Some people clearly did not watch The Adventures Of Mary-Kate & Ashley, because they’re just finding out now that WandaVision star Elizabeth Olsen is actually an Olsen sister. Perhaps the fact that they look a lot alike should’ve given it away—but we digress.
Not only are they sisters, but there’s a whole diss track about the Olsen twins not wanting to hang out with her little sister, called “B-U-T-T Out.” Comedy writer Georgia Shenk shared the nostalgic diss track on Twitter over the weekend.
The song’s off The Adventures Of Mary-Kate & Ashley episode The Case Of Thorn Mansion. When Mary-Kate and Ashley get a call from a woman claiming to have seen some potential paranormal activity at Thorn Mansion, the twins decide to head to the mansion to investigate. But there’s “one small itsy-bitsy thing” standing in their way: their then-lesser-famous sibling, Lizzie Olsen. Little Lizzie just wanted to join in on the fun and do some big kid stuff, maybe even see a ghost. But Mary-Kate and Ashley weren’t having it: “We’d rather be picked up by a twister than tagged along after by a sister.” Harsh!
This isn’t the only diss track Mary-Kate and Ashley have on one of their siblings. Poor Trent Olsen got the worst of it, with “Brother For Sale.” But hey, at least Lizzie Olsen gets the last laugh.
178 Comments
Elizabeth is not an Olsen sister; she is the Olsen sister.
You are forgetting about Ethel…https://entertainment.theonion.com/lapd-discovers-hidden-deformed-olsen-triplet-1819567000
Never saw that one, nice
Great minds think alike. At the same time, too!
Great minds think alike. At the same time, too!Well, the f in fcz1 does stand for Frank…
Elizabeth is not an Olsen sister; she is the Olsen sister.Taller, prettier, faster.
Qualified expert: small arms, numchuks.
She should join forces with one of the Culkins
That’s what they told Rachel Miner, but she chose . . . poorly . . .
OMG, my brain thought she was one of the twins all grown-up, never once realizing that the name Elizabeth is not the same as Mary-Kate OR Ashley. OR WAIT…. Is this a Barenstein Bears situation? THIS THIRD PERSON DOES NOT EXIST. Merely a glitch in the Matrix.
Posted this before, but back when Mary-Kate and Ashley were the only Olsen sisters anyone knew, there was this great Onion article.
https://entertainment.theonion.com/lapd-discovers-hidden-deformed-olsen-triplet-1819567036
The Berenstain Matrix?
I feel that way every time I realize (yet again) that Paul Thomas Anderson, Paul WS Anderson, and Wes Anderson, and are not the same person.
I don’t care, I’m still anxiously awaiting Wes Anderson’s Alien vs. Predator.
I’d watch the hell out of that.
He could probably get Daniel Day Lewis out if retirement for that one.
It would be a very interesting set with Daniel Day Lewis staying in character as the Predator all the time.
The fishnet leggings. Good God.
“I impregnate your chest cavity!”
Close enough:
Is it wrong that I actually want to see that movie?
I forgot about this gem but thanks for bringing it back into my consciousness! So, so good. And as far as X-men costume design goes, pockets are way better than a million useless pouches.
And I’d love it if Wes Anderson did one of those Stephen King “Dollar Babies” things, only instead of adapting a short story the filmmaking group would just adopt his aesthetic/style into their X-men movie, and this got a full-length treatment. I’d fund that kickstarter!
Imagine it moving onto the Dark Phoenix saga.Cyclops, reading a file about all the atrocities Jean has committed while possessed by the Phoenix Force: “She smokes.”
Given Wes Anderson’s casting track record that would end up with Bill Murray fighting Jason Schwartzman? I’d be down to watch it, serve as the “Rushmore” sequel we never knew we wanted.
“I miss Yautja Prime. I miss the seasons.”
Slightly OT: Do you listen to the podcast With Gourley and Rust?
Totally OnT. I listen. A bit too actively. I Patreonize. I got a question answered on a mailbag episode. I once went a little too out of my way to meet Gourley. I’m in too deep.
