21 holiday movies that are definitely more naughty than nice
From Silent Night to Black Christmas to Bad Santa, we've rounded up some twisted alternatives to the season's usual sappy film fare
Film Features Denis Leary
It’s Christmas time again, which means more marathons of the same old sappy, feel-good movies. But what if you’re sick of watching A Miracle On 34th Street for the gazillionth time? If you’re in the mood for something a little more adult, Silent Night just hit theaters this week. And that’s just one of many options, because long before Joel Kinnaman went on a silent Christmas revenge rampage, Hollywood was cranking out R-rated holiday movies that are far more naughty than nice—and not just horror films, but risqué Christmas comedies, too.
So, tuck the little ones in for the night, spike some eggnog, and get ready for surly Santas, merry mayhem, and a lot of ho-ho-horror. The A.V. Club has rounded up some of the season’s naughtiest, most mean-spirited alternatives to give you a break from all the traditional family fare that hogs the spotlight every December.
56 Comments
Don’t Open Till Christmas is decent if you want 80s sleaze. Lot of fun movies here. Gremlins is easily the best of this bunch. The Black Christmas remakes are terrible.
Yes, both remakes suck so bad.
I prefer Rare Exports to Gremlins.
Fatman was great. I know Mel Gibson is shitty and is dragged (rightly) on this site constantly, but Walt Goggins’ awesomeness cancels it out in this movie.
i couldn’t say it better. fun movie.
“Is you name ‘Thurman’?”“Yeah.”“…Thurman Murmann?”“…yeah…”“………..jesus.”
Black Christmas 2019 was as bad as Black Christmas 2006 in a complety different way. I can’t stand either movie.The original one is a great horror movie with a great ending.
The 2006 remake is a lot of campy fun if you can forget it’s supposed to be a remake. They basically take everything that was subtle and suspenseful about the original and go completely bonkers and over-the-top with it, which is at least a choice. The 2019 remake has nothing worthwhile going on.
The 2006 remake I at least sat through and watched again because it’s just a 2000 horror remake trying to be a bit funny (the incest thing was a bit much) but the 2019 remake was so bad I never want to see a minute of that shit again.
I wish someone at TBS would screw up and marathon Black Christmas. “Bob Clark…Christmas movie…yeah, this has to be it.”
Die Hard.That’s it. That’s my comment.
I’ll give you Die Hard but don’t forget Lethal Weapon is also a Christmas movie
Absolutely LOVE The Night Before… It is one of the Christmas movies I always have to watch this time of year.
My brother and I can’t not shout “Garbage day!” every Tuesday night when taking out the trash because of Silent Night, Deadly Night 2. It’s totally involuntary at this point. Neither of us have even seen the entire movie, just that scene, which also has a completely insane car stunt that looks like it came within a hair’s breadth of killing the main actor.
My problem with Better Watch Out is I just hated spending time with that kid.The Children seemed like a made-for-TV movie in terms of production quality.I’m surprised you didn’t include another Santa as violent action hero movie, Fatman from 2020. It’s not as good as the Nelms brothers earlier “Small Town Crime”.
Anna and the Apocalypse is definitely worth watching. It’s the best Christmas zombie musical I’ve ever seen.
And it was (at least my) introduction to the adorable Scot/Hong Kongese Marli Siu (Lisa in Anna and the Apocalypse) — her song (a parody of “Santa Baby” that makes the subtext text) in A&tA is hilarious.
I’m ho ho ho disappointed that Die Hard isn’t here.
That “animatronic Santa goes haywire” one sounds ripped off from Futurama.
Glad that The Ref made this list. This was prime Denis Leary “everyman comedian”. This one rant even made my old Marine dad laugh out loud:“Look kid… what I do, running around, stealing stuff, may sound great when you’re 14 years old, but it sucks just a little bit when you’re 35. No house, no family. I got a partner who’s 56, alcoholic… he still can’t understand why they took “Happy Days” off the air. And then I got to turn on the TV every day and see kids like you, one after another on these talk shows. You got everything, opportunities up the ass, you got a family to come home to, and what do you do? You sit around, and you bitch and you moan, because things don’t go your way. Well, you know what, kid? Welcome to the real world, where most times things don’t go your fucking way.” – Gus (Denis Leary)
The Ref is my parents’ favorite Christmas movie. They would watch it at least twice every December. You couldn’t get through a Christmas day without hearing my mom say “Slipper Socks! Medium!” at least five times.It was a really cathartic film for my dad—he had an overbearing, guilt-tripping mother just like the one in the movie*. Nothing made him laugh harder than when Lloyd says to his mother “You know what, Mom? You know what I’m going to get you next Christmas? A big, wooden cross. So anytime you feel unappreciated for all your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it.”
