I agree with all but Boardwalk Empire. The vibe was great and felt very Scorsese. If Mad Men can use the Decemberists then Boardwalk Empire can use this intro.
Boardwalk Empire relies a lot on the style, tone, and tropes of modern gangster movies and prestige TV, so this notion that it’s a faithful recreation of the 1920s doesn’t feel quite right to begin with, let alone like something so unyielding that it needs to be applied to the theme song.
I would say that most of these songs, though perhaps not great pieces of music, actually fit their respective shows fairly well. Enterprise is a clear exception. I hope someone was fired for that blunder.
The ballad of serenity actually doesn’t fit anything very well, except maybe in the “deleted” folder of the studio where it was originally recorded. It’s the worst thing ever committed to a tangible medium of expression.
Disagree with “Enterprise” being “great.” I think it was finally finding itself when it got cancelled and maybe would have been great if given more time, but what they aired was somewhere between adequate and good.
Even the Enterprise theme grew on me. Yeah, me too. It’s so optimistic about humankind’s potential to explore new worlds that I eventually started to think it was ok.
Certain guitar string scrapes, like in Boardwalk Empire are like fingernails on a chalkboard for me.It makes me cringe. It hard to explain, but it causes me physical pain.Actual fingernails on a chalkboard, ironically, doesn’t bother me that much.
Same, except that there aren’t any guitar string scrapes I’m willing to hear. Maybe it’s the frequency. All I know is that noise should not be allowed to exist. I don’t really mind fingernails/chalkboard either. I mean, it would get tiring after a while, but that’s the case for everything.
The Boardwalk Empire theme is “Straight Up and Down” by ALL TIME GREAT Brian Jonestown Massacre. I don’t know what the hell people are talking about that being a bad song.
Lex luthor was perfect, and I refuse to hear otherwise. Everything else? Definitely not great, and rarely ever good. Okay, John Glover was fun as well.
The Shield’s intro grows on you until you’re screaming “YEAAAH!” along with it. It’s corny, but it playing both at the beginning and end of each episode makes you accept it. You know it so well by the time you’re into season 2 that you just go with it.
I love the theme song from iZombie! I think it works great with the comic book style title sequence, and I like the song itself enough that I’ve put it on my playlists.
Not even remotely. “The Ballad of Serenity” is perfect; I don’t know what the hell these people are smoking. What’s even funnier to me is that Firefly premiered about a year after Enterprise, and while they both had folksy, twangy musical intros, I remember everyone hating Enterprise’s and everyone loving Firefly’s.
Not at all. The theme and series score were critically praised for mixing sparse lonesome Old West instruments with Asian motifs instead of the usual sci fi orchestral swells. Just the instrumental break is a treat to come back to each time.
“The Ballad of Serenity” rules. I…huh.I’m sorry to the person who edited this together. I understand it was likely an editorial mandate since the old guard was unceremoniously and unfairly fired. But c’mon, this is wildly low effort stuff.
This isn’t even low-effort.This is ‘Let’s make a hot-take list that literally 90% of the public will object to and hope it generates engagement.’Which it is, right now. But it won’t for long because this garbage is exactly the proof people need to know that the scabs they brought in to run this groaning corpse of a website aren’t even going to try to pretend at competence of the subject they write for.
I thought this article was a repost from long long ago. The old AVC ran an article about how terrible Firefly’s theme song is and I still think of this comment whenever Firefly comes upI don’t care, I’m still free. You can’t take this song from me.
You’re all fucking insane. The song is TERRIBLE. Anyone who thinks it’s a good theme song for that show should have their ears and mouths sealed with lead. You monsters make Reavers look like Mormons.
I really can’t think of too many I dislike. There are some I like even more than the show itself (ex. AHS series, The Borgias). The L Word’s was grating, and after working in childcare for ten years, whenever I had to listen to the Caillou theme I could feel cavaties forming on my teeth.
What’s wrong with living, loving, fighting, fucking? I remember everyone complaining about the song at the time. Everything about the music was good. It’s well put together. The lyrics were just annoying.
