According to a study conducted by England's National Academy For Gifted And Talented Youth, brainiacs love to headbang. As reported by MTV News, researchers Jim Campbell and Stuart Cadwallader — two guys who clearly didn't go to my junior high — found that a significant percentage of gifted students are drawn to heavy metal, and that it helps vent the pressures of being smart, not fitting in, and having Howard Hesseman for a teacher. MTV's article ends with an arbitrary list of famous philosophers and the metal bands they supposedly correspond to. Kant = Carcass? Confucius = DragonForce? Dudes, you totally forgot Socrates = The Wyld Stallyns.