Riverdale ventures into an alternate dimension and finds some new blood
"Welcome To Rivervale" kicks off a five-episode event that brings Kiernan Shipka's Sabrina Spellman into Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa's flagship series
TV Reviews Riverdale
When a TV show starts to grow cognizant that it’s losing steam and/or viewers, the writers are liable to take any number of drastic measures to reinvigorate their work through its stagnation. Some of these are bound to backfire and underscore the flop-sweaty desperation to keep things fresh, such as the common last-ditch effort of introducing a new main character, a gambit usually landing closer to Cousin Oliver (irritating, unwelcome, a sign of decline) than Leon Black (a powerful force of singlehanded rejuvenation).
Early advertisements have confirmed that Riverdale will do just this by integrating an orphaned Sabrina Spellman, her solo series now canceled, into the more successful flagship of the Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa-verse. Her arrival will prompt a full overhaul of whatever internal logic still remains in Riverdale, as magic will become real and the show will relinquish its last pinky-fingered grip on reality in a paradigm shift that could go one way or the other.
What does work is the other major creative risk of this season, frontloaded in this week’s premiere, a reinvention so reckless and thrilling and partially-thought-through that the show comes to feel like its old self again. As explained by Jughead, his usual Rod Serling impression now blossomed into a full-on cosplay complete with fourth wall breakages, we’re no longer in the town of Riverdale. We’re one dimension over in Rivervale, with a V, where things are mostly the same.
The alterations made—to character dynamics, to external threats, to internal motivations—are slight enough that a beautiful simplicity starts to emerge from these authorial choices. The writing staff has contrived a circumstance under which they no longer have to worry about continuity or reason, where the only rationale for anyone’s behavior can be “this is just how things are now.” They’re free to make whatever tweaks they please. The Gordian knot lies sliced in half.
It helps that this episode puts the wiggle room it’s loosened up for itself to good use, cuing up a promising season-long arc while breaking several characters out of their ruts. Though she spends much of it lurking in the margins, Cheryl Blossom owns this hour, and not just in the full-force return of her weirdly baroque quippery. (“We will make a stew from its meat, a pelt from its hide, and a paste from its hooves,” she declares upon finding a slain deer in the woods by her home.) She flits from scene to scene and plot to plot, doing little occult favors for her former friends to solve the problems she may or may not be causing, tallying up some debts to be paid in the hallucinatory grand finale. It’s a clever structure leading to a satisfying payoff, two pleasures in rather short supply on this show as of late.
Everyone’s personal struggles lead them to owe Cheryl Blossom, her spells and potions most magical in the sense of being an all-purpose plot device. Toni and Fangs can’t hold it together because their colicky baby won’t stop screaming? Betty discovers that she’s infertile? Jughead and Tabitha almost definitely live in a haunted house? Nothing that can’t be solved with some witchcraft in the Pagan “old ways” sense, an agreeable pivot to folk horror that culminates in the final scene’s unshy homage to Midsommar. Cheryl Blossom and her miniature squadron of archer minions have big plans for the sovereign territory of Thornhill, linked in some way to the maple dripping from every scene, from the ill-fated sapling planting program to the myth of the Maple Maiden to the festival giving us the magnificent header image atop this article.
The couple stuff doesn’t do too much to slow down a rollicking episode, possibly due to its liberal use of sex scenes. (In Veronica and Reggie’s case, atop a pile of money, the realization of a long-held fantasy for her.) Though the sense of narrative advancement comes more from the meaningful reversal of positioning from the opening to conclusion.
We find Betty and Archie in bed, their incineration by bomb nothing but a faint dream, making plans for parenthood despite shrugging off marriage because “everyone we know who’s married is either divorced or dead”; by the climax, she’ll be round with fetus and he’ll be short one heart.
Veronica and Reggie present as Rivervale’s preeminent power couple, only to break apart when Veronica makes it clear she doesn’t take him as seriously as he’d like. Even Frank and Alice have finally stopped beating around the bush and confessed their mutual attraction.