They really shit out this one, eh? Here’s my list of worst themes.5. True Blood. Hard pass on country twang.4. Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. All rhythm, no melody. His Tonight Show theme is a definite improvement, not that I ever watched either. 3. Homeland. The jazz by itself wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t overwhelmed by dialogue samples and snippets of terrorism news coverage from upside down Obama and the like.2. The Mindy Project. Brief, but still unwelcome. 1. NBC Sunday Night Football. I don’t care if it’s Faith Hill or Carrie Underwood, they found a way to make mediocre sound irritating.
I can’t believe that Homeland isn’t on their list. It’s terrible and it drags on for an age. I get the idea that it’s some kind of representation of Carrie’s fragmented mind, but that doesn’t make it any less of an assault on the ears. I don’t know anyone who watched the show who didn’t fast forward through or mute the opening credits sequence.
I can’t stand Carrie Underwood’s shouty singing. It’s so odd to me that they used a forgettable Joan Jett song instead of just writing something. It’s a football theme, it doesn’t need much. And yet they’ve somehow made using JJ’s song seem lazy and overdone
Firefly had an absolutely perfect beyond perfect opening theme song. It defined the genre, set the tone, and presented the milieu. Calling it ‘terrible’ is like saying Citizen Kane was the worst sports movie about sledding ever made: it shows a complete lack of comprehension.
Could never get past “Anne with an E”, I always giggled when it came on, which is not a brilliant start, I found that to me it was a 90s Adult Contemporaryness of it all (to be fair I think it’s mainly the end that does it) and nothing saying setting of a period drama.
Woooah you did not just dunk on Canadian band The Tragically Hip who released that song in the mid 90s !. yeah I’m not sure if its a good fit for the show , but in its defence it was released in 1996 , (Also sadly their lead singer Gord Downie died of terminal brain cancer in 2017)
Oh man, I loved the use of this song. But I grew up with it. And the main lyric aligns with Anne’s open-mindedness. Also, that is a nice pairing of Canadiana (the story and song).
The kinds of people who go to those conventions have absolutely fucking shit taste in music.Yes, including you. That song fucking sucks and you’re stupid for thinking otherwise. That’s not subjective. It’s fact.
I remember watching The Cosby Show, and it’s not that the theme was bad, it just seemed to go on and on, forever and ever. Every week. Then there were the openings that explained the whole premise of the show, every week, for years, before the theme song/cast introduction even started.At least that’s mostly gone.
Yeah, one thing I actually like about the Shield’s is that it’s like four seconds long. In some ways, theme songs feel like an artifact of a time when entertainment options were more limited so stretching out the experience of a show made more sense. But I can only think of a handful, like Vikings or Peacemaker, that I enjoy on their own merits. I skip 95% of them.
Then there were the openings that explained the whole premise of the show, every week, for years, before the theme song/cast introduction even started.My favorite of that genre was Green Acres, which explained the premise succinctly — except the show delivered something completely different from what the theme described. Still a fun theme, though.
I thought the reference was to opening narration as in Alias Smith and Jones, The Odd Couple, and Arrested Development (and Law and Order, in an abbreviated form).I enjoyed those old intros, personally, even if The Odd Couple’s existed primarily to say, “These men aren’t gay, we promise!”Of all the “story” theme songs (Gilligan’s Island, Brady Bunch etc.), I think Green Acres was always my favorite in part because of the enthusiastic, in-character performances of the actors, who I assumed were both non-singers. I was surprised to learn later that Eddie Albert was a musical theater star.
I thought the reference was to opening narration as in Alias Smith and Jones, The Odd Couple, and Arrested Development (and Law and Order, in an abbreviated form)….I expect you’re correct, and my mind was still stuck on theme songs, hence my misinterpretation. Oops.
The Boardwalk Empire one is fine for a modern-era drama but I agree that it’s not at all related to the show and very generic (if I had heard it now for the first time in years without the context I probably wouldn’t have been able to place it).I think the Smallville one works for that show and isn’t awful compared to the others. It feels of that time and “somebody save me” may be a bit on the nose but is hardly a disconnect from the theme.
This video is so wrong about the Firefly theme it’s actually ripped a whole in space time to a dimension where it wasn’t cancelled and is now a franchise bigger then Star Wars. Also Joss Whedon wasn’t a terrible human being in that dimension. Anyways the Firefly theme is perfect for the show and fits the theme perfectly
Yeah, I think people miss that there is a difference between not liking the theme and whether it bad for the show. The True Blood and Firefly themes work for the type of shows they are. I don’t like the songs and skip over theme when I watch them but that’s a whole different thing.
