The plot of the Britney Spears musical has fucking nothing to do with Britney Spears
Aux Features Britney SpearsAre you a person who sits comfortably at the intersection of “Britney Spears stan” and “musical theater nerd?” Have you quietly longed for a gut-wrenching ballad that properly encapsulates the infamous head-shaving incident of 2007, or a heart-pounding dance number befitting of the pop icon’s love affair with Justin Timberlake? Well, get ready: The upcoming Britney Spears jukebox musical doesn’t have shit to do with any of that. Actually, the plot is way stranger than any of the highly publicized details of her life.
The musical comedy, currently titled Once Upon A One More Time, will tell the story of a book club consisting of Snow White, Repunzel, Cinderella, and Sleeping Beauty. When the women long for new reading material, a fairy godmother appears to provide them with a suitable replacement for their well-worn copies of Grimms’ fairy tales – Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique.
“These women have been in this hermetically sealed world, and then they start to get deeper into modern ideas — second and third-wave feminism — and also explore how stories are passed down to us, and where we get our norms from,” explains book writer Jon Hartmere. “But it’s also super fun and funny.”
The score includes 23 songs from Spears’ expansive catalog, per Hartmere, which will involve a mix of known hits and deeper cuts. Kristin Hanggi (“Rock Of Ages”) is set to direct while dance duo Keone and Mari Madrid will choreograph. Once Upon A One More Time is scheduled to start previews Oct. 29, to open Nov. 13, and to run until Dec. 1 at the James M. Nederlander Theater in Chicago, replacing the previously slated Michael Jackson musical Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough, which scrapped its Chicago plans just before the explosive HBO documentary Leaving Neverland.
So while we might not get a glitter-fueled reimagining of Spears’ Vegas residency, we could very well get a fairy godmother advising Sleeping Beauty to “Work Bitch,” which is just as compelling.
[Via The New York Times]
40 Comments
I had to double and triple check to make sure I wasn’t reading an Onion article as I scrolled through this… Perhaps this is some sort of The Producers style scam?
The premise sounds ridiculous, and all the classic princess stuff has been overdone, it seems like an Onion article to me as well. Maybe it‘ll be well-executed and cast… + Feminine Mystique is a great book.
“Britney Spears stan”I’m familiar with the term, but I still like to imagine this is a authoritarian Central Asian country whose national anthem, Toxic, plays over cities’ loudspeakers every morning.
Well if you’re going to adopt one of Britney Spears’ singles as your national anthem, you might as well use her best.
So “Lucky?”
“So why do these tears come at night” would be a bold, bold line for an authoritarian dictatorship to put into their national anthem.
“So why do these tears come at night” would be a bold, bold line for an authoritarian dictatorship to put into their national anthem.
Ooh, makes me think of government-issued school girl uniforms…even for your uncles and male gym teachers!
Hey now, during gym class you are allowed to wear yellow zip-up halter-tops and sweats.
“Responding to accusations of human rights violations, Britneyspearstan’s ambassador admitted that the country’s top-level officials were ‘not that innocent.’”
I see you haven’t been to Twerkmenistan yet.
In BritneySpears-stan, Amy seeks U.
I’ll happily admit to being a fan of any number of things (not Britney, though I have nothing particularly against her), but being called a “stan” of anything will be met with an immediate “fuck off.”
I don’t know why, but I hate the term. I also dislike how often it is utilized on this website.
Ditto. It seems to basically be a synonym for “really fervent fan” but the ostensible etymology is that it’s short for “stalker-fan,” except what the fuck does that even mean? Either you’re stalking someone or you’re not.
It’s not from “stalker-fan,” that’s a false etymology. It’s from “Stan”, an Eminem song about an obsessed fan.
Oh yeah, I’d forgotten about that song, thanks. Although it’s unclear why he chose the name “Stan” aside from it rhyming with “fan”; even the Oxford English Dictionary blog had an entry where they suggested he chose it (at least in part) because it’s a portmanteau of “stalker” and “fan.” I wonder if Mathers has ever talked about it.
If you choose to end it all in the form resembling a song’s lyrics because you never got a response back from a celebrity then it’s not far off to call you a stalker.
It’s also cultural appropriation, like what does Britney Spears have to do with K-pop anyways?
Now granted, all I know about jukebox musicals are the two Mamma Mia movies and (for some reason) Escape from Margaritaville, but is it unusual for a jukebox musical to not be centered on the artist of the music? Because from my, as stated, well versed knowledge of the genre, it seems like it might be not that weird.
Yep, not that unusual. Recently the musical “Head Over Heels” played on Broadway, featuring the music of the Go Gos and a story set in a fictional kingdom in the 15th or 16th Century. Meanwhile, the musical “& Juliet” is getting ready to run in London, featuring the music of Max Martin (including, funny enough, Britney Spears’ “…Baby One More Time.”
So you’re saying my script about the Congress of Vienna set to the music of Ronnie James Dio isn’t a terrible idea?
I would pay to see any musical based on the music of Dio.
Irony 101: you’re the last in line.
Most aren’t.
We Will Rock You, which I don’t think has made it to the US yet, was set in a dystopian future where music was banned or some shit, so…no, not unusual.
SEE ALSO: Our House, which has shockingly little to do with the band Madness.Yes, there is a Madness musical.
It sucks that they were a one-hit wonder in the US; I had to watch The Young Ones to hear House of Fun for the first time.
I can say, without a doubt, that this still sounds way better than the fucking Jimmy Buffet musical.
So these princesses are going with The Feminine Mystique rather talk about Camille Paglia’s views around sadism and perversity?
BREAKING: Mamma Mia! has nothing to do with ABBA, Rock of Ages has nothing to do with Def Leppard, et. al.
Once Upon A One More Time sounds like a Lonely Island parody.
Makes me think of these.
Can’t wait for the terrible film adaptation directed by Adam Shankman.
I feel like you guys need to hire some new writers who are a little better at swearing than this. I mean, that headline is some fifth grade, “just learned to curse” type of shit.
Before I actually read what followed the headline, I was hoping for Jackie Jormp-Jomp.
Are you a person who sits comfortably at the intersection of “Britney Spears stan” and “musical theater nerd?” Thank you so much for the question! The answer is no.
The only jukebox musical I care to see is “The Man Who Fell To Earth” set to David Bowie.
Have you heard of Lazarus? It’s basically exactly what you’re describing and, from all appearances, it’s dull as hell
I was just yesterday thinking of the brazenness of “If You Seek Amy.”