Spirit Halloween: The Movie doesn’t offer much in the way of tricks or treats
The film version of those Spirit Halloween pop-up stores is equally cheap and cheesy, even with Christopher Lloyd and Rachael Leigh Cook minding the store
Film Reviews halloween
It’s a perfect pitch. Some kids get locked inside a haunted Halloween store on Halloween, all the rinky-dink costumes become possessed, and they’ve got to fight back with toy weapons. Not bad, right? Wait, there’s more—it’s not just any Halloween store, it’s Spirit Halloween, those pop-up shops that appear out of nowhere as soon as there’s a chill in the air, then disappear once the last trick-or-treat candy is eaten. “Sold! Take my money!” you cry.
But there’s an issue. Have you actually been to a Spirit Halloween? Most of the stuff in there is, let’s face it, mass-produced crap. Alas, that precise kind of disappointment is felt when watching Spirit Halloween: The Movie. It’s all smiles going in, which turns quickly to boredom, before an unsatisfied exit. To that end, one can say there’s at least some truth in advertising with this one.
Though clearly handicapped by a very low budget, the problem starts with screenwriter Billie Bates and continues with David Poag’s directing. The characters are flatter than Colorforms (do they sell spooky Colorforms at Spirit Halloween?) and the action is just atrocious. The cheapo special effects aren’t the issue—who doesn’t love a Star Trek: The Next Generation season one vibe with floating sprites matted onto the frame?—but twice the inept shooting style forced this reviewer to rewind a scene multiple times to make sure there wasn’t some kind of streaming glitch. “Whose shoes are those?” and “Where is this person in the space?” you might ask, as the most basic film school 101 rules are broken. (And this is not done so for avant-garde reasons; it’s likely due to a lack of proper coverage.)
Anyway, we’re talking about a kid-friendly, PG-13 Halloween movie meant for first sleepovers. When looked at that way, sure, very young kids (ones closing in on 13, perhaps) will have a decent enough time with this, so long as they’ve never seen the success models like Monster Squad or Gremlins or The Goonies.
Our story is set in a small town, where middle-schooler Jake (Donovan Colan) is having great trouble adapting after his father dies. His mother (Rachael Leigh Cook) has remarried, and now there’s an adorable little stepsister (or is it his half-sister? it’s weirdly unclear) who wants to dress like a Princess for Halloween. Gross! Halloween (a special holiday between Jake and his father) is about ghouls and the undead! I’m outta here!
Adding salt to the wound is his best pal Carson (Dylan Frankel, one of those deep-voiced pre-teens) who thinks trick-or-treating is kiddie stuff, and they should quit it. Rounding out the trio is Bo (Jaiden J. Smith) a shrimpy kid who tries to act as a peacemaker between Jake and Carson.
Anyway, they decide to hide at Spirit Halloween and spend the night, even though there is no cellphone reception in the area. They lie to their parents about where they are, and Carson’s older sister Kate (Marissa Reyes) covers for them. Jake is, of course, in love with Kate, even though she is much older and considers him a Halloween nerd.
Well, it turns out the Spirit Halloween is built over an old orphanage. Decades ago, Christopher Lloyd (yes, Christopher Lloyd, who clearly shot all his footage in one day) bought/stole the land, but the caretaker threw some witchcraft his way and tethered his soul to the ground. Now his spirit can only come out on Halloween and possess the objects around him (like all those cool costumes you can get at Spirit Halloween!) or, if he can find one, an unconscious person.
The undead, disembodied voice of Christopher Lloyd possessing various specters and giant bears as it chases screaming kids around a store is, without question, a thing of beauty. (The movie was shot at an actual Spirit Halloween location in Georgia.) But this charm only lasts a few minutes.
Things do get livelier when Kate joins the three boys; Marissa Reyes is a talented young actress with a good scream. Also, the little girl who witnessed the incantation at the orphanage years ago has now grown up to become Marla Gibbs (!!!), Bo’s grandmother. She has even fewer lines than Christopher Lloyd and doesn’t even have to get out of her chair. (She’s 91, she shouldn’t have to!!)
What kind of monster would give Spirit Halloween: The Movie a bad review? It’s harmless and less than 80 minutes if you turn it off before the credits are done. It’s just so embarrassingly thin. The few chuckles are all the more depressing when you realize that this could have been a winner with a clever screenwriter and a competent director. Poke your nose in the store for a moment, but ultimately there’s no sale.