I Patreonize, as well! I’m a Baby Xenomorph. No biggie or whatever, just thought you should know. Were you as surprised as I was by the comment section of the Prometheus episode? Lotta hurt feelings, it seemed.
The color palette will be really quaint! And the soundtrack will feature obscure 1960s British pop songs.
Well I for one like how P.T. Anderson followed up There Will Be Blood with another Resident Evil movie.
“One for me/one for them” film making at its finest.
Wait. What?
In fact, Paul Thomas Anderson, Paul WS Anderson, and Wes Anderson are triplets. Except born 5 years apart. It’s a medical oddity.Also, they were born with very different skillsets. It’s either making very intense movies, making very stylish movies, or marrying Milla Jovovich.
I’m pretty sure marrying Mila Jovovich is already considered win in life. Getting paid tremendous amount of money by Capcom despite the fact being a crappy genre movie director is just an added bonus.
My brain has added Darren Aronofsky to that list, for some reason.
Wait, they aren’t alternative identities of Pamela Anderson?
I briefly thought the same, trying to figure out which twin she was. But, she makes my heart flutter momentarily just fine as her own self.
They basically all have the same face, and she kept the same last name – I’m surprised anyone familiar with the twins didn’t make the connection.
*Berenstain(is there a universe with a third spelling?!)
“She ain’t bright, she’s just thick.
Her man, the Vision, ain’t got no dick!”
If only Zach Snyder was doing MCU. We’d know whether or not he has one and how it compares to Dr. Manhattan’s.
DC made Alan Moore change the character’s name to Dr. Manhattan. It was originally The Blue Donger.
Just reading this comment made me cringe at the idea of a Snyder led MCU movie.
You’re not kidding about him not having a duck, are you? I meant dick but I’m just gonna leave it
Dude is a robot. You already know he got the vibrating tongue
so he’s a Deadly Duck?
Duck Amuck 2: This Shit Just Got Real Weird
Their marriage was a failure‘Cause he had no genitalia
How you gonna take your daughter to her first recitals
When you can’t make one, you ain’t got no genitals
“Recital” and “genital”? You must stress the first syllable in “recital”? Or the second syllable in “genital”?
Wouldn’t occur to too many speakers of American English to try to rhyme those words.
Artificial Dick. Vision basically a glorified dildo. I’m pretty sure with his superpower, Vision can build a functional dick.
I just assumed he can produce one as circumstances necessitate — probably more than one.
queens of rap
Hasta la vista / Baby sistaThey had bars, not gonna lie.
All 3 of them probably think it’s hilarious now.
Also … are you not going to ask us about our Pop Culture Weekend? And what’s happened to Reasonable Discussions?
https://www.avclub.com/tell-us-about-your-pop-culture-weekend-february-19-21-1846278749
Thanks! How did I miss this?
If you’re using the abysmal home page, it’s entirely understandable. avclub.com/latest is the only way to go.
I’ve done remote trivia with family and friends. I have one where they have to guess if a famous person is a twin, has siblings, or is an only child. They say Elizabeth is a twin every time.
I feel Elizabeth was lucky to have her sisters protect her in a very fucked industry, because she seems fairly well adjusted. The twins are so private but I do think they are brilliant designers.
I wonder if it was the twins protecting her or if it was more that Mom and Dad had their cash cow so there was no pressure on the other daughter.
idk, the sisters already went into privacy mode when Elizabeth started acting, and she mentions them a lot more than her folks in interviews. Gals all doing good for themselves.
*Kris Jenner confused face*
thats an olsen ear for sure.
Honestly, fuck you for this one.This is going to haunt my dreams, and I’m still reeling from Jon Bernthal’s ears.I will never get over this…Please, think before you comment (◡‿◡✿)
Once you hear that Chris Hemsworth………….seriously, just close this tab if he’s precious to you……….
‘s eyes are too close together, you can never unsee it.
Every day you get on this website and choose violence.
I’m having a ball. Scrapping and yelling and mixing it up. Loving every minute with this damn crew.
