Sorry, candy smugglers: Cinemark has banned large bags from its theaters

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In a story that we sincerely wish was more about policing our desire to bring an entire garbage bag of contraband Reese’s Pieces into a screening of Black Panther—and not our modern cultural need to be on the constant lookout for an armed lunatic with a half-dozen assault rifles hidden in their duffel bag—theater chain Cinemark has announced that it’s officially banning bags larger than 12" x 12" x 6" from its theaters. The policy goes into effect tomorrow, so if you were planning on trying to sneak a carry-on suitcase’s worth of gummy bears into your local auditorium, tonight’s your final chance.

The new policy does say that it excludes medical equipment and diaper bags, so—provided that you’re one of those people for whom the ability to smuggle drug store candy into a movie theater is an inalienable right, protected by god and country—you can still feel free to load a Huggies carrier with a bunch of loose treats (chocolate, maybe?) so you can periodically reach in and jam some of that sweet brown goodness into your mouth.

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