“Chapter Ninety-Six” kicks off what has been promoted as a “five-episode event” set to open this season, which will ostensibly have more episodes after these first five, posing the question of how this differs from every other broadcast schedule. My guess is that this is just a confusing way of teasing the fact that this “Rivervale” arc will be contained to these five weeks, after which point we’ll return to Riverdale-with-a-D, the ramifications from one universe over carried with us or left there. For the time being, however, things feel fun and spontaneous again. There’s a bracing sort of liberation in a show’s realization that it’s free to declare the only rule is that there are no rules.
Stray observations
- Finding his cereal bristling with cockroaches, Jughead mutters, “Shades of Creepshow”—he’s referring to George A. Romero’s 1982 anthology collaboration with Stephen King, in particular the segment titled “They’re Creeping Up On You!” E.G. Marshall of Twelve Angry Men plays a cruel CEO germaphobe horrified to find that bugs have penetrated his hermetically sealed apartment, right down to the cereal boxes.
- Speaking of Jughead, Cole Sprouse wears the pressed-hair ‘50s smarm of Serling well, cracking just the right grin when he remarks of Veronica and Reggie tandem exercising, “Exhausting, aren’t they?”
- “All that was once fecund is now barren,” says Cheryl Blossom, in what’s not only the first time I’ve heard the word “fecund” used on TV, but the first time I have ever heard it uttered aloud.
- I would enjoy watching both Archie and Jughead consume upwards of one hundred pancakes. They both seem to take an unthinkable quantity of pan-fried dough pretty well, considering that a fraction of that experience reduced our pal Forrest MacNeil to an embittered, existentially gutted shell of his former self.
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Just in case people think having Sabrina in Riverdale is weird, know that the character actually originated in 1962 in “Archie’s Mad House”, a spin-off Archie comic where things deemed too weird for the mainstream Archie comic happened.
It reminds me of a 70s era spin off comic, where Archie explores spooky stories with his Scooby Gang. The regular comic and this exist side by side. Upset that Sabrina is not on yet! I feel that show ended badly and too soon. So is this going to finally get to the Afterlife of Archie, where Sabrina messes up bringing a dead Hot Dog back that bites Jughead and then zombies…plus Betty and Veronica as witches? I did not watch Riverdale for years because it did not start that way. But it is batty on its own. Are these five episodes going to be like Twilight Zone episodes that are contained in an hour? If not, Archie is back from the undead in the next one! I actually prefer more folk horror in my Riverdale so bring it on!Also, the frog was a definite Wicker Man reference. The 70s one, not the one with Nic Cage and the bees.
There is only one Wicker Man. It stars Edward Woodward and Christopher Lee. I know not of something with Nic Cage and the bees. My jug of brain bleach is mysteriously only 3/4 full.
I started watching this because I was intrigued to see Sabrina on Riverdale, having never seen Riverdale before. So I watched a youtube video intended to be a primer on the show and holy god what has been happening on this show for the past 5 seasons.
A video by a handsome Irishman straight out of the character creator for a modern ThirdPS by any chance?
The very same.
Which one would that be? Links pls.
https://youtu.be/DZ-FRSXypUE
Thank you kindly!
I’m very aware, on an objective level, that a 44 minute YouTube video and five seasons of Riverdale involve different very different amounts of time.But on a personal note, this YouTube video is also far more time than I’m willing to invest. I made it 9 minutes in.(I think I made it through the first two seasons of Riverdale? Definitely past season 1, TBH I no longer remember. Maybe it doesn’t matter?)
Why this one of course.But the show seems otherwise pretty self-explanatory.
And there is actually more craziness that he didn’t talk about
From what I’ve gathered from that and various other sources, The Serpent Queen is a Warrior Queen, but the Queen of the Bees is an actual mage so may have the advantage, while on the other side there have been about 5 Gargoyle Kings, but the Rat King was just a metaphor, while possibly also being one of Betty/Cheryl’s forest-barbarian cousins.That’s all completely coherent, right?
Eyepatch Wolf, right?
That’s a great video
I’ve been watching since the beginning, and I still don’t know what’s been happening on this show for the past five seconds.
Riverdale is fucking great. It’s just such an incredible hate watch because it’s almost always firing on all cillinders when it comes to being offensively stupid, but it’s NEVER boring. I wanna die from cringe whenever they try to awkwardly shoehorn a real world story in (whether it’s Jonestown, #MeToo or the documentary Tickled), but then they have Archie having a They Live-style fistfight in a school restroom with a goddamn Blackwater merc and how am I supposed to be mad?