Liv Tyler has a serious case of man’s hands. They’re huge.
… Of cock
Of cock? Wut.
Weirdly I find close-set eyes to be sexy. WIDE-set eyes creep me out, man.
OMG! You are so right! Look at those things! So close together…I can’t believe I never noticed that. Almost freakish! What a goon!
I mean, look at those! And you can do it so easily because they are so close together! I really can’t UN-see it!
Excuse me for a moment. I think its time to have a talk with my wife about something…
Hemsworth’s a picking up heavy objects specialist.
Mighty Son Of Odin, Prince of Aasgard, Wielder of Lightning. How’re you going?
bee yu tey-tey Owwwt.
Yeah but if his shirt if off, no one is looking at his eyes
“Hey, my eyes are up here!”“Sorry, sorry … God! What’s wrong with those things?”
agree. close the tab now.
In other news, Will Smith is also an Olsen sister.
Is there something wrong with her ears?Full disclosure, I’ve been watching Fallet and The Great so admittedly I may have been desensitized by Adam Godley.
Man, how old was she here? She looks 15. Was it a kind of “what happened to the third Olsen sister nobody sees anymore” interview?
This was mid-2015, so she was 27 and doing press for Avengers: Age of Ultron. If your comment about her age had been flipped around, I’d be making a few phone calls…
72?
Really? That last gif makes her look really young, judging on body language alone. Also the whole thing about remembering the birthday. I guess it’s just an out-of-context trickery.
She is already in her 20s. This interview was from Bravo, around 2014 or 2015.
Maybe not-at-all-creepy adults on the internet set up a sort of countdown clock until she was of age, and she was then invited to a chatshow to celebrate when it elapsed?
Nobody was counting because she wasn’t acting when she was a teen. She debuted at 22 in Silent House and Martha Marcy May Marlene. Nobody knew her before that, she only had a handful of cameo roles in her sisters’ shows when she was 5- and 6-year-old (mostly because their parents were on set with her, I guess). It’s the reason why many people aren’t even aware they’re related, Elizabeth came into the public eye long after her sisters had retired.
I definitely have a crush on Elizabeth after seeing her throughout Wandavision.
My wife is an identical twin and I am going to lay this very nice bit of twin-baiting on her and see how she reacts.It’s got some angles to it, this one, like you think it’s not even a twin joke, and then you’re like wait I get it, and then like wait not I don’t get it, and if my wife says that I’ll just shriek “NOW YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS!” and flounce off.You gotta watch out for twins. They have powers. They tell you they don’t, but they do. For instance, they can laugh in stereo.
UPDATE: Conveyed joke orally. Was careful to read as the caption is written. Provided reminder to wife that Elizabeth, in the Olsen family, occupies the same position as my wife’s second and youngest sister. Reminded her of who the Olsen twins used to be.
JN: [after glancing at the image for 0.2 seconds] Hahaha yes haha. Mmn. Yes. Wait, is it Ashley-Kate or Mary-Kate?ME: Does it matter? I don’t think it matters. I just wanted to know if you got the joke, or if there’s some extra…JN: Whose birthday is it? She’s saying don’t mix us up on our birthday, but one twin has a birthday that she remembered, but the other twin has a birthday she forgot, but really they’re the same day so the joke is what’s the big deal. ME: Uh… Anyway, you just described twins as having birthdays, plural, without me prompting, so I feel… smart I guess? JN: [peering at image] Okay so her sister remembered her birthday but…ME: I think it’s meant to highlight the non-twin in the family, show things from her perspective.JN: Oh. Sure. [leaves]All of the above paraphrased as best I remember except the bit in italics which is verbatim, she couldn’t have said it any better. If you asked her to describe an amusing situation titled “twin birthdays getting mixed up” she’d make it about a person in despair at being unable remember which birthday goes with which twin, but, haha, don’t worry because #lifehack: the birthdays are both on the same day. Who knew! Reading back it’s hard for me to not make her sound like she’s being super super sarcastic, but she really wasn’t. [Looks around, checks corridor twice.]Twins are weird.
unless you’re having sexy fun time with them.