I’m sorry, but THE worst TV theme song is “The King of Queens”. Hilarious show though. I own the DVD boxset and will still stop to watch if I’m channel surfing and come across it. Those lyrics: “My eyes are getting weary. My back is getting tight. I’m sitting here in traffic on the Queensborough Bridge tonight”. UGH.
Maybe you should try working on real content instead of this mindless drivel. This is pointless, venal, irrelevant clickbait; the internet equivalent of “kicking the puppy” in a desperate plea for attention. You’ll get no more from me. “Hide All From AV Club?”
I agree with you about one thing: the Enterprise theme song was TERRIBLE. I didn’t like the show, either, but the song was trash. I never watched Smallville so no opinion there, but Firefly, Boardwalk Empire and The Shield are all awesome theme songs.
This is just so disappointing to see out of the AVClub. No details, no defense of these opinons, no insight, no nothing, just five disconnected opinions we’re all assumed to be on board with. Just… a listicle. I don’t blame you, Peter, but after what your bosses did to your colleagues it’s kind of unsettling to see content with this little… content.
It’s hard for me to get too worked up over something one could ostensibly skip, but I guess if I had to name a few:Home Improvement (the guttural squeal that defined a generation of mediocre sitcoms)Cops (I dunno, just because of the associated cop-aganda of making the police sound badass? Again, this is becoming a hard list to round out)Better Call Saul (cutting the last note off at the heels isn’t as cute as you think it is, Vince Gilligan!!!)(okay I’m done)
I rewatched a few episodes of Home Improvement a while ago. Al Borland constantly being degraded and constantly taking the blame for Tim’s mistakes is kind of depressing in hindsight.
Hard disagree on BCS. The lazy bluesy sound perfectly encaptures Saul’s character, but the way it cuts off is the perfect indicator that all is not well under his smooth exterior.
Excellent set of hot takes.1) The only good thing about Smallville and Enterprise was the theme music.2) The music in Firefly is pretty central to the aesthetic of the show, which most fans of the show dig.3) The Sheild and Boardwalk Empire are shows I know nothing about but the themes seemed boring and/or annoying.
I wouldn’t class the show as great (although if Enterprise made this list, perhaps that’s not too crucial…) but Modern Family might have the most obnoxious theme music ever penned.
96 Comments
Was this video randomly generated by an AI?
Random content generating AIs don’t have unions or allergies to herbs.
Mmm… herbs and onions.
A shitty AI with poor taste
There is just no way in hell that I’m going to watch this video, so let’s just assume it is entirely about Justified and move along.
I loved Justified’s theme song!
Surprisingly enough, no.
I agree with all but Boardwalk Empire. The vibe was great and felt very Scorsese. If Mad Men can use the Decemberists then Boardwalk Empire can use this intro.
Boardwalk Empire relies a lot on the style, tone, and tropes of modern gangster movies and prestige TV, so this notion that it’s a faithful recreation of the 1920s doesn’t feel quite right to begin with, let alone like something so unyielding that it needs to be applied to the theme song.
SmallvilleFireflyThe ShieldStar Trek: EnterpriseBoardwalk Empire
Disagree with all but Enterprise.
I would say that most of these songs, though perhaps not great pieces of music, actually fit their respective shows fairly well. Enterprise is a clear exception. I hope someone was fired for that blunder.
Their issue with Boardwalk Empire is that it’s weirdly anachronistic for a show that put a lot of effort into nailing an era.
The ballad of serenity actually doesn’t fit anything very well, except maybe in the “deleted” folder of the studio where it was originally recorded. It’s the worst thing ever committed to a tangible medium of expression.
Disagree with “Enterprise” being “great.” I think it was finally finding itself when it got cancelled and maybe would have been great if given more time, but what they aired was somewhere between adequate and good.
Even the Enterprise theme grew on me. This list is shit
Even the Enterprise theme grew on me. Yeah, me too. It’s so optimistic about humankind’s potential to explore new worlds that I eventually started to think it was ok.
Certain guitar string scrapes, like in Boardwalk Empire are like fingernails on a chalkboard for me.It makes me cringe. It hard to explain, but it causes me physical pain.Actual fingernails on a chalkboard, ironically, doesn’t bother me that much.
