off-brand knockoff of a popular children’s property seems like more of a Rob Schneider or Tara Reid career move than a Nicolas Cage one.
I’m guessing it’s the opposite of what everybody seems to say; I think Cage probably has enough money that he doesn’t really give a shit what he signs-up for. Is it weird? Does he get to scream a lot and go Full Nic Cage? Then he’s game!
He was apparently in massive financial trouble because he was somehow managing to spend away all the money he earned when he was an A-list action hero on ridiculous things like castles and dinosaur skeletons.
Ridiculous? Well, guess who’s no longer invited to Fort Dino! And I was going to let you pet my octopus.
I was wondering, how’s your willy?
It’s a wonderland.
A variety of bright colors and full of mushroom shaped blisters?
Young children enjoy it all day!…wait a second.
Don’t call it junk, it’s a national treasure!
Windmilling happily.
Also, why is every role that Nicholas Cage gets “the role of a lifetime”? Mandy? Role of a lifetime! Guy who gets brainwashed & tries to murder his kids? Role of a lifetime! Host of a show about cursing? It’s the role he was born to play! Like we get it, he’s ca-raaaaay-zee!
Have you seen JIU JITSU. Its the roll of a lifetime!
Nic Cage as a sushi chef? It’s the roll(-maker) of a lifetime!
Nic Cage as Lech Wałęsa? It’s the Pole of a lifetime!
I shouldn’t, but star anyway.
Tom Hanks only plays god-men; Cage only takes Roles Of A Lifetime.
This is the roll of a lifetime
What a coincidence… I call my crotch area “willy’s wonderland.”Also it’s full of malevolent-animatronics & I hired Nic Cage to supervise it at night.
Amazing what a producer and director
do with their COVID money these days.
Twist ending: The animatronics were not out to kill anyone, it was Nic Cage’s drug-fueled delusion all along and in real life he just destroyed some poor kid’s birthday party.
Jesus, how much money does he owe?