What joke? She said that one of her sisters remembered her (Elizabeth’s) birthday and the other didn’t. Where’s the joke? Unless you think she was talking about Mary Kate and Ashley’s birthday, but she wasn’t.
It’s interesting to me that the narrative is “Elizabeth Olsen was in her sisters’ shadows but now she’s the most famous of them all!” when Mary-Kate and Ashley are actually doing absurdly well for themselves.
I don’t think that invalidates the quoted part. She is unquestionably more famous right now.
“You got it dude!”
One of the Olsen sisters
And hopefully makes better relationship choices
Oh yeah God forbid adult ass women choose who they date? Mary-Kate was with Sarkozy for a long ass time. They are both rich business people who have a lot in common, but sure, let’s err on the side of treating them like children who can’t choose a good partner.
Are you an ass woman?
Well, she wasn’t as much “in her sisters’ shadow” as she was growing up on their sets so every once in a while the directors let her stroll into the frame. She didn’t pursue an acting career until she was an adult, and by then her sisters had long retired. There was never a moment when they were thriving and she was struggling.
Being a successful working actress on a hit franchise, vs running a fashion empire and being really, really, rich, so much that they don’t need the spotlight any more. Depends what you mean by success, I suppose. But I’d pick the twins.
No one said successful. They said “famous”.
yeah but he said elizabeth was more famous, not that she was more successful
How did you reach that conclusion?
I based it on the fact that Elizabeth is major part of probably the biggest film and TV franchise running and the twins, while wildly successful, are rarely heard of anymore outside of fashion circles.If you want an actual measure, I guess try Googling them. Elizabeth gets over 13M hits. “Olsen twins” and each of them individually TOTAL about 11M.
Well they won’t be doing alright for much longer if they keep smoking like chimneys.
They turned into Patty and Selma Bouvier so gradually I hardly even noticed!
Lizzie as Marge Simpson & MK & A as the chain-smoking elders in a RL Simpsons movie is a dream revenge fan casting waiting to happen… Lol
There’s this toxic idea in society that unless a person is a superstar, they’re a failure. Anyone looking at the situation can see the Olsen twins wanted the hell out of the spotlight as soon as they were adults. Not being famous is probably a massive relief to them. I suspect they’re happy for sister and even happier it’s not them.
Because now they’re very rich, fairly invisible, and free to spend their lives selling nondescript expensive couture and marrying weirdly old-looking French men.
They just don’t want to be actors. They’re great as designers and that seems to be what they love.
Fame and success are often related and therefore conflated, but they’re not the same thing. Bernard Arnault is the fourth richest man on Earth by some estimates, but most people don’t know who he is. Acting is one of the most common ways to get famous, but by all accounts, the twins don’t necessarily want to do it anymore. Which, since someone else made the choice for them while they were still in diapers, makes total sense.
More to the point, the Olsen twins made some much fucking money and their parents apparently were not evil and shitty so they actually can choose to live adult lives without ever having to work again so they can do whatever passion project they like. Hell they came out of being childhood stars not completely fucked up.
I’d legit love to see an interview with those parents because I’m fascinated by the concept of parents who allow their kids to go through that system but AREN’T monsters.
I guess it level of evil. I’m sure they are not great people but they at least manage to raise a handful of children who didn’t end up dead or in jail by age 20 from the pressure of stardom.
I did some research and a major element that seems to be a factor is that the twins had their own friggin production studio and all the stuff they made was under their control. Which ostensibly means an adult’s control (they were kids) but it implies a much higher level of agency than most child stars get.I agree that child stardom is utter shit, but that sure seems like the way to do it if you absolutely have to for some reason.
I know a couple of actors who have kids that they’ve allowed to do some work on commercials. They aren’t rich and the gigs they get are pretty small, so the stakes are much lower than most of the child stars we think about.
