Not even the Roku channel wants to air the Golden Globes this year—report

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results,” or so the saying—most commonly attributed to man of the moment Albert Einstein—goes. In recent years, however, the oft-quoted parable could also apply to the spiraling Golden Globes, who really, really want audiences to watch celebrities get trashed even though those same audiences have proven over and over that they really could not give less of a shit.

Same, it seems, with every network that could actually air the thing. Per a new report from Puck News, the Golden Globes still don’t actually have a streaming deal in place, despite holding fast to their previously announced January 7, 2024 date. While Variety reported that the Globes were “entertaining multiple offers from potential distribution partners” back in February, it seems like all those paths have gone cold in a big way.

According to Puck, the awards show—which is now a for-profit organization managed by Dick Clark productions (owned by Penske Media) and private equity firm Eldridge Industries—turned down a low-ball offer from long-time (and occasionally on-a-break) partner NBC in March. The channel reportedly already ran the production for a fraction of its once-$60 million licensing fee.

It gets worse from there. Reportedly, CBS, Fox, Netflix, Amazon, ABC/Disney+/Hulu, Apple TV+, the Turner networks, and even the Roku channel have also turned down the broadcast. That’s right: the Roku channel, home of such prestigious originals as UFO Cowboys and Lincoln Log Masters. All networks apparently cited the high asking price (and possibly the lingering stain of controversy surrounding the late Hollywood Foreign Press Association’s lack of Black voters and proclivity for receiving gifts and bribes from studios, although Puck’s sources did not confirm). Reps for the show and HFPA did not respond to Puck’s requests for comment.

This is all extra funny in light of June’s announcement that the HFPA—a group of journalists who had always run the show—was dissolving and recreating itself as a for-profit organization. Further, the new organization is set to pay its employees—former HFPA members who elect not to take a staggering $225,000 severance—a $75,000 salary to “screen films and TV series submitted for Golden Globe consideration,” vote on awards, and “create content” for the Golden Globes website, which already sounds like a mighty cushy job—one that may get even cushier if there’s not even a broadcast to vote on in the first place.