22 Comments
It seems appropriate a Spirit Halloween movie would pop up out of nowhere seemingly based on yet another abandoned FNAF script.Kinda fits the meta of the store itself.
How prominent are the jumping spiders?
Good question!
Very:
Could y’all please return to showing where the film will be released (Theatrical, Netflix, etc) in the data box?
The preview doesn’t even say where you can watch this. Maybe VOD?
I think a better movie to compare this too might be something like the Jack Black Goosebumps films. In both or just the sequel, I seem to remember that Halloween outfits come to life, and these outfits were in a Walgreens or CVS or similar type store (I could be wrong though). The special effects when the costume turned into a werewolf or something like that were pretty great actually, but the budget for the Goosebumps films of course dwarfs that of this film.
The thing is, in Monster Squad, The Goonies, and Gremlins, costumes coming to life is not a pivotal part of the plot of each film. It sounds like this film has the poor mans version of costumes coming to life scenes vs what we got in Goosebumps (of which both films I actually enjoyed).
Other than Prime Video, I subscribe to most of the streaming services and would watch if it ends up on Netflix, Hulu, etc., but obviously a hard pass if this is in theaters.
It feels like a fundamental problem is that if I see “Spirit Halloween: The Movie” part of me sees “well, that’s and ad for Spirit Halloween- they want you to associate the fun of the movie with the store they want you to go to.” It’s not that I’m not interested in watching ads, but I’m not going to go to a place and spend money to watch what is basically a commercial for a different product.“Spirit Halloween: The Movie” doesn’t get treated differently from “Gamestop: The Movie” or “Wetzel’s Pretzels: the Movie” in this way.
Even worse for Spirit, this kind of weird cynical marketing DISinclines me to go into the store. And if other reviews for the film are as bad as this one, that’s even LESS incentive for me to go in. Which isn’t necessarily fair but that’s the risk you take when you try doing weird cross-promotional shit like this.
The review is spot-on that almost everything in there is complete and utter garbage. Some of the big electronic decorations / setups are cool to set off but that’s about it. My kids love Halloween so we go get stretchy spider webs to hang on the front bushes and fence but that’s about it.
Halloween cotton webbing is arachnophobe erasure.(jk)
Nope. You take that picture out of here. Go on, get.
“Have you actually been to a Spirit Halloween? Most of the stuff in there is, let’s face it, mass-produced crap.”Mass-produced, you say? Unlike the bespoke, lovingly hand-crafted goods offered at other chain stores?For what it’s worth, I’ve been in a Spirit Halloween quite recently. I suppose that I’m less refined than an AV Club writer, but I like quite a bit of the stuff they offer. I’m particularly happy with the assortment of Haunted Mansion-themed props they introduced this year
Just bought a fellow named Lord Raven there who now presides over our front yard. I too am happy with Spirit Halloween.
Strictly farm-to-table Ghostface masks for me, thank you very much!
Just because other places have mass-produced crap doesn’t mean SH doesn’t as well. It’s mostly meant to be disposable, though I’m with you that I enjoy the big animatronic decorations and the like.
Oh, absolutely. They’ve got their share of anatomically-incorrect animal skeletons and improbably sexed-up costumes, similar to what you’ll find in the seasonal sections of other big-box stores.But they also make a wide variety of licensed costumes and props from both popular horror franchises and cult faves. This year I was gobsmacked to find a working replica of a Killer Klowns cotton candy gun on the shelf! And I suspect we have Spirit to thank for getting Trick ‘r Treat the recognition it deserves.These aren’t high-end collectibles; they’re not meant to be. They’re for people who love horror films (or certain ghostly theme park rides), but can’t afford to drop hundreds of bucks on some WETA Workshop statue.
I immediately grabbed the Haunted Mansion bust they are selling this year. And I have a pretty great Creepshow long-sleeve now. I guess we’re just plebes compared with AV Club writers who only buy merch at exclusive horror conventions.
That bust is great, and I’m hopeful that they’ll make the other HM busts in the future. I adore their replica of the gargoyle candle holders from the stretching room.
I just saw that when I was getting a costume over the weekend! I opted for the resin Haunted Mansion sign for $19. You can get that sign for $100 at ShopDisney or $19 at Spirit. It’s a no-brainer.
I know I’m late to the party here, but I really wish the timeline for the dad’s death and the mom getting remarried was better defined (Or probably more accurately, better thought out by the writer). While my kids are young enough to enjoy the movie for the most part, my wife and I were just trying to figure out how long Jake has been holding on to his anger.