I feel like the part where the parents are also actors is a big part of that.
most famous =/= wealthiest
Shockingly enough, I have absolutely no idea who these “olsen twins” are and what they were supposedly famous for.So, if you consider it internationally, chances are Elizabeth Olsen is the only Olsen.
The Olsen twins played a character on a hit sitcom (Full House), starting basically as babies, and then when that show ended did a bunch of home movies and tv stuff of their own – they grew up on American TV, and then retired from acting to become fashion designers. I don’t know how any American who saw them on TV wouldn’t recognize that all 3 are sisters, though – Elizabeth basically has the same face as the twins.
I think Kaitlin is the funniest one of them all. Always Sunny……
Money isn’t fame. Elizabeth is also much better looking and an infinitely more talented actress.
Also, Elizabeth seems to be about 3 foot taller than her sisters.
I mean, they’re billionaires and literally get to do whatever they want now. I think MK and A will be fine.However, at least poor Elizabeth didn’t have any online websites counting down the days until she was “legal to fuck” which is something I remember happening to Mary-Kate and Ashley.
This might legit be better than ‘Alfie.’
Was about to post this.
Well, I guess her little pep talk worked
Oh that’s a tough call. The “Alfie” video ended up being kind of sweet in the end and also the tune is incredibly catchy. The Olsen track is just a slaughterhouse.
Right??
It hurt my ears, the Olsen one. Not their fault, they definitely didn’t write lyrics like “your pint-sized frame” (not sure that’s right but no way am I going to check).
In my mind’s eye, it’s that puppet performing Theon.
I hope you’re proud of yourself, I didn’t even watch the video but it still got “Alfie” stuck in my head for hours after just thinking about it. I mean, that’s not a bad thing, just use your powers of invoking Lily Allen wisely and with great responsibility.
Sounds like a win-win 😀
Awww young Lily.
I fully believe that Alfie Allen’s entire career, up to and including working in successful projects like Game of Thrones and Jojo Rabbit, entirely boil down to “I’ll show that b*tch.”
As an older sibling myself, I support this interpretation. “Oh you’re successful now? You’re welcome.”
That made me laugh more than I thought it would.
When I was younger I found the ubiquity of the Olsen Twins’ schlock to be annoying. Also, the “I can’t wait until they are 18″ crowd to be especially gross. Then about a year ago my daughter was watching one of their videos at my Sister in Law’s house. And the sheer amount of crap that they were peddling in front of the movie was mind-numbing. This movie, that movie, this book, this crusie (Maybe?) this video game. I swear they looked dead-eyed in each trailer. It was in that moment that I felt sorry for them for the first time ever. They looked like hostages.
I’m close to their age, so when I was a kid and evaluating them as peers, they were incredibly obnoxious. Looking back at them as two toddlers forced to shill some of the worst crap in entertainment, none of that is really their fault.
In the UK I think we only ever got the two sitcoms they starred in (Full House didn’t make it here, believe it or not), that movie where Steve Guttenberg was their dad, and that other movie where Eugene Levy was in it because it was 2004 and he was in everything, and that was quite enough thank you.
I thought it was so obnoxious when the other members of the Full House reboot were shading them for not coming on the show. I mean, granted most of them were kids when it started and didn’t have a ton of agency in the matter, but the Olsen twins were actual babies. There is no way in hell they should have felt pressured to go back for that reboot dreck.
Yeah, that was pretty gross on the Fuller House cast’s part. It was good to ask, but when the twins refused because why shouldn’t they, the cast and writer’s should have left it alone.
I think it’s amazing that they actually took the usual celebrity side hustle vanity project and made a real name for themselves. They’re actually successful and respected in another field, and aren’t even trading on their name and nostalgia for it. Good for them. And they deserve a life far, far, away from the cameras. They should logically be very messed up right now.
yeah, before Miley Cyrus stationary, there was MK and Ashley Olsen. they were incredibly popular for a while there, their pastel coloured kids books would take up shelves in my store. they kept multiplying in a worldwide merchandising takeover.