I got into it during the second season when my wife was living in another state for a fellowship. When she came back at the end of the semester she asked me to catch her up so that she could watch it, too, and I told her, “I can’t really explain what’s going on, but it doesn’t matter. Just unplug your brain ball and watch.”
It’s one thing to jump the shark, it’s quite another to declare the shark to actually be a megalodon as you do so.I should say: that is by no means a bad thing.
If you are going go…go batshit. 🙂
I first heard the term fecundity as a teen from the Kids In The Hall. Educational chaps them Kids.
I remember this. Superb.
Haven’t watched this yet, but I REALLY hope they finally give Veronica a fucking story.What’s been going on with her the past two seasons is just goddamn sad – it’s total non-stories that go nowhere (like the whole feud with “daddy” about rum), it’s her making absolutely pathetic threats (the whole “She-Wolf of Wall Street” from season 5 really felt like w’ere supposed to laugh at her) and idiotic decisions (Chad did the world’s shittiest, most obvious con on her and I’m supposed to buy her as some cutthroat bitch?) leading to the most contrived bullshit (Archie lives with 3 dudes and wants stay in Riverdale – instead of moving out or inviting him to her place, she kills the relationship because she saw a dude shower and Archie doesn’t wanna move away, THEN proceeds to stay in fucking Riverdale anyway). Not to mention that she’s totally isolated from the rest of the group in storylines that don’t matter, even though she should be all over that shit. Her schtick was literally dressing up as a blonde to spy on fools, why the fuck is Jughead’s new girlfriend running around with Betty, why isn’t it the adrenaline junkie with all the money?Is Camila Mendes secretely a dick behind the scenes or something? Because it really seems like some backstage drama that she’s being punished for. Like, I expected Reinhart and Sprouse to have next to no scenes with each other since they broke up, but they actually had a bunch (and not on green screen) and they’ve been set up to have more screen time. Why is she being ushered into some weird Veronicaverse when nobody benefits from it? It would honestly do her more service to play the same role as Kevin does in everybody else’s stories.Don’t get me wrong, everybody else’s plots are really stupid and contrived, but at least it’s the fun kind of stupid. Archie’s Jacob’s Ladder stuff was laughable but it was also really funny with how over the top it all went (it helps that KJ Apa has great comedic timing); Betty doing the most sociopathic shit on Earth and ruining her own investigation is dumb as fuck but I’m never not entertained by it; Jughead going on the most stereotypical “tortured artist” sort of bender is tired but it also brings stuff that’s totally bananas like the Rat King; Cheryl’s story has absolutely no cohesion but who cares when it leads to her starting a lesbian witch cult and trying to sacrifice her girlfriend.Meanwhile, Veronica is just “I’m having marital problems with a dickhead I married for reasons nobody understands, least of all myself” or “I’m going to start a casino in Riverdale where there are no people and it will not matter anyway!”. Who cares?
Veronica sucks, Veronica has always sucked. I was sick of Hiram midway through season 2 and then that plotline proceeded to go nowhere and meander in a circle for another 4 goddamn years. Thankfully Mark Consuelos has done us all a favor and quit the show so we hopefully never have to hear about Daddy again.
I’d argue season one Veronica was good.
They tried to Mary Sue her character for whatever reason from the beginning. But she just was so uninteresting to me. Her whole schtick was only cute if you ignore that she was born on 3rd base and still couldn’t get to Home because “daddy issues”.
From social media it seems like the cast really like each other, but who knows. Maybe the writers and crew hates her guts.
Well its nice to see the prerequisite scene of KJ Apa without a shirt on has made it to the alt-Riverdale. Now that we have a Riverdale multiverse does this mean that DC super heroes can now make cameos?
Where Archie vs Predator no longer has to do with a teacher and statutory rape.
Ah, but who? I could see Barry Allen embracing the weirdness while being a little freaked out by everything, all while singing and dancing at some point.
The guano mad guys & gals of Gotham should crossover: Solomon Grundy meets Geraldine Grundy!Babs & Tabs double date with Choni!Archie vs. Gordon for most self-righteous do-gooder!