Same, except that there aren’t any guitar string scrapes I’m willing to hear. Maybe it’s the frequency. All I know is that noise should not be allowed to exist. I don’t really mind fingernails/chalkboard either. I mean, it would get tiring after a while, but that’s the case for everything.
Oh man, I loved it! But to be fair I also love when a guitarist experiments with his sound.
The Boardwalk Empire theme is “Straight Up and Down” by ALL TIME GREAT Brian Jonestown Massacre. I don’t know what the hell people are talking about that being a bad song.
Heavily disagree about Smallville.It was not a great TV show.
Agreed. The theme song was the best part!
Agreed. Tried watching an episode of Smallville and found it to be “Superman’s Creek” but been a fan of Remy Zero for decades now.
Lex luthor was perfect, and I refuse to hear otherwise. Everything else? Definitely not great, and rarely ever good. Okay, John Glover was fun as well.
Lionel Luther was the perfect Lex Luthor. Michael Rosenbaum did a great job, but he was never playing Lex Luthor to me.
The Shield’s intro grows on you until you’re screaming “YEAAAH!” along with it. It’s corny, but it playing both at the beginning and end of each episode makes you accept it. You know it so well by the time you’re into season 2 that you just go with it.
Also it’s like 6 seconds long and doesn’t include the verses. It’s not even recognizable as “rap rock.”
I loathe the theme song from iZombie, especially when paired with the comic book-style title sequence.
I love the theme song from iZombie! I think it works great with the comic book style title sequence, and I like the song itself enough that I’ve put it on my playlists.
am i the only person who liked the “firefly” theme song?
Not even remotely. “The Ballad of Serenity” is perfect; I don’t know what the hell these people are smoking. What’s even funnier to me is that Firefly premiered about a year after Enterprise, and while they both had folksy, twangy musical intros, I remember everyone hating Enterprise’s and everyone loving Firefly’s.
Agree 100% on “The Ballad of Serenity”; I bought the soundtrack CD largely on the strength of that song alone.
YOU CAN’T TAKE THE SKY FROM ME!
No! I was genuinely shocked to see it on the list. No accounting for taste, I suppose.
Nope not at all.
Not at all. The theme and series score were critically praised for mixing sparse lonesome Old West instruments with Asian motifs instead of the usual sci fi orchestral swells. Just the instrumental break is a treat to come back to each time.
The Firefly theme song is just fine, even better when considered in terms of the work it does in establishing the world-building.
“The Ballad of Serenity” rules. I…huh.I’m sorry to the person who edited this together. I understand it was likely an editorial mandate since the old guard was unceremoniously and unfairly fired. But c’mon, this is wildly low effort stuff.
This isn’t even low-effort.This is ‘Let’s make a hot-take list that literally 90% of the public will object to and hope it generates engagement.’Which it is, right now. But it won’t for long because this garbage is exactly the proof people need to know that the scabs they brought in to run this groaning corpse of a website aren’t even going to try to pretend at competence of the subject they write for.
No it’s a great theme song that is perfect for the themes of the show
Nope.
You are not. I love it too.
No , its perfectly fine , in fact I’m guessing showing it as the header for the video well……
I thought this article was a repost from long long ago. The old AVC ran an article about how terrible Firefly’s theme song is and I still think of this comment whenever Firefly comes upI don’t care, I’m still free. You can’t take this song from me.
i just heard it for the first time and i will tell you it is literally THE worst song i ever heard. ANd i like country music.
literally the worst song ive ever heard. I loved all those other songs on here but that one made me want to eat my own head.
The vocals are wayyyy too nasal. They needed a different vocalist. It sounded cheap. Backing track was fine, lyrics were fine.
You’re all fucking insane. The song is TERRIBLE. Anyone who thinks it’s a good theme song for that show should have their ears and mouths sealed with lead. You monsters make Reavers look like Mormons.
I don’t think I’ve met anyone who had a negative opinion about the Firefly theme song… except this website.
I always skip it. How is it NOT a joke song?
I really can’t think of too many I dislike. There are some I like even more than the show itself (ex. AHS series, The Borgias). The L Word’s was grating, and after working in childcare for ten years, whenever I had to listen to the Caillou theme I could feel cavaties forming on my teeth.
