Oh geez, Taylor Swift just broke another record

The top 14 slots of this week's Billboard Hot 100 chart are fully staffed by The Tortured Poets Department

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Oh geez, Taylor Swift just broke another record
Taylor Swift Photo: James Gourley

The Billboard Hot 100 chart has been refreshed for the first time since Taylor Swift’s The Tortured Poets Department stormed into the world, and—surprise, surprise—it’s not looking great for anyone not named Taylor Swift. Actually, it’s not looking like anything at all unless you’re Post Malone and Florence Welch, who were smart enough to collaborate with Swift on her chart bulldozer of a project.

Billboard announced today that Swift had exclusively claimed not just slots one through ten on the list, but actually dominated the entire top 14. In her usual manner, Swift snatched this particular record away from herself; she became the first and only artist in history to control the chart’s entire top 10 with Midnights.

Swift is also clocking in with the most chart positions ever in a single week by a woman. We’ve written before about Taylor beefing up her sales and streaming numbers through unwieldy track lists and a seemingly endless stream of different colored vinyls, but it does seem like people are at least listening to the whole album. All 31 songs from both TTPD and its surprise sister album, The Anthology, have made it somewhere on the chart, with “Cruel Summer” thrown in for good measure. (That fact is still wild because “Cruel Summer” came out five years ago.)

We won’t see the full chart data for a few days, but this writer would like to spare a quick thought for Hozier, who finally scored the first number one of his career with “Too Sweet” last week, only to be buried god knows how far down the next—an especially cruel twist considering his real number one hit, “Take Me To Church,” could never surpass “Blank Space” in its own day. We probably won’t see high marks for newer chart residents like Sabrina Carpenter and Chappell Roan either, despite a lot of love for their respective Coachella performances earlier this month.

“You’ve outdone yourselves, this is unbelievable,” Swift posted on Twitter/X in response to the news today, prompting a number of responses from the loyal lackeys that got her there along with, of all people, Elon Musk, who shared that the feat was “very Impressive indeed!” In some genuine good news, this does mean that Florence + The Machine’s Florence Welch has officially scored her first top 10 hit ever with “Florida!!!,” which is something new to celebrate at least.

The complete Billboard Hot 100 top 14 list is:

  • No. 1, “Fortnight,” feat. Post Malone
  • No. 2, “Down Bad”
  • No. 3, “I Can Do It With a Broken Heart”
  • No. 4, “The Tortured Poets Department”
  • No. 5, “So Long, London”
  • No. 6, “My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys”
  • No. 7, “But Daddy I Love Him”
  • No. 8, “Florida!!!,” feat. Florence + The Machine
  • No. 9, “Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?”
  • No. 10, “Guilty as Sin?”
  • No. 11, “Fresh Out the Slammer”
  • No. 12, “loml”
  • No. 13, “The Alchemy”
  • No. 14, “The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived”

6 Comments

  • tomatofacial-av says:

    Taylor Swift has sold 1.91 million TPD albums. By contrast, Beyonce’s Cowboy Carter has sold 228,000. I’m pretty sure this means Taylor Swift is at least 8.4 times better than Beyonce, right?

    • bobwworfington-av says:

      Plus, Taylor’s boyfriend could easily kick Beyonce’s boyfriend’s ass.

    • drew8mr-av says:

      Beyonce doesn’t sell near as many records as I thought either. I saw some chart the otherday and she’s like 71st all time. Which is still good, just not amazeballs or whatever.

  • buttsoupbarnes-av says:

    “Only 14!”- Swifties

  • badkuchikopi-av says:

    huh. I almost didn’t recognize her. Did you just misplace the image where it looks like she’s farting into the microphone?

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