Scream, Morbius, and some kid-friendly monsters kick 2022 off on a spooky note
Sequels to Hotel Transylvania and Ice Age are some of the bigger releases in a very quiet January
Film News Morbius
Even by the standards of Hollywood’s dumpiest dump month, this January is quiet. Things could get even quieter, if the studios get cold feet about releasing any movies during another COVID surge. As of now, the beginning of 2022 belongs to a new Scream, a long-delayed superhero movie, and some straight-to-streaming animated sequels. What, no Liam Neeson? He’s taking this January off, and leaving the ass-kicking to Adrien Brody.
Of course, as always, there will be Oscar contenders to catch up with during the chilly opening stretch of year. And that Spider-Man movie isn’t going anymore—it’ll still be hanging around in multiplexes, ready to serve those waiting for the crowds to shrink or the infection rates to drop. Keep reading to find out everything that’s coming to theaters and a living room near you this January.
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Home invasion also factors into the modern Wait Until Dark gloss See For Me
(select theaters, digital services, and VOD 1/7), which introduces
visually impaired actor Skyler Davenport as a blind woman evading a trio
of viscous thieves in a mansion.
As interesting as that might be, I assume that’s a typo.Though maybe not; maybe on top everything else, she has to avoid slipping on gunk everywhere.
They must be sticky bandits rather than wet ones.
Tacky
The tag line is “Sticky bandits for wet work.”
“Sticky bandits” sounds like somebody who spends a bit of time dumpster-diving for porn.
The trailer for the 355 makes me so mad. You get these actresses together and THIS is the material you give them? The most hackneyed and cliched garbage? I swear, I’ve already seen this exact same movie multiple times over the last few years. Who keeps letting Simon Kindberg make movies? I love that there’s a movie that’s been sitting a shelf since 2014 and they decide to release it in January during a pandemic. Now there’s a vote of confidence. They’ve been making Ice Age movies for 20 years now? It really does remind you that there was a time when Ray Romano and Dennis Leary were popular. Strange days!
Woa woa woa! So I think the 355 looks kinda… cool? Maybe the cast will elevate this. They are the selling point, and I am sold.
At a time when we’re in the middle of conversations about female characters getting their own action movies instead of re-appropriating male roles, I can’t rip into them when they actually try to do the thing we ask. All secret agent movies are going to be a little hackneyed and cliched regardless. This genre is more about style than story anyway, so I say have at it. I’m all about the Jolts and the Kates and the Gunpowder Milkshakes.
That’s a fair point, but it also strays a little close to “You just don’t like it because women”. That’s not what you’re saying, I know. But any random selection of action movies is going to be mostly shitty, and female leads (or writers, directors, etc) shouldn’t be a reason to pretend something isn’t shitty if it is.All that said, my only qualm with the 355 trailer is team movies aren’t my cup of tea*. I like solo heroes or buddy movies. Or at least give me a clear leader to get behind a la the M:I series.
* someone is going to cite Avengers but that’s a completely different model, with solo movies culminating in a team movie. You know everyone going into it.
Honestly though my main issue with it was that the women have to shed a tear and/or say something poignant about family in the trailer anyway. Like…we get it, you cast women, congrats now let us be badasses.
Alright, Pop…get in the house!
“Something about this one just feels different.” Literally nothing about what I’m seeing so far feels different.
I’m so disappointed in Jared Leto not drinking anyone’s blood. He clearly isn’t taking this role seriously.
I wasn’t aware that the Dracula Untold people wrote Morbius, it explains a lot about why the trailers have reminded me so strongly of it (causing me to think more about Dracula Untold than anyone has since it came out, I’m sure). Considering that movie was already more or less an attempt to make a superhero vampire movie, I’m guessing the scripts are more or less identical.
Dracula Untold, aka the first of many attempts to make the Dark Universe happen
No love for Van Helsing (2004)?
That would be neat if Morbius has to fight the Turks for some reason.
Looking forward to Scream. I’ve always loved that franchise even though 3 and 4 aren’t that good. Something about them has always appealed to me. I’m a fan of the Directors as well as Williamson so I’m hopeful this one might be pretty good.
yeah, i’m the same. I’ll buy tickets even after Ghostface develops a higher moral self, opens a time portal and returns to Woodsborough to kick it and eat popcorn with Drew Barrymore, or whatever unlikely plot twist eventuates in Scream 9. One of the few horror franchises I make time for nowadays.
Scream 4 works for me. In a series with sequels that have continuously tried to comment on itself, and the genre at large, while still maintaining its meta cleverness, I think the fourth movie is the one that actually does the best job of it. The time away from the franchise probably helped.
Yeah, Scream 4 is my favorite Scream.
I am all-in for CLEAN. It looks like Adrien Brody’s diving headfirst into pulp sensibilities (after the better-than-it-had-any-right-to-be Chapelwaite). It looks like he’s carrying over some of the righteous anger from that project’s character too, which I am also more than happy to watch. Are we approaching an Adrienaissance????
My immediate reaction to Clean is “Yea right! He wishes, lol.” The project seems narcissistic, but it falls into the kind of self-mythologizing I’d expect of Brody. So yea, I guess I’m game for this too- but in a totally different way.
Uuuh is The pink cloud a remake of french movie Just a Breath Away from 2018?
Take my breath away with every breath you take…
Kid friendly monsters? Like The Monster At The End Of This Slideshow? DON’T click to the end of the slideshow! There’s a monster!!!
Wait they’re releasing a movie SEVEN YEARS late?!
My kids love the Hotel Transylvania movies, and I have long thought that the relationship between Johnny (played by Andy Sandberg) and Mavis (played by Selena Gomez) is the best human/vampire romantic relationship in the history of vampire stories. At the very least it is the most logical and least gross/creepy.
Oh Mr. Caruso, was The Salton Sea THAT long ago? What happened?
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Can Hollywood get ANY lazier by calling another movie in the same franchise the same name? The Thing, Halloween, Shaft ( THAT one was completely insane it was the first sequel!) among others, and now Scream. It is time to burn Hollywood to the ground and start all over as the idiots in charge cannot fix it, but only make it worse.