Proving screen addiction is good for you, a napping California teen smacks attacking bear with laptop
Aux Features bears
Medical experts are divided on the existence of “screen addiction,” but whatever caused a napping Southern California teen to keep her laptop within arms reach may have saved her life. A 19-year-old resident of Sierra Madre, Calif. was napping in a chair at her backyard Monday evening when a black bear
suddenly attacked her, scratching at her arms and legs and
biting her, USA Today reports. According to a California Fish and Wildlife captain, the unidentified teen grabbed her laptop and smacked the bear with
it. “She managed to break free of the bear enough to
run back inside,” the CFAW captain, Patrick Foy, tells the outlet, which verified that the teen sustained minor injuries to
her arms and legs, none of which are life-threatening.
Located about 20 miles northeast of Los Angeles, Sierra Madre is in the foothills of the San Gabriel Valley, where black bear sightings are common but unprovoked attacks are not. Foy says Monday’s attack was “100 percent unprovoked” and the teen was right to fight back. “The recommendation to play dead is in the incident of grizzly bears,” he explains.
In a bit of “well, I wish you hadn’t included that” news, USA Today reports that a bear and her cub were captured
in the area Tuesday night by the Department of Fish and Wildlife, but neither of
their DNA matched up with swabs taken of the teen’s bite mark.
The plan had been to tranquilize the two bears and take them to Angeles
National Forest, but the cub inadvertently died due to complications from the tranquilizer; the mother bear was transported safely.
As a palate cleanser, might we suggest our story about the goats who recently invaded a California suburb? Or how about the herd of bison in Montana that just wanted to be on TV and ended up sending a local news reporter on the run?
Send Great Job, Internet tips to [email protected]
38 Comments
The laptop inadvertently died due to complications from the impact.
What brand of laptop was it? The marketing potential is endless.
Panasonic Toughbook, obviously.
alienware, unfortunately
“Our laptops have successfully warded off more bear attacks than any other brand!”
Screen addiction: good for humans, bad for bears.
Searching for bears on the internet has always been iffy.
Proving screen addiction is good for you
also, if you’re attacked by a panda, you should jam his mobile phone up his nose.
Someone told me if a dog is attacking you, you’re supposed to stick a stylus in its ass.
Icebear does not approve.
Icebear needs a reality check.
nose?
Funny things are happening around
Probably because I just woke up, I skim-read the headline as “teen smacks attacking bear with lollipop”, and it was a delightful image
Do not post from the forbidden show.
This is a far, far better sketch from a UK show which reflects the story in a more amusing manner too –
Though I barely understood half of it. That was hilarious. I wanted to see if that story was going where I thought it was though.
Limmy’s Scottish is a particularly strong brand, but over time I’ve learnt how to understand it, I’d recommend checking out the rest of the series too (it’s just called “Limmy’s Show”) as it’s really unconventional but nearly always really funny too.
He’s a nice guy too. Apparently he now earns his living livestreaming truck-driving games on Twitch. More revalations here:-https://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/richard_herring_lst_podcast/rhlstp_274_limmy/
Yeah, I listened to that episode and liked it a lot, Herring sometimes annoys me, but that particular episode was really great. I’ve tried to watch the Twitch stream though but just don’t find it interesting watching other people playing games, he’s funny at times but it’s just not my cup of tea. Still, fortunately he’s still producing some tv (like the recent Limmy’s Homemade Show) and writing books, so it’s not just Twitch that he’s doing.
Funny as it was, I watched it a second time with auto-generated subtitles and it may actually have been funnier.
I loved that! I am not too bad at deciphering the accent, missed about a 1/4 but what a nice little bit of funny!
A teenager? Honestly, I would like to hear the bear’s side of the story.
Was the teenager watching TikTok videos? That could drive any animal into a blind rage.
“fuckin kid stole my laptop!”
Who gives a shit about the teenager I’m sad about that cub.
Look at the bears! Look at the bears! Look at the bears!
Well Jesus there’s different techniques for dealing with different types of bears? That feels like too much work, think I’ll just get eaten.
We need the bear industry to standardise their models. It’s laptop chargers all over again.
The saying goes: “If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lie down. If it’s white, say goodnight.” Fight black bears, play dead with grizzlies, and if a polar bear gets to you, you are well and truly fucked.
Thank you, mnemonics are always helpful, although the polar bear part is less so in this case. Of course, we as a species are rapidly taking care of that particular threat.
Really? Not one of you mentioned Brian Blessed?You seppoes need to get out more.
bears hate social media
Assuming there’s a post on BearBook …“So this girl was sleeping in her yard, and she had ants all over her, so I tried to get them off and she pummeled me with a notebook!”
This wouldn’t have happened with a properly funded bear patrol.