"Oh fuck!": Gwyneth Paltrow finally makes a Goop video we want to watch
Aux Features Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwyneth Paltrow has a new expensive face oil she wants you to buy… We just hope it’s not in a breakable vial.
The Iron Man actress and lifestyle brand creator posted a video on her Instagram Sunday touting the reported benefits of her new product: “IT’S A BIG DAY FOR US. If you know me at all, you know that I live for face oil,” reads the caption of the video—which is not the point of this story in the slightest, so feel free to skip ahead if you want. “We set out to make the perfect addition to our goopgenes family- the all in one nourishing face oil. This product is a miracle, it’s made with the retinol alternative, bakuchiol, which is clinically proven to help diminish the appearance of lines and wrinkles, improve skin firmness, smooth skin texture, and increase glow. We are committed to making the BEST cleanical skincare on the market…”
We really couldn’t care less about the product (well, if it works and someone wants to gift it to us, we wouldn’t turn it down), but the ad still makes for an enjoyable watch only for the final seconds in which Paltrow accidentally drops the vial and screams “oh fuck!”
The look on her face is priceless, though there’s a small part of us that thinks the Academy Award winner was acting and this is all part of a marketing ploy. “I am committed to swearing less in 2021,” Paltrow finishes her Instagram caption. “Whoops.”
Send Great Job, Internet tips to [email protected]
63 Comments
If she exposes herself to more Goop products, she might forget she was in the MCU entirely.
sometimes, in the morning when I am slathering on a hat, I ask myself ‘how much longer can this realistically continue?’. embrace the sun! old is the new 20! consciously uncouple from beauty standards!
get that it’s a slow news day and we all need some distraction from the losses of the pandemic, but ‘endlessly cool woman has dropped a bottle’ feels unnecessary somehow, y’know.
Wait until we get the post about the Long Winters guy.
Fun fact: The OP thinks liking Zach Snyder movies is equal to being a black person in America…
Hey, people with learning disabilities DO have it pretty bad.
It’s over on The Takeout…though you’ll have to scroll down to The Comments before any mention of his racism:https://thetakeout.com/the-baked-beans-can-opener-twitter-debate-of-2021-expl-1845980546Oh, and he deleted his Twitter account, and apparently he’s friends with the new host of Jeopardy!.
Goop made Paltrow way less cool than she hopes to be (judging from how active she is on Instagram comments other than her own).
not a consumer of beauty products but Paltrow could sell me sunshine in the desert and i’d at least go ‘wooo, that’s pretty’.
I have to admit that’s better than the vagina crystal eggs she actually sells.
So Paltrow’s taking medical advice from David Firth…
I’m not sure any Goop product does anything. You’d expect that exposing herself to a wide range of face oils, exfoliants, etc, would lead to her looking at least a little bit younger than her age.
I was hoping for:“I live for face oil!”“Fuck you, too, Mom!”“Aw, fuck!”
. . . the ad still makes for an enjoyable watch only for the final seconds in which Paltrow accidentally drops the vial and screams “oh fuck!”Starved for entertainment, are we?
Wasn’t it just magical?!
If only there was some sort of award I could nominate this for to upset other, more deserving shitty social media posts.
i was dropping stuff accidentally like a dipshit and then used foul language before it was cool.
oh shit this is how Resident Evil started
If it doesn’t involve a stone egg, I’m not interested.
🎶 Stone egg!’Tis a magic cure! Healing up your vagUntil it’s clean and pure! 🎶
There’s a size joke in there somewhere, and it’s probably better I don’t try to find it.
I was told this would be a video of her being crushed by a boulder. This isn’t even a distant second. BE BEST AV CLUB!
Here’s the closest we have
Are you really a Cannabis Columnist, Josh? Please send your URL, thx.
I am, pre COVID I wrote a syndicated column re: cannabis and CBD for nearly 6 years. Then came the dark times, which killed over 350K people in the States, along with the newspapers carrying my work. I’ve migrated about half of my work and new content to CannabuzzColumnist dot com
Thanks!
though there’s a small part of us that thinks the Academy Award winner was acting and this is all part of a marketing ployYeah, uhhhh, only a “small part” thinks that? Yikes.
If you’re really that naive and able to function in the world, I’m happy for you. But if you’re also the Editor in Chief of a noteworthy media blog and you’re that naive? I fear things will end badly for you.
Not exactly an Academy Award winning performance.
I love that this has a GIF already.
Just because she’s a professional actor advertising her billion dollar lifestyle company doesn’t mean the slapstick moment was staged!I guess the article is a little bit tongue in cheek, but it’s fundamentally someone saying “check out this hilarious commercial!” It’s a larger issue – basically everything on social media is heavily monetized promotional content, but we treat it like conversation. Sort of like how Gwyneth Paltrow is a business owner and occasional actor, but we insist that she’s an actor who happens to own a business.
I thought her company was entirely dedicated to vagina related products
‘This Face Smells Like My Vagina’
The two great tastes that taste great together.
Since most of her customers have vaginas, yes.
they do sell nice vaginas.
Lol. You crazy.Also, I doubt it.
Well… one would want the face smooth for when they go downtown.
Nah, that’s backwards…I wanna go to town on a fresh-shaven vag; I think my stubble helps my performance, if anything.
What’s in the box, indeed.
I do love a cosmetic product that might cause numbness in my extremities and loss of fine motor control.
Also makes for an effective sexual lubricant.
I’m not putting that on my little willy!!!
Even if it will take 10 years off it?
I’ve earned every one of ‘em!
It could be your lucky willy!
Well it is magically delicious.
I don’t have a degree in science. But my years of watching internet videos makes me think this product would work best if, rather than applied to the face, the entire bottle was inserted into the vagina. #jadeeggforlife
Gotta remove the cap first, doh; and insert it while standing on your head during a Full Moon. It will not only stop pre-menstrual flow*, but act as birth control** as well!Disclaimer:* – May cause early menopause** – May cause infertility
I have a couple of degrees in science, I can say that you are correct.
I may not be the most erudite, deep person all the time, but if I ever say “If you know me at all, you know that I live for face oil,” please inform me that I’ve truly fucked up life.
”Peripheral neuropathy” Gwynny. Look into it.
Uhhh…I know you were being a smart-ass, but that was actually a very informative link. Thanks! I actually checked-off 4 out of the 10 causes; guess I probably need to bring this up with a doctor at some point…maybe after I get vaccinated (February 8th! Woo-hoo!)
I just saw Gwyneth Paltrow’s first performance. It was an episode of Columbo with Blythe Danner who was apparently 6 months pregnant with her at the time. It’s by far my favorite performance by Paltrow. -sniff-
I was actually mildly surprised that her forehead wrinkled and moved a little bit – thought she’d have been botoxed to the eyeballs …
But whose faces did they grind up to make the oil?
Baby seals
I don’t quite get how there could be “a small part” of you that thinks this is a marketing ploy when all of this is clearly a calculated part of her weird branding. My guess would be that it’s supposed to be “funny and relatable”. *shiver*.
I also produce a lot of face oil but nobody will buy it.
you know that I live for face oilSome sort of oil. No face, but. Lower to the ground. More hissy.
Gwyneth Paltrow finally makes a Goop video we want to watchSpeak for yourself.
‘there’s a small part of us that thinks the Academy Award winner was acting and this is all part of a marketing ploy’Wow, nothing gets by you guys!
“cleanical?” is that some kind of goop speak to avoid saying “clinical?”