“My grandmother was terrible to my parents, but in her defense (and unlike the grandmother in the film), she was great to my brothers and I.
The cross line is great. My wife’s mother is brutally passive-aggressive with a bit of a martyr complex so I need to suggest she break that out next time things get testy.
“Bad Santa” is a Christmas staple at our house. I can’t believe the late Bernie Mac didn’t get a call-out though as he’s a perfect foil to John Ritter’s character. “Half.”
Bad Santa is maybe the only Xmas film of the last 25 years I can bring myself to care about.
“haffff”
The first date I went on with my now wife was going to see Bad Santa. I took her to Olive Garden for dinner after, it was a really classy night that led to 20 years together 🙂
Did you insist she pay haaaahf?
I watched Bad Santa for the first time (!?!) last night. I think I thought it was more aggressively tasteless, so really enjoyed it’s mellower pace. Forgot the Coens were involved, and definitely felt their touch. Loved it. Gonna do #2 tonight!
Better Watch Out is great! Best to go in not knowing anything about it.
Um where is Eyes Wide Shut? It’s the holliest jolliest Christmastime-set movie of all!
Fuck.
Cheers!
Missing from the list is “Santa’s Slay” starring Goldberg. In this one Santa is the Anti-Christ, who goes on a rampage after being freed from his 1,000 years punishment of delivering toys to kids, all due to him losing a Curling match against an angel.
Yeah, that one’s good dumb fun!
There’s one mean-spirited Christmas film that’s just objectively the best.
No Ice harvest? For shame.
A Christmas staple in my family.
It’s old (1955) and not bloody, but you forgot –
We’re No Angels starring Humphrey Bogart, Aldo Ray and Peter Ustino. Christmas, escapees from Devil’s Island, some thievery and confidence games, a poisonous snake and at least two murders. Funny as hell and kinda sweet too.
My Larry King Memorial Bullet Points…• The ending to Christmas Evil is so adorable.• Silent Night, Deadly Night is actually a pretty good character study. And that “Santa’s Watching” song the plays throughout is a legitimately great fake “kids’ Christmas song.”• The Ref — and everyone’s performances — makes me wish Kevin Spacey wasn’t such a…Kevin Spacey.
I’d add Who Slew Auntie Roo? Cozy & campy, it’s a good bit of morbid British fun from the early ’70s starring Ralph Richardson, Shelley Winters, and the kid from Oliver!
I watched “Better Watch Out” entirely due to reading this list, and I very much appreciate the recommendation. It fooled me on several different turns, but was a lot of fun (though oh my if the ending had gone the way I was expecting I would have enjoyed it far, far less)
Alright then, now I’ll be watching Black Christmas’. All three of them, but in reverse order. I will report my findings later. Does anyone even come back to these after they’ve been up for 4 days?
It’s not fancy, but my wife and I watch the horror comedy Santa’s Slay every year, starring Bill Goldberg as Santa Claus who is also the antichrist. If you’ve ever wanted to see Chris Kattan and Fran Drescher murdered in the opening five minutes of a movie, check it out.
until right now, I didn’t know that was something I’ve always wanted.
My work here is done. Watch and be healthy.
Batman Returns, the ultimate xmas film.
We are not doing a Black Christmas 2019 redemption tour. I refuse to let this happen.
The original Rare Exports short is great. The movie, not so much.
Christmas Bloody Christmas is such a bad movie. I think it was written by an 8th Grader. Ever other word out of the actors mouths is F@ck. The dialogue is so egregious, it ruins the film.
So “Christmas Bloody Christmas” is a Futurama prequel?
I’m going to add Less Than Zero to the conversation. It takes place during Christmas break and that’s about it, but man! It isn’t light hearted.
I find it criminal that this list does not include Bill Murray’s 1988 classic (for me anyways) “Scrooged” A twisted, mean-spirited, very late 80’s take on “A Christmas Carol”, the movie boasts a great cast, some solid laughs, good effects and a genuinely sweet romance between Murray and Karen Allen.
Pissed me off as well. Lord what an oversight.
I was surprised to accidentally discover that “Battle Royale 2″ is in fact a Christmas movie… too bad it’s a steaming pile of shit compared to the First one.