My parents were undoubtedly thrilled by this one, but years of watching sitcoms and movies about teenagers taught me that I should really sneak out at night by tying some sheets together and using them to climb out my second-story bedroom window to the ground. This is essentially an idiotic idea, but I had seen it done so many times on screen by the time I was 16, it just seemed like the logical strategy when it came time for me to attempt my first-ever sneaking out after bedtime. I wasn’t even going to meet friends or anything—I was just reading Come As You Are, the Nirvana bio by Michael Azerrad, and figured wandering around at night by yourself, maybe writing some graffiti (on the sidewalk in chalk, because I didn’t want to be rude), was an important rite of passage. Luckily, I managed to not die; the sheets didn’t come loose until after I was close enough to the ground that I could jump. I rolled, stood up, and was greeted by my dad at the front door, staring at me like an alien had taken over his chid’s brain and was just learning the motors. Next time I snuck out, I did the smart thing: waited until they were asleep and used the damn door. [Alex McLevy]