I never watched a full episode of Friends because the intro was so annoying. And then the song became almost inescapable.
What’s wrong with living, loving, fighting, fucking? I remember everyone complaining about the song at the time. Everything about the music was good. It’s well put together. The lyrics were just annoying.
It probably had to do with the annoying lyrics. I did like the show though.
They really shit out this one, eh? Here’s my list of worst themes.5. True Blood. Hard pass on country twang.4. Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. All rhythm, no melody. His Tonight Show theme is a definite improvement, not that I ever watched either.
3. Homeland. The jazz by itself wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t overwhelmed by dialogue samples and snippets of terrorism news coverage from upside down Obama and the like.2. The Mindy Project. Brief, but still unwelcome.
1. NBC Sunday Night Football. I don’t care if it’s Faith Hill or Carrie Underwood, they found a way to make mediocre sound irritating.
My wife just rewatched Will & Grace and jesus christ that over-insistent, dissonant piano noise.
I can’t believe that Homeland isn’t on their list. It’s terrible and it drags on for an age. I get the idea that it’s some kind of representation of Carrie’s fragmented mind, but that doesn’t make it any less of an assault on the ears. I don’t know anyone who watched the show who didn’t fast forward through or mute the opening credits sequence.
Homeland was definitely on my shortlist. It’s an honorable mention for sure.
I can’t stand Carrie Underwood’s shouty singing. It’s so odd to me that they used a forgettable Joan Jett song instead of just writing something. It’s a football theme, it doesn’t need much. And yet they’ve somehow made using JJ’s song seem lazy and overdone
Firefly had an absolutely perfect beyond perfect opening theme song. It defined the genre, set the tone, and presented the milieu. Calling it ‘terrible’ is like saying Citizen Kane was the worst sports movie about sledding ever made: it shows a complete lack of comprehension.
Firefly obsessives have always been closet racist, but I didn’t realize you were also so openly, aggressively fucking stupid.The song is shit.
Could never get past “Anne with an E”, I always giggled when it came on, which is not a brilliant start, I found that to me it was a 90s Adult Contemporaryness of it all (to be fair I think it’s mainly the end that does it) and nothing saying setting of a period drama.
Woooah you did not just dunk on Canadian band The Tragically Hip who released that song in the mid 90s !. yeah I’m not sure if its a good fit for the show , but in its defence it was released in 1996 , (Also sadly their lead singer Gord Downie died of terminal brain cancer in 2017)
Oh man, I loved the use of this song. But I grew up with it. And the main lyric aligns with Anne’s open-mindedness. Also, that is a nice pairing of Canadiana (the story and song).
I’ve started singalongs on convention floors just whistling The Ballad of Serenity. Hard disagree.
The kinds of people who go to those conventions have absolutely fucking shit taste in music.Yes, including you. That song fucking sucks and you’re stupid for thinking otherwise. That’s not subjective. It’s fact.
I remember watching The Cosby Show, and it’s not that the theme was bad, it just seemed to go on and on, forever and ever. Every week.
Then there were the openings that explained the whole premise of the show, every week, for years, before the theme song/cast introduction even started.At least that’s mostly gone.
Yeah, one thing I actually like about the Shield’s is that it’s like four seconds long. In some ways, theme songs feel like an artifact of a time when entertainment options were more limited so stretching out the experience of a show made more sense. But I can only think of a handful, like Vikings or Peacemaker, that I enjoy on their own merits. I skip 95% of them.
Then there were the openings that explained the whole premise of the show, every week, for years, before the theme song/cast introduction even started.My favorite of that genre was Green Acres, which explained the premise succinctly — except the show delivered something completely different from what the theme described. Still a fun theme, though.
I thought the reference was to opening narration as in Alias Smith and Jones, The Odd Couple, and Arrested Development (and Law and Order, in an abbreviated form).I enjoyed those old intros, personally, even if The Odd Couple’s existed primarily to say, “These men aren’t gay, we promise!”Of all the “story” theme songs (Gilligan’s Island, Brady Bunch etc.), I think Green Acres was always my favorite in part because of the enthusiastic, in-character performances of the actors, who I assumed were both non-singers. I was surprised to learn later that Eddie Albert was a musical theater star.