“…Also, the “I can’t wait until they are 18″ crowd to be especially gross.”Go check out Mara Wilson’s op-ed yesterday in the NY Times. Freaking Mara Wilson had doppelgangers appearing on fetish & porn sites by the time she was 12. Kind of makes you want a divorce from humanity.
I read that yeah. Humanity is gross.
While I knew that Elizabeth was their sister, I did just learn a few days ago that Mary-Kate and Ashley are fraternal (and not identical) twins. I always figured they looked a little different grown up because of lifestyle/eating disorders/drugs and possibly surgery.
Remember when Pusha T did those diss tracks about Drake? Those look like dog shit next to this masterpiece of venom and fire.
Yeah I mean Pusha and Drake aren’t even from the same country, let alone the same womb. Burning your own flesh and blood like this, travesty.
Aethered
Who are the FIVE hottest emcees of all time? Mary-Kate, Ashley, Dylan, Dylan, and Dylan – because they spit hot fire.
Damn thats cold blooded they ethered her. No wonder it took so long for her career to recover. Glad they squashed the beef and it didnt end in violence. Good to see she took the time to rebuild her cred since then and Marvel took a chance.
I still have a hunch that I have a twin that did not survive. My proof: whenever I wrote a rap, I only write half of it. There are all kinds of gaps waiting to be filled in.
That and the rattling chains in the attic
I was supposed to be a twin. All of the women on my mother’s side of the family have had twins for however many generations, and I believe that when my mother got pregnant, everything pointed to her having twins, including the ultrasounds. By the 3rd trimester, that twin had disappeared, and I was the only one born. They suspected I had essentially absorbed the other early on into the pregnancy. So who knows, maybe I DID have an evil twin born at some point, and my parents just decided to drop it off at an orphanage in a small town somewhere. Hell, maybe I’M the evil twin.
Dude that means you might be one of those people who has a random set of teeth somewhere in his abdominal cavity, or like extra bones or organs.
I wouldnt be surprised.
My son absorbed his twin (but like SUPER early on, like eight weeks) and I think it’s hilarious and my husband is horrified any time I bring it up to someone. But I mean . . . it’s objectively funny, isn’t it?
It is a little, heh. I mean, the thought that I basically fought my unborn sibling for supremacy and a chance at life is a little comedic, even if we have to leave out the fact that he/she took one for the team. I can’t complain too much. I’m here, so that means I won I guess, lol. It’s like a pre-natal Game of Thrones.
I had to come back 45 minutes after watching that video just to say “Damn you for getting ‘B-U-T-T Out!’ stuck in my head for the last 45 minutes!” I don’t know why I was compelled to click on this article, much less watch the video in the first place, but I have serious regrets. I’m going to be rage-humming this all day.
Yup. I could see why those twins were worth a BILLION dollars back in the day.
SHOTS FIREDed. *EXTREMELY ADORABLE* SHOTS FIREDed. ed. **EXTREMELY ADORABLE/TELEKINETIC** SHOTS FIRED
Well at least this is less harsh than the song they wrote about their brother where they offer to sell him for 50 cents LOLOL
That’s not a big expense.(I hate you so much for dredging up that memory.)
Liz is still the best Olsen. Never forget:
deleted
“Not that is makes this gag to drag…” sing the cherubs, at 0:58 of a 2:20 track. That’s not just confidence, that spooky twin confidence at a distance.
I learned everything I know about pizza from this, clearly, deeply troubled family.
This should be an anthem for every older sibling with an annoying younger sibling.
i object to this headline’s implication that i have at some point previously visited the Mary-Kate and Ashley diss track about their sister.
I’d rather revisit my last prostate exam.
Shel Silverstein did it first and better. Take that, toddlers!
I did not want to check out that video, but wow, so cute!! Whatever happened to those adorb’s? Oh yeah, billionaires.
I don’t think she needs to worry. She’s exponentially hotter than those two dumpster fires combined.
Nothing beats the pizza song
I have to say, I was not expecting a subversive parody of Queen Latifah’s ‘U.N.I.T.Y.’.