They’re doing the whole Legends of Tomorrow thing, but somehow worse.
Cheryl Blossom went full Lord Summerisle. You never go full Lord Summerisle.
Orphan Black than Veginald.
Does Dr. Curdle Jr. moonlight as a pediatrician in the main timeline too?
This was a good The Wicker Man remake.
This episode was both incredibly satisfying & frustrating. I want to
keep watching the series where Cheryl cut out Archie’s heart. So the
downside of the show finally embracing its horror vibe beyond Halloween
episodes is knowing this is just an altverse tale that won’t matter once
season six resumes in March.
https://mattthecatania.wordpress.com/2021/11/17/she-hulk-teases-armageddon-for-the-flash-rivervale/
I was confused with Archie being pure of heart when his family hurt Cheryl’s ancestor. Yeah, not only did the pure of heart thing have major Wicker Man vibes but the scene with the doctor saying swallowing the frog as a cure is right out of that movie too. Change Maple Queen to May Queen and it’s a good mashup of the best parts of Wicker Man and Midsommar. But, in homage, it should have been a musical. At least sing Summer is a Coming In.
Archie’s heart was pure … OF EVIL!
If there are no tribute videos of Rivervale’s Cheryl set to the music of the original The Wicker Man by week’s end, then what even is the point of YouTube?
You could have Betty sing Willow’s Song too.I really love that movie. The Summerisle pagans have a lot of zeal and lust for life. The first time I watched it, I was surprised the pagans won and no one came in at the last second to save the cop. That character was a real jerk to people on the island and their folkways with his elitist attitude. No wonder they chose him to sacrifice.I see it a lot like The VVitch. People rising up to an oppressive culture. Cheryl has gotten this spirit too since finding out about her ancestor that was attacked by other families in the town.Cheryl should just run off with Sabrina and her magical student-orphans and be a spin off. 🙂
And Salem should speak sassily this time!
This was shockingly enjoyable. More importantly, though, I can use this space to talk about Nancy Drew! Last week’s episode was delightfully scary; the jump scare when the Frozen Heart Killer appeared was completely expected, but still very effective. It continues to amaze me how good that show is.
I keep getting confused by the storyline. Care to help?
broke: OMG Riverdale is cuckoo bananas! woke: Who is your favorite Nancy Drew character, & why is it Kegstand?
Came on to talk Nancy Drew as well. Glad to see you back. I think Bess is going to turn evil, get seduced by the blonde witch that is not Sabrina into dark magics.
I thought so, but it seems like in the dream episode they lowered the chances of Bess turning bad on people. It’s interesting how they’ve really downplayed Temperance Hudson as a villain this season, compared to how she looked at the end of the finale. I wouldn’t be surprised if she is the Big Bad, but they’re keeping it close to the chest.
Riverdale is the greatest show of all time. Who would deny it? We just watched Archie’s still beating heart presented to a cheering Betty and Veronica. If you don’t like this, WHAT DO YOU WANT?
Are you not entertained? Well, then here’s Sabrina…soon…
Best part of the episode? The return of Veronica saying “make it” in lieu of “having sex”!I’ll be curious as to whether the Sabrina stuff is just for the first 5 episode “special event” or whether she’ll be in the regular RiverDale as well?
I havent watched this show in years but I hope the arrival of Sabrina means the eventual final season of Riverdale is an adaptation of Afterlife with Archie. I would happily come back for that.
Yes!!!
I’m willing to go out on any limb with this show as long as they keep things interesting (read: off the rails insane hot buttered nonsense). But Archie was sawing wood in the hot sun immediately after eating 119 pancakes???
My dear friends, fellow viewers, ladies, gents, gays, & theys: We were robbed of the scene of one Archie Andrews violently projectile vomiting pancake batter for 10 minutes straight that after sitting through five seasons of this bullshit, we are frankly all owed.
If they need a tip on how to stage such a thing, I’d recommend one of the show’s famous homages, this time to the great What We Do in the Shadows:
I thought it was a Covid thing, having only two people at each contest. Felt really strange. I guess Rivervale is alt fantasy to fantasy so Archie has a power stomach. But if they were going by the comics, .Jughead would definitely win.
Second episode no one talked about Archie dying. I guess they are all under Cheryl’s spell still?