I thought the reference was to opening narration as in Alias Smith and Jones, The Odd Couple, and Arrested Development (and Law and Order, in an abbreviated form)….I expect you’re correct, and my mind was still stuck on theme songs, hence my misinterpretation. Oops.
The best story theme song is of course The Beverley Hillbillies.
The Boardwalk Empire one is fine for a modern-era drama but I agree that it’s not at all related to the show and very generic (if I had heard it now for the first time in years without the context I probably wouldn’t have been able to place it).I think the Smallville one works for that show and isn’t awful compared to the others. It feels of that time and “somebody save me” may be a bit on the nose but is hardly a disconnect from the theme.
This video is so wrong about the Firefly theme it’s actually ripped a whole in space time to a dimension where it wasn’t cancelled and is now a franchise bigger then Star Wars. Also Joss Whedon wasn’t a terrible human being in that dimension. Anyways the Firefly theme is perfect for the show and fits the theme perfectly
Yeah, I think people miss that there is a difference between not liking the theme and whether it bad for the show. The True Blood and Firefly themes work for the type of shows they are. I don’t like the songs and skip over theme when I watch them but that’s a whole different thing.
Firefly’s theme does NOT work with the show, at all, unless you’re a fucking confederate sympathizer
Your taste in music is shit. It’s absolute and utter fucking shit.
I’m sorry, but THE worst TV theme song is “The King of Queens”. Hilarious show though. I own the DVD boxset and will still stop to watch if I’m channel surfing and come across it. Those lyrics: “My eyes are getting weary. My back is getting tight. I’m sitting here in traffic on the Queensborough Bridge tonight”. UGH.
It is the worst.
Maybe you should try working on real content instead of this mindless drivel.
This is pointless, venal, irrelevant clickbait; the internet equivalent of “kicking the puppy” in a desperate plea for attention. You’ll get no more from me.
“Hide All From AV Club?”
I agree with you about one thing: the Enterprise theme song was TERRIBLE. I didn’t like the show, either, but the song was trash. I never watched Smallville so no opinion there, but Firefly, Boardwalk Empire and The Shield are all awesome theme songs.
You can’t take my opinion that the Firefly theme song is a banger from me.
You probably think Pat Boone was a musical genius.
Boardwalk Empire? You gotta be kidding me. Brian Jonestown Massacre rules.
This is just so disappointing to see out of the AVClub. No details, no defense of these opinons, no insight, no nothing, just five disconnected opinions we’re all assumed to be on board with. Just… a listicle. I don’t blame you, Peter, but after what your bosses did to your colleagues it’s kind of unsettling to see content with this little… content.
It’s hard for me to get too worked up over something one could ostensibly skip, but I guess if I had to name a few:Home Improvement (the guttural squeal that defined a generation of mediocre sitcoms)Cops (I dunno, just because of the associated cop-aganda of making the police sound badass? Again, this is becoming a hard list to round out)Better Call Saul (cutting the last note off at the heels isn’t as cute as you think it is, Vince Gilligan!!!)(okay I’m done)
I rewatched a few episodes of Home Improvement a while ago. Al Borland constantly being degraded and constantly taking the blame for Tim’s mistakes is kind of depressing in hindsight.
Hard disagree on BCS. The lazy bluesy sound perfectly encaptures Saul’s character, but the way it cuts off is the perfect indicator that all is not well under his smooth exterior.
Is there a Best Of list? Because the best is C’mon C’mon, the opening of Rescue Me.
As terrible a song as it is, I have a pavlovian response to the Justified theme.
Excellent set of hot takes.1) The only good thing about Smallville and Enterprise was the theme music.2) The music in Firefly is pretty central to the aesthetic of the show, which most fans of the show dig.3) The Sheild and Boardwalk Empire are shows I know nothing about but the themes seemed boring and/or annoying.
If only Mayor of Kingstown weren’t hilariously bad. Its two-note “song” sounds like a couch being moved upstairs, and it could’ve been a contender.
I wouldn’t class the show as great (although if Enterprise made this list, perhaps that’s not too crucial…) but Modern Family might have the most obnoxious theme music ever penned.
How in the circles of Hell is “South Park” not number one on this list?
Me: [sees Firefly in the